Roderick

by Gadziala, Jessica

  "Liv. Livianna."

  "Pretty."

  "She's gorgeous," I supplied, surprised how much I felt like I needed to talk about it. And, let's face it, it wasn't the kind of shit you wanted to talk about with your club brothers. It didn't matter that most of them have been where I was, they would still make me wish I had kept my mouth shut.

  "And?"

  "Interesting. And loyal. Smart..."

  "Well, duh," Mia snorted, shaking her head. "I mean, she would have to be to catch your eye for more than a night, right? What else?"

  "She's an arms dealer," I admitted, figuring there was no need for secrets. My sisters knew about my lifestyle, but weren't in it in any way themselves.

  "No shit?" she asked, smiling. "Well, no wonder."

  "What? Just because she's a criminal, we're meant to be?"

  "Nah. It's more that she... can understand you, right? You can open up with her because she will get it, relate to it, won't judge you for it. That's the it factor all your other women have lacked. So..."

  "So she stole from me," I admitted, chuckling a little when she choked on her drink. "And I went to track her down to get it back. I was there for a while. Things happened."

  "And why is it over?"

  "Reign told me it was time to come home. When I tried to talk to her about it, she just pushed me away, practically pushed me out the door."

  "Trying to make it hurt less," Mia guessed, looking over to the pile of wrapping paper nearly dwarfing the tree itself. "I mean... if you like this woman. If you think you could maybe love her someday... then you owe it to yourself - and her - to try once more. If it's a no then, then it's a no. But now that she's had a few days to think it over, I say it's time to reach out. But that's just my two cents. Don't tell mom until you talk about it though. She'll start planning the wedding."

  With that, she moved away, giving me something to think on.

  Maybe there was still a chance for something more with her. Now that she'd gotten a few days to get her head straight, to miss me.

  Reign would let me take off for a couple days if I asked. I could head up for the new year. Have the hard talk she wanted so badly to avoid.

  By the time I kissed my mom and sisters goodbye, that had become the plan. I wouldn't be able to ask until - at earliest - the next day, Reign being at home with his family.

  But that was alright.

  It gave me some time to do some washing and repacking, maybe get in contact with Astrid to make sure Liv would be around.

  Show up all fairytale or rom-com and shit.

  That was the plan.

  "Might want to wipe that lipstick off your cheek," Virgin suggested as I got out of the SUV, deciding to deal with my packages later, only bringing in the giant box my ma had gotten at Costco loaded up with leftovers for my brothers who didn't have women to take care of them. I reached up, scrubbing at my cheek as I hauled the box out. "Get the fuck outta here," he said, eyes brightening up. "Did your ma make us all Christmas dinner?"

  "She worries about us single guys."

  There was an odd dancing in his eyes then that I shrugged off, figuring it was simply anticipation for home-cooked food.

  "Shit. Can she be my Ma too?" he asked, shaking his head as he fell into step with me back to the building. "Oh, yeah, man... one more thing," he said, but didn't finish his sentence as I stepped inside ahead of him.

  I had no idea what he meant as I went into the empty clubhouse, putting the box down on the bar.

  But then I heard footsteps.

  Turning, I expected Roan, was ready to tell him to help himself to all the leftovers.

  Only the person who moved out from the kitchen with a mug between their hands wasn't the giant of a man with a beard and feral eyes.

  No.

  It was a person who didn't belong there.

  A person I was planning on sweeping off their feet in a few days.

  "Livvy?" I heard myself ask, shaking my head a little.

  "Yeah, that's the thing," Virgin agreed, clamping a hand on my shoulder as he moved past. "Your girl is here."

  I never told them about her, aside from saying we'd worked together. But I guess when a woman showed up to see you after you spent some real time with her, it wasn't exactly much of a leap to assume things had gone down with us.

  "When did you get here?" I heard myself asking instead of rushing over there and sealing my lips over hers like I truly wanted to do.

