Severed Bonds

by R S Penney

  She noticed Ben leaning against the wall with arms folded, staring off at nothing at all. The man looked more than a little uncomfortable, though Anna supposed she could understand why. From what she understood, Ben hadn't parted ways with the Keepers on the best of terms.

  “Hey!” Anna called out.

  Ben stiffened, then glanced in her direction and flashed that winning smile of his. “Lenai,” he said. “I was wondering when you were gonna show up. All the stress finally turned your hair white, I see.”

  When she got close enough, Anna took his hands and gave them a gentle squeeze. Whatever differences they had in their politics were not enough to take away her sadness at what Ben had been through. True, he'd made a mistake six years ago, but he had also made up for it a hundred times over with acts of valour that would put even the bravest soldiers to shame.

  In response, people treated Ben like a common criminal. It was no wonder the man wanted out of this life.

  Anna leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I'm sorry it didn't work out,” she said. “I wouldn't be standing here if you hadn't saved me from that Death Sphere in New York.”

  He was smiling, his face flushed as he tried his best to avoid eye-contact. “That's what us hero types do,” he replied. “Besides, I seem to recall you using that Death Sphere to save me from a pretty nasty-looking robot.”

  “Letting you walk away was a mistake.”

  “It wouldn't be Larani's fist,” Ben said. The bitterness in his tone told her that she didn't want to press him on that point. She wasn't sure what he had done to lose Larani's trust – Keli had only said that it had involved some attempt to interrogate Isara without authorization – but she knew there was a pretty good chance they wouldn't see eye to eye on this issue.

  Anna took a step back with her arms crossed, shaking her head as she let out a soft sigh. “As mistakes go, hers are pretty reasonable,” she murmured. “Larani's got nothing on the queen of screw-ups.”

  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Harry approaching. The man let out a grunt as he drew near. “Glad you could make it, Anna,” he said. “Melissa was really hoping you'd stop by.”

  “You should have seen her, Harry,” Anna said.

  Harry craned his neck to stare at her, blinking slowly as if confused by what she had said. “On the raid you conducted?” he asked. “Melissa wouldn't say much about it. Only that it had gone well.”

  That made sense; the girl was probably worried about stressing out her father when he was still recovering from his injuries. Poor kid. Anna remembered what it was like to have a symbiont at such a young age. The expectations, the impossible standards that you held yourself to. The need to prove that you were worthy.

  Glancing toward the pack of teenagers in the grass, Anna narrowed her eyes. “Your daughter was magnificent,” she said. “As skilled as people who've been doing this job for fifteen years, and Harry, she kept people alive. Both our team and the enemy soldiers.”

  Harry replied with a sheepish grin and shook his head slowly. “That's my girl,” he said. “Always looking out for other people.”

  “Where's Jack?” Anna inquired.

  “He left about ten minutes ago.”

  “Why?”

  Ben was hunched over with his hands in his pockets, smiling and shaking his head. “Seriously, Lenai, you can't figure that one out?” he grated. “Jack left because he thinks you wouldn't want him here.”

  That felt very much like a splash of cold water in the face. She had never wanted Jack to stay away from their mutual friends. A part of her thought that should have been obvious, but of course, it wasn't. Not for a man who would take any excuse to find fault with himself.

  And how might that man react when the person who always saw the good in him tells him that she wants him to stay away? It had never occurred to her when she lashed out at him, but hearing that from her of all people must have confirmed Jack's worst fears about himself. Suddenly, she felt sick to her stomach. Before she even realized it, she was walking to the edge of the patio.

  “Where are you going?” Harry called out.

  Anna winced, trembling as she stifled her guilt. “To fix one of my many mistakes,” she answered. “Save a slice of cake for me, Harry, and tell your daughter that when I get back, her friends are gonna hear all about what a bad-ass she is.”

  Chapter 7

  A bright purple moon cast soft light down upon a narrow suburban street that was sandwiched between two sidewalks where trees stretched for the starry sky. Streetlights came on when the motion sensors detected her presence.

