by Lynn Mann
This time, I squeezed harder with my lower leg, creating more lift, and then instantly pulled back even harder with my thighs. The front half of Infinity’s body lifted up and came back towards me, something I’d never felt before. Her chest opened more and she expressed pure, unadulterated joy. My friends roared with delight and I found myself overcome with Infinity’s emotion as well as my own.
‘Hang on Am, don’t drop her, thunder and lightning, don’t you drop her now,’ shouted Rowena. ‘Pull back further and see if you can help her to stop like that!’
Through tears and laughter, I asked my already screaming thigh muscles for more, leaning back in my saddle to add more leverage to my request for Infinity’s body to stay up and back off its front end while we slowed to a halt. We made it. I slid to the ground and landed on shaking legs. I looked at my horse and realised what we had done. She looked completely different from how she had ever looked before. Her front end now stood higher than her rump and her front legs almost appeared to be out in front of her. Her neck was arched and her blue eyes shone bluer than ever as she batted her long white lashes at me. I cried and I laughed, and as my friends joined me in a group hug I realised that their faces ran with tears also.
As I stood with my arm around my horse’s neck, watching my friends ride, I felt buoyant and more at peace with myself than ever I could remember. When we walked our horses back to their paddock, however, I noticed that Infinity’s posture gradually returned to what it had been before I rode her and sadness filled me.
Worry not. My body has neither the strength nor awareness to achieve balance without your body to support it but this we will achieve over time. Together. She was happy, so happy and my elation returned and remained with me all afternoon as I mopped floors.
As I tucked into my dinner, listening to Rowena telling Adam about what we had achieved with the horses that day, I still couldn’t wipe the smile from my face. I caught sight of Quinta standing with a plateful by the food table and waved her over, eager to tell her what she and Newson had missed — they had recently moved their horses to the paddock the far side of ours and sometimes brought their lunch out to eat while watching my friends and me ride. We felt that it was only a matter of time before they would ask to join us. Quinta grinned and began to make her way over. I turned back to my plate and had just loaded my fork with a large piece of buttery potato, when I felt it. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I wanted to squirm in my seat.
Fin?
Hunted! A surge of panic.
A plate smashed just behind me and Quinta screamed, ‘NOBLE! OH NO! NOT NOBLE, NOOOOOO! WOEFUL! WOEFUL ARE ATTACKING MY HORSE!’
I looked up to see Rowena’s face frozen in fear, her own fork held in mid-air as Oak’s frantic thoughts reached her. We both threw our forks down and ran, with Quinta close behind us. A shocked silence hung over the room as we ran for the door, followed by questioning voices which escalated to shouts. I could feel Infinity’s sheer, unadulterated panic and I nearly lost my mind. I ran blindly, not knowing what I could do but knowing that I needed to get to my mare as fast as I could.
‘Weapons!’ screamed Rowena. ‘We need weapons, get the shovels from the dung pits in the paddocks!’
I ran next to her, trying desperately to keep up as we slid on the ice. I could hear horses screaming in the distance now and could feel that Infinity raced around and around her paddock at break neck speed. She was alone! Where were the others? As I reached through the fence of the first paddock that we came to and grabbed a shovel, my question was answered. Hooves thundered on the ice and Gas appeared, ice chips flying in his wake, followed by Spider and then Oak, who had blood pouring down the front of his forelegs. They had jumped out of the paddock, leaving Infinity, who was smaller and not balanced enough to clear the fence, on her own.
‘OAK! OAK!’ shouted Rowena as he tore past her, but he was beyond reason. The whites of his eyes showed, his nostrils flared and sweat poured down his flanks. Rowena turned and began to run after him.
‘Let him go, he’s safe,’ I panted. ‘Infinity can’t get out, she’s on her own, please Rowena, please, HELP ME!’ I screamed the last few words as my panic levels rose to match Infinity’s.
Suddenly, a calm strength stole over me that I would never have known I possessed. My horse was in danger and I would save her. That was all there was to it. How I thought I might battle a Woeful, who stood over six feet in height and had toughened skin, fangs and slicing talons, with only a shovel, I have never managed to reconcile in my mind, but I knew absolutely and completely that I would save my horse or die trying. I drew a deep breath as I ran.
