by Cee, DW
Ali nodded and repeated, “Hi Mama.”
Mar whispered sweet words in Ali’s ears and kissed her some more. This sight gave me an overwhelming relief that I’d made the right choice in openly talking to Mar about our status. Never had I seen Mar this expressive with Ali. It was a blessed interaction to watch. Both mother and daughter flourished from loving one another.
“Hello? Where’s the love for your Dada, Ali?”
My daughter gave me a cursory glance, and then hugged her mother again.
“Ali-Girl, can daddy take care of you so I can finish your breakfast?”
She smiled and nodded yes. My beautiful redhead ran to me as soon as Mar placed her down and kissed me on the lips.
“How about a ‘Hi Dada?’ beautiful girl?”
“Hi Dada,” she declared and hugged my neck. I loved having a daughter. There was no better greeting in the mornings than a hug and kiss from my baby.
“All right, Baby. Let’s have you sit and eat your waffles with strawberries.”
Ali dug in with gusto.
“She’s a doll, isn’t she?”
“She is, Ben. Why don’t you join her? I thought you had a lot of work to do today?”
“Yeah, you’re right.” I, too, wolfed down the delicious breakfast.
“So...have you thought about who you’re going to ask out?”
“I’ve no idea, Mar. Maybe I’ll ask a colleague at work. There’s another teacher who’s always asking me out for coffee. If she’s interested, perhaps I’ll ask her out.”
“Yeah?” she asked between sips. “Great. What time shall I pick up Ali on Saturday?”
I couldn’t quite grasp if Mar wanted me to go out on this date or not. She asked the questions, but the tone of questioning was strained. Odd. This entire conversation felt odd and wrong for some reason.
“If you want, you can keep her at your place starting tomorrow. I have a few deadlines I have to meet, and it might help to work at school the entire time. I might be really late Friday.”
“All right.” Mar finally put out a genuine smile. “If you don’t mind, Mom and maybe even your parents, will put Ali down for the night.”
“Why?”
“I’m having dinner with Noah and his father.”
“You are?” That sounded way too involved. “Why?” And that sounded no better.
“Noah called a few days ago and asked to meet.”
“What does he want now?”
“I’m hoping he just wants to be friends. It can’t be anything else since I told him we were over.”
“You did? For sure?” These high-pitched words were not helping my cause. I sounded like an over-eager teenage boy.
“Yeah. I did. I told you Ali is all I need. I don’t see a man in my future.”
“OK. I suppose I agree with you.”
“Have a good day, Ben. I’m going to clean up Ali and take her for a run. Since I’ve stopped swimming, my body’s itching to exercise.”
I placed my hand over Mar’s and stopped her from what felt like an escape. “You know you’re welcome to use the pool here. Just because you live a few blocks away doesn’t suddenly make you a stranger. Don’t behave like one, Mar. You’re hurting my feelings.”
There was relief in her face, but she didn’t say much other than, “See you later.”
Without a doubt, I liked our newfound relationship where Ali was concerned. Still, Mar remained distant and that bothered me. Maybe after all these deadlines were met, we’d talk again. Our talks have always taken our friendship to a deeper level. I wanted to be her close friend again.
Chapter 16 - Noah
In The Air ~Morgan Page
“Are you seriously headed back up to help Ben?”
“I have to, Noah. He and Ali have lost Melody. There’s no one there to help them.”
“What about his parents? What about Melody’s parents? Why you, Marni? Why are you always willing to meet Ben’s needs but not mine?”
“This isn’t like that, Noah. Ben tried to take care of Ali but he’s struggling. Let me go help him for a short while. I’ll be back soon.”
“You know what, don’t bother. You’ve obviously made your choice. Go live with your ex-boyfriend and his daughter. She may as well be your daughter, too, since you gave her life. This is it, Marni. I can’t take being second, third, fourth on your list.”
“Noah. Please understand. There’s a little girl’s well-being in jeopardy. I’m not going to live with them. I’m just helping out for the time being.”
“I’ve waited long enough, Marni. I’m done. We’re done.”
“Hey, Marni. Over here.”
Marni walked toward me with a sweet smile. “Hi.”
“Hello. You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. Where’s the Admiral?”
“He couldn’t make it. I was supposed to meet him this afternoon but he was called into some secret meeting. Since he’s yet to make contact, I’m assuming he’s either in transport to some other location, or it’s something so urgent, he can’t call.”
“Does that happen a lot?”
“In his line of work and rank, yeah. He’s a sought-after Admiral.”
“Wow. That has to be cool and annoying at the same time. I see why marriage wouldn’t work for him.”
“That was Eli and Cece’s relationship in a nutshell.”
“Gotcha. How’s work?”
“It’s almost over. My project is done at the end of next week. I’ll be transferred to my new job.”
“Wow. That was fast. Where will this new job be?”
“That’s up to you, Marni.”
“Me?” She asked with too much surprise. It hurt to know she hadn’t considered what I’d proposed the last time we talked.
“Dad and I are hoping you’ll pick LA for us. Neither of us has ever worked here. According to Dad, it’s a fun assignment.”