  Anna walked in the middle of the road, hugging herself and rubbing her arms for warmth despite the muggy air. The chill she felt had nothing to do with temperature. She had wanted to put this off a little while longer.

  On her left, a wide gap between two houses opened into a park where two Vadluc goalposts stood on either side of a grassy field. A series of benches on the sidelines were positioned under tall, black lampposts, each one bathed in a cone of light.

  This is the place.

  She wasn't sure how she knew; the most logical thing would be to call Jack and ask to sit down and talk, but something – an intuition – had led her to this place. It was only a five-minute walk from Harry's house. There was no reason for Jack to come here. Anyone else would just go home. Except she knew that Jack liked to sit quietly under a night sky when he was feeling unhappy.

  Biting her lip, Anna shut her eyes and felt thin strands of hair fall over her face. She gave her head a shake, flinging them away. “You went and got yourself into this, Lenai,” she whispered. “Time to get yourself out.”

  She went into the park.

  Sure enough, Jack was sitting on one of the benches with his back turned, bathed in a cone of light from a nearby lamppost. Had he noticed her? He seemed to be focused on some trees on the other side of the field, but that was the problem with Keepers. Spatial awareness meant you could never really tell if they had failed to notice your presence – possibly because they were distracted – or if they were just ignoring you.

  Anna slowly came up behind him with her arms hanging limp, her eyes fixed upon the ground. “Jack?” she asked, rounding the bench. “Is that you?” Of course it was, but that seemed like the thing to say.

  He looked up with a glum expression, his eyes widening just a bit when he saw her. “Hey…” the word was strained, forced. “Did…did you want to use this bench? Because I can go if you want.”

  Bleakness take me.

  He was afraid of her! That wasn't feigned nervousness; he was really afraid. Damn her consistent failure to think past the end of her nose. She should have realized that this would happen.

  Anna smiled, her cheeks burning. That last comment left her feeling pretty stupid. “No, I don't want you to go.” She spun around and sat down beside him. “I'd like to talk if that's all right.”

  “Sure.”

  “Why did you leave the party?”

  Jack closed his eyes, visibly calming himself for an awkward moment before he spoke. “I just had a few things to take care of,” he said. “Some files Larani wanted me to review before our next meeting.”

  “And you chose to review them in the park?”

  He wrinkled his nose as if he smelled something awful, then shook his head. “Yeah, okay,” he muttered. “As polite excuses go, that one's right up there beside 'Cough, cough, I have the flu.' ”

  Leaning back on the bench with arms folded, Anna looked up at the heavens. “You left because of me,” she said. “You were afraid that being around me again would be too hard, weren't you?”

  “No. Not at all.”

  That stunned her.

  When she ventured a glance in his direction, he was watching her with those deep blue eyes of his, and she felt butterflies in her stomach. Bleakness, what did it mean that he didn't find it hard to be around her? “I wanted to see you every day,” Jack said. “Each and every day, I wished I could talk to you.�
�

  That eased some of the tension. Companion have mercy, this was why she found it so hard to be around him. All he had to do was get within five paces of her, and suddenly her whole world was thrown off its axis. With everything else on her mind – Bradley, her sister, the deteriorating state of galactic politics and the feeling that she had to somehow find a way to hold it all together – she couldn't handle this. She had to be sharp.

  But it seemed that Jack wanted her in his life. And she felt a little guilty for taking some relief in that. “That must have been painful,” she said. “I'm sorry you had to go through that.”

  “Why are you being kind to me?”

  The question felt like a punch to the face, and for a moment rage flared up. But she took the five seconds necessary to think past her urge to snap at him, and she realized that it hadn't been intended to cut. His tone…

  Jack wasn't being passive-aggressive; he really wanted to know.

  No, it wasn't a punch to the face. It was a knife in the gut that twisted and twisted until her insides were shredded. Somehow, she had convinced Jack that he meant nothing to her, and that made her want to cry.

