Waiting on Love

by Tracie Peterson

Etta was already there, cleaning and putting away clothes. “Oh, Miss Elise, you’re back so early.”

  “Is it early? It feels like the middle of the night. I have a headache.”

  “I’ll prepare you a bag of herbs and lavender. The scents help so much with the pain.”

  “I do wish you’d help me get out of this gown first. Please.” Elise kicked off the dancing slippers and immediately sighed in relief. “That feels so much better. I’m afraid my feet are not as small as Auntie’s.”

  Etta helped her out of the gown and corset. Elise pulled on her dressing robe, then let Etta guide her to the dressing table. The maid began pulling pins from the elaborate coiffure with expert skill. It was as if she’d memorized the position of each pin. It wasn’t long at all until she was brushing out Elise’s black hair.

  The headache had moved down into Elise’s neck, and she did her best to sit still while also shrugging her shoulders up and down to ease the tension. Etta finally took pity on her.

  “You get into bed, Miss Elise, and I’ll fetch the herbs.”

  Elise did as she suggested, and almost immediately her muscles began to relax. Closing her eyes, she was surprised not to see a room full of dancing strangers. Instead, she saw the face of Nick Clark staring back at her. His smile coaxed a grin from her. She imagined him extending his hand for a dance. The thought of dancing with Nick mesmerized her.

  If Etta returned with the herbs, Elise never knew it.

  Chapter 4

  “Thank you for coming to the funeral with me,” Elise told her uncle, leaning close. “I know Papa would want me here as a representative. Joe was like a brother to him and another uncle to me.” Her eyes filled with tears. “It won’t be the same without him.”

  “I’m glad I could be here for you, my dear.” Uncle James patted her arm.

  Elise dabbed her eyes with the lace-edged handkerchief her aunt had lent her. She tucked the cloth away, then folded her gloved fingers together, trying her best to control her emotions. She gazed straight ahead at the front of the church. Joe’s casket had been placed just below the pulpit. The pine coffin wasn’t at all ornate—just a simple wooden box.

  She leaned close to her uncle again. “I feel so sorry for his widow and family. Five children will grow up without their father.” She shook her head. “I don’t know if Mrs. Brett can do anything to earn a living, especially with children who are still so little. It’s not fair.”

  Word had come after a week that the Mary Elise’s first mate had died. Joe Brett’s leg had been gangrenous and impossible to save. Elise knew her father would be devastated. They were good friends. Everyone loved Joe, including Elise. He had been a good man worthy of their admiration and trust. He would be sorely missed.

  The preacher got up and spoke of Joe’s death coming much too soon. He described Joe’s good character and his faithfulness to his family. There were murmurs and nods from the congregation, most of whom were from the lower levels of society. Elise felt out of place in her aunt’s black bombazine. At least this was her summer mourning gown, so the silk was not blended with wool. The heat was already stifling, and in the small, crowded church there was no breeze from the open windows. Elise fanned herself, but it did little good. She could only imagine that Uncle James’s suit was unbearable.

  It was hard to concentrate on the preacher’s words. The last funeral she’d been to was her mother’s. Elise could still hear the waves lapping against the ship. Her father had put them out in the middle of Lake Superior. Mother had chosen it long ago for her watery grave.

  Each of the men had stood at attention around the canvas-wrapped body of her mother, including Joe. Each man said a few words in praise of Mary Wright. By the time it was her turn to say something, she had forgotten all of her memorized tributes.

  “She was the best of mothers. She taught me so much and led me to the Lord.” A few of the men had murmured amen, as Elise’s mother had led them to faith in Jesus as well. “I cannot imagine a world without her loving kindness and gentle smile. She will be so missed.” Tears had slipped down her cheeks as she touched the canvas. “I love you, Mama.”

  Then it was her father’s turn. Bill Wright had stood with a stoic expression on his face. He read from the Bible and then closed the book. “She was my dearest friend and love. She was a helpmate like no other, following me from ship to ship, lake to lake. She loved the sea, and she loved me and her girls.” He smiled. “She loved the lot of you too.”

