by C. M. Albert
I stood at the front of the room next to my mom’s friend. I was grateful she could do this for us with such little notice and on Christmas Eve. Everything had fallen into place, and I wouldn’t have wanted it to be any different, even if it were an option.
Ryan stopped in front of me, and he and Olivia had a silent exchange before he squeezed her hands, kissed her on the cheek, and then turned to me. He clasped my hand and went in for a half-hug. “Remember what I told you, Kerrington,” he whispered.
“Never sleep with your wife?” I joked.
“Don’t hurt her, or I’ll kill you. I mean it,” he said, then smiled broadly, his white teeth splitting his dark brown beard.
“You have my word.”
Ryan sat with the rest of my family as the officiant began reciting the vows we’d written. We mingled promises from traditional vows with our own words, then sprinkled in some Celtic poetry to honor my family’s heritage. We used “commitment” instead of “marriage,” even though we all knew I was marrying Olivia with my entire heart and soul.
She placed a simple titanium wedding ring on my right ring finger, and I added a thin band in eighteen-karat white gold that matched her engagement ring from me.
When we were done, the officiant closed with, “By the powers vested in me as an ordained minister of the Universal Church of God, I now pronounce you formally committed and bound to one another under the laws of natural and heavenly love. You may now kiss your lifelong partner.”
Everyone stood and cheered as I pulled Olivia close, wrapping an arm around her waist. She flushed prettily in front of our small audience before I leaned her back and kissed her like I meant it. Cheers erupted and my family surrounded us in a swarm of hugs.
It was the happiest day of my life.
We broke bread on the dining room table I’d built over the summer. It sat twelve and was more than enough room for the adults in our family. We sat the kids at the smaller table we brought in from the kitchen. Paige’s older boys weren’t amused at being placed at the kiddie table, but one stern look from Vic and they stopped protesting. Cheers erupted from Becca’s younger kids, and we couldn’t help but laugh. My mother and sisters made a lovely Christmas Eve dinner, and we stayed longer than we intended, enjoying ourselves as my family got to know Olivia and Ryan. There were a few small snafus as they tripped over how to refer to each of us in our unique relationship. We all laughed, knowing we’d have to get used to this, but I think we were all glad the kids were at a different table for that part of the conversation.
Sometime after midnight, we crossed the yard and headed home. I carried Olivia over the threshold of the backdoor where we once crossed hand in hand, the night we all first made love—not knowing what was in store for our future from that one small choice. For me, it was the best decision I’d ever made. I couldn’t help but wonder if Ryan felt the same way.
Ryan chose to sleep downstairs with Stitch on our wedding night, since we couldn’t have a modicum of privacy with family filling my house. I asked Ryan to stay with us—it only felt right. But he declined, insisting that a wedding night only came around once, and Liv and I needed this time together. It was easy to trust his wisdom, so I took advantage of the privacy and made love to my wife well into the morning. As long as I lived, I would never forget the way Liv’s back felt under my hands as I unzipped her pale pink wedding dress and shrugged it from her body. She had gained weight with the baby and was filling out in all the right places.
I helped her take down her bun, laughing at the number of bobby pins it took to create such a loose, seemingly low-maintenance hairstyle. She stood before me, as naked and vulnerable as she’d ever been, trusting me to love her in all the ways I’d promised before god.
There are some things that are kept private between a man and his wife on their wedding night. It was a sacred evening that brought us closer than I ever could’ve imagined, so I knew I’d have to thank Ryan someday for his wisdom. As we lay in bed talking as the sun came up, I felt Olivia go completely still, then her hands went to her stomach. She sat straight up, and I immediately went into panic mode.
“Liv, what it is? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing! I felt the baby kick, Brighton. Here, feel.”
She placed my hand on her abdomen, on the left-hand side. I waited for what felt like forever, but to no avail. “What a little stinker!” she said, laughing. “It was such a solid kick.”
