Renewing Love

by Linda Ford

  “Josie, if he cares, he knows where to find me. Now tell me what’s new around here. How’s Stella? Where are the children? I didn’t see them.” The widowed Stella Norwood and her two children—Blossom, three, and Donny, five—had been living with the Kinsleys for a couple of months as Stella recovered from being deathly ill.

  “Stella tries to help, but if she does much she turns white as a sheet. Ma has ordered her to rest. She says it will take time to recover. She’s got her children in her room amusing them.”

  “Where’s Pa?”

  “He’s gone to visit some people.”

  Pa did his best to encourage the downhearted, help the injured, and take care of the weak.

  “I assume the laundry is on the line.”

  Josie pressed the back of her wrist to her forehead and gave a long sigh. “Ma and I did it by ourselves. I’m so weary.”

  Eve laughed and pulled Josie to her feet. “Let’s bring in the dry things.”

  She helped bring in laundry, fold it, or iron it as needed. She peeled vegetables for supper. She amused Donny and Blossom for an hour so their mother could rest. Everything she’d always done and enjoyed. She was back home where she belonged.

  If only her heart didn’t feel as empty as the wiped-out washtub.

  Cole and Matt returned to the ranch. Cole’s stomach growled loudly. It wasn’t like he hadn’t eaten a few hours ago. He readily admitted it wasn’t hunger that had him turning toward home in time for dinner. It was anticipation of seeing Eve.

  With Matt’s help, Sanchez was tended and turned out to the little pasture and together, Cole and Matt hurried to the house.

  Inside, Cole skidded to a halt and stared at a stranger. “Hello?”

  “Cole,” Ma said, “this is Audrey Bond. She’s come from Verdun to help us. Audrey, the young fellow is Matt.”

  “Hello,” Cole said again, barely looking at the woman. “Where’s Eve?”

  “She returned to town.” Ma’s tone accused him.

  Aunt Alice scowled, but at least didn’t voice her opinion.

  Why did they blame him? He’d tried to tell Eve how he felt about her.

  He and Matt washed up and sat at the table. He prayed and waited for Miss Bond to serve the meal. She passed him a plate of tiny sandwiches. He could have eaten the entire stack but knew Matt and the others would want some so he took four.

  Matt did the same.

  His bottomless pit still growled for more. And he waited. Miss Bond served tea. That’s when he realized there wouldn’t be more.

  “Thanks for dinner,” he said as he pushed from the table. “Perhaps next time you could make more. Lots more.”

  She blushed a furious red. “I’m sorry. I’ll do better.”

  “I’m sure you’ll do just fine.” He and Matt left the house.

  Miss Bond’s voice followed them. “Does that boy not have decent clothes?”

  Cole dropped his hand to Matt’s stiff shoulders. “Don’t let it bother you. I figure Ma and Aunt Alice will have new shirt and pants ready for you before the day is out.”

  They wandered by the garden. Cole couldn’t stop himself from wishing Eve was there instead of gone back to town.

  They circled the place several times until Matt asked, “We lookin’ for somethin’?”

  “I guess not. Let’s go fix fences.” They made their way to the barn and found hammer and nails then walked the perimeter of the corral fence, checking for loose rails and anything else they could take turns pounding on.

  Ma rolled out to the veranda, Aunt Alice behind her. “Cole, Matt, come here.”

  They jogged over. Aunt Alice handed the finished shirt and pants to Matt. “Put these on and see what you think.”

  Matt took them, looked from one lady to the other. “Thank you.” Then he scooted to the barn.

  “Why’d you let her go?” Aunt Alice demanded.

  “I wasn’t here to stop her. Why’d you let her go?”

  “We asked if you had said anything about her staying, and she said no. Cole, are you going to repeat the mistake you made two years ago and just let her go?”

  “This is different.”

  “How?”

  He couldn’t bring himself to look at them and shifted to gaze at the mountains.

  Ma caught his hand. “Last time you left. This time you’re letting her go. Both times you could have changed the outcome if you wanted.”

  “How do I know she’d listen to me?”

  “Son, how do you know she wouldn’t?”

  He clung to the hope that Eve cared for him in a special way. “What about Miss Bond? By the way, where is she?”

  Both ladies spoke at once then alternated. “She’s pushing crates around in the bedroom. Says they absolutely cannot stay there. She must have the room. She’s already said she found the open spaces frightening. But what’s worst is she said she didn’t know she’d have to take care of an urchin.”

  Cole’s hackles rose.

  “Here he comes,” Ma warned.

  Matt practically strutted across the yard, and Cole chuckled.

  “They fit perfectly.” Matt turned around to let them judge for themselves.

  “They sure do.” Ma brushed her hand over Matt’s head. “You are very handsome.”

  Matt laughed. “Thanks. That’s what my mama always said and then Papa would say, are you trying to give the boy a swollen head?”

  Ma shifted her attention back to Cole. “Son, what are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know. I need to think.” He jumped off the veranda and headed for the barn though he had no purpose in mind. If he rode into town and asked her to come back and she said no, his heart would break into a million irreparable pieces. Not going allowed him to hold on to possibility.