  "Ah, about two hours ago. Virgin let me in, gave me some coffee, gave me tough talk about keeping my ass in the common area because... what was the phrase again?"

  "If I catch your pretty ass snooping around the guns, I'd be forced to tie you up, and I was pretty sure Roderick wouldn't be happy with how much I'd enjoy that."

  "Yes, that," she said, giving him a small smile as she toasted him with her mug.

  I shook my head a bit, still not quite ready to believe she was there, that she was already bullshitting with one of my brothers.

  "Mami, what are you doing here?"

  "I brought you a present," she said oddly, her shoulders getting a little tense as she moved into the common area, putting her mug down, and picking up a box I hadn't noticed. "Open it," she demanded, holding it out in front of her.

  Feeling awkward, unsure what all this could possibly mean, I reached to pull off the lid, finding red and green crinkled paper inside. "It's in there," she assured me when my gaze went to hers, questioning.

  I dug in, hand closing around something hard and cold, pulling out the last thing I had expected.

  The Double Trigger

  "How?" I asked, shaking my head.

  "Cam," she told me, a small smile tugging at her lips. "He, apparently, wanted me to have an excuse to come here."

  "Oh, yeah?" I asked, feeling something I could only describe as hope welling up inside. "Why's that?"

  "He - and Astrid - think we have some unfinished business."

  "Just them?"

  Her head ducked a little at that. "Maybe me too," she admitted in a small voice.

  I tucked the gun back in the box, taking it from her, setting it down on the bar next to the food.

  "Hey, Livvy," I called, voice just as quiet as hers had been.

  "Yeah?"

  "You don't need an excuse," I told her, hand moving to snag her chin, pulling it up. "To come see me," I clarified. "But thank you for the gun. It's going to make it easier to face all these fucks."

  "Really? It's going to help your rep that the girl who originally stole the gun brought an identical one back when you hadn't been able to track one down yourself?" she asked, lips twitching.

  "Fair enough," I agreed, not giving a fuck about the gun or my rep at the moment. "Grab your coffee, mami. Let's go."

  "Go where?" she asked suspiciously, but she went to fetch her coffee.

  "My room," I specified. "To talk," I added when her eyes went the slightest bit heated. "And then other things if you want," I added, lips close to her ear so Virgin couldn't hear. "You're not sleeping," I observed as we made our way down the hall. "You look tired."

  "I am," she admitted, not offended by being told she looked tired.

  "You're staying tonight," I told her, not asking. "You'll sleep." It was a promise, one she knew I could deliver on.

  With that, I pushed open my door.

  I'd had women in my room before. Of course I had. But it had only ever been casual. So I never gave any thought to what they thought about the space. But this, this felt anything but casual. And I found that I wanted her to feel comfortable, something that had never occurred to me before.

  It wasn't a huge space, none of the rooms were since there were so many of them. But it was enough space to fit a king when you butted one side against the wall, which I did, covered in a black and grey plaid comforter. No extra blankets or pillows like she was used to. But comfortable enough. The nightstand flanked one side with an empty bottle of beer and a wrapper for the takeaway roast beef sandwi
ch I'd had the previous night. I was usually better about filing shit away, but I couldn't bring myself to care too much. Across from the bed was a small dresser with a TV on the wall over it. There was the half-open door to the closet next to the fully open door to the bathroom - just a space half the size of hers at the loft. But private.

  When it came to accommodations, we really had it made considering we didn't have to pay any rent. I wondered at times what would happen when the club outgrew the space. As it was, Repo and Duke had moved their shit out of their rooms, leaving them all but vacant. Maybe that would be a pattern that would continue for all the men - as they married, had kids, they gave up their bachelor pads in the compound.

  "I didn't expect the art," she said as she moved in, eyes moving over the walls.

  "The place is kinda noisy. Having shit on the walls helps keep the sounds out."