  Those who had truly known her wiped away a tear or two. Elise could feel the love they held for her mother and their captain. Later, when they slipped Mama’s body overboard into the surprisingly calm Superior waters, Joe had wept. And now Elise sat here, doing the same for him.

  “Man is but a vapor, here and then gone,” the preacher continued, “yet our memories will serve us long after to say of Joseph Brett, ‘He was a good man.’ Let us pray.”

  Elise took out the handkerchief again as she bowed her head. She wiped her tears, knowing Joe would chide her not to spend her time in such a manner. The pastor prayed for comfort and mercy, but Elise couldn’t pray. Comfort and mercy meant very little when a family couldn’t provide for itself. She’d spied holes in the shoes of Joe’s eldest boy. His widow’s dress was threadbare and patched. She nudged her uncle as soon as the pastor said amen. “Uncle, could I have forty dollars?”

  He looked at her oddly as they rose to file out of the church. “Whatever for?”

  She let go a heavy breath. “Joe’s widow. I’m sure Papa would pay you back. It’s for one final month’s pay.”

  “Of course.”

  She waited until they were outside to offer further explanation. “Papa already paid him, but I’m sure the doctor took a good portion of that. I doubt Mrs. Brett even knows what she has left to work with. I know my father would want me to do this on his behalf.”

  “I don’t doubt what you say.” He reached into his coat and drew out his wallet. He gave her two twenty-dollar gold coins. “Please tell her to come see me if she has any other needs.”

  “Thank you, Uncle James.” She kissed his cheek.

  “Don’t bother to mention it to your father. He needn’t pay me back.” His face was full of compassion. “We’re partners in this, and I want to do my part.”

  Elise smiled. “You’re a good man. Mama always said you were her rock until Papa came along.”

  “I miss your mother more than I can say. I was grateful your father agreed to let me put up a stone for her in the cemetery. Sometimes I walk by there and just pause to remember her. She was so very dear.”

  Elise nodded. “It’s harder on some days than others. I wake up and I think surely it was just a bad dream. The days are so empty without her. And poor Papa . . . he misses her so.” She shook her head and looked at the ground. “He hasn’t been himself since.”

  “I could tell at the wedding. His joy is gone. He smiled, even laughed, but it never seemed as sincere.”

  “He says he lost a good part of his heart the day he lost her. He moves forward without any pause, but his grief is obvious to me. Probably to anyone who really knows him. That’s why I hated to let him sail without me.”

  Her uncle patted her black sleeve. “He’ll be all right, Elise. He has a strong faith.”

  She knew that much was true but wasn’t sure it was enough. She had heard of people dying from heartache and sorrow. She feared her father very well might be one of those.

  After the graveside prayers were concluded, Elise made her way to Mrs. Brett while her uncle motioned the driver to bring around the carriage.

  “Mrs. Brett.” Elise smiled and extended her hand.

  Joe’s widow was probably no more than ten years older than Elise—if that. She looked at Elise with watery eyes. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”

  “Nor I. My father has lost his right hand. He will be truly sorry to hear of this.”

  “Your father is a good man. Joe always said he was the best to work f
or.”

  Elise nodded. “This is Joe’s final month of pay.” She slipped the two coins into the widow’s hands.

  Mrs. Brett’s eyes widened. “I thought he had his month’s wages when he came home sick.”

  “No. The way Papa arranged things, there’s always one final accounting.” Elise smiled. “If you need anything, please get in touch with my uncle, James Monroe, at the shipping office. He wanted to make sure you knew he was there for you.”

  Tears came to her eyes anew. “Oh, this means bread and cheese for the children. Thank you so much. I wasn’t sure what we were going to do.”

  Elise gave her a hug. “We’re family. I’m sure my father will come by to see you when he’s back in port.”

  “I don’t know how I’ll live without my Joe. He was such a good man.” The widow wiped her tears with a black handkerchief. “My poor children,” she sobbed, and Elise embraced her again.

