Summer

by Karen Kingsbury

  Ashley was standing in the doorway, her mouth open. “Are you kidding me, Brooke?” Her eyes were on fire. She took three quick steps closer to them. Shock and fury battled for position in her tone. “You think we should abort our baby now before it gets any later?”

  “That wasn’t for you to hear.” The color drained from Brooke’s face, but she didn’t back down. “No matter what you want to believe, you need to consider your choices, Ash. That’s all I’m saying.”

  A sound like a laugh but without any humor came from Ashley. “You think I would consider abortion? You really think that?”

  Brooke sighed and seemed to make an effort at sounding compassionate. “People with a diagnosis of anencephaly do it all the time. It’s not a morality issue. Babies with that type of birth defect will die anyway.”

  Ashley looked ready to roll up her sleeves and knock her sister to the floor. “Everyone dies anyway. Isn’t that right?” Tears sprang to her eyes. “I can’t imagine anything . . . anything so heartless in my life.”

  John was about to step in when Landon joined them and took his place by Ashley’s side. “What’s going on?”

  “My sister wants me to get an abortion.” Ashley gestured toward Brooke. “Just stop by a clinic and have a quick procedure. Just like that. No more problem.”

  Brooke gave Landon a defeated look. “A high percentage of people abort anencephalic babies to avoid the heartache. It’s very emotionally damaging carrying a fatally ill baby to full term. That’s all I’m saying.”

  Kari and Ryan peeked in, bid a quiet good-bye, and ushered their kids toward the front door. Dayne and Katy left at the same time, and Reagan returned to the family room with her kids.

  “What’s happening?” Luke walked into the kitchen and looked at the angry, hurt faces around him.

  “Brooke wants me to get an abortion.”

  Before Luke could respond, Peter and the girls appeared in the doorway. He looked like he’d heard much of the exchange, and he shot Brooke a look. “We need to go. The girls are tired.”

  “You didn’t really say that, did you?” Luke crossed his arms. “I mean, we just finished praying for a miracle, and you tell Ashley she should get an abortion?” His look toward Brooke spewed disgust. “That’s the cruelest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “It’s not like that.” Peter was still standing in the doorway with the girls, but apparently he couldn’t resist. “This is a medical issue, not a moral one.”

  “Not true.” Ashley looked on the verge of collapse.

  “Look—” John held up his hand—“it’s late, and I think we’re all feeling the strain of tonight.” He put one hand on Ashley’s shoulder and another on Brooke’s. “No one is trying to hurt anyone else. That’s not how this family works.”

  “Then maybe Brooke should leave now.” Ashley leaned into Landon. “I asked if people would support us.”

  “Fine.” Brooke turned to Peter and made a brushing gesture with her hand. “We’ll all just sit around believing for a miracle.” She stopped and faced Ashley once more. She seemed to force herself to sound calmer. “And while I’m at it, I’ll pray for you and Landon. Because the road ahead will not be easy, Ashley. It won’t.”

  “Thanks, Brooke.” Luke stepped between them. His words dripped with sarcasm. “We’ve had enough medical advice for one night.”

  Brooke’s face fell at the reprimand. Without saying another word, she walked past Peter and her girls and headed for the door.

  “Brooke, don’t leave like that.” John followed her. “This will look different for all of us in the morning.” He turned his attention to the others. “We came together to pray, not to argue.”

  “Sorry.” Peter directed a sigh toward Ashley and Landon. “Brooke means well.”

  Without turning around, Brooke said good-bye and left with her daughters on either side. Peter followed, and as the door closed behind them, an awkward silence fell over the kitchen.

  John was glad Cole and Devin were back in the family room with Reagan and Tommy and Malin. He slipped his hands in his pockets and leaned on the kitchen counter. He wasn’t sure where to begin.

  “Did you know that, Dad? That Brooke believed in abortion?”

  John felt weary. “I don’t think she believes in it. She’s been trained to believe that where birth defects are certain and fatal, an abortion is sometimes the best option.”