  "And in," she mumbled, but not with any malice, any jealousy for things that happened before we had even met. "Are these just from like...the store?" she asked, moving closer to eye them.

  "They're actually from my sister. Ana has always been amazing."

  "Does she do this professionally? Because she should."

  "Partially. She does shows when she can get them. She works in a small gallery."

  "That's really cool. Good for her. Did you have a good time with them?" she asked, content to put off the conversation about the real reason she was here. And, quite frankly, I didn't mind. I was just happy she was in my room.

  "Yeah. I mean... it was Christmas," I told her, watching her nod at that, sure she had had a good time with Astrid and Cam as well. "I wondered what it would be like if you were there, though," I admitted, watching as she turned, eyes skittering around a bit.

  "No, you didn't."

  "I did. I wondered what you would talk to my sisters about. How you would respond if my mom laid into us about settling down and having babies. I thought about you. All I've done since I left the loft was think about you. Actually, you ruined my surprise."

  "What surprise?" she asked, finishing her coffee, putting the mug down on the nightstand.

  "I was coming back here to get some shit together, call Astrid, see if you were around, then come up for the new year. All romantic and shit," I added with a smile.

  "You have Astrid's number?"

  "She sent me a pic of her slippers this morning," I admitted, leaving off the fact that seeing it had only managed to make the ache inside worsen. To be reminded of them. Of the time I spent there.

  "That little sneak. I had no idea." She paused, moving to lean back against the door to the hall. "Why were you going to come?"

  There we go.

  It was time.

  For the talk.

  I'd never had to have it before.

  I didn't know the right way to approach it, the right words to say.

  But I figured if you just said what you meant, what you felt, then you really couldn't fuck it up too much. That was what my sisters complained about - men who hid shit, who weren't up-front, whose wants and intentions were unclear.

  "Because you and me, we have some unfinished business, mami," I told her, closing the distance between us, noticing the way she sucked in her breath when there was a breath of air between us.

  "Oh, yeah?" she asked in a breathy voice. And if she kept looking at me with those fuck-me eyes, we weren't going to be doing much talking.

  "Yeah."

  'What kind of unfinished business?"

  "The kind that might last more than a week or two. The kind that might mean some kind of future for us."

  "You're not really a relationship kind of guy," she told me as though it wasn't something I already knew.

  "From what I understand, you've never been a relationship kind of girl either," I reasoned. "But just because we haven't been in the past doesn't mean we can't be in the future. We can at least try it."

  "It's not that simple," she insisted.

  "You don't live that far away, Livvy."

  "Yeah, but... you're used to a different kind of lifestyle. Where women are..."

  "You think I can't keep it in my pants?" I asked, smile big, teeth and everything.

  "It's not that..."

  "It is. You think my cock controls me, huh?" I asked, liking the way her cheeks went a little pink. "I won't lie to you, mami. I like fucking. It's a good time. But you know what I like more?"

  "What?"

  "Fucking you," I told her. "If the choice was a different girl every day of the week or you just once, I'd choose you every time."

  "But..."

  "Ah, I see. You're worried you can't keep it in your pants, huh?" I asked, tsking at her, smiling when her mouth opened in outrage.

  "Before you, I hadn't..."

  "I'm fucking with you," I cut her off. "Look, I can't see the future. Who knows if this is going to be a ring and dress and government official thing. But I do know I want a hell of a lot more than what we've had. So I say we wing it."

  "Wing it," she repeated. "I think we proved that winging it isn't our strong suit?"

  "What? Because of a couple dead bangers and some bruises?"

  "Thinking things through has its perks."

  "Livvy, what do you want to think - or talk - through?"

  "Oh, gee, I dunno. Like what Reign will think of you dating a fellow arms dealer. How we will be able to try to make something between us when I am on the road all the time? Or what would happen if this did somehow get serious. How I could be a wife or a mom when..."