  Possibility that would soon wear thin and provide cold comfort.

  Had she faced these same uncertainties when he proposed to her and asked her to go to the gold fields with him? Perhaps not the same, but similar. She’d needed time to think and he had not given it. And yet, here he was, needing time to think.

  He kicked at a sod. What was to think about? He loved her and wanted to share his life with her. If she didn’t return the feeling he could at least enjoy having her share his home and take care of the ladies.

  He saddled Sanchez and led him to the house. “I’m going to town,” he announced to Ma, Aunt Alice, and Matt, who were still on the veranda. There was no sign of Miss Bond. Perhaps she was preparing supper. If he wasn’t there for the meal, there’d be more for the others.

  “Glad to hear it,” Ma said.

  He didn’t wait to hear Aunt Alice’s opinion. He didn’t know what Eve’s answer would be to his question, but he was ready to risk his pride and his heart.

  Supper was over and the kitchen clean. Ma and Stella were mending some of the children’s clothes. Josie often sewed for others and was working on a dress someone had ordered.

  Eve opened a cupboard door and looked into the contents. Not seeing anything that caught her attention, she closed the door again and went to the table where the others sat sewing. She could have helped any of them but didn’t feel like sitting to work. “Where’s Pa?”

  “He went over to the church to pray,” Ma said. “Go on over and talk to him.”

  “I think I will.”

  Pa looked up at her entrance. “What’s troubling you?”

  She sat beside him. “I wanted things to be different.”

  “You mean with Cole?” At her nod, he continued. “What did you want?”

  “I don’t think I ever stopped loving him, and hoped he still loved me.” The words strengthened the emotion she’d only half admitted to herself.

  “That sounds like something you should say to him.”

  “Pa, I couldn’t. It isn’t right to say it until he does.”

  “Eve, my dear child, you should never be afraid to tell someone you love them.”

  She chuckled. “That’s what Matt said. Imagin
e him feeling like that after the way he was treated after his parents died.”

  “He had a good home at one time.”

  “Pa, what if I say something but he doesn’t return the feeling?”

  “Would knowing be more difficult than not knowing? I don’t think so. And I think your heart tells you he shares your feelings.”

  “I had hoped so. I’m going for a walk. I need to think what to do.”

  “Don’t let your thinking overrule your heart.”

  “I won’t.” She wandered down to the river and sat on the bench placed there for those who needed to sit and think. She loved Cole. She’d lost him once by letting her need to think steal the chance to say what she thought. She’d not let it happen again.

  She didn’t know how long she sat there planning what to do when she heard her name.

  “Eve.” She startled. It sounded like Cole. Was she dreaming it?

  She glanced to her right. “Cole. It is you. I was thinking about you and here you are.”

  “Good thoughts I hope. May I sit?”

  “Of course.” She moved over to accommodate his size.

  “What were you thinking?”

  This was her chance, and she wasn’t going to waste it. She shifted to look into his face. “Cole, I’m so glad you came because there’s something I want to tell you.”

  He caught her hands. “There’s something I want to tell you too.”

  “Let me go first. Cole Carter, I regret that I didn’t go with you two years ago. I loved you then, and I love you now. If you asked me again, I would go with you to the gold fields. I would share a cave or a palace. I’d go to the ends of the earth with you. All that matters is we’re together.”

  He caught her chin and dipped his head to kiss her. It was a short kiss. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and hoped it wasn’t a pity kiss.

  He pressed his knuckles to her cheek in a soft, claiming way. “I’m so happy to hear you say that. I have never stopped loving you and never will, but I can offer you better than a cave. I offer you my home, my ranch, and my heart.” His voice deepened.

  She leaned into his hand. “I couldn’t ask for more. I don’t need or want more.”

  “You get me, my aunt and mother, and now a young lad who needs to learn what home and family are. Are you sure you want all that?”

  “I want it all. They are a part of who you are. I love everything about you. I always will.”

  He got up, pulled her to her feet, and kissed her thoroughly. She clung to him, reveling in his strength and gentleness.

  Epilogue

  Eve wore a dress Josie had made for her in blue silk. Its soft folds brushed her ankles as she walked.

  Eve smiled to think how quickly Josie had sewn the gown in order to have it ready for their wedding. She and Cole had said they would wait only long enough for everyone to make the plans they considered necessary. She’d thought the two weeks quite long enough.

  Eve had insisted that all her sisters who were nearby should stand up with her. Flora, her red hair subdued in a cornet of thick braids; Victoria, her blonde hair shining like sunshine; and Josie, brown hair like rich coffee.

  Matt stood beside Cole, handsome in his black trousers and white shirt. He squirmed at wearing his new shoes. Reese and Kade also stood on the groom’s side.

  Aunt Alice sat beside Aunt Nancy’s chair. Nancy had sewn herself a new gown, saying she wanted to look her best for the occasion. Miss Bond had returned to Ohio without protest. She confessed she didn’t like living in the country.

  Ma sat to the left, a white hankie in her hand. She dabbed at her eyes.

  Pa waited at the front for Eve to join them.