  Shock flashed in Ashley’s eyes. “You don’t believe that, do you?”

  “Definitely not.” He gave his daughter a sad smile. “I’ve seen some amazing stories come from the short lives of babies with anencephaly. Every case I’m aware of defends the truth. That life belongs to God.”

  “Good.” Luke moved closer and hugged first Landon, then Ashley. When he pulled back, he kept his hands on her shoulders. “I agree with Dad. Brooke was tactless, but that’s Brooke sometimes. Just the cold, hard facts.” He kissed her cheek. “Hold on to your hope, Ash. God’s bigger than all of it.”

  “I know.”

  “Thank you.” Landon nodded at Luke, and after a few minutes, Luke and Reagan and their kids left.

  Ashley and Landon and their boys weren’t far behind. But even though John asked Ashley again not to be angry with Brooke, he had a feeling the relationship between his two girls would be strained for a while.

  When everyone was gone, he called Elaine and gave her the report.

  The bottom line was that no matter how they prayed, there were tough times ahead. Ashley would have another ultrasound in two weeks, and if it confirmed anencephaly, then only a miracle could save the baby. At the same time, there was a bigger problem, one John hadn’t known existed before today. The problem was with his oldest daughter, a bright and educated young woman who had given her life to Jesus Christ but whose value of life clearly did not align with the truth. That was the sort of change that wouldn’t come easy, especially in light of all Brooke had been taught in med school. It was the sort of dividing line that could split Ashley and Brooke for a long time. Maybe even forever. John explained all of this to Elaine, and she agreed. In the weeks and months ahead, John wouldn’t be praying for only one miracle.

  He’d be praying for two.

  The news about Ashley’s baby was something they all agreed to keep quiet. So that Friday at CKT auditions, Katy was determined to act as if nothing were wrong. But the truth was, she felt uneasy. She and Dayne would watch the auditions, but for the first time since she’d arrived in Bloomington, she wouldn’t be on the panel. The decisions would belong to Rhonda, Chad, and Bethany. Bailey Flanigan would help choreograph the show, but because she was trying out, she wasn’t one of the judges.

  Katy sat in the first pew with Dayne by her side. Maybe it wasn’t uneasiness but more a lack of control. Her sister-in-law was entering what could be a very difficult trial, and she was flitting off to Los Angeles and New Mexico without a care. All while CKT was about to begin their last play. The very last one.

  “You’re thinking about Ashley?” Dayne leaned close. The kids had been great about not hounding him for autographs. They accepted him now, treating him like any of the other adults in charge. The normalcy of the atmosphere brought the only comfort Katy felt that afternoon.

  “I’m trying not to.” Katy snuggled closer to him. Ashley had already said she wouldn’t be available to paint sets this time, and they still didn’t have a music director, since Al and Nancy Helmes had moved away from the area. That along with the uncertainties of Ashley’s pregnancy and the doomed fate of the theater combined to make Katy dizzy. She frowned. “When I don’t think about Ashley, I think about this. How it’s all coming to an end.”

  “When I’m done making movies, we could come back.” He talked low and close to her face. “We could find some land and build our own theater and never leave Bloomington again.”

  She laughed, but she heard the discouragement in it. “You wouldn’t be happy with that.” She turned to him and met his gaze straight on. “Even if y
ou stop making movies, you’ll want to direct. You already told me that.”

  “I also said maybe I’ll skip the whole thing and buy out the rest of my contract.” He rubbed his nose against hers. “I’m serious, Katy. Don’t think of this as the end of CKT. You never know what God has ahead.”

  Sadness wrapped itself around her shoulders like a wet blanket. “But the truth is, it’s ending. For five years or forever, it’s over.”

  His expression said he couldn’t say anything to refute that, so he drew a long breath and smiled. “Then let’s enjoy this audition.” He poked his elbow lightly into her ribs. “I still can’t believe they won’t let me try out. I don’t look a day over eighteen.”

  Katy giggled, and some of the sadness lifted. Life with Dayne would always be an adventure, but she would never doubt his love for her, his way of turning a frightening moment into something they could handle together.