“Did it hurt?” I asked. There’d been so much I didn’t know about or think to ask with Caroline.
“No, I loved it,” she admitted. “It’s a sign of life. I’ll never take one kick for granted.” Olivia lay back down and rolled over, scooching her butt back so she was the little spoon to my big spoon. I wrapped my arms around her waist and snuggled against her back, burying my face in her hair. “You may want to watch how you’re bouncing that curvy backside my way, Momma.”
“Oh yeah? Or what?” she teased.
I never had time to answer, because right then the baby kicked again, and this time there was no mistaking it. “I felt that!”
Olivia placed her hand over mine and we lay there as the morning sun rose on Christmas Day, feeling our baby kick for the very first time.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ryan
“RYAN! I HAVE good news!” Olivia said, bounding down the stairs on Christmas morning. Well, technically, it was closer to Christmas afternoon, but I let it slide since they were still in that honeymoon phase.
“Merry Christmas, baby.” I stretched my arms out for her, and Olivia sank into my embrace. I rested my chin against her head and inhaled deeply. Christmases would change forever once kids got here. I couldn’t wait.
I’d dreamed of staying up late with Olivia after the kids went to bed, with music playing softly in the background. We’d be setting up god knows what—maybe a Barbie DreamHouse or a Matchbox racetrack. I couldn’t help but think about how Laelynn would’ve been one this year. Probably walking and getting into everything under the tree. I never imagined anyone else being with us on Christmas Eve as we prepared the magic, but maybe having two dads would be a bonus when we were in the toddler phase.
“Merry Christmas,” she said back, grinning up at me. I lowered my head and kissed her good morning, just as Brighton walked into the room.
“Merry Christmas,” he said groggily, scratching his head. “Any coffee yet?”
I slid his mug across the counter, made just the way he liked.
“Thanks, honey,” he joked. He took an appreciative swallow. “Mmm. You’re the best house husband a guy could ever hope for.”
I snorted, keeping my arm draped around Olivia. “What are your plans today with your parents?”
“Well, they want to spend the day with me, obviously. It’s been a while since I’ve been home—and forever since I’ve seen my nieces and nephews. I don’t expect you guys to spend all day over there unless you want to. I thought maybe I could show my dad around the house and talk renos and such. The guys and Paige will want to watch football. And I’m sure I’ll lose Kendra to the library.”
“Yeah, sounds like fun, but we’ll pass. We usually head to the cemetery on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning. We didn’t yesterday because of the wedding. So maybe we can do that today, Liv?”
The color drained from her face, but a determined look flashed in her eyes and she nodded. The difference in how she responded today versus six months ago was evidence of her healing. I was so fucking proud of her for continuing to fight every day now, instead of retreating into herself.
She kissed my cheek again, then went to pour a small glass of the pomegranate juice she’d been craving lately. The doctor seemed to think it was a good thing, all these weird cravings she was having. She hadn’t had as many with Laelynn.
“Can we meet you for dinner instead?” I asked. “What time did you say they were serving up?”
“I’ll check when I get over there, but I think six maybe?”
“Sounds good. You hungry?”
“Famished,” Brighton said, stretching his arms over his head in the air. He was padding around in an old pair of buffalo plaid pajama pants, with no shirt on. If I didn’t love the guy so much—and feel so secure in Liv’s love for me—I might’ve been a little jealous of the eight pack that defined his stomach, and the deep V that led to the drawstring of his pajama bottoms.
I watched as Liv’s eyes traveled down Kerrington’s torso and rolled my eyes. “I’d say to get a room, but I think you’ve had enough for one day.”
Brighton grinned, wrapping his arms around Olivia from behind and kissing her neck. “Whatever do you mean?” he asked innocently. “And can you ever really have enough? It’s Christmas morning, after all. Don’t be a scrooge, Wells.”
