Roderick

by Gadziala, Jessica

  There was no more thinking about it. No more wondering if it was smart or not. If it was going to hurt when it was done.

  There was just the moment.

  The want.

  The need.

  The rightness of the feel of his weight on me, his lips on my lips, my neck, my ear.

  His forearm planted to one side of my body, freeing his other to roam, sliding down the side of my breast, my ribs, sinking in a bit to the hollow of my hip before sneaking under my shirt, fingertips whispering up my belly, the touch so light that goosebumps rose in its wake.

  His fingers planted between my breasts, his thumb tracing over the oddly sensitive underside before slipping upward, running circles over the hardened point.

  Just circles.

  Soft.

  Sweet.

  Slow.

  The need was a clawing, desperate thing overtaking my system, making me impatient.

  My body lifted, hand pressing into his shoulder, pushing until he lost balance, falling back onto the mattress.

  I climbed up, straddling his waist, watching the slow, sexy smile that pulled at his lips as my hands went down, dragging up my shirt, needing to hunch a bit forward to free it, my ribs aching when my hands went up over my head.

  The smile fell away, replaced with heavy-lidded hunger as his eyes moved over my chest. His hand raised, sliding up my belly to settle over my ribs, covering the bruises there for a long moment.

  "They're fine," I insisted, hand covering his for a second before planting my hands, leaning forward to claim his lips again.

  His body folded up, the position making my hips drop down on his lap, feeling his cock press between my thighs, making a moan escape me, stifled by his lips.

  My hands went down his back, dragging his shirt up, shivering a bit when his chest brushed my breasts.

  Unable to stop it, my hips ground down on him, making a low, rolling growl move through him, vibrating into my chest.

  His arm locked around me, throwing me back down on the mattress. Not quite as gently as he had before.

  His lips didn't seek mine, traveled instead downward, closing over my nipple, circling with his tongue for a long moment before sucking hard, making my back arch off the mattress as the desire shot from the contact and between my legs.

  He moved over my chest, working the same magic to my other nipple before going between my breasts, kissing down the line of my stomach, his stubble creating a delicious burn over the skin.

  His body pushed back to sit on his ankles, reaching to pull my legs forward so my knees hit my chest, sliding my leggings down my hips, my thighs, over my knees, struggling a bit charmingly to free my ankles and feet.

  "These look like sin when you wear them," he told me, tossing them onto the floor. "But they're a pain in the ass to peel off," he added with a sexy smirk as he grabbed my knees, pressing my thighs wide on the mattress as his body sank down.

  No hesitation.

  No playing around.

  His tongue moved up my cleft, found my clit, and worked it relentlessly until my hands were clawing at the sheets, my hips grinding shamelessly up toward his mouth, my moans became nothing but choked whimpers before his lips closed around it, sucked, and made the orgasm slam through my system.

  I barely had a chance to come down before his fingers were inside me, thrusting, curling, raking across the top wall with expert precision, driving me up again impossibly fast.

  "No," I whimpered when he seemed to feel the pre-orgasm tightening, pulling his fingers out of me, refusing to let me come again. "Roderick," I tried, reaching to grab his hand.

  "Next time you come, it's going to be around my cock, mami," he murmured, making his way back up my belly, between my breasts, up the side of my neck, teeth nipping into my earlobe.

  My hands slid down the firm line of his back, sinking into his ass for a second before sliding between our bodies, finding the button and zip, working them free with needy fingers, a bit awkwardly trying to drag both his jeans and his boxer briefs down his legs, freeing him.

  And, desperate to make him feel even a bit of what he had made me feel, I slid down underneath him, grabbing his cock, guiding it into my mouth. My tongue worked a circle around the head before reaching around, sinking my hands into his ass, encouraging him to press deeper, to take what he wanted, what he needed from me.