  The buzz around them was getting louder as kids filled the church sanctuary. They huddled together in groups, some of them singing bits of their one-minute songs. Others sat alone, poring over lyric sheets. In the past half hour, nearly every one of them had stopped by Katy and Dayne for encouragement or just to say hello. The recent CKT newsletter had explained that Katy was going to Hollywood to star in a movie with Dayne, so many of the kids also offered congratulations.

  “I can’t believe you’re going to be a movie star!” Bailey Flanigan’s hug lasted longer than the others. Standing next to her was Cody Coleman, the high school football player who lived with the Flanigans. He had given her a ride today so he could watch her audition. He smiled but let Bailey do the talking. She gushed about how she was going to miss them and how they better not stay gone for long. “And don’t let it change you!” Bailey wagged her finger at Katy and grinned.

  The warning was a joke, because no one in the Flanigan family was truly worried that Katy would let any amount of fame or attention change her. Katy had assured them that Bloomington was home, and it always would be, no matter how long and far away the adventure of making movies took her.

  Bailey moved on, and Katy looked at Rhonda, ten yards away and setting up the judges’ table next to Chad Jennings. Again they looked cozy, not so much in any sort of physical way but in the connection when their eyes met.

  Katy jumped up. “I’ll be right back.” She hurried over to Rhonda. “You all set?”

  “I think so. You sure you don’t want to give the opening speech?”

  “You’re directing.” She gave her friend a quick hug. “I’ll be here if you need anything.”

  “I think you’ll love what Rhonda’s come up with.” Chad tapped the Godspell notebook on the desk. “She’s brilliant.”

  Rhonda gave him a playful push. “Half the stuff’s yours.”

  “Well—” he grinned at her—“let’s just say we make a good team.”

  Suddenly Katy had to wonder about the future of Christian Kids Theater. Even if somehow land could be purchased and a new theater built, most likely it wouldn’t be Katy and Dayne running it. It would be these two. Their passion for CKT was unquestionable, and they’d have more time to devote to the kids than Katy and Dayne would.

  A sense of uselessness passed over Katy, a knowledge that she wasn’t needed here anymore. The feeling should’ve given her a release that she was doing the right thing following Dayne to Hollywood to star in his next picture. But instead it only brought back the sad feeling from earlier. Despite that, she smiled at Rhonda and Chad, and as Bethany joined them at the table, she returned to her place next to Dayne.

  Rhonda brought everyone to attention and started by talking about Katy and Dayne. “Lots of you already know that our Katy Matthews will be starring along with her husband, Dayne, in his next movie!”

  An explosive cheer burst from the kids and families around the room. A few of them yelled, “Go, Katy!” and “Way to go!”

  Rhonda smiled at Katy and waited for the applause to die down. “Katy will spend most of this show away with Dayne, but they’ll both be here for closing weekend.” She raised her eyebrows at Katy and Dayne. “Right?”

  “For sure.” Katy turned so she could see the crowd behind her and raised her voice. “You guys better make it good.”

  Another round of applause and it was time for Rhonda to get serious. That was always the hardest part of a CKT audition—keeping the kids focused when they were so wired they could hardly sit still. She started in about being courteous and not talking or leaving the room until the break between every ten auditions.

  Katy stared straight ahead, barely listening. Instead she was seeing a hundred other auditions that had taken place in this room over the years. The breathtaking performance by Sarah Jo Stryker that won her the role as Becky in Tom Sawyer and the audition she gave for Annie, the same night she and Ben, another CKT boy, were killed when a drunk driver hit the van they were traveling in.

  Katy recalled auditions by the Flanigan kids and dozens of others. Funny moments, like the boy who wore a swimming mask and sang “Rubber Duckie,” and tender times when one of the older kids lost track of the words and quit midsong, only to be surrounded by a group of teens with one message—love and acceptance in CKT weren’t based on performance.

