by Lynn Mann
‘Sorry about the shouting, but there were some things that needed to be said,’ I said. ‘Infinity’s fine, just tired.’
‘I’m not surprised she’s tired, took me and Dili by surprise, she did, steamin’ off like that, can’t say we didn’t enjoy the race though, we’ve not run like that for many a year!’
Justin came in. ‘Well I think it’s safe to say that Gas is feeling good, he’s normally pretty quick but pheweeeee, we’ve never been that fast before! And it was so much smoother when he needed to slow down, a slight pull back with my thighs and he slowed down in balance, instead of feeling like he’s going to fall on his nose like he used to, he’s seriously pleased with himself and with me! And you should have heard Adam, he’s never been that fast before as Peace was so much heavier than Spider, he was yelling and whooping the whole way!’
I grinned. ‘That’s great Jus, um, did Rowena and Oak pass you on your way back?’
‘Yes, but they didn’t stop for a chat, not that I really expected Rowena to. She had a face like thunder, and Oak looks terrible. I’m starting to think that maybe we ought to try and have a talk to her.’
‘One step ahead of you,’ I said and told him what had happened.
‘Blimey, you weren’t in the mood to hold back, at least you managed to stay on your feet this time!’ he said.
‘Do you think she’ll come back and join us?’ I asked.
‘Who knows, but you managed to subdue Feryl with that tongue of yours, so hopefully you’ve got through to Rowena!’
I carried on working with Infinity from the ground for the next few days, as her muscles ached after her wild canter along the river bank.
Oak and Cloud In The Storm rejoin us, I was informed as Infinity circled me one afternoon. I saw that the others had congregated around Oak and Rowena.
Cloud In The Storm? You call Rowena that?
No response.
Realisation dawned. Oak calls her that. Why have you told me?
Oak requested help with his Bond-Partner. This will help.
How will it help?
Patience and compassion arise from understanding.
???????? My brow furrowed. Cloud in The Storm? I tried to remember what I’d learnt about storms at school. I visualised storm clouds forming in an area of low pressure, as a result of high pressure on all sides. The resulting clouds were then hurled around in the high winds, discharging part of themselves at intervals as thunder and lightning raged around them, only to be broken up and dispersed once the energy of the storm was spent. I understood.
Feeling nervous, I followed Infinity over to where everyone was gathered. I breathed deeply and surrounded myself with more light, and by the time we reached our friends, I was feeling calmer.
‘Well we’re all thrilled you’re here,’ Marvel was saying to Rowena. ‘I’ve heard how well you and Oak were doing and Broad and I could do with some sensible help, you’ve no idea what a struggle it’s been having to find our way with only this lot to guide us!’
Justin and Quinta booed him playfully and Justin retorted, ‘Ro you’re welcome to him, see if you can get him to quieten down, will you, the rest of us can hardly think with all his hollering and yelling!’
Marvel dipped his head with a smile.
‘Right, well, let’s carry on then, shall we?’ said Quinta. ‘Amarilla, Rowena and Oak are going to watch today so they can see where we’ve all got to. Okay?’
I nodded and smiled at her, and then everyone peeled away, leaving just me, Infinity, Rowena and Oak. It seemed as if we stood there forever with Rowena and me looking everywhere except at each other.
‘I’m sorry I hit you,’ she said at the exact moment I said, ‘It’s good to have you back.’ We both hesitated. ‘It’s okay,’ I said at the same time she said, ‘Thank you.’ We both laughed nervously.
Rowena said, ‘Am, everything you said, you were right and I’m sorry. I’ve just been finding it so hard.’
‘I know. Look, I know Marvel wants you to help him, but why don’t you come over and see what Fin and I have been doing first?’
She smiled and nodded. I glanced at Oak and was relieved to see his eyes looking softer than the last time I’d seen him. Infinity’s revelation as to the name Oak used for Rowena stabbed at me.