  Closing her eyes, Anna shuddered as she took in a soft breath. “I'm sorry,” she said, patting his knee. “Jack, I'm being kind because I care about you. I know I haven't done a good job showing it…”

  “It's not your fault,” he said. “I was a jerk.”

  “No, you weren't.”

  Jack stood up and took a few steps forward, standing with his back turned. “I tried to reconnect before you were ready.” His shoulders slumped. “I should have given you the space you needed. I'm sorry.”

  Anna forced out a laugh, unable to suppress the sudden grin she felt. “Maybe we both made mistakes,” she murmured. “But I never wanted you to avoid your friends, and I realize that I do want you in my life.”

  “That's good to know.”

  “I'm not ready to delve deep into everything that happened,” Anna said. “I'm still kind of processing it. But I would like it if you came back to the party.”

  He turned to face her with one hand in his pocket, head hanging as he let out a sigh. “Yeah, I guess it's time I left Sargent Hunter's Lonely Heart's Club Band,” he teased. “It pains me to say it, but our last album was way too commercial.”

  “You're coming then?”

  He gestured to the path that led back to the street. “Lay on, MacDuff.”

  The party was fun, though a little tame for his taste. Or maybe it was just that he didn't have much to say to a dozen or so teenagers. Anna and Jack seemed to be getting along – which was a plus – but they spent most of the evening with their heads together. Which meant Ben had to find his own entertainment.

  He sat in a chair on Harry's patio, his arms folded as he watched the starry sky. “Is there any chance you have a beer?” he asked his host. Only then did it occur to him that asking Harry to fetch things was a bad idea.

  The other man was in his wheelchair with his hands clasped in his lap, his attention focused on his daughter. “They grow up fast,” Harry murmured. “Just a few years ago, I would have thought the worst thing I had to worry about was pushy boys.”

  Ben wasn't sure what to say to that.

  He felt his mouth tighten, then shook his head. “You've got nothing to worry about, Harry,” he managed at last. “Your kid was born to do this. I saw how she handled herself against Isara. She's a true Justice Keeper.”

  “That's what scares me.”

  “Come on, old man,” Ben teased. “You've been hanging around Keepers for a few years now. You know they don't suddenly become different people when they Bond with a Nassai.” No…Instead, they remained the same people they had always been. Why did Nassai prefer to join with people who had sticks wedged so firmly up their asses?

  Harry watched Ben out of the corner of his eye; the man gave no outward sign of it, but Ben had learned to how to tell when someone was watching him. “So, you and I have a lot in common now…”

  Was that an overture?

  Ben knew about the other man's attempt to extract information from Isara – not so different from his own attempt to do the same – but he would have assumed that Harry was the kind of guy who liked to leave his mistakes buried. Should he say something? Make his feelings known. He had to figure that Melissa had told her father all about his outburst in Larani's office.

  The girl was standing in the grass now with a drink cradled in both hands, bathed in the light of one of the lanterns. Her young friend was with her, the kid with the short dark hair and the winning smile.

  “Isara,” Ben said.

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Harry leaning over the side of his wheelchair with a stern expression that probably made his kids hop to attention. “Normally, I'm the kind of guy who says that a prisoner's rights are sacrosanct,” he began. “But that woman isn't human!”

  Setting his elbow on the arm of his chair, Ben curled his fingers into a fist and put his chin on top of it. “Tell that to Larani Tal,” he said. “Normally, I would agree with you, Harry, but these aren't normal circumstances, are they?”

  “Still…I wonder…”

  Ben leaned back and folded his hands over the back of his head, shutting his eyes and breathing deeply. “You wonder if we made the right choice?” he asked. “I'd be lying if I said it doesn't keep me up at night.”

  “So, why did you do it?”