  "Fuck," he hissed, starting to thrust into my mouth. Slow, tentative, feeling me out at first. But when my hands simply sank in deeper into his ass, hard enough to leave possessive little marks there later, encouraging him, he began thrusting harder, deeper, forcing me to take him into the back of my throat a few times before he pulled suddenly away, kicking completely out of his pants, grabbing a condom out of his wallet, throwing it onto the bed, then grabbing my hips, tossing me further up toward the pillows before coming over me again, sealing his lips over mine.

  There was nothing soft or sweet, nothing restrained or controlled about him then.

  His lips bruised into mine, his teeth sank in deep enough to leave marks.

  His body wedged between my thighs, his cock sliding up my cleft, making a shudder move through me at the perfect contact, at the promise of fulfillment.

  But before my legs could curl around his lower back, he pulled away, sitting back on his heels to quickly protect us, pulling me up with him, settling me on his lap, guiding his cock toward the entrance to my body, but waiting for me to sink down, to take him in.

  My arms twined around his neck, holding on, as my hips sank down.

  Despite the need for release running rampant through my system, my movements were slow, controlled, everything within me seeming to realize this was something to savor, something I may never get to have again.

  So I took him in inch by inch, letting out a held breath when he was buried to the hilt, my eyes rising to find his, seeking, maybe, a similar understanding in him, about this moment, about how special it was.

  But that was silly, of course, I realized, ducking my head before I showed too much of my silly, girlish fancy to him.

  His hands slipped down my back to sink into my ass, not guiding me, just holding on as I started to move. A few slow, tentative strokes before the need overcame the uncharacteristic urge to take it slow, to savor it.

  It wasn't long before desire made my movements fast, frantic, before Roderick's arms eased me back onto the mattress, pressing my bare feet to his chest as he started to thrust - fast, but controlled.

  One of his hands pressed down on my lower stomach, the other moved between my thighs to work my clit as he drove me up, pushed me to the edge, tossed me over before I could even anticipate it.

  The orgasm slammed through my body, the waves crashing over and over, Roderick's name bursting from me when I could finally find my breath again.

  "Fuck, Liv," he growled, spreading my legs, curling over me, taking me harder, faster, each thrust making the headboard crack against the wall, my moans raising to challenge it.

  His voice was low, rough, his breath in my ear, lost in the moment, he slipped in and out of Spanish.

  Creo que eres la chica más sexy que he conocido.

  I think you're the sexiest woman I've ever met.

  Me encanto tu chocha.

  I love your pussy.

  And, finally, as I got closer, as he got there as well -

  Ven conmigo.

  Come with me.

  And just like that, I did.

  He did.

  And it was, dare I even think it, perfect.

  Completely and utterly perfect.

  His body came down on mine, his head buried in my neck as he tried to even out his breathing, tried to come back down.

  My body felt overworked, fuzzy and hot and cold all at once, my nerve endings popping off every second even long after the waves had stopped crashing.

  "Let me up, mami," Roderick commanded softly, making me realize for the first time that my arms and legs were vice grips around his strong body. "Just
one minute," he assured me when I hesitated to release him.

  My legs slid away, my arms following, and Roderick pushed up, pressing a quick kiss to my lips before jumping off the side of the bed, giving me the perfect behind view for a short moment before he dragged his pants up, leaving the jeans open as he walked across my room, closing the door behind him as he went into the bathroom.

  Alone, I attempted to pull myself together, sliding up and under the covers to warm my rapidly cooling body.

  I took a deep breath as I heard Roderick coming back, sneaking a glance at him from under my lashes, finding his eyes on me as he moved to the side of the bed.

  I heard the swish of his jeans hitting the floor again, the cool air as he lifted the blankets to climb under with me.

  "Don't shut down on me, Livvy," he demanded, arm sliding under my body, curling me onto my side as he turned on his.

  "I'm not shutting down," I insisted, though even I knew it was mostly a lie.

  What else was there to do but shut down? When there was no chance of anything more between us than this - a few tours of my bedsheets.