‘Rowena before we start, I know the name Oak uses for you and as I know that, it’s only fair that you know that Fin calls me Walks A Straight Path.’
Rowena chuckled. ‘Well I can see where that comes from. It’s probably not hard to see why Oak chose Cloud In The Storm for me? I suppose Infinity told you?’
‘Yes, she did. She seems to think it will help.’
‘Help? With what?’
‘Me being more patient and compassionate, apparently!’
We both laughed and some of the awkwardness between us lifted.
‘Hey Rowena, where are you going? I thought you were going to… Ouch!’
‘Oops sorry Marvel, I didn’t mean to pass that close to you, Spider sort of slipped,’ Quinta said. ‘Now can you come over here with me and show me how you and Broad managed to go from trot to canter without the trot speeding up first? I think my timing’s a bit off.’
We laughed even louder and I made a mental note to thank Quinta for her diplomacy later.
‘Men!’ said Rowena.
‘Men!’ I agreed, as Justin passed us and winked at me.
The following morning, as I mucked out the field shelter alongside Mason and Quinta, Infinity announced that she was ready to be ridden. My heart sang. I didn’t think I’d be able to focus on anything meaningful that morning, so I explained to Adam that I felt I should sit out of the patient consultations with which I was meant to be assisting. He agreed and set me the boring job of re-ordering his filing system. I tried to concentrate as I sorted Adam’s patient files into alphabetical order whilst updating the list of which patients were taking which herbs, so that we could ensure we kept enough in stock. As the morning went on, I began to notice something strange.
Adam was meticulous in noting down exactly which herbs in which amounts he was prescribing, even for very common ailments where he must have prescribed the same herbs and doses a thousand times over. In addition to prescribing the herbs with which I was familiar for some of the conditions, he was prescribing the leaves of suncatcher, a very common herb for which I had never been able to find a use. Why was he doing that, when he was already prescribing the herbs which would heal the various conditions? I frowned to myself, wishing that I had worked closely with him more regularly, so that I might have picked up on this before.
A thought occurred to me, immediately followed by a surge of guilt. Should I re-test suncatcher for use with the outstanding ailments that I had? I knew I’d already tested it, but maybe I should try harder with it, maybe there was something that I’d missed? But that would be cheating, taking a hint from his patient notes when I was meant to be making my discoveries by myself.
Infinity made her disapproval known. Choose to feel differently.
I was interested that she had no concerns about me cheating, only about me feeling guilty about it.
Everything happens as it should. Did that come from me or from her? I wasn’t sure, but I remembered that I believed it. I had stumbled across this information for a reason and guilt had no place in the proceedings. I pushed it to one side and chose to focus, noting Infinity’s approval.
There would be dried suncatcher leaves in the store room but I wanted a fresh sample, which would be easier to tune into. I rushed out of my room and ran full pelt out of the square, scanning the verges as I ran, for the long-lobed leaves of suncatcher. There! I pulled at a few and then ran back to my study room, my anticipation building.
I put the leaves on my desk and then took deep, even breaths as I cleared my mind. My awareness sought and found the leaves. I conjured up the feeling of tired alertness typical of insomnia and took it to the leaves. Nothing. No lessening of the symptoms whatsoever. Frustration cre
pt into my mind and I withdrew my awareness from the leaves. I hadn’t really expected it to work, had I? Having tested all of the commonly growing herbs for the potential to help with insomnia already, had I really expected that suncatcher’s ability to help would have changed just because I knew Adam had found something unique in it?
Infinity increased her presence in my mind.
Fin? What is it?
She offered no assistance, yet she seemed keen that I continue along the route my thoughts were taking me. What had I been thinking when she showed interest? I was pondering my insanity in thinking that the potential healing power of suncatcher could have changed because it had captured Adam’s interest. Infinity caught hold of that thought and held it in my mind, refusing to let me move past it. When it felt as if the thought was actually a physical part of my body, Infinity let go.
AAARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!! Flaming lanterns Fin, what are you trying to do? Drive me mad? I sat holding my head in both hands.
