Road Dogs

by Elmore Leonard

  John Dillinger would always be Lou Adams's favorite bank robber. Then Jack Foley because you had to give him credit, he was conscientious, never shot his mouth off, and made sticking up banks look easy. Lou threw in Willie Sutton because he was good conversation, famous for something he never said.

  Okay, here was Lou's question to the general public:

  You all have heard of Dillinger, Jack Foley and Willie Sutton. Now let's see you name three agents of the Federal Bureau of Investigation who are as well known.

  He'd give the general public J. Edgar Hoover, And you can have his sorry ass. Now try to name two more. You like Eliot Ness? Me too, only he wasn't FBI. Let's see, how about Melvin Purvis? Your general public thinks about it and says, 'Melvin who?'

  Jesus Christ, he's only the guy who said to John Dillinger coming out of the picture show, 'Stick 'em up, Johnny, we got you surrounded' and Dillinger took off. Melvin Purvis held his fire. Three agents on the scene shot at Dillinger and he went down for good. It was never revealed which agent actually killed him. The same year, Lou said, 1934, Melvin Purvis was named the most admired man in America. It galled Hoover to the point of his forcing Melvin Purvis to resign. It was Melvin Purvis's buddies gave him a chrome-plated .45 as a farewell present, the same pistol Melvin Purvis used in 1960 to blow his brains out.

  And that's where we are, Lou Adams said to his buddies. Who the fuck's Melvin Purvis? The good guys fade from memory while the bad dudes catch the public eye and become celebrities.

  Lou believed with all his heart he should get some attention before he retired. Look here, will you, I'm one of the fucking good guys. Will you watch what I'm doing? I'm gonna dog Jack Foley till he robs a bank. I mean it, take my leave, thirty days is all I need and put that sweetheart away for good.

  He saw a prison guard no, two of them over there unlocking the gates to let Foley out. It got Lou Adams sitting up straight behind the wheel. He watched Foley come through the gates and turn to give the hacks a wave So long, boys, no hard feelings showing the kind of ass-kissing sweetheart he was.

  Lou got out and walked around the front of the Crown Vic he'd put through a car wash at 8 A. M. Came all the way around to lean against the right-side front fender and fold his arms, the way he'd seen himself doing it all morning, looking directly at the double gates by the administration building, to the right of the cars parked ahead of him in the row nearer the fence. He watched Foley come out past the cars to the aisle where Lou was waiting, watching him from a hundred feet away, watching him stop, Foley looking this way at Lou holding his pose, Lou reading Foley's mind now and saying to him, I told you, didn't I? Well, here I am, buddy. Want me to drop you somewhere? He watched Foley raise his arm and Lou raised his, a couple of old pros taking each other's measure.

  Only Foley wasn't looking at him.

  His gaze was down the aisle and Lou turned his head to see a car coming, Lou standing as a Ford Escort went past him, a woman with dark hair in a red Ford Escort, nice-looking. Now he saw the car from the rear slowing down, coming to a stop where Foley was waiting, Foley raising his arm again and looking right at Lou as he got in the Escort. Lou didn't raise his this time, hurrying to get in his car the Escort out of view circling behind him but there it was again, leaving the prison grounds. No need to hurry, he could keep it in sight.

  The main thing was Foley saw him. It was the whole point of Lou being here this morning. Like telling Foley, See what I mean? Every day of your life I'm gonna be watching you. If Foley ever stopped to talk he'd tell him in those exact words: every fucking day of your life. Foley wouldn't believe him. How could he maintain a watch like that on one man, around the clock?

  When he came up with the idea of how he'd work it, Lou told himself, You're a fucking genius, you know it?

  He recalled now it was Foley's ex-wife Adele owned a Ford Escort. Divorced him while he was at Lompoc and here she was giving him a lift. The one Foley must've known he could count on. Honey, can you pick me up when they let me out of prison? Why sure, sweetheart. The kind of broad you could talk into doing whatever you wanted. At the office they had pictures of Adele in tights, nice jugs, taken when she was working for the magician, Emil the Amazing, disappeared from a cage and got sawed in half. Nice-looking broad, the dark hair, pure white skin, five-seven and about 140, plump compared to Lou's ex-wife Edie. A year ago divorced him and moved to Orlando with the two kids. Edie said because his job was more important to him than his family, why he was never home, and when he was all they did was argue. Man, women. They all had problems they imagined or made up. They didn't get their way they told you to take a fucking hike.

