Craving Control (Black Shamrocks MC Book 6)

by Kylie Hillman

  Apparently, my approach was too subtle. She was supposed to volunteer to accompany me.

  Before I can broach the miscommunication, the valet taps on my window. I open my door, hand him the keys, then head around to the other side to open Maddi’s door. The car speeds off, and I lead Maddi inside.

  “Taylor, table for three,” I tell the hostess.

  Maddi steps in front of me. “It’s actually O’Brien, table for four.”

  “Right this way.”

  As we follow the hostess, I drag Maddi in close and question her. “Why four?”

  “Benji’s taking a support person to Melbourne with him. It’s pretty standard nowadays when a player has multiple offers on the table,” she replies in a rush. “Since he’s heading to the airport straight after dinner it made sense to bring them with him.”

  Her deliberate evasion makes sense when we reach our table and find Benji and Mik Kennedy waiting for us. They both stand and greet Maddi with a hug. Mik slyly gives her a kiss on the cheek when Benji reaches across the table and shakes my hand.

  Since he moved in with us, he’s been on his best behaviour. It’s nothing short of a miracle—one that leaves me watching him like a hawk. His true motivations will surface soon.

  “Benji.” My voice is gruff when I speak. I lift my chin in Mik’s direction. “Strange choice for a dinner date.”

  “Figured he’d be good to have at the negotiating table,” Benji replies with a laugh.

  I run my gaze over Mik. He’s dressed in his usual clothing. Leather Black Shamrocks MC vest over a short-sleeve T-shirt that shows his tattooed arms, dirty jeans that have definitely seen better days, and heavy, black lace up boots that need tossing in the bin.

  “Nice to see he cleaned up for the occasion.”

  All pretence of social etiquette disappears from Benji’s face, and he snaps at me, “Yeah, well he is who he is. Unlike some people who like to pretend they’re upper class when they’re really lower than a snake’s belly.”

  With a chuckle, I pull out Maddi’s seat and urge her to sit with a hard hand on her nearest shoulder. Mik and Benji take their seats, and I follow suit. After a quick look at the menu, we all place our orders. An awkward silence ensues until Benji leans across the table in front of me and monopolises Maddi’s attention.

  Taking Maddi’s closest hand in mine, I lean back in my chair, and wait for the ambush to commence. I don’t think Maddi had a hand in this set-up, however it is obvious that Benji and Mik are up to something. It is not an act of fate that we’re having dinner with them both tonight.

  Nothing happens. Mik just stares at me, his unblinking eyes filled with malice. After a bit, I glare back with my own hatred on display.

  He smirks. I grin at him.

  Our meals are delivered to our table, and we barely break eye contact while we eat.

  Maddi is tense, the hand I’m holding twitches every so often, a solid indicator of her nerves, even as she feigns preoccupation with Benji’s tales. Her twin seems oblivious to anything other than his food and making his sister laugh. Mik is an open book, his pages filled with jealousy, desire, and a little bit of guilt. And, I’m having the time of my life.

  There’s nothing I enjoy more than watching people try to pretend that I’m not affecting them. The more awkward I can make things, the further I can push them, the better. I relish moments like these—having been taught by the master how to use silence as a weapon.

  Mik is close to breaking. He has something he wants to say. It’s burning the tip of his tongue, and I’m waiting with bated breath to hear it when Benji’s discussion with Maddi catches my attention.

  “When do you start work?” Benji asks.

  Maddi kicks him under the table to shut up. He raises an eyebrow and glances between Maddi and Mik.

  Hmmm, something’s going on.

  When Mik breaks our staring contest and shoots a worried glance in Maddi’s direction, I have the confirmation I need.

  “Did you find a job, Lainey?” I enquire. The three of them stiffen at my use of Mik’s nickname. Idly, I wonder when they’ll actually notice that I only use it because they continue to react to it. They really do make it too easy to get a rise out of them sometimes.

  Guilt floods Maddi’s face and she drops her gaze to her plate. I tighten my grip on her hand, squeezing with painful intent until she meets my eyes. “I thought I told you that you don't need a job. I told you I’ll take care of you.”