  Why indeed? Ben had gone over it a hundred times in the two months since Larani had revoked his access and told him in no uncertain terms that she had no further need of his services. Best he could figure, he wanted to save the world. “Why did you?” he asked in response…

  The other man slumped over as if he couldn't bear the weight of his own shame. “Because she…” Harry's voice was hoarse, his words so soft you might have thought you'd imagined them. “She…”

  “She pretended to be Jena,” Ben said. “And she pushed your buttons.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Don't feel bad; she pulled that crap on all of us.”

  Harry doubled over, pressing a fist to his mouth and coughing up a storm. “So, you really are done?” he asked. “After everything we've been through, you're just gonna walk away from the team?”

  A frown tugged at the corners of Ben's mouth. “Afraid so,” he said, getting out of the chair. “There's nothing left for me here anymore. Good night, Harry.”

  Getting home was easy enough: a five-minute walk down a residential street to the nearest subway terminal and then a quick ride to his own neighbourhood. By a stroke of luck, Ben lived fairly close to Harry.

  The train car was well lit with maps of the subway system hung on the white walls and soft blue seats on either side. Suspended over a mag-lev track, the train was whisper quiet and so steady you almost wouldn't know you were in motion.

  Ben sat with his hands on his knees, frowning as he stared at the maps along the opposite wall. You're walking away from everything, he cautioned himself. Pretty soon, they're gonna stop inviting you to parties.

  The train came to a stop.

  Double doors slid open, allowing him to step onto a platform with blue tiles on the walls and more maps of the subway system. There were coffee dispensers, but it was too late for stimulants.

  Ben shuffled across the platform with his head down, letting out a soft sigh. That's how it works, you know, he thought, continuing his silent lecture. Look at the disapproval on their faces every time they ask why you walked away.

  A set of steps led up to the street, and to his surprise, he found a woman leaning against the railing with her arms folded. Tall and slim, Keli wore white pants and a blue, sleeveless top. “Tanaben,” she said.

  Ben shut his eyes tight, hissing as he tried to calm down. “What do you want?” he asked, starting up the stairs. “No, scratch that. The more important question is 'how did you find me?”

  A smile revealed Keli's pearly-white teeth, and she bowed her head. “I should th
ink that would be obvious,” she said. “Spend enough time with someone, and you get a sense of their mental flavour.”

  “So, you tracked me.”

  The woman shrugged and turned her head to look up at the street corner. “Mental flavour isn't enough to track someone in a city this big,” she said. “But I knew that Harry was having a party.”

  Grinding his teeth audibly, Ben stared her down with such intensity you might have expected her to catch fire. “So, you stalked me,” he said coldly. “What's this about, Keli? If Larani sent you to bring me back into the fold, you can tell her-”

  “Please, Tanaben,” Keli said. “Do you really think I'd do anything for that harpy?”

  He turned and marched up the steps with one hand on the railing, pausing when he reached the street corner. “Then what is this about?” he demanded. “It's late, and I'm not in the mood for a verbal sparring match.”

  Ben wasn't a Keeper or a telepath; he couldn't just sense the movements of people around him, but his ears told him that Keli was coming up the stairs behind him, and she was getting uncomfortably close. He had to restrain the instinct to reach for the gun he no longer carried. She could kill him by other means if she really wanted to.

  On this particular street, he found small, two-story buildings with white walls and store-front windows that looked in on fabrication stations and community centres. There was a tool library where residents of this neighbourhood could borrow anything from a hammer to an anti-grav skid.

  Through one window, he saw a human-shaped robot standing in the middle of the repair centre while smaller, spherical robots floated around it and scanned it with bright blue lasers, and through another, he saw two teenagers sitting at a round white table and playing a late-night game of Sackae.

  Keli sauntered onto the street corner with a great big grin on her face, shaking her head slowly. “Tanaben, you've got me all wrong,” she insisted. “I only want to talk. Hear me out, and I'll be on my way.”

  “What do you want to talk about?”

  “Your future?”

  Glancing over his shoulder, Ben narrowed his eyes. “My future,” he said in a cold voice. “I thought I made it clear to all of you that my future wasn't going to involve any more life-threatening danger or public service.”