We passed more horses who had jumped out of their paddocks and were making their way towards the buildings, towards safety, and we had to run along the fence line so as not to get trampled. I ran on, adrenaline giving me the strength and endurance I needed. We were nearly there when Newson’s horse, Integrity, passed us, with a gash in her chest and numerous cuts on her front legs. She was lathered with sweat and lame on one of her hind legs but she flew past us in her terror.
All of a sudden, Quinta, who was running behind Rowena and me, let out a blood-curdling scream that shook me to my core. I will never forget that heart-wrenching noise as long as I live. ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOO!’ she screamed, ‘noooooo, Noble, no, please don’t go, please don’t, no, please don’t…’
I glanced behind me to see her sink to her knees. A largely built man caught up with her and crouched down by her side, pulling her against him and holding her head against his shoulder as she wailed her grief. Newson, Shann and Justin all tore past her, each carrying a shovel and I turned back to run to my horse, holding the horror of the situation away from me. I was going to save my horse. That was all there was to focus on. I would get to my horse.
Our paddock came into sight and time slowed down as I took in the scene in front of me. Three enormous, brown-pelted Woeful were climbing the far fence of Noble and Integrity’s paddock, with Noble’s black body hoisted onto their shoulders. Infinity was galloping around the perimeter of her paddock and yet another Woeful, this one even larger than the others and with black fur, gambolled awkwardly after her.
Fin, we’re here, just keep going a little longer, we’ll get him away from you, keep going my heart, just keep going!
She didn’t register my thoughts. I could feel her exhaustion. She had strained and torn multiple muscles from galloping so fast in a relatively tight space, and even that pain couldn’t penetrate the total fear and panic that overwhelmed her every sense.
It was a miracle she had managed to stay upright as long as she had, travelling over snow and ice at that speed and just as I climbed through the fence, I saw her slip. My heart lurched as I saw her trying to keep her feet underneath her. She made it; with a scrambling of legs she stayed on all four feet, but it was the chance that the Woeful had needed. He caught up with her as she fought to get a purchase on the ice to get herself moving again and just before she could galvanise her tired legs back into action, he leapt onto her back and brought her down.
‘NOOOOOOOOOOO!’ My scream rang in my ears and tore at my throat. ‘GET OFF HER! GET OFF! INFINITY! NOOOOOOOOO!’ I was running flat out with my shovel raised above my head. Running footsteps overtook me as Shann shot past, yelling at the top of his voice. I saw the Woeful lift his arm for the slash that would end my horse’s life. No. This couldn’t be happening. Not to Infinity. Not to me.
Shann reached them and brought his shovel down on the Woeful’s back. The Woeful’s knees buckled briefly under the impact and then he leapt off of my horse with astonishing agility and turned to face us. He was monstrous. Hunched in his posture as he was, he still towered over Shann and me and the huge fangs that protruded from his mouth were thick and yellow and dripped with saliva. He had long talons at the end of each of the hairy fingers that he flexed open and closed in readiness for the attack he anticipated. His face looked largely human, but was covered by a thin layer of fine, b
lack hair. His eyes were those of a cat. Green with slitted pupils, they broadcast his hunger and as his gaze met mine briefly, I felt it as if it were my own; he was starving, as were his mate and his youngling. He was desperate. Hungry, fearful and desperate.
Shann had already begun to bring his shovel down in a heavy swipe at the Woeful’s head but I saw the instant that he felt what I’d felt from the Woeful. Shann faltered and tried to take the power out of his swing but it was too late. The Woeful raised an arm and lashed out to defend himself, and I heard the break of Shann’s arm as the shovel was diverted from its target. The Woeful’s arm continued its swing and I saw a talon brush against Shann’s neck. The gash that opened sprayed thick red blood all over me and Infinity as Shann fell wordlessly, landing with the upper half of his torso on my horse. I looked back at the Woeful, stunned with shock and disbelief. I saw immense sadness in his eyes, before he turned and fled as more people arrived behind me.