  “I’m, um, going to work at one of the Shamrocks, um, workshops. It’s really good money, and I can do it during hours that suit me.” Maddi hedges, dancing around the details. Her evasions spike my rage. There will be hell to pay if I find out she left the house today to organise this. “I don’t want to burden you with my stuff, especially now that your grandfather’s sick and you’ll need to be home more often.”

  She’s a terrible liar. I bare my teeth at her, and she offers me a conciliatory smile in return. Fear clouds her face when I keep her waiting for a reply. I see straight through her—Maddi doesn’t care that she’s gone against my wishes. She only worried that I’m going to lose my cool in front of her brother and Mik.

  I’d hate to disappoint her. “That’s not your problem, darling girl. I think you should defer and come home with me until granddad finishes his treatment. I really don’t want to be separated from you.”

  The bogus smile she was giving me droops at my suggestion.

  Let’s see how she plays that trump card.

  “Why the fuck would she defer her degree to hang around your fucking farm?” Mik decides to add his thoughts to a matter that doesn’t concern him.

  I’ve had enough. Today has been one for the records books. An emotional rollercoaster—and I’m ready to get off.

  Addressing him in my best society voice, I shoot down his interference with a volley of insults framed as a question. “Why would she choose to hang around a dirty biker workshop with a group of ill-bred criminals, instead of with her boyfriend at his award-winning farm, should be your oh-so-eloquently-put question.” I stop and sneer at him. “You wouldn’t understand how a real relationship works since we all know you only associate with women with loose morals. Lainey goes where I go. I go where Lainey goes. End of discussion.”

  I throw my napkin down on my half-eaten dinner. Once I’m standing, I gesture to Maddi to follow me. She scrambles from her seat, gasping in shock when I continue my tirade. “I’m done with this. If you two would still like a lift to the airport, we’ll drop you there now. Otherwise, feel free to enjoy your dinner and then call a taxi.”

  This is when I make my second error for the day. Stalking away from the dinner table, I don’t check to see if Maddi is following. Instead, I head for the valet and order my car to be brought around.

  Maddi doesn’t come straightaway. Every atom in my body wants to walk back to the table and drag her out of her, except I know it will have repercussion I can’t control. If I manhandle Maddi in front of them, the chances of getting her back to my farm will become less than a snowflakes chance of surviving Hell. My father’s ultimatum has left me stuck between a rock and a hard place. One wrong move will send her running straight into Mik’s arms, and I don’t think the threat I hold over Benji’s head will hold up to too much scrutiny if it was more closely examined.

  Maddi is a too loyal for her own good, naive eighteen-year-old.

  I can bluff her.

  Mik, on the other hand, will be savvy enough to thwart any attempts I make to out Benji’s drug use to potential football clubs or the media. I doubt he’ll be subtle about it, either. Broken bones and a busted face loom large in my future if I lose my control before I get them on the plane to Melbourne tonight.

  Seconds after my decision is made to return to the table and apologise for my outburst, I spy Maddi leaving the restaurant with Mik and Benji. They reach me at the same time as the valet.

  “Hey,” Maddi greets me in a breezy voice. “I know you’re stressed ou
t about your granddad. Let’s drop these two at the airport and head home for a quiet night?”

  Her suggestion is understated. It gives me the out I need and proves, once and for all, that Maddi is a master manipulator. I seize on the opportunity she’s provided me to get rid of the two men standing next to us.

  The quicker they’re gone, the quicker her lesson in compliance can commence.

  “Great idea,” I reply, too brightly. “Airport, home, then bed.”

  Maddi shrinks into herself. She knows exactly what I’m eluding too.

  TWENTY-FIVE

  Pulling the car into the driveway, I switch off the engine and get myself out of the vehicle before the tenuous hold I’m struggling to maintain on my control lets go.

  I spent the entire drive, from the restaurant to the airport and back to the house, stewing on everything that’s happened today. Me and Maddi have had four perfect months together. We were happy. She was listening to me, heeding my instructions, and I could trust her as much as I allow myself to trust anyone.