“You and the Admiral can work here without my approval. It shouldn’t be up to me where you work next. Please don’t hand me that responsibility.” Her attitude killed me. I saw the outcome and it wasn’t what I was dreaming of the past few weeks.
“Marni.” I held her hand over the table and made one last plea. “I’m sorry I walked out on us on our wedding day. Not too long ago, you loved me enough to want to spend an eternity with me. Please tell me those feelings haven’t disappeared already. We are perfect together. My family loves you. Ali has three more grandparents who adore her. We could make this family work.”
“Noah. I don’t know how else to explain that I’m done with relationships. The only kind I’ll accept are the familial ones. I don’t believe in marriage and happily-ever-after anymore. I’d like to be left alone with Ali and my mother. Please respect my decision.”
“So all your love for me is gone? Within the space of a few weeks, you can erase me entirely from your life?”
“You did it in a matter of minutes. My daughter was hospitalized and you left me without a look back. All you thought about was your hurt feelings. What about me? I was terrified thinking my daughter was going to die.” Everything Marni said in anger was correct.
“I’m sorry. I’m asking you for forgiveness now. I’m asking you for a second chance.”
“I’m sorry, too. I can’t do it, Noah. My daughter is the only person I want to focus on right now. I hope you and your family will be well. Good-bye.”
She left with those parting words.
We were done.
Chapter 16 - Marni
In The Air ~Morgan Page
“Marni. Thank God you’re here!”
“I’m here, Mel. I’ll be here as long as you need me. Don’t cry.”
“I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to die before asking you to forgive me for all I’ve done to you. I took away everyone you’ve ever loved. I didn’t mean to ruin your life. I’m sorry. Please tell me you forgive me.”
“Melody. Stop being so dramatic. You’re going to be fine. I expect to see you up and
dancing around with your baby in a few days.”
“I’m so scared, Mar. I don’t know why, but I don’t think I’m going to live to see Ali’s first birthday.”
“It’s the medicine and your fever making you talk gibberish. You’re going to be fine, Mel.”
“No. God is punishing me for all the sins I’ve committed against you. I’m sorry I made you go away. Mom and I shouldn’t have shut you out of Ali’s life.”
“Mel. God is not punishing you. There are no sins against me. I am not harboring any anger.”
“But you’re hurt. I know you’re hurt.”
“Yes, I was hurt. But, I’m all right now. I wouldn’t have pumped and sent you breast milk every day if I was angry with you. You and your mom could have asked me to leave in a nicer way, but what’s done is done. I know you were emotional during that time. I was probably at fault, too, for not including you in the childrearing duties. Yes. I was at fault, too.”
“Do you forgive me for what I asked of you?”
“Yes, Mel. I forgive you for everything you’ve asked of me.”
“Do you forgive me for taking away the only man you’ve ever loved?”
“What Ben and I had was high school love. Nobody marries his or her high school sweetheart. I love Noah, now.”
“You don’t love Noah, at least not the way you loved Ben.”
“How do you figure, Little Sister? I’ve been with Noah almost as long as I was with Ben.”
“He doesn’t make you laugh like you used to with Ben. When you look at Noah, it’s not that same look of love I saw when I was younger. You definitely don’t talk about Noah as often as you used to talk about Ben.”
“Maybe Noah isn’t as funny as Ben. Your husband has that goofy side to him that makes a passing stranger laugh. As for making googly eyes at Ben back in high school, I think you’re mistaking yourself for me. I know you’ve had the biggest crush on Ben since you were in grade school. It was you who was awestruck every time Ben walked into a room, not me. To refute your last point, I don’t talk as much now on any topic as I did back in high school. I don’t have that same kind of energy. It has nothing to do with the subject.”
“You’re deflecting in the same Marni-fashion as you’ve always done. You loved Ben and I took him away from you.”
“OK. I’ll agree to everything you say. I’ll forgive you and everyone in this hospital if you’ll agree to save your energy and sleep. This talk is so not necessary, Melody. We are many years beyond what’s happened, and you have a beautiful baby girl to raise.”
“I don’t know how I could have asked you to make that last sacrifice. I’m the most selfish person in this world. Do you forgive me?”
“Mel. Thanks to your selfishness, we have a beautiful baby girl who will be the apple of all of our eyes. How can you ask me to forgive you when you gave me a beautiful gift, too? I love Ali. I know you and Ben love her more than life itself. What you did wasn’t selfish.”
“Are you sure?”
“Unconventional, yes. Selfish, no. I should be thanking you for convincing me to carry Ali. Those were the most perfect nine months of my life. If I had to do it all over again, I’d do it the exact same way.”
“Before I sleep, will you promise me one more thing?”
“Sure, Sister. Anything.”
“Promise me that you’ll take care of Ali if anything happens to me.”
“Mel. Nothing is going to happen to you. In a few days, we’ll all be home and you and I will be laughing about today.”
“Please promise me that you’ll love Ali because she’s your own and you’ll convince Ben to marry again. He’s too young and loving to be alone.”
“I will take care of Ali and Ben. This is the last promise I’m making for today. You need to sleep and regain your strength.”
“One more thing, Sis.”