  "Okay okay. Too fast, I think. First, Reign will be here tomorrow. We can talk to him together if you want. As for the on the road thing, we'll work around it. So what if you have to head out for a week? It's not like you have to head out for a week every week, mami. So on the off weeks, you can be here. Or I can be there when I can be off. We can make that work. And if it is good for us, we can then think and talk about the other shit."

  "What do you think Reign is going to say?"

  I took a breath, took a beat, not wanting to feed her platitudes. "I think he's gonna think it's funny, honestly."

  "See, now you're bullshitting me. I have heard a lot of stories about Reign. Not a single one of them implies he's got a great sense of humor."

  "His life is full of serious shit. If he can find a little levity in a situation, he will."

  "Like the fact that you have feelings for the girl who stole from you and likely made you the butt of relentless jokes?"

  "Yeah, something like that," I agreed, nodding. "He might have some warnings about not trying to steal his contacts, or fuck with his deals again, but other than that, I think he will be alright with it. He's pretty reasonable. Besides, the girls will get wind of you being here. And, to be perfectly honest, not even Reign stands a chance against them."

  "So... you really want to give this a try?" she asked, voice tentative, insecure for a woman who was usually pretty sure of herself.

  "I really want to give this a try," I agreed, ducking my head to keep eye contact.

  "Okay then," she agreed with a smile that was just big enough to make her dimple peek out. The real kind of smile. The kind she flashed a lot when I was around. The kind a man would work himself ragged finding new ways to make appear.

  That was the plan anyway.

  Whether I was ready to tell her that yet or not.

  "Okay then," I agreed, giving her one of my big smiles. But just for a second.

  Because there were other things I would much rather do with my mouth right then.

  She whimpered against my lips at the contact, a sound that shot like fireworks through my system, making everything spark and catch fire in its wake.

  Until my hands sank into her ass, dragging her up off her feet, wrapping her legs around my back. Her legs folded, gave her just enough leverage to rise up and sink back down, grinding hard against my cock.

  Impatient, I turned, striding back to the bed, lowering her down on it, ripping off her top, laying her flat,
working her pants down her legs.

  She pushed to sit back up, her hands going to my button and fly, working them free, frantically dragging my pants and boxer briefs down my legs, sucking my cock into her mouth, her lips tight and hungry, working me until I felt like I was about to lose control, shoot it down her throat when I hadn't been able to get what I had been thinking about almost nonstop since I left the loft.

  My hands landed on her shoulders, pushing back hard, making her fall back with a surprised giggle before my hands grabbed her hips, lifting, flipping, dropping her onto her stomach on the mattress.

  She pushed up onto her knees, keeping her forearms and back low, her light pink lace covered pantied ass up high.

  "Perfect fucking view," I told her, hand squeezing one of the cheeks for a second before my fingers trailed downward, meeting the wet swatch of fabric between her thighs, sliding my finger between her lips, smiling a bit when her thighs quivered at the sensation of her panties rubbing across her.

  My finger circled her for a long minute, the sounds of her low moans making it hard to think past the need coursing through me.

  My fingers slid down, press, press, pressing until they managed to slip slightly inside her, panties and all, making a low, choked sound escape her lips, muffled a bit by the sheets she was burying her face in.

  "No, mami," I said, my free hand moving up to sink into the hair at the base of her scalp, twisting, pulling until she was arched upward. "I want to hear," I told her as my fingers slipped in the side of the panties, thrusting inside her, tapping up against the top wall then pausing. Her hips and ass wiggled, wanting more of the sensation. But my fingers stayed stubbornly still until I heard what I was dying to hear.

  Begging.

  "Please, Roderick," she whimpered.

  My hand left her hair, grabbing her panties, dragging them down over her perfect ass, giving me the access I needed as I dropped to my knees, sucking her clit into my mouth as my fingers started working her - hard, fast, relentless, not giving her body a second to have the orgasm drift away before it slammed roughly through her system, hard enough to make her pussy shake with it as I kept sucking, thrusting, milking it for all it was worth.