  He'd get his Foley file out of the glove box and look up Adele's address in Miami Beach, on the south end of Collins Avenue, if she was still living there. Stop by and find out what she was doing with Foley, as if he didn't know, the guy fresh out of the can. She must still like him. Lou remembered she was not bad at all; he'd seen surveillance photos of her when they were looking for Foley, but only in person once: at Foley's trial, the first one, this nice-looking woman biting her nails waiting for the verdict.

  Chapter SIX

  THEY WERE DRIVING SOUTH NOW ON THE TURNPIKE, ADELE telling Foley about the polyp on one of her vocal cords. The doctor asked me if I'd been screaming at anyone lately or doing a lot of singing. I'm not supposed to raise my voice or talk to anyone I can't touch. Adele turned her head and they were grinning at each other. So you'll have to hold me while you tell me about life in prison and what the guys are like. She reached over to touch his face and said, Boy, do you look good. Why don't we stay home, have a few pops and I'll fix us something?

  Foley touched her hair and laid his hand on her bare shoulder in the sundress, Adele holding the Escort at seventy all the way to where they left the turnpike and cut over toward Miami Beach. He told her about Cundo Rey, the rich little Cuban, about Cundo being funny, Cundo being sneaky.

  Adele said, Don't trust him. This was even before he told about Cundo putting up thirty grand for his appeals lawyer, another few thousand for his ID and the plane fare to the Coast.

  This time Adele said, Why, because you're pals? Come on.

  I'm staying in one of his homes, Foley said, while I work on an idea. I'm thinking of moving to Costa Rica.

  And do what?

  Get into something. Game fishing I don't know, maybe land development, real estate.

  Move to Costa Rica and sell condos.

  It's the new place to go, Foley said, when you aren't making it at home. Get in on the ground floor.

  Adele said, You want me to tell you what you're gonna be doing sooner or later?

  I've had jobs, Foley said. I sold cars one time.

  That you stole?

  You want to nag, Foley said, or have a nice time?

  They stopped in front of the Normandie and got into another conversation. Foley had to see a guy and wanted to take Adele's car. Drive up to Dania, not far, have his picture taken and meet Cundo's guy who was making him a driver's license.

  Instead of taking the time, Adele said, to do it the right way. What's the hurry? You went to Lompoc I said that's it, I'm getting a divorce. You said, 'Honey, I can do seven years standing on my head and I'm out.' Remember saying that? Yes, he did. Remember what I said?

  You said you weren't getting any younger.

  I was twenty-nine going on thirty. My husband is about to miss the best fucking years of my life standing on his head. But you can't wait a few weeks to get your own license. You do it the hard way because you've learned to think like a convict. Get it from some guy around back when you can walk in the front door. But you can't help it, can you?

  I don't think like a convict.

  You don't? Adele said. Look at the people you've been living with the past ten years. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. He gives you money too?

  I'm getting a prepaid credit card.

  For how much? Like it's any of my business.

  Three thousand. He's pay
ing a grand for the license I'll use at the airport for ID. I'll get a regular license once I'm out there.

  He pays your way, Adele said, he owns you. Don't you know that? Now you want to take my car a hundred and sixty thousand miles on it I'm driving to Vegas the end of the month. My mom got me a job at the Hilton dealing blackjack. Her boyfriend's one of the executives, an older guy. She tells him, 'I can't lie to you, Sid, I'm no spring chicken, I'm forty-three years old this month.' She was fifty-five when she started working there. Mom got me the job telling Sid I have magic hands with playing cards. I can do the Hindu shuffle, the double lift, the glide not that I'd use any of them. Adele and Foley smiling again, thinking about her hands doing magic things. Adele said, You don't have a license but you'll take a chance with my poor car.