  “You will be in our prayers, Mrs. Brett. You needn’t bear this alone.”

  The older woman let Elise cradle her for several long minutes. It was all Elise could do to keep from breaking into tears herself. Then Mrs. Brett’s mother came to comfort her daughter, and Elise bid them both good-bye. She made her way to the carriage and was grateful when the driver helped her up.

  “I feel so completely exhausted.” She took her seat opposite her uncle. “All of this just reminds me so much of Mama.”

  “I thought the same,” her uncle replied. “I wish I could have been at the ship service. I know Caroline felt the same way.”

  “I know, but since the doctor was unsure what had caused the fever, he thought burial should be immediate.”

  “I do understand. As I said before, it’s comforted me to have a stone that I can visit. Would you like to see it?”

  Elise hadn’t considered it before now, but she nodded. “I would like that very much.”

  Her uncle gave the driver the new instructions. “It’s a beautiful location in the cemetery. A stream runs through that portion, and it has a view of the lake. I thought of how much she loved the water.”

  Elise thought it sounded perfect.

  They reached the cemetery only moments later. The driver returned to open the carriage door, but this time Uncle James alighted first and helped Elise down.

  “You can see how well-kept the grounds are. Your grandparents are buried here, and one day it will be my resting place as well.”

  “It is a lovely place. All of the trees keep it cooler,” she said as they strolled past the tombstones and mausoleums.

  They climbed a slight rise, and at the top, her uncle stopped and pointed to the stone that bore her mother’s name. “This is for Mary. Over there are our parents’ resting places, as well as a plot for Aunt Martha and me.”

  Elise admired the lovely grassy area with engraved marble stones marking each place. “I pray it remains empty for years to come.”

  “Amen,” Uncle James replied. He sighed and returned his gaze to his sister’s stone. “I think your mother would have approved. The water is in sight, and as a child, she loved shade trees.”

  Elise could imagine her mother lying in the grass to stare up at the branches. “Mama once told me she loved to lie under trees and look up through the leaves to the sky. She said that when the sun shone down through the leaves just right, it reminded her of stained-glass windows in church.”

  “I remember her telling me that as well.” Uncle James smiled.

  “It was thoughtful of you to include a spot here for her. It’s such a pity her mother and father disowned her after she married Papa. They didn’t even give him a chance to love them.”

  “No.” Her uncle shook his head and stared off toward the lake. “At first, I didn’t want her to marry him either, but she begged me to give him a chance. I could see their love for one another was sincere. Your father never asked for money or any other form of assistance. He was too proud, I suppose. He always supported her and kept her happy, however. I once asked Mary if she missed anything from her old life, and she told me she only missed her family. I mentioned that once at dinner to Mother and Father, and their only comment was that she should never have left, then. It was clear they were unwilling to forgive her.”

  “They never forgave her?” Elise couldn’t hide her surprise.

  “On their deathbeds they did, but of course it was too late. Your mother was far away and had no idea they were dying.”

  “But Mama told me she never held it against them. The way she talked, I thought they had made up long before.”

  “That’s the way your mother saw it. She held nothing against anyone. She told me as much whenever I snuck away to see her when the Mary Elise was in port. She gave me her assurance and love. I’ll never forget when she proudly presented you. Your father had delivered you on the ship.”

  “Yes. He always said I was a water baby.” She smiled. “I could swim before I could walk.”

  The older man laughed. “I’ve no doubt of that.”

  Elise felt her spirits lift. “It was such a good life, Uncle. I don’t want you ever to worry that it wasn’t. I’m sure my sister told you horrible stories of her misery, but I have loved my life at sea—even if I didn’t learn how to stroll in the garden or ride a horse.”

  “I can see my Martha has been after you. She believes it’s her job to secure you a husband.”

  “Well, she can relax her search. I don’t plan to marry. I promised Mama I would take care of Papa. Until he no longer needs me, I am bound to see to his needs.”