  There was the time one of the girls had worn a mermaid-style dress that made her miss the last step up to the stage and topple over, unable to get up. As awkward as the moment had been for the girl, she fought through and became one of CKT’s stronger performers. Once shy, now the girl could laugh about the incident and how it helped her because nothing she would ever do onstage could be more embarrassing than that.

  Katy could see it all, every performance replaying in her mind.

  Rhonda clapped. “Okay, let’s have the first ten in the chairs up front.”

  Tim Reed—always one of the first to show up for auditions—was in the group of kids who made their way down to the front. He was seventeen, so he had just a year left for CKT even if the theater wasn’t being sold.

  Dayne must’ve sensed what Katy was feeling, because he took hold of her hand and leaned in a little closer.

  The first child onstage was an eight-year-old girl who didn’t look a day over five. She wore a midcalf black velvet dress with her blonde hair piled high on her head.

  As soon as she took her spot up front, the kids in the crowd let out a collective “Ahhh.”

  “Hi.” She grinned. “My name is Tatum Selby.”

  Rhonda smiled and held up her hand, quieting the kids in the audience. “Okay, Tatum, what’re you going to sing?”

  “‘Jesus Loves Me.’” The girl’s face lit up with a smile like an angel’s.

  Her voice was clear and beautiful, and all Katy could think was, where would a child like her find a place to perform once CKT was gone? Tears filled her eyes, and she willed them to stay put. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t cry today, that she would focus on the fun of the moment, the thrill of it.

  But the question remained.

  When Tatum finished, Tim Reed took the stage. He gave Katy a sad smile, a smile that told her he was feeling everything she was feeling. Not because he knew about the theater being sold, but because he had only a few more shows left before he’d be too old for CKT performances. Tim had been with CKT from the start, since Katy’s beginning with the drama group. This would be his first show without Katy.

  She returned the smile, and the pool of tears in her eyes grew. She gave him a nod, telling him that she believed in him completely. He could knock the song out of the park and be a leader among the cast whether she was here or not.

  Tim sang a ballad from Les Misérables, and from the first words, the room was electrified with his presence. He had taken voice lessons for the past year, and when his instructor told him to practice keeping his vocal chords together, when she gave him a host of silly-sounding exercises to perform daily, Tim had clearly followed her instructions.

  But it wasn’t only his voice that made Katy hold her brea
th. It was something more, a depth in his eyes that couldn’t be contrived. Bailey had complained that Tim wasn’t paying much attention to her these days. But Katy had talked to his mother before auditions.

  “Tim’s taking his faith much more seriously,” she’d said.

  That had to be the difference now. When Tim finished singing and left the stage, Katy had no doubt. There could be no one better to play Jesus in CKT’s Godspell than Tim Reed.

  Rhonda looked over her shoulder at Katy and raised her brow. Clearly she and the other judges were feeling the same way.

  Next to Katy, Dayne brought his head close to hers. “Jesus?” he whispered.

  “Definitely.”

  They exchanged a smile, and Katy allowed herself to enjoy the moment. The future looked bleak for CKT, but for the next ten weeks, she had a strong feeling something special was going to happen for Rhonda and Chad and everyone involved in the production of Godspell.

  She only wished she could be here to see it play out.

  Bailey had goose bumps on her arms by the time Tim Reed wrapped up his audition. She and a few of the other teenage girls jumped to their feet with loud applause as he finished and took his seat.

  She had a lot on her mind today. Her friend Marissa was still sleeping with her boyfriend, and something might be wrong with Ashley Blake’s baby. All that and she wasn’t sure what to do with her feelings for Cody. He was nicer than ever, still attending his alcohol classes and doing way better in school. And he had plans to leave for boot camp at the end of the summer. But something was happening between them, a connection that neither of them intended.

  With those thoughts fighting for position and leaving her little room to concentrate on her audition song, Tim’s performance brought everything into focus. He would get the part of Jesus, for sure. And how fitting, since he seemed a lot closer to God than before.

  When she sat down, she caught Cody’s look. He crossed his arms, and he seemed more distant.