I sank to my knees in a pool of blood beside Shann’s lifeless body. Infinity lay unmoving on the ground in front of me; a tangled mess of white, black, red and the purple of her rug. Someone screamed, I think it was Rowena. I was aware of people shouting everywhere and Shann’s body was pulled away from where it had fallen. Broad hands clasped my shoulders and I heard Justin’s shaking voice behind me saying, ‘Am are you hurt? Amarilla?’
I couldn’t speak. Infinity? I ventured. Nothing. I felt for her in my mind. Nothing. I could feel my mind slipping away from me in despair but caught hold of it and anchored it firmly. My horse needed me — at the moment, that was all that mattered. Everything I wanted to feel, to think about, to try and make sense of, would have to wait. I saw my trembling hand reach out in front of me and touch her through a rip in her rug. I closed my eyes and tuned into her body. Her heart was beating weakly, but it was beating. The relief that washed over me with that realisation was nearly enough for me to lose my concentration, but I grabbed hold of it before it fled, and began a careful inventory of her body. I was suddenly aware that her life force was slipping away. But why? How? Justin’s hands still rested on my shoulders and I was glad of their strength.
Help… not time to leave… need your help, Infinity mustered all of her strength to focus her thoughts to me, and then slid back into unconsciousness.
I fought away dread and consternation and refocused. If I didn’t find the critical injury very soon, it would become a fatal one and I knew I didn’t have the time to scan her whole body in depth before I would lose her. What to do, oh if only she could tell me what to do.
I felt the weakest breath of a whisper in my mind and to this day I couldn’t say for sure whether it originated with Infinity or me. We are one… trust yourself.
I brought my awareness back to my own body. Where is it? I asked myself. And I knew. Her life force was leaking out of the underside of her neck; I could feel it as if it were happening to me. Immediately, I tuned back into her body, to the area I now knew needed my immediate attention. She was lying on a gash caused when the Woeful had clung to her as he brought her to the ground. His talons had slashed through one side of an artery, which was now pumping her blood onto the snow.
I began to hum. The vibration of the noise I made resonated exactly with the damaged artery wall. I sent my intention of knitting the damaged tissue together down the path created by my humming and then as the tissue of the artery wall came along with my intention and began to heal, I gradually changed the hum to one that was smoother and more high-pitched. I put everything into my humming; my profound love for my mare, my energy, my pure, solid intention that she would heal, that she would live. I changed my humming once more, softer now, and the artery wall strengthened until it was fully healthy. The main bleed stopped. I tuned into Infinity’s heart, which still beat its weak but steady rhythm. I moved on. Three of her ribs were broken. I was just composing myself to sing them back to wholeness when Feryl’s voice interrupted me.
‘Right now, everyone, stand aside, you too Amarilla, I’ve organised the Healers, we’ll just move Infinity into the field shelter and then they can get to work. Come along now, Amarilla, she’ll be in the best hands, up you get, move away now.’
Justin’s hands squeezed my shoulders more tightly, but I brushed them aside and stood up to face Feryl. ‘You get away from me and get away from my horse,’ I spat at him.
‘Amarilla I’m here to help, someone needs to organise this chaos into some sort of recovery…’
‘And you think that person is you, do you? You, who thinks he has all the answers, you who won’t listen to a word anyone else has to say, you, whose fault it is that our horses were in this paddock in the first place?’
‘Well, I…’
‘How dare you take it upon yourself to tell me what’s best for my horse when you haven’t the first clue of what she needs? You need to get away from us Feryl, and you need to do it RIGHT NOW, AND TAKE ALL OF YOUR SYCOPHANTIC CRONIES WITH YOU!’
Feryl gaped at me in shock before turning and walking away.
‘Way to go Amarilla!’ Justin said quietly. ‘Can I help at all?’
‘I don’t know,’ I mumbled. ‘She’s got broken ribs and torn muscles and I haven’t even done a complete inventory of her body yet. She’s weak and I have to get to work.’
I dropped back down to my knees, shivering and concentrated on calming myself down in preparation for singing Infinity’s ribs back to wholeness. I was aware of Justin organising people around me. ‘Please could someone run and get some blankets for Amarilla and Infinity, and something to make a stretcher to roll Infinity onto? She can’t stay out in the weather all night. Has Adam gone back with Rowena and, well, you know, Shann?’ His voice broke. ‘Okay well he’ll look after her. Where are the Healers, can anyone...’