No response, just a feeling of intense satisfaction. She made her presence smaller in my mind again, giving me space to mull things over. The healing ability of a herb could change as the result of attention from a Herbalist? How? I’d given my attention to hundreds of herbs now but had only ever picked up the healing ability that was already present within them. What had Adam discovered? I thought back to when Justin and I had witnessed him using tree-singing to affect some potted plants. He hadn’t sung though, had he? He said that he had, but just not out loud. He’d obviously found some way of just tuning in to them with his mind and then affecting them with intention alone. It felt as though something had dropped into my body and plummeted all the way down to my feet. Intention? Was that it? The healing power of suncatcher had changed as a result not of just Adam’s attention but his intention?
Infinity’s jubilation rang around in my whole being as the thought settled into my mind. Suncatcher could carry the intention of a person who tuned into it? How was that possible?
Everything is connected. Nothing can avoid being affected by an observer, Infinity volunteered.
But what about all the other herbs that are already useful to us in healing? I didn’t create their abilities to heal, did I? I only discovered them, as have hundreds of Herbalists before me.
There is little difference between discovery and creation.
WHAT?????????? How can that be? Something has to be there already for me to discover it!
Your certainty comes from your beliefs and nothing more.
My mind reeled. Was my horse actually trying to tell me that when I thought I’d discovered something, I’d actually just created it?
I do not merely try. You will need to allow this to settle in your mind.
Hold on, Fin, I can’t just accept this like I do with everything else, are you saying that I created Rowena? Oak? Adam? How is that possible?
Everyone and everything is connected. We all dream the same dream.
You can’t answer one riddle with another one. what do you mean?
Infinity diverted her attention to grooming with Dili.
I sat for what seemed like days, trying to make sense of everything that I’d learnt that morning, with no success. When I heard the gong for lunch, the thought that it would soon be time to ride Infinity shot through my mind.
Fin? If I create everything I come across, then surely I can just create you in a better balance and we won’t need to work to achieve it this afternoon?
We all dream the same dream.
I wished I hadn’t asked.
Twenty-Three
Threshold
Adam’s door was shut as I passed it on my way to lunch, indicating that he was still with a patient, so I went on without him. The others were already seated at a table and I was thrilled to see that Rowena had joined them.
‘They still haven’t agreed how best to go about killing a Woeful, that’s the only thing holding them here now,’ Rowena was saying. ‘None of their horses will agree to go, so they’ve built litters they can drag behind them to carry their stuff, and they’ve been gathering food supplies. Some of them want to use weapons against the Woeful but others think it would be best to use tissue-singing to kill them.’
‘WHAT?’ thundered Marvel. ‘The Skills should NEVER be used that way and for any Healer to even consider it is an abomination! Ro, I had no idea that’s what they were considering and they’ll do it over my dead body!’
‘Have they gone mad?’ I said.
Quinta said, ‘they’re not mad, just frightened. There’s really no predicting what they’re capable of.’
‘On the bright side, some of the Healers have dropped out of plans for the hunt since you told them all what for in the dining hall Am,’ said Rowena, ‘but the others are willing to try anything to get rid of the Woeful and prevent what happened “that day” from happening again.’
‘I don’t understand how people who are Horse-Bonded can have so completely lost the plot,’ I replied. ‘They’ve always listened to their horses and been able to calm villagers talking of a hunt in the past, why won’t they listen to their horses this time?’
Mason sighed. ‘Because this time it was a direct attack on a settlement, not just a chance encounter in the woods. And this time a horse died. Not just any horse neither, but a horse that was bonded to one of us. They don’t feel safe here and they fear their horses being taken from them. It’s stripped them of all reason and I have to admit that I understand how they feel. The thought of my Dili being savaged… oh Quinta, I’m sorry, you too little Am.’
‘Two horses died, actually, and two people,’ said Rowena.