  His lips tipped up at that as his finger traced down my jaw.

  "Then how come we could practically fit another person between us right now?" he asked. "When we both know you'd much rather be all up on this," he said, waving a hand toward his body.

  "So sure of yourself, huh?" I asked, but I shifted closer, feeling his body heat warming my chilled skin.

  "Yep," he agreed, arm draping around my lower back. "And see?" he asked, rolling onto his back, pulling me onto his chest.

  "See what?" I asked, letting myself melt into him.

  "Wasn't doing that much better than not doing that?" he asked, and I didn't have to look to know he was grinning, satisfied. And why shouldn't he be? If I wasn't overwhelmed with this feeling of impending heartache, I would have felt so as well.

  "Sorry to interrupt the fucking," Astrid's voice called, making me bury my face in Roderick's chest as a chuckle moved through him. "But lunch is here. You need fuel for all the fun times. And, Roderick, it's been a while for Liv. She's going to need to go a few rounds. You might want to consider Gatorade!"

  "I'm gonna kill her," I told Roderick's chest before pushing up to look down on him.

  "She's proud of herself," he declared. "She's been scheming for this since I showed up here. It's Cam who is likely not the happiest camper right now."

  "You make it sound like he's into me. He's not."

  "No. Not into you, but probably wants better for you."

  "Better? What's wrong with you?"

  "I... it's... nothing. Never mind," he said, for once, him being the one to close down. "Come on, let's get some clothes on so we can eat. You didn't touch breakfast."

  With that, he moved up and out from under me, redressing, leaving me with no choice but to do the same, moving out into the main area of the loft feeling awkward.

  It was insane, of course. I was a grown woman. We were all adults. We all had sex lives, even if they were maybe not as active as others. Though, as a whole, we engaged in it outside of the loft, none of us ever having to face each other directly after everyone else had likely overheard things happening.

  "You can blame Cam for it if you don't like hot subs. He's almost as crazy about them as he is his donuts," Astrid told Roderick as she handed him a plate, doing so with a strange, satisfied smile, murmuring something to him that made him tap his hip into hers playfully.

  And despite thinking everything would be weird, overall, it wasn't. Cam had given me an odd look, something penetrative, but it was over almost before it began.

  We ate.

  We all did some work trying to track down the gun. Astrid baked cookies. From a tube, but still. We ate them in front of the TV watching some silly sitcom the name of which I didn't even think to learn because Roderick pulled me onto his lap, and all I could focus on was the way his fingers sifted through my hair.

  Cam took off to bed.

  Astrid pretended to, though I knew she would be awake in her room for hours still. She just wanted us to be alone, to be able to go to bed.

  Which was what we did, having sex until our bodies couldn't take anymore. Then falling asleep in each other's arms.

  We spent almost the whole next day in bed, only leaving to shower - together - and grab slices of pizza when Astrid told us there were pies in the kitchen.

  My body ached in a delicious way, in places I hadn't felt in ages. I shared more details about my life when our bodies were too spent to go another round, letting it all gush out as he demanded more, wanting everything.

  So I poured it all into him, not giving a thought to the fact that by doing so, I would be empty when he was gone.

  Because we had been living in a little bubble, cut off from the world, cut off from outside interference.

  Or so we thought.

  Or so I thought at least.

  Roderick had gone out to the kitchen to get us coffee in the morning, everything about the day suggesting it would be just like the previous one - spent in bed, loving, laughing, sharing stories.

  I had been making my way out to see what the hell was taking so long when I heard his phone ringing.

  It had been silent.

  So silent, in fact, that it must have been dead, laid up forgotten somewhere until he remembered to plug it in while he went about the motions of making breakfast for us.

  It rang and, because he was busy, he put it on speaker on the counter.

  "Roderick, the fuck is going on?" a commanding male voice demanded to know. It didn't take too much deducing to realize it was his president. Reign.