I tuned in to the first of Infinity’s damaged ribs. The broken bone screamed its disharmony to the energetic world, and I soon found the exact droning tone with which it resonated. I sent my intention along the pathway of sound, willing the bone to become whole once more. As I felt it respond, I adjusted the droning noise from a nasal to a smoother tone, encouraging the rib to come along with me and strengthen. I was so, so tired. The terror for my horse, shock at what had befallen Noble and Shann and fear that I would fail my horse were all taking their toll on me.
A hand rested gently on my shoulder and Holly’s voice whispered into my ear. ‘I’m not interfering Amarilla, I’ll follow your lead, I’m just lending you my strength. Okay?’
I nodded and then felt a foreign energy feeling its way around the intention I was sending to Infinity’s rib. Holly added her voice to mine and I felt her intention resonate completely and utterly with my own, amplifying it. The first rib quickly reached full strength and I began to heal the second, taking Holly with me.
A hand appeared on my other shoulder and a voice I didn’t recognise asked permission to join his strength to Holly’s and mine. I nodded and the second and third ribs were healed in no time. The hands remained on my shoulders while I searched through Infinity’s body for any more broken bones. A cracked spineous process was swiftly dealt with and then, mercifully, I could find no more bones that broadcast anything but health and vitality.
I opened my eyes and thanked Holly and the man, whom I recognised as the one who had comforted Quinta. He introduced himself as Marvel.
I was so cold but I had so much more to do. I composed myself and tuned back in with Infinity’s body. The bones inside the hooves of her two hind feet had twisted around, tearing all of the connective tissue that held them to the hoof capsule — I could see in my mind the spin around of her body while her hooves remained stuck in the snow, which had caused the terrible injury. Multiple tendons, ligaments and muscles were torn and each would need singing back to health, and the list of muscles that were bunched and strained to their limits was endless. They would be easier to heal as they didn’t need knitting back together, merely reminding how to relax back to their normal state of being.
‘Thank you, that would be great, she’s badly injured,’ I said.
‘Where are you going to start?’
‘Her feet. Ready?’
Thuma nodded and rested her hand on my knee. As I tuned into the first of the damaged tissues and began to whistle through my teeth, she added her whistle and joined her intention with mine.
At some point, blankets were piled on my shoulders and on top of my hands as they rested on my horse’s side. A fire was built up nearby and a tiny part of me was aware that my discomfort at the cold was lessening.
Thuma and I had healed both feet and had begun work on Infinity’s back muscles when Thuma squeezed my knee in warning before another added her strength to ours. I nodded gratefully, but could spare no more attention than that for the new Healer. Two more Healers added their strength shortly after as we worked into the night.
At one point a different energy arrived to add strength to our efforts. I was just encouraging a tendon to come along the path my intention was showing it, when I was aware of a low level, constant source of energy that was available both to me and the other Healers, and to Infinity. It reminded me of Infinity and as I allowed a small part of my mind to wonder at it, I decided that it was love. The horses had arrived to help.
We healed everything apart from some surface wounds where skin was missing, which would need attention from a Herbalist. The irony wasn’t lost on me that after having done all of the healing for which I had no training, I would have to ask Adam to help with the part for which I was almost qualified to perform; I was exhausted. I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings.
Someone sat next to the fire that blazed nearby, feeding it with sticks and poking the embers constantly as if trying to give it the will to stay alight. Lanterns surrounded Infinity as she lay, still unconscious, on the ground. There were four people to the side of me, all wrapped in blankets, who were beginning to stretch and rise to their feet — my fellow Healers. Over on the far side of the fire sat another group of people and with them stood the horses who had supported our healing. Oak stood closest to the fire, with white unguent coating the front of his forelegs. Gas stood next to him and then just behind I could make out Spider, Diligence, Integrity and two other horses I had never seen before. Poor Spider, his human was dead and yet here he was, helping Infinity and me. I thanked them all silently and each one whickered to me in response. I stood up and thanked the Tissue-Singers for their help.