  Benji moves in, and in the space of a week, I’m on the verge of losing everything. Maddi. My father’s protection. My inheritance.

  There’s only one person to blame.

  The wilful woman who’s currently hurrying up the front walkway behind me.

  Her inability to follow simple directions is at the heart of every problem I’m currently facing.

  I don’t care how long it takes, or how hard I have to be on her, Maddi will learn how to submit before the sun rises again tomorrow.

  “Move it,” I mutter under my breath when she fails to take the first hint I gave her to enter the house in front of me. I wave her inside and she steps into the house in front of me with obvious reluctance.

  Slamming the door shut behind me, I shake my head in disbelief when Maddi darts out of the entry and into the living room. My stride is determined, my hands shaking with the need to take hold of her, as I follow hot on her heels.

  As usual, she is oblivious to anything but her own needs. Maddi hangs her handbag and drops her head. Her posture telegraphs her despondency. I can’t find an iota of sympathy for her.

  My fingers bite into her arm and I swing her around until she’s facing me. Her hair falls free and a sandal slips from her foot. Her eyes widen, surprise at my attack stripping all colour from her face. I grab her by the throat and squeeze. The moment my fingers cut of her oxygen supply, I realise that this is no longer a game.

  If she pushes me too far, I can see myself killing her tonight.

  Maddi’s pulse quickens beneath my fingertips, and she makes a choking sound.

  “You made a fool of me, Lainey.” I spit the words at her from between clenched teeth.

  Lifting her until she’s no longer touching the ground, I hold her in the air and regard her through eyes that are blinded by a red veil of rage. Her beauty no longer affects me. I need more than the physical from her. I want to reach inside her chest and tear out her heart. I need to feel it struggling to beat in my grip, her very survival held at my mercy in the same way she controls mine.

  Panic overtakes her body. Her eyes bulge, and she claws at my hand. Her nails break the skin, leaving bleeding trails in her wake. I don’t feel anything except the burning desire to hurt her. She kicks me in the shin, hard enough to break through the red haze, and I backhand her across the face.

  The pain in my leg is enough to galvanise me into action. I loosen my grip on her throat, returning her to her feet, and steering her backward down the hall to our bedroom. She gasps for air the whole way, tripping over her own feet, and barely keeping her balance.

  After we cross the threshold to our room, I lift her in the air and slam her onto our bed. She hits hard, bouncing in the air and landing sprawled on her side over the heavy wooden frame. She screams, the sound echoing off the walls and I let it wash over me like a gentle wave in a calm sea.

  I don’t know why, but the beast in my head chooses now to make a reappearance and his first command is to lock the door. I press the button, trapping Maddi inside this room with me, before I sit on the ugly, antique rocking chair Maddi insisted on putting in our room. I remove every item of clothing I’m wearing with methodical movements, all the while my attention is focused on Maddi.

  She’s more than ten feet from me, yet I hear every open-mouthed, whimpering breath she takes. Her breathing is shallow, an obvious ploy to get me to stop. It won’t work. The time where she could appeal to my better side has come and gone.

  I’ve been too easy on her and it’s led us into this situation.

  Standing tall, my erection juts out proudly from my hips. Maddi bites her bottom lip and whines louder.

  “Would you shut up,” I bark. Her theatrics are really getting on my nerves. “You deserve everything you get tonight, so stop crying about it. Disobedient slut.”

  Maddi hushes when I tell her to, but it’s not enough. Her whimpers continue, and she weeps quietly on the bed. I grab her by the ankles and drag her toward me. She screams, an agonised symphony that hurts my ears, the entire time I’m moving her. Her weeping picks up pace and she offers little resistance to my manhandling.

  Letting go of her ankles, I place my hands on my hips and inspect her. She’s a mess. Hardly an opponent worth getting so worked up over. Yet, I can’t stop—any tether I had on my demons has snapped. I’m at the mercy of my own dark desires as much as she is.

  “Please, Brendan. Don’t. Not tonight. I think my ribs are broken,” Maddi pleads.