  Foley got out and went around to Adele's side, brought her out of the car and kissed her on the mouth, mmmm, keeping it tender, not trying to stick his tongue down her throat and started to grin, feeling good.

  What's funny?

  I'm trying to show prison hasn't turned me into a sex fiend.

  I don't mind a little rough stuff, Adele said, as long as it isn't nasty.

  Foley said, I'm coming right back. But I'll call you once I'm up the road. Just in case.

  In case of what?

  Lou Adams.

  He wasn't far behind. Lou circled the block and checked the alley looking for the Escort, came around to the front of the Normandie and stopped between the two no-parking signs. The last time he came by, not more than four years ago, there were old ladies sitting on the porch in a row. They were gone, the porch was gone; the building now had a jazzed-up fatade that looked like shelf rock across the ground floor, the Normandie having gone condo. Now you walked into a vestibule of mailboxes and a list of tenants. Lou saw Adele Delisi 208. Not A. Delisi or A. Foley, Adele Delisi, using her maiden name.

  Through with being married to a bank robber.

  Except he was upstairs with her.

  Fresh out of stir and she can't say no.

  Well Lou held the door for a couple in their eighties coming out, the woman in a big sun hat and one of those toy Mexican dogs on a leash, the little doggie looking way up at Lou, the couple taking time to have a look at Lou themselves, in his dark business suit and tie, his wavy hair combed and parted, and approved of him on the spot. The woman said, Dear, can I be of assistance, help you find someone? in that soft, almost Brooklyn accent Lou recognized right away.

  He said, Katrina blew you all over here from New Orleans, didn't she? He heard the woman ask how he knew that, surprised, Lou already pushing through the glass door to the lobby inside, letting it swing back on the couple in their eighties and heard the Mexican dog yelp, the sound coming like a tiny scream. Lou heard it, but his mind was set on Adele Delisi now, recalling photos they had of her, zooms, taken on the street, remembering Adele as a good-looking woman and thought of her that way, as a woman with something to her, not just a girl. Though he had nothing against girls. Riding the elevator to the second floor he was anxious to see her up close.

  Adele opened the door in her favorite robe, this one a short, silky peach, Adele still wearing her heels to give her long legs another few inches. She'd sipped a vodka martini while she changed, in the mood for some fun with her ex. Why not? They still loved each other and always would.

  Only it wasn't Foley, it was the FBI.

  Special Agent Louis Adams holding his blue and white Federal Bureau ID in front of her saying, If I'm not mistaken, you're the former Adele Foley?

  Yes, I am, Lou. And I believe you're the one who was at the prison. Jack got in the car, he said, 'That's Lou Adams back there.' Adele gave Lou a cute shrug. And here you are. You followed us thinking Jack would be here, didn't you? He said you were out to get him and he couldn't understand why. I can't either, but I can tell you you're wasting your time. Jack Foley swears he won't ever rob another bank, and I believe him.

  I'd be out all night and come home, Lou Adams said, my wife Edie'd want to know where I'd been. I tell her, Jesus, I was on a stakeout all night and she'd say, 'It seems to me I've heard that song before' half-singing it in her slow, sexy voice. She always had kind of a hoarse quality to her voice, like Janis Joplin. I told her it was from smoking and drinking bourbon late at night.

  Were you on stakeouts?

  I was. I was with the Criminal Division Gang Squad working sixty-hour weeks and she walks out on me.

  And blames you because you worked late, Adele said. You sure she didn't have a boyfriend? Girls named Edie who drink bourbon late at night have boyfriends. She said, I'm sorry Jack isn't here. Give you two a chance to talk.

  Edie, Lou said, did not have a boyfriend.

  You looked for one?

  I looked into the possibility. And, Lou said, I'm done talking to Foley. I'll always have him in my sights and he knows it, wherever he goes. No, you're the one I came to see. Lou's gaze moved past her into the apartment. But I am curious

  The phone rang.

  If you wouldn't mind telling me where he went

  The phone rang.

  I'd appreciate it.