Olivia leaned back against his chest, unconsciously reaching back for him. I watched as Brighton ran a trail of kisses up her throat, while never breaking eye contact with me. He lifted his hands and cupped Olivia’s breasts, pinching her nipples through the lacey pajama set she was wearing.
I groaned, setting down my coffee. “So, it’s gonna be like that?”
Brighton winked at me as he slid his hands down Olivia’s sides, finding the hem of her nightgown. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I stalked over to where they stood, eager to have her back in my arms again. He’d had her all night. It was my turn, too.
Liv moaned my name, reaching out for me as Kerrington’s fingers found their way home. And just like that, my Christmas morning got a whole lot better.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Brighton
WE LOST A good hour after our morning shenanigans, but I was living the dream and having the best Christmas ever. Things got a little out of control in the shower when Ryan and I were kissing. It was the first time we allowed our hands to roam each other’s bodies—we usually stuck solely to Liv. Even though it started innocently enough—I’d grabbed the soap, lathered up my own chest, and then used the rest to wash Ryan’s tight abs—it shocked me how much I enjoyed feeling his skin beneath my fingertips. It didn’t go any farther, but it opened a new level of trust and intimacy between us. We felt freer to embrace and explore during our kisses after that. I found kissing Ryan was much different than Olivia—Ryan having been my one and only experience ever kissing a dude.
I loved the way his beard felt rough against my face. It made me want to go harder on the kiss every time. His tongue was warm and sensual, but it was bigger, more demanding. Even when Liv was in control in the bedroom, she was softer. Ryan just took with confidence. The more we kissed, the more I was left with a wanting I didn’t understand. He got a little handsy when I pressed deep inside Olivia. I didn’t know what it meant, but the shower walls fogged up, and we all needed a shower after our shower.
After we dressed, I handed them each a small bag with their Christmas gifts. “Here, got you guys a little something for our first holiday together. I didn’t know how big you went, so it’s just this. I hope you like it.”
“Thanks, man,” Ryan said, unwrapping his first. I’d gotten them both brand-new Apple watches. After Olivia got hit by a car while running last summer, and us needing to get to the ER this autumn when she was admitted after her fainting spell, I just felt better knowing we’d all have access to call one another or 911 if we needed help.
I explained as much as I walked through the features with Ryan. “This thing tracks your sleep, monitors your heart health, reads like an ECG, makes phone calls, and streams music.”
“This is awesome,” he said. “I can’t wait to set it all up.”
“Yeah, we’ll have to go for a run and try it out during the break.”
Olivia opened hers while we looked on. Hers had a gold watch face and pink sand–colored band, while Ryan’s was space gray and black. “It would’ve matched your wedding dress if I’d given it to you earlier,” I teased.
“The perfect bridal accessory,” she said, laughing. “Thank you.”
“There’s one more thing,” I said, taking her hand and leading her from the room. “I have a wedding gift I meant to give you yesterday. It’s downstairs.”
“Brighton! This is too much.”
It would never be enough where Olivia was concerned. I’d spend the rest of my life spoiling her rotten if she’d let me. When I’d purchased this surprise for Liv over the summer, I never could’ve dreamed it would one day be my wedding gift to her. Back then, it was a desperate attempt to show my love for her in the only way I might’ve been allowed.
When we got to the guest bedroom, I put my hand over Olivia’s eyes. It brought back memories from the first day I’d met her, leading her into my uncle’s library for the first time. I knew as an interior designer she would love that room as much as I did, and I wasn’t wrong.
Ryan walked over to the windows and pulled the heavy curtains back, looping the tiebacks around them so they’d stay put. Stitch was running around our feet like a maniac, happy to have all three of us back downstairs. He did not like the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs, but we felt it was better to get him used to it now so that when the baby came, he wouldn’t associate being kept downstairs when the baby slept as a negative thing or a punishment.
I removed my hand and leaned forward, whispering in Olivia’s ear. “Open your eyes.”