  Uncle James frowned. “I doubt your mother meant for you to forsake true love in order to care for an aging parent. Your father would feel terrible knowing you refused a chance for the kind of love he had with your mother in order to take responsibility for him.”

  Elise had never thought of it that way. “Well, who knows? Perhaps God will provide me with a man who will be happy to serve on the Mary Elise.” An image of Nick came to mind. She smiled. “It is possible.”

  Chapter 5

  After enduring three additional dinner parties and a Fourth of July celebration, Elise was more than ready for her father’s return. Hearing that the Mary Elise was in port left her eager to return to the ship and get back to her routine. She could only imagine the mess the men had left in the galley. Donning her simpler clothes, Elise instructed Etta on packing.

  “I won’t need any of these fancy dresses or beautiful undergarments and shoes. Please pack them for storage in the attic or wherever else my aunt would choose.”

  “Yes, miss.” Etta started picking up the discarded gowns that lay across the back of a chair.

  “I’ll put the clothes I want to take with me on the bed and can pack them myself when we get back.”

  “Yes, miss.”

  Elise knew Joe’s death was going to shock and devastate her father. They’d both had such hope that, after a couple of weeks of rest, Joe would be back on his feet. She whispered a prayer for him and pulled on a straw bonnet.

  “My father and I will be going to pay our respects to Mrs. Brett, if anyone asks after me.” Elise knew her aunt Martha would be appalled that she was wearing a simple serge skirt and blouse. She didn’t want her aunt totally shamed, however, so she grabbed a pair of crocheted gloves.

  “Yes, miss,” Etta said for the third time.

  Elise had just reached the top of the stairs when she heard Mrs. Cavendish, the housekeeper, greet her father.

  “Good day, Mr. Wright. Welcome back.”

  “Thank you. How’s Elise?”

  “I’m just fine, Papa.” Elise bounded down the stairs in a most unladylike fashion. “I told you I wasn’t really hurt. Just bruised.” She threw herself into his arms and hugged him close.

  “It’s been a long trip without you,” he said as they embraced. “Meals were definitely not up to your standards.”

  She pulled back and smiled. “Well, now you have me back.”

  “What say we go over to Joe’s and see
if he’s ready to be back on board?”

  Elise couldn’t hide her look of sadness. She shook her head. “I’m so sorry to tell you this, Papa. Joe didn’t make it.”

  “He’s dead?” Her father dropped his hold on her and seemed to search for the nearest chair.

  He looked so pale that Elise feared he might be ill. She held fast to his arm. “I was going to suggest we go see Mrs. Brett right now.”

  He nodded. “Yes, let’s do that. The walk will give me time to consider all of this.”

  They headed out the door. Elise pulled on her gloves while her father re-secured his billed cap.

  “I can hardly believe he’s gone. It’s a good thing I asked Nick to stay on.”

  “You did?” She tried not to sound too enthusiastic. After all, Papa had only just learned about his friend and former first mate. She reined in her happiness. “That was certainly wise.”

  “I really like Nick. He’s a hard worker and gets along with everyone. Well, most everyone. I hired on another fella, Booker Duran, as a seaman. He hasn’t found his footing yet, and he’s managed to make each man mad over one thing or another. I’ll tell you more about him later.” He shook his head and lowered his gaze to the ground. “It seems everyone I care about is leaving me.”

  “I’m not. You’re stuck with me,” Elise teased. “Oh, before we get there, I nearly forgot.” She paused to make sure she had her father’s attention. “I asked Uncle James to give me forty dollars for Joe’s final pay. I know you already paid him his salary, but I thought this could be like a bonus of sorts. They had to pay out so much to the doctor that I was afraid there might not be anything left.” They rounded the corner onto the cobblestone street where Joe’s family lived.

  “You’re a good-hearted woman, Elise. Your mother would have done just the same.”

  That comment pleased her more than she could say. “Uncle James was happy to do it and said you shouldn’t try to pay it back. He feels that since you’re partners in shipping, he has as much a right to help as you do. He had me tell Mrs. Brett that she could come to him with any need.”