It Started One Christmas

by Susan Mallery

  “Orange County?” she asked, then felt her mouth drop open. “No!”

  He winked. “You know it.”

  “Really? We’re going to Disneyland?”

  “Keira, you’ve been through a sucky experience, and for reasons not clear to me, you love Disneyland at Christmas more than anyone I know. We’re going to take a couple of days to have fun and get you over stupid Hugh, then come back and enjoy Christmas. I called Callie and asked what she thought. She was all in and put the whole thing together. You have a hell of a family. I hope you appreciate them.”

  “I do.” Her eyes burned, but this time with happy tears. Yes, Hugh was a stupid, thoughtless, panting idiot, but she had so much love in her life. Her sister, her brother, her in-laws and niece and nephews and Dalton.

  “You’re really going to Disneyland with me?” she asked. “You’d do that for me?”

  He pushed up his glasses as he smiled. “I’d do just about anything for you, Keira. Don’t you know that by now?”

  She flung herself at him and hung on tight. “Thank you.” She drew back. “Have you been? Have you been at Christmas? It’s amazing. They decorate the Jungle Cruise. It’s all so great. We have to do It’s a Small World. It’s beautiful, and yes, you get the song stuck in your head, but it’s so worth it. I can’t believe you did this for me. I can’t believe Callie did it.” She jumped in place. “We’re going to Disneyland!”

  * * *

  KEIRA’S EXUBERANCE LASTED through the two-and-a-half-hour plane trip and the taxi ride to the hotel. She couldn’t believe it when they stopped in front of the Grand Californian.

  “How did Callie get us rooms here?” Keira asked, trying not to squeal with excitement. “There must have been a last-minute cancellation. I hope whoever was supposed to come is okay.” She grabbed Dalton’s hand. “Are you excited?”

  He grinned. “So much so I can barely speak.”

  “Oh, mock me all you want. This is going to be so great.”

  They checked in. On the way up to their room, she had the brief, slightly uneasy thought that she didn’t know what their sleeping arrangements were going to be. For all her happiness right now, she had a bad feeling she was going to be sobbing in her pillow once she went to bed and didn’t think Dalton would appreciate being kept awake by her Hugh pain all night.

  But the magic of the unexpected trip continued. Callie had booked a two-bedroom suite complete with a comfortable living room between the two bedrooms. Keira was going to be free to sob in privacy.

  They tossed their suitcases in their rooms, then Keira dragged Dalton over to the park. Their first stop was to the Blue Bayou restaurant, where they managed to snag a six thirty reservation, then they did a quick mini tour of her favorites including Big Thunder, the Haunted Mansion and finishing with the holiday version of It’s a Small World before dinner. They arrived at the restaurant with three minutes to spare.

  “Admit it,” she said when they’d been seated. “You’re having a good time.”

  “I always have a good time with you,” he told her. “The more important thing is that you’re having a good time.”

  She smiled. “I am. This was really thoughtful, and not at all how you wanted to spend your holiday.”

  One shoulder rose and lowered. “I’ve never been to Disneyland before. Now I have.”

  Never been? Never been! She wanted to say that was horrible but knew that would make Dalton feel bad. Instead she vowed to make sure the next day and a half were the best ever.

  “I’ll come up with a plan for tomorrow,” she promised. “The weather is perfect.” Sunny and in the high sixties. Unlike Seattle, where right now it was forty-two degrees with driving rain.

  Their server took their drink orders. When she left, Dalton leaned toward Keira and took her hand in his.

  “Tell me about Hugh.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Do I have to?”

  “I think it will help.”

  “Fine. I met him at a party. He seemed nice and totally into me, which he was obviously lying about.” Or she really was a horrible girlfriend, and while he’d liked her at the beginning, he sure hadn’t liked her at the end.

  “I asked around, and he didn’t have a reputation for being a—”

  “Total idiot, cheating, weasel butt?” Dalton offered.

  “Yeah, that.” She sighed. “I don’t know. I liked him, and I liked being a couple more than I thought I would, but he hurt me.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. He was wrong and stupid, and I’m sorry he acted like this.”

  She stared into his brown eyes. “Why do guys cheat?”

  “I honestly don’t know. They have something to prove, or they’re lying about caring in the first place. Sometimes it’s about insecurity.”

  Their server appeared with their drinks. Dalton had a beer, and Keira had requested a glass of white wine. They touched glasses.

  “Not all guys cheat,” he said.

  “I know. Malcolm never would, or Santiago. You don’t. I just picked badly.”

  “You’ll do better next time.”

  “Ha. If there is a next time.”

  He smiled at her. “There will be.”

  She glanced at Dalton then away. She liked him a lot. He was great. If only he wanted...but he didn’t. He’d made that clear many, many, many times. They were friends, and she loved that. But every now and then, she wished she were his type.

  “So the beautiful thing. What’s up with that?” she asked.

  She’d asked the question before, and he always gave her a flippant answer. Usually something about how he was so smart, it only made sense he would go for the best. But this time, he surprised her by saying, “Maybe I’m avoiding commitment.”

  “What?”