  Let me see who that is, Adele said, excuse me. She turned and stepped to the portable phone on the coffee table, the phone ringing again, twice, Adele taking her time if anyone cared to notice how cool she was before picking up and saying, Yes ?

  Foley said, What were you doing? and said, Oh, Lou's there, with you.

  Adele said, Who? No, I'm sorry you have the wrong number.

  He's heard that one, Foley said. It's okay. I may as well talk to him, if that's what he wants.

  Adele turned her back to Lou Adams in the doorway.

  He said he came to see me.

  When he saw I wasn't there. I'm gonna tell him I'm at the airport, about to leave. I'll call to check on you when I'm through here. The guy's almost finished.

  After he talks to you, Adele said, you don't think he'll want to hang around and talk to me? In my baby doll lingerie?

  Tell him you have a headache.

  She said, You haven't changed a bit, have you? turned to Lou Adams and held out the phone.

  It's for you.

  Tell me so I'll know, Foley said, why you're dedicating your career to putting me away. Because you mouthed off and had your testimony thrown out of court? I never scored two hundred banks and you know it.

  Lou Adams's voice said, You through?

  Is that why you're pissed off? You blame me 'cause you didn't get your way? You start yelling when you were told to step down? Now you through? You have a bug up your ass on account of me, and I'd like to know why. 'Cause you're a hardnose, you're always right? How about if we had a fistfight and I let you hit me a couple times, get it out of your system.

  We could have a gunfight, Lou said, stead of fists. Yeah, I'd feel better, but I'll settle for putting you away.

  Lou, I did banks. I'm not a desperado, a public enemy. I was convicted and did my time. Why can't you accept that?

  So what're you gonna do now, Lou said, get a job at a car wash? Bag groceries at the supermarket? Tell me what you're gonna do, I'd like to know.

  You ought to see a shrink, Foley said. Find out why you're fucked up.

  'Cause I'm asking what you plan to do?

  Foley said, Lou, I'm at the airport, about to get out of town. You understand what I'm saying? You're not gonna ever see me again. Okay? So take it easy and I will too.

  Jack?

  Foley took a moment to settle down. What?

  You think I won't find you?

  Lou, I can go anywhere I want

  You're gonna rob another bank. You know it and I know it.

  Put Adele on.

  When you come strolling out, Lou Adams said, it doesn't matter where the bank is. It could be in fucking Alaska, I'm gonna be there waiting for you.

  Foley said, Will you give Adele the phone?

  Lou handed it to her and Adele turned her back to him saying, Yes ? Listening for a time and s
aying all right, okay then, before telling him, Hon, have a safe trip.

  Lou said, You still care for him.

  Of course I do.

  But glad you're not married to him. Knowing he'll do another bank and end up back inside, 'cause he can't help himself. Am I right? I wouldn't rule it out, Adele said. It's too bad, you get to know Jack he's really a good guy. Girls love him. Lou allowed Adele to take him by the arm to the door, still open, Adele saying, Girls find out he robs banks, they get turned on. And he is good-looking, you have to admit. But say the girls find out he holds up liquor stores? It would turn them off, or they'd be scared to death of him.

  That's true, Lou said. There's something about bank robbers, the way the general public imagines them as cool guys. Why is that? When nine out of ten are bums, deadbeats, owe car payments or need a fix. Guys who'll never in their life get ahead of the game.

  Lou stepped through the doorway and turned to Adele.

  What I'm wondering about now, what kind of ID Foley showed to get through all the airport security. Lou said, His mug shot? Tell me how he buys a ticket, with a credit card he swiped? Now he was looking at Adele, almost up to him in her heels. She smelled good.

  I know he's still around here, Lou said, so I better keep an eye on the Normandie, huh? There's a fella at the airport can look at his computer and know if Foley's on any of the flights going out of Miami International. I can sit home watching TV, Foley's name comes up on a passenger list, I get a call and I know where he's going. I told the security guy, you're working with the FBI, partner. You see Foley going somewhere, you're on the trail of a criminal happens to be America's foremost bank robber.

  Adele said, What do you get out of making his life miserable?

  I hope that's what I'm doing.