  "Sorry, shit has been crazy, prez," Roderick said, body stiffening a bit. "My phone was dead."

  "Crazy how?" Reign demanded, sounding tense himself. And, from the stories Roderick had told me about the problems the club had faced over the past few years, right down to losing his own daughter, I didn't blame him for getting worked up at the idea of any type of trouble that might blowback on his club.

  "There was a lead about one of the guns. And we went in too quickly."

  "We?"

  "Me, Liv, and one of her people, Cam. We met the contact in The Bronx. We were outmanned, outgunned. It went south fast when he made a move toward Liv."

  "Fuck," Reign hissed. "Don't make me pry it out of you."

  "Everything went to shit," Roderick admitted. "Cam and I took cover to try to take some of them out."

  "And Liv?" Reign asked, somehow sounding more concerned about me - this woman he had never met - than Roderick. Maybe simply because he knew my fate could be worse than that of his man.

  "We couldn't get eyes on her until her other colleague came in and took a bunch of the fuck's men out. We got eyes on Liv again." He paused for a long moment there, looking out the window. "It was bad," he added. "Pretty fucking bad."

  "You take him out?"

  "Yes."

  Reign paused a moment. "Good. She alright?"

  "Yeah, full recovery. Just some bruises still."

  "Small blessing," Reign mumbled. "Look, Roderick. I think we should just... let this drop."

  "What?" Roderick asked, voice tense.

  "This has gone on far enough. People are getting hurt. It's just one fuckin' client. We can spare him. Besides, your mom will drag herself down to the compound and box my fuckin' ears if I don't have you home for Christmas. Wrap it up. Pack your shit. Head back. You did your best. We will just let it drop."

  My heart sank down into my stomach as I moved back a step, not wanting him to turn, to see the look of genuine pain that must have been on my face because I felt it all through my chest, my stomach, hell it felt like it spread from my center outward until it took over me completely as I heard Roderick's reply to his boss.

  "Okay. I'll be back by tomorrow."

  Tomorrow.

  I was cognizant of my emptiness then, realizing how badly I had screwed up in giving him so much.

  I bac
ktracked myself into my bedroom, closing the door without a click, going to my closet to get dressed. And not just in pants and a tee I yanked over my naked body to be presentable when we went into the common space. No. Complete with a bra, panties, and goddamn socks for chrissakes. Like if I piled enough on, no one would know how empty I was.

  "Livvy," Roderick's voice called from the doorway.

  It took everything I had not to stiffen as I turned, pulling my shirt fully into place.

  "I figured it was time to get dressed," I bullshitted, shrugging it off.

  "I know you heard," he told me, leaning against the doorjamb, shaking his head a bit.

  I didn't see any reason to deny it. He would know if I was lying anyway. "I heard," I agreed, nodding. "We're... off the hook," I said, trying to keep my tone casual.

  "Livvy..."

  "It's good. You will get to be with your family for Christmas. They would miss you if you weren't there."

  "Liv..."

  "And it didn't sound like your boss was mad, so everything can just... go back to normal."

  I was trying to force myself to believe that as well.

  They would.

  Could.

  Had to.

  Maybe it was good it was the holidays. Astrid and I would get busy with baking, cooking, wrapping, shopping, binging cheesy made-for-TV Christmas specials.

  Then we would be busy taking everything down for New Years.

  Then, well, we would have to get back to work. We had a lot of lost money to make up.

  It would all fall away, this little piece of paradise I had gotten to know. With time. If I got and kept busy enough. I could forget it. Bury it under other things.

  "Come on, Livvy. We should talk about this."

  "There's nothing to talk about really. We had a good time. We both knew it was temporary. And now it is time for things to go back to how they were. You can't leave until Astrid gets back though," I told him, happy to change the topic to her goodbyes instead of my own. "She will want to say something wildly inappropriate for you to remember her by."