  Eve made herself take in all the others before she rested her gaze on Cole. Looking at him stole her breath. He wore a black suit jacket over his white shirt. Head and shoulders above the others, he cut a fine figure.

  If only Josh could be found. She would have asked him to accompany her down the aisle.

  Instead, she decided to follow Josie and Victoria, holding to Flora’s arm.

  They made their way down the aisle, and Eve took Cole’s arm. He pressed his hand to hers.

  Pa spoke a few words. They signed the register. Then Pa introduced them.

  “It gives me great pleasure to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Cole Carter. May God richly bless your union.”

  Several hours later, after a tea served by her mother and sisters, Eve and Cole rode away in a buggy.

  “I feel almost guilty,” Eve whispered, snuggling close to her new husband.

  “Not me. Everything is taken care of so we can enjoy a few days alone.” Jonathan Bates, a cowboy friend of Pa’s and the entire Kinsley family, had insisted they use his home for their honeymoon. He said he would stay at his bachelor neighbor’s. Said the poor man was lonely and could use the company.

  Josie offered to stay with Cole’s family.

  “Your father gave me a bit of good news while we were preparing for the ceremony.”

  “I can’t imagine news that exceeds this moment.”

  Cole chuckled and tightened his arm around her. “There is a report about Matt’s family.” Pa had asked the man looking for Josh to make inquiries about Matt. “There is record of his parents dying and a man claiming to be his uncle taking him. But no one thought to ask if the man was any relation or not. The last anyone heard of him, he was alone. Gave no explanation about the missing boy and shortly after, he left for the east saying he had business in Chicago.”

  “Then Matt can stay with us?”

  “No one objected.”

  “I’m glad. He’s doing so well.”

  They reached the Bates’s home. Cole lifted her from the buggy and carried her across the threshold. He kissed her soundly before he put her on her feet.

  “Wait here while I get our things.” He carried in their travel bags and a small package. “Ma and Aunt Alice said I was to give you this and their blessing.”

  She folded back the paper to reveal the figurine of the little black-haired girl with her apron full of flowers.

  Eve’s eyes clouded with tears.

  “There’s more. A notebook.” He groaned. “No doubt full of stories about us.”

  She opened the first page and chuckled. “It is about us. See the drawings.”

  He stood behind her, his arms about her and his chin against her head as she turned the pages. “The story of our life together.”

  The final pages showed them with Matt all grown up and a baby in Eve’s arms and a toddler in Cole’s. Two older children stood at their sides.

  He laughed. “It would seem they have plans for us.”

  She turned into his embrace. “So do I.”

  “Me too.” They kissed. It was the beginning of their life together.

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  The story of the Kinsley family begins long before they take up residence in Glory, Montana Territory. It begins with a young woman, married to a preacher man. Both of them desire to serve God and have a large family. But their lives aren’t the dream they’d imagined. There are disappointments that threaten their hearts. Will their faith endure and their love survive?

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  Sneak peek of A Love to Have and to Hold

  Walker’s legs buckled. He caught himself before he fell. He wiped his eyes. Shimmering shapes ahead made him squint to focus. Buildings. A town. He stumbled forward. A steeple on the nearest building pointed heavenward. Thank you, God. I made it. He staggered the last few paces and collapsed on the steps of the church. From inside, came the sound of a piano and ladies singing in harmony. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.

  Yes, Lord, it was Your a
mazing grace and love that brought me to safety.

  The music stopped. The door behind him was ajar, and he heard bits and pieces of a conversation.

  “He’d like to court you.”

  A second voice answered. “I don’t want to encourage him.” Walker missed a few words from the first speaker. Then the second person spoke again. “I’m not interested in marriage, but even if I was, it would not be with a penniless, homeless cowboy.”

  Walker figured that about described him. Not that he was looking for a wife. Nope. Besides, this wasn’t the first young lady to speak her mind about poor cowboys. Dianne had taught him a lasting lesson on the matter. Now he had other things on his mind. Fog filled his brain, and he couldn’t remember what his plans were. Wavy lines distorted the world around him. He leaned back, closed his eyes, and waited for the weakness to pass.

  A hand touched his shoulder. The scent of wild flowers wafted into his senses.

  “Mister, you look to be in need of help.”

  He couldn’t answer.

  “Wait here. I’ll get my pa.”

  A different voice spoke. “Is he okay while you do that? I need to check on the children.” The speaker seemed eager to be away.

  A soft chuckle. “I don’t think he’ll be going anyplace soon.”

  Footsteps faded away. Walker’s head echoed with the urgent beat of his heart.

  Moments later a man’s voice spoke, and there was a gentle touch on his shoulders. “You’re in safe hands.”

  Walker squinted in an attempt to bring the face into focus. A kindly looking man with dark brown hair and steady gray eyes. Beside him, a young lady with similarly colored hair but brown eyes whose brow wrinkled in concern. He managed to take them in before his vision again blurred.

  “Let’s get him into the house.” The man urged Walker to his feet, holding him as he swayed. With one person on either side of him, he was guided across a patch of grass and into a kitchen. He was lowered to a chair by the table.