She was completely silent, and I worried maybe she hadn’t loved the “king and queen” stained-glass windowpanes as much as she’d suggested at Babalu’s when we were there last summer. Ryan and I decided to hang them in the window facing the side yard. It let in a lot of natural light and would brighten the muted blues, greens, and yellows of the faded glass. The center image on each held a torch with lilies winding up it, and Olivia had fallen in love with them instantly. The antique windowpanes were too exorbitant to use in a house I’d meant to flip, but I had Olivia in mind when I asked Louie Brightbeck, one of the owners, to secretly stash them in my trailer before we paid out and left.
Olivia spun around now and flung herself into my arms. “God, Brighton. I can’t believe you remembered these. I love them.”
I ran a hand over the back of her head as she burrowed into my sweater. Her body jerked a little, and that’s when I realized she was crying. Ryan and I exchanged frowny faces, and I hugged her tighter. “Why are you crying? They were supposed to make you happy.”
“They do!” she choked out. “I just—I really love them. I can’t believe you got these. I think it’s just my pregnancy hormones.” She rubbed her face on the sleeve covering my bicep to wipe her tears away. “I need to run to the bathroom. This baby has no respect for my bladder.”
“By all means.”
Oliva stood on her tiptoes and kissed me. “You really get me,” she said before dashing from the room to hit the upstairs bathroom.
“Good job, Kerrington. I think you’ve won the record for the number of times you can make Liv cry for sentimental reasons in one day.”
I cracked my knuckles and raised my eyebrows. “Don’t underestimate me. The day has just begun. Besides, I’m not the one taking her to a cemetery on Christmas Day, Romeo.”
He grew serious, pursing his lips. “Today’s going to gut Liv, so you need to be prepared. We haven’t visited Laelynn’s grave that often since the funeral. And her parents are buried there, too. But, yeah, once the baby comes, we’re going to have to do this on a different day. I don’t want Liv sad and depressed on Christmas every year around the kids.”
“Kids?” Brighton asked. “You’re already thinking of brothers and sisters for Baby T?”
Ryan ran his thumb over his bottom lip and nodded. “We always talked about having three kids. But with each loss, that seemed impossible. We talked about adoption or maybe using a surrogate. But after Laelynn, she shut down so hard. I knew it would be a long time before I could even broach the subject of having babies again.”
“Guess god had other plans.”
“Yeah, his intentions were good, but his timing
sucked. I feel like someday our daughter’s gonnna want to know which one of us is really her biological father. It’s not an ideal situation, but I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“Me either. I haven’t said it often enough, Ryan, but I really look up to you. You’re the husband I hope I can be someday to Liv.”
“Oh, so you think if you can’t hit her today with more sentimental tears, you’re gonna pull me down instead?” he joked.
“I mean it. I’ve never known a stronger, more loving partner. The way you love her is inspiring—and brave.”
“Look, our marriage wasn’t perfect. You know that.”
“Nothing is. I’m sure in ten years we’ll all be grateful to have the extra house next door for when one of us needs a breather.”
Ryan chuckled. “It is awfully convenient. Though I think we seriously need to rethink whether you keep it or live here. It seems crazy to maintain both houses when you’re always over here anyway.”
I considered what he was saying, and he had a point. It was something we’d need to think about long-term. “Where do you see us in ten years?”
Ryan leaned back against the dresser and crossed his legs at the ankles. “For starters, I hope by then we’re all living together here, under one roof.”
I nodded. It would create gossip, but our family was priority number one.
Ryan ran his hand over his beard, contemplating our future. “I hope by then our daughter has two more siblings—if it’s safe for Olivia. I’d really like us to consider planning the next two pregnancies, so we each have a chance to be a father.”
“You’ve thought about that?” I honestly hadn’t.
“All the time. I know we’ll both love this baby no matter what, but I think we’ll always wonder. And we both deserve the honor of biologically fathering a kid one day.”
It made sense. “Think Liv will be up for two more?”
“Guess we’ll find out.”