‘So, they’re terrified of losing their horses to the Woeful but they’re quite happy to see them looking dreadful as a result of their own thoughts and actions,’ I said bitterly and then felt heat in my cheeks. ‘Rowena, sorry.’
Marvel chuckled. ‘Well we’re a sorry crew, aren’t we? Can’t speak without offending someone, you know the horses have the right of it, a dirty look or at worst a bite or a kick and then it’s all over and forgotten!’
‘Well Rowena’s already tried that approach but Am just got up and carried on,’ grinned Justin.
Marvel guffawed. ‘That’s the spirit! Who wants to go next? Come on now, don’t be shy, let’s really cause some offence!’
‘It’s hard to say who resembles a pea on a mountain more when they ride, Quinta on Spider or Amarilla on Dili!’ chuckled Mason.
‘Well at least neither of us blow the leaves off the trees with our sighs just because we didn’t get a perfect walk to trot transition,’ countered Quinta and Marvel slapped his hand on the table, laughing heartily.
Rowena smiled. ‘I don’t know what you’re laughing about Marvel, I’ve never seen anyone faff around like you do, the rest of us have groomed, saddled up and been out for an hour’s ride and you’re still adjusting Broad’s saddle pad so it sits in the perfect spot! And I’m glad you can laugh too Amarilla, The Gathering’s biggest troublemaker and owner of the world’s toughest jaw, you nearly broke my hand!’
‘Well it’s marvellous to hear all this hilarity, it seems I’ve arrived not a moment too soon!’ said Adam. ‘Might I be included in the joke?’
‘Oh Adam, you’re going to wish you hadn’t said that,’ I said.
Justin said, ‘Adam my dear, you’ve nearly missed lunch, come along now, eat up and then we’ll all hurry along to the riding paddock, shall we, that’s right, because it won’t be a proper session without you, move up a little Amarilla please, so Adam can sit down, that’s the way!’
Adam chortled. ‘Well I think I might just do that, Justin and might I suggest that you eat more slowly. Inhaling food the way you do while jigging around in your chair is enough to give anyone indigestion — I’m beginning to think there’s very little that’s deep about where Gas got his name from!’
Justin saluted, laughing.
The rest of the diners in the hall were silently watching us.
‘No hilarity allowed in here, this is a place of fear and anger,’ whispered Marvel, shaking a finger at all of us in mock reproach.
‘Well at least if they’re wondering what we have to laugh about, they’re not deciding how to kill Woeful,’ said Rowena, bringing us all back down to earth with a bump.
My hands shook as I saddled and bridled Infinity and I couldn’t seem to stop talking. ‘Thank goodness the canopies are still up, otherwise Infinity might have found it a bit slippery. Have the Weather-Singers said yet which day we need to bring them down? Is Oak going to help again? He was great when we put them up, wasn’t he? Where’s Adam? I thought he was coming as soon as he’d finished eating, do you think he’ll be long? Should we wait for him?’
‘Amarilla, Adam’s more than capable of making his way up to find us by himself, I think it’s time to face the fact that you’ve run out of reasons to loiter here and you need to just come and ride your horse!’ said Justin.
Balks From What Is perceives with accuracy, Infinity informed me.
‘Balks from…?’ Are you intending to tell me the names that all the Bonded are called by their horses? What’s going on Fin?
Your group of humans has reached a stage where more information will enable you to be of more help to one another. Should they deem it helpful the other horses will now provide their Bond-Partners with the same information about you.
I nodded. Justin turned his head to the side and half closed his eye, still smiling at me. He knew. Well at least I’d been distracted long enough from my nervousness that I felt a bit calmer, I realised as Infinity and I set off at the back of the group.
There is nothing to fear.
Oh Fin, I’m just worried I won’t be able to do as well as the last time I rode you because it was ages ago and I’ve been riding Dili and she’s so different from you, what if I get my timing all wrong and you fall? Maybe I just think I’m a better rider now because Dili doesn’t need as much help from me as you do, maybe we should wait a bit longer before I ride you again?