  “My career path means moving around a lot. Fellowships and research grants. It will be a couple of years before I actually settle down.”

  “In Seattle,” she said firmly. “We’ve talked about this. You are going to take a job in Seattle.”

  He touched her hand again. “We’ll see.”

  “I hate it when you say that. I’m not a kid asking for a toy.” She sipped her wine. “You think you’re avoiding anything serious because you don’t want to have to choose?”

  “Something like that. And I can be just as stupid as the next guy. I pick relationships that are destined to fail. But while they last, they are wonderful.”

  “Plus, you get to show off your girlfriend to everyone.” The topic was more depressing than she’d anticipated. “Maybe I wasn’t pretty enough for Hugh.”

  “You were a thousand times better than he deserved.”

  Their server came over, and they placed their orders. Dinner conversation shifted to catching up on what the other had been doing and their holiday plans when they got back to Seattle. It was nearly ten when they made their way back to their suite. But instead of going to their respective rooms, they sprawled out on the sofa.

  Dalton studied her. “Why Hugh?”

  “You mean after listening to me talk about how I was never going to get involved for three years, why did I finally decide it was time?”

  “Something like that.”

  “I don’t know. I guess I’m running out of excuses. It was either get involved or be scared forever.”

  She half expected him to say something, but Dalton was only quiet. She shifted so her legs tangled with his and leaned the side of her head against the back of the sofa.

  “My mom made it clear I was nothing but a burden. She would get so mad at me that I would hide so she couldn’t hit me. Then she would find a guy and she would be the perfect mom.”

  “To impress him.”

  She nodded. “Then when my dad stopped sending money, she was mad again, and things got bad. There wasn’t always food. She would disappear for days at
a time. I was scared but also relieved. It was like that for a long time, and then one day she never came back.”

  “That’s when you moved in with Angelina?”

  “It was. Angelina was funny and kind and had a great fashion sense, but I was never sure how long I could stay there, either. I guess in my gut I knew it was temporary, and then my mom died and social services came looking for me.”

  She picked at a loose thread on her sweater. “Foster care was hard. I was so scared, and I didn’t know the rules. There were four foster kids. I was the youngest. I shared a room with Melanie. She was fourteen and really pretty. She was nice to me. She’d been in foster care for six years and knew what to do. She taught me a lot.”

  She raised her head and looked at him. “One of the older guys—Christopher—raped her in the bathroom. It was horrible. I heard screaming, but she told me after she was fine. The police came and they took him away. Melanie was never the same after that. Before I could figure out what was what, Malcolm showed up.”

  Dalton swore under his breath. “Why didn’t you ever tell me what had happened to you?”

  “I didn’t want you to know I was broken.”

  “You’re not broken, Keira. You’ve been through a lot.”

  “I guess. I mean, I wasn’t raped. Christopher never even knew I was alive. I was only twelve.” Or maybe she’d been next on his list—something she didn’t want to think about.

  “It took a long time for me to feel comfortable with my new family,” she continued. “I had some things to sort out. Malcolm and I didn’t exactly get along at first, but then he mellowed and Callie came and we figured it out. But even then, when I was twelve and thirteen, I always said I didn’t want to get married or have a boyfriend. I guess it was my way of processing the fear.”

  She looked at him. “That’s why I waited. I’ve been battling that stupid fear while wanting to be like everyone else. Normalcy won, except I chose Hugh.”

  Dalton shifted so he could wrap his arms around her. “I’m sorry he was such a jerk. Not all guys are like that.”

  “I want to believe that, but I’m not sure.”

  She felt safe in his embrace. Safe and protected and loved. As friends, she reminded herself. But maybe it was better to be friends with Dalton than lovers with anyone else. Seriously, with the panting and the “Oh, baby, baby,” why bother with sex?

  He drew back. “What?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “You’re thinking about something. What is it?”

  She scooted back a little and grinned. “Okay, I guess you’re the best person to ask. After all, you’re an expert.”

  He groaned. “Is this a medical question? I’m not in practice, and I’ve been researching cancer for the past three years. I’m not comfortable diagnosing—”

  “My question is about sex.”

  “Oh.” His expression brightened. “I like that you think I’m an expert. Question away.”

  “What’s with the panting?”

  He frowned. “Excuse me?”

  “The panting. Do men have to pant, because it’s not sexy. And do you really lose all your strength at the end, because that whole body drop is quite the slam.”

  He couldn’t have looked more confused if she’d morphed into a talking toucan. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “I’m talking about sex. With the panting and the...” Oh, no. No! Was it really that simple? Was Hugh awful in bed? Had she been duped?

  “He panted?” Dalton asked, his lips twitching as if he were trying not to laugh.

  “Shut up, and yes. He also yelled, ‘Oh, baby, baby,’ over and over again. Then he was finished and he literally collapsed on me like a rock.”

  Dalton cleared his throat. “It’s not supposed to be like that. I assume the event was, ah, brief.”

  “Less than a minute.”

  “Did he take care of you before or after?”

  Keira felt heat on her cheeks. “Okay, we are done with this conversation.” Being unsatisfied was one thing, but being pitied was another.