“Last one, Mel.”
“Promise me you won’t resist finding love with Ben again.”
“Melody Montgomery Howard! I want you to stop this senseless talk.”
“You, Ben, and Ali will make a beautiful family. It was how it was supposed to be.”
“OK! Go to sleep, Melody Howard. That’s an order. If you’re good and fall asleep now, I’ll bring you a video of your baby.”
“Tell Ben and Ali I love them. And tell everyone that I’m going home.”
“I will let everyone know that you will be going home very soon.”
“What’s the matter, Marni? You’ve been sitting on the front step for an hour now. What’s going on?”
“Hey, Mom. Ali’s all right?”
“She’s snoring away. Our day at the beach wore her out. She looked ready to pass out during her bath.”
“She loves the water.”
“Just like her mama. She reminds me so much of you when you were her age. She looks like you, acts like you—even her mannerisms are scary similar.”
“I’m so grateful you are here to help and support me. I don’t know where I’d be without you.” I leaned on Mom’s shoulders and rested my weary head. “Thank you for loving me and my daughter.”
“You’ve been down since your dinner with Noah last night. Tonight, you’re even worse off. What’s going on, Marni? Talk to your mother. Let me help you.”
“My heart hurts, Mom.” The tears were inevitable with Mom stroking my head. “Noah asked me one last time to start, or continue, a relationship with him, and I told him no. We’re done for good.”
“If it hurts you this much to give him up, why’d you do it? There are no secrets now. With everything in the open, you and Noah could have made it work this time.”
“It’s not Noah that makes my heart hurt as much as the loss of a dream.”
“What’s the dream you believe you’ve lost?”
“Marriage, a husband, more kids, a family—it’s not a part of my future. I tell myself and everyone around me that I’ll be fine, but the reality is, the thought of being by myself scares me. Eventually, Ali will grow up and create a family of her own. I’ll be all alone. What will I do then? How did you live alone all this time?”
Mom continued to stroke and kiss my head. “I’ll be honest with you, Marni. I’ve never desired being with another man after your father burned me. I was happy to have you with me and content to live alone. If you’re already thinking about being lonely, I think you have a few dating years left in you.” Mom chuckled. “We single women are a special breed. Not too many can live our lives with a smile.”
I disagreed with her. “I’m done with men, too. They’re too much work and too much heartache. I’ve loved two men in my life, and both have crushed me. How can I ever do this again?”
“Ben was your first love, but you were young. You might find he’s a different man now that he’s matured.”
“What?” I wanted to not understand what my mother was getting at.
“Ben is the father of your daughter. He’s your good friend, when you’re not fighting. Benjamin, Shea, and I are hoping for everyone’s sake that you two might find love again.”
“Mother!” I exclaimed and scoffed, but understood where they were coming from. It would be an easy “fix” if we got together. “You do know he was married to Melody and is still very much in love with her?”
“So? He’d be a jerk if he forgot about his late wife.”
“Ben’s not interested. In fact, he’s out on a date tonight.” It hurt to admit Ben was moving on when my life appeared rooted.
“Can you admit to your mother that you’re not the least bit interested in Ben Howard?”
“Mom,” I begged, “don’t do this to me. Our situation is difficult enough. Only yesterday I got through telling Noah that I didn’t believe in love anymore. I’m truly fine loving my daughter and my mother only. Just give me tonight to sulk.”
Chapter 17 - Ben
I Keep It Hid ~Alice Clark
“Alice! I’ve missed you, Daughter.”
“Dada! Hi!”
“I love that you can talk. Did you miss me?”
My baby girl bobbed her curly red head up and down. After a quick hug and kiss, she wanted to walk again. She waddled off to her room and Marni followed her without much more than a mumble resembling “Hi.”
“Hey.” I stopped her from what felt like an escape.
“Hey.”
“What’s up? How was Ali the past few days? I assume nothing out of the ordinary happened? Whatcha been up to?”
“Alice has been nonstop eating, sleeping, pooping, and playing. Life is one big party for her.” Marni explained all this with a forced smile. “All is well with you?” Now she spoke with a painful smile. Crazy thing—my heart hurt, not because I hurt, but because Marni hurt. Why was I feeling this, and why would Marni feel hurt? Had I done something to her again? “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing.” She played it off.
“It’s too early in the day for beer, wings and a heart-to-heart, and I’m also out of wings. Can you wait until tonight to talk?”
“Nothing to talk about, Ben. All is good.” All did not look good, but I wasn’t going to disagree.
I wished Marni would talk to me like she used to when we were younger. Our talks, even the difficult ones, comforted me. Perhaps after she had her swim tonight, she’d open up.
“Do we have plans today?”
“We?” Marni asked in surprise.
“Um, yeah. We, as in you, me, and Ali?”
“Ali is free.”
What the hell kind of answer was that? Was she trying to tell me she was busy? I hated this runaround. “And you are not?”
“What is it you want, Ben?” she asked in a pissy tone.
I was about to snap at her, but decided to play nice. For some reason, she was having a bad day. I could give her that.
“I thought since the day was nice, we’d make use of our Disneyland annual passes and go there for a few hours.”