  While it would explain her screaming, I can’t bring myself to care. By the time I’m through her ribs will feel like a mosquito bite. My hands work fast, undressing her like a rag doll, exposing her ample assets to my greedy gaze.

  I’ve had her naked numerous times since her birthday, yet every time I see her body, she’s takes my breath away. If she could just learn to listen, Madelaine O’Brien would be the perfect woman.

  Spreading her legs, I smirk when she doesn’t put up a fight. Her bald pussy is visible. Her tight heat begs for my attention. I move to guide my cock inside her when another idea enters my head.

  When I had her mouth, she barely trembled.

  When I fucked her pussy raw, she cried a little.

  If I take her ass, will she give me the fear she seems intent on denying me?

  Spitting on my hand, I wrench her legs open wider, and rub my saliva on her back entrance. My unexpected touch brings her back to life. Maddi kicks at me with all her might.

  “Stop,” she screams. “Never there.”

  I persist.

  Maddi continues to fight.

  My frustrations become unmanageable, so I change tact.

  “You need to learn that I'm in charge, Lainey. When I say no job, I mean it. When I say you’re deferring and coming home with me, I mean it. When I tell you to stay away from that dirty biker, I mean it. Why do you constantly need to defy me? It would take one phone call to my father to get your pathetic motorcycle gang locked up.”

  She gasps, my new threat breaking through her hysteria. I roll her over onto her stomach, push between her flailing legs, and try to force my cock into her ass. Her frantic movements and tight hole make it impossible to penetrate her.

  “Do you want me to send the pictures of your druggie brother to every news outlet in Australia right now? You do realise that it's draft week, my dumb useless slut? Not the best week to piss me off, you would think?”

  Maddi stiffens momentarily when I berate her again. I seize the opportunity and throw my whole weight on to her. She squirms beneath me, bucking her hips every time I think I’m about to breach her body. I try one final time, half expecting to break my dick if I succeed, only to be thwarted be Maddi’s unrelenting struggles.

  “For fucks sake.” I yell. “You're totally useless.”

  I toss her back into her original position and climb on top of her. Straddling her waist, I vent my frustrations on her face. Three times I punch her. Three times I feel her bones br
eak. She bleeds after the first strike, her beautiful face ending up covered with blood by the time I’m done.

  My monster is out of his cage. He’s unrestrained, the modicum of control I normally try to maintain has vanished into thin air. He’s completely free. Dizzy with excited and hellbent on destroying the woman beneath me.

  I feel the same. Untethered. Wild. Ready to annihilate.

  As soon as the thought floats into my mind, I realise that I’ve had it all wrong.

  He’s not just in my head.

  He is me.

  I am him.

  We are one.

  “I’m starting to believe that you’re never going to learn how to behave.” I lecture Maddi in a voice I’ve never heard before. It is monotone, devoid of human emotion. Spiteful. Mean. Terrifying. Demonic. “You’re such a slut. It's obviously in your worthless DNA. I don’t know why I bother with you.”

  My hand closes around her neck again. I press my knees into her misshapen ribs and crush her. At the same time, I squeeze her throat tighter. Maddi bucks beneath me. She flicks droplets of blood onto my face as she tries to break free of my hold. I continue to choke her, waiting until she’s almost succumbed to unconsciousness before backing off and letting her breathe again.

  She’s whimpers, tears flowing from her eyes and washing away some of her blood.

  I’m toying with her.

  With rough movements, I drag her by her throat over to the desk by the window. It’s messy, filled with open text books, pages of scribble, and a dozen other bits of unnecessary clutter than Maddi swears hold sentimental value. I’ve asked her a dozen times to keep it clear, but she only listens for a day or so before it’s back to overflowing with her junk. I twist her around until her back is at my chest, then I let go of her neck and take hold of her by the nape. Slamming her face first into the desk, I throw my head back and roar when she shrieks with pain.

  If she’s listened, that wouldn’t have hurt half as much.

  Maybe now she’s learned her lesson?

  I doubt it.