  “He didn’t—”

  She got up and started for her room. “No,” she yelled over her shoulder and started to close the door behind her.

  Only Dalton got there first and stopped her. “Keira, it’s not your fault. I assume he knew you were a virgin?”

  “I mentioned it, yes.” Hugh had been delighted and promised to be gentle. Which she guessed he had been, but still. Yuck.

  “You need to find someone who knows what he’s doing,” Dalton told her. “Sex should be fun and comfortable and mind-blowing, all at the same time.”

  Not possible, she thought bitterly. How was she supposed to know if someone was good or not? Even more significant, how was she supposed to trust anyone not to mess her up even more? Hugh had been a disaster, and then he’d gone panting with someone else. She felt small and stupid and scared. How was she ever going to find her way to normal if the men she encountered kept—

  “What about you?” she asked, speaking as the thought popped into her mind.

  Dalton blinked at her. “Excuse me?”

  “Let’s have sex. You know what you’re doing. You’re my friend, so you’ll treat me right. You can show me what I’ve been missing, what I should look for in a guy.”

  The idea took hold in her mind and wouldn’t let go. “It’s the perfect solution. People sleep with their friends all the time. We’ll hook up. It won’t mean anything emotional. Why not? We always have fun together, and I won’t mind you telling me what to do.”

  Dalton took a step back. “That is not a good idea.”

  “It is.” She smiled. “I know what you’re thinking.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “You’re worried that I’ll get all clingy and think we’re in love. I won’t, I swear. I will be appreciative, but I won’t fall for you. I promise. It will be just like it’s always been between us.” She grinned. “Think of it as a practical lab assignment with a very happy ending.”

  Emotions chased across his face. She had no idea what he was thinking, but it didn’t look good for her.

  “Keira,” he began, his voice gentle.

  She stomped her foot. Not her most mature moment, but at least her reaction was honest.

  “No! You can’t turn me down. You can’t. Dalton, please. I trust you. Do you really want to send me out into the world to be tortured and dumped by another Hugh? Is that fair? Friends don’t let friends have bad sex.” She softened her tone. “Please? This is really important to me.”

  His gaze moved from her face. “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

  “Not at all. I’m trying to—”

  Oops. Pressure him. She was trying to guilt and coerce him into having sex with her.

  “Oh, no!” She slapped her hand over her mouth. “I’m a horrible person. Dalton, I’m sorry. You said no and I didn’t stop asking. That’s wrong, isn’t it? I mean, just because you’re the guy doesn’t mean you don’t get to be skittish.”

  His gaze locked back on her face and his eyebrows rose. “I’m not skittish.”

  “I don’t mean it in a bad way. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have pressured you. It’s okay. We’re friends, and while I don’t understand why you’re willing to have sex with every beautiful girl on the planet and not one of your closest friends, I get that no means no.” She sighed. “I will love you forever,” she said. “I swear. You’re one of my best friends, and I want us always to be close. I’m not sorry I asked, but I am sorry I upset you.”

  She leaned against the entrance to her bedroom. “You have a medical degree. Are there any instructional videos or something I could watch? I’d do a search online, but I’m not interested in scary porn popping up. I walked in on a couple of guys watching porn last ye
ar, and it was horrifying. No penis should be that large. It’s not natural. You’d have to have like five kids before anything that massive was comfortable. Plus, what’s with watching the—” she held up her fingers in air quotes “—’money shot’ at the end? What’s the thrill of watching some other guy get off? I find the whole concept confusing, but then I’ve only ever been with Hugh, the panter.”

  Dalton groaned low in his throat. “You are killing me.”

  “Why? I said I was sorry.”

  He took a step toward her, then walked away only to return again and stand in front of her.

  “Ground rules are required.”

  Hope fluttered, along with some very intrigued nerve endings deep in her belly.

  “For?”

  “Sex.”

  She did her best not to smile. “Yes, ground rules are an excellent idea. Such as?”

  “Are you on birth control?”

  “I wouldn’t have done it without being careful. As if.”

  “Is that a yes?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Dalton, I’m on birth control.”

  His gaze was steady and still incredibly unreadable. When had he become Mr. Inscrutable?

  “If we do this,” he began.

  “I know,” she interrupted. “It would be for a specific period of time. Like tonight and tomorrow. Oh, just while we’re here. But once we leave, we’re done with sex. We return to our regular relationship where we are the best of friends and totally supportive of each other. I promise to chide you about your beautiful women to the same extent I always have, and you will torture me about Hugh for the rest of my life.”

  She let her smile fade. “Nothing changes between us, Dalton. I don’t want that. I love what we have, and I don’t want it to be different. I swear. You have to believe me.”

  Something flashed in his eyes—something she couldn’t quite figure out.

  “I believe you,” he said at last. “We will be what we’ve always been. Nothing different. Agreed?”

  She took in a breath, then beamed at him. “Agreed. Did you bring condoms?”

  Dalton started to laugh, and she joined him. Whatever nerves she might have felt faded away. Then he drew her close and kissed her. Really kissed her, with lips and tongue and heat she’d never experienced before.