Here Be Sexist Vampires

by Suzanne Wright

  “Chico, David, Salem – get him now!”

  Thorns, a psionic blast, and a psychic punch came at Butch from different directions...but all of it hit the shield.

  Last but not least...

  “Damien!”

  I was very surprised when he didn’t hesitate or lick his lips nervously; this was the first time I had seen him sure of himself. So sure of himself that his dark skin wasn’t shimmering with sweat. He blinked hard and then, suddenly, his astral self was lounging on the floor in front of Chico, giggling in exhilaration.

  With that, the eyes of every recruit concentrated on me, all of them keen to jump for joy but desperately wanting my approval first. I made them sweat by keeping silent a few seconds. “Now you can do a sing and a dance,” I said with a smile.

  They practically did. Butts wiggled and arms shot up toward the sky, and I heard plenty of whoops and an ‘Oh yeah baby!’ and an ‘Alright!’ as they revelled in their own accomplishment.

  Then they were all heading toward me.

  “Oh no you don’t,” I warned them, one finger pointing at them. They appeared to be ignoring it as they were still coming at me. “Don’t you dare!” Too late. I was scooped up by Reuben and hung over his shoulder while he bounced. “This is a bit dramatic!”

  I ended up with some of Denny’s ooze that had been dripping from Harvey now in my hair. Not so happy about that.

  I heard cheering and clapping from the spectators’ box. I looked up. Evan was smiling and nodding, impressed as he called out ‘whoo’ and clapped. He was also alone.

  “I don’t know what to say,” Evan said as he reached me and we began a slow walk out of the arena en-route to the apartment block. The recruits were still celebrating their glory further on ahead of us, heading to their own apartment block by the looks of things.

  “You could say something flattering,” I suggested light-heartedly.

  “I just...I never expected them to be in such control. It took my squad a long time before they reached that point. Don’t take that the wrong way, I’m not saying that I didn’t think you were capable -”

  I interrupted before he tripped over his words. “It’s alright, I know what you were trying to say.”

  “I’ve got to ask: you’ve been around my squad, right? Did you pick up any excess energy around them?”

  I bit my bottom lip. “Yeah,” I finally admitted. “And there’s a little around you, too, if I’m honest.”

  “Really?” He looked mortified though he was smiling. “I guess you’ll have to give me and my squad a lesson some time. You know, you’re a good coach. I take it you had a good coach to pick that up from.”

  My smile faded. “Not exactly.” Before he could ask for me to elaborate I quickly asked, “So did Jared decide not to stay and watch?”

  “He stayed to the end but then scarpered pretty quickly. Said he had somewhere to be.” His tone suggested he hadn’t believed that excuse. “Have you two had a falling out or something?”

  I giggled. “Jared and I have never had a friendship to fall out of. Even our business relationship is beyond strained. Antonio employing me hurt his ego. You must know how your brother cherishes that ego.”

  There was silence for a moment. “I don’t think it’s just that.”

  “You mean the fact that I ‘wouldn’t let him screw me’, as you so aptly put it during your telepathic conversation with him.”

  His cheeks reddened. “I can’t believe you heard that. Jared said absorbing some of his energy must have made you tune into it. He wouldn’t say much about the absorbing his energy part.” His tone was probing.

  “There’s nothing to tell. I was in a bad way after killing Victor, and Jared let me absorb some of his energy.” I shrugged as if to emphasise the simplicity of it all.

  “Well that confirms my suspicions.”

  “Suspicions?”

  “Jared doesn’t give anyone anything, let alone his energy. Like I said before, I don’t think his problem is just a wounded ego. I think he likes you, a lot actually.”

  I gave him a doubtful look. “I fail to see how you could make that conclusion when he barely speaks or looks at me. He asked me to join his consort collection, yeah, but that’s just about sex. He’s been sulking ever since I said no.”

  Evan pointed a finger at me. “But, see, that’s the thing with Jared. He’s never really liked a woman in more than a physical sense. So he doesn’t know how to handle it. He just knows that he wants you and probably thinks that if he screws you it’ll all make sense.”

  “So you’re attuned to him, are you,” I mocked playfully.

  “It’s a twin thing. Actually, when we were human we were really close. There wasn’t a part of his life that I didn’t know about, and vice versa. We did almost everything together.”

  “What changed?”

  “Jared.” He didn’t say it with bitterness or even disappointment, but understanding. “As soon as he was made Heir he totally changed. His ego was more inflated than ever before. He loved the attention and the respect and the rewards and the power that came with it all.”

  “So he forgot about you, kind of left you behind?”

  “Oh no, nothing like that. He wanted me to live the high life with him. He had the power to give it to me, he had the girls to share...but I wasn’t interested. He never took it personally, he respected that – even though he didn’t understand why – I didn’t want that kind of life.”

  “You are a bit of an enigma.”

  “I am?” He sounded amused.

  “I get that power and attention isn’t what you feel you need in life. But everybody feels that they need something; little or big. And yet you just plod along, but always smiling. Even though you’ve never been short of offers from women you’ve turned them down, though I’m told that in the very beginning you were almost as bad as Jared. I’ve never once seen you even harmlessly flirt with anyone. Should I assume that there was a woman from your human life who you can’t forget?”

  He smiled and then scrutinised my face. I got the idea that he was wondering how much or how little to say on the subject, whether or not he could trust me. I tried to assure him with my smile that he could.

  Finally he made a puffing sound and sat down on the lawn outside the rear of the Mansion. “You know Luther has visions, right?” he asked. I nodded and I sat beside him. “Has Antonio ever asked you if you wanted to have one via Luther?”

  “Yeah. I didn’t understand it, though.”

  “In mine, I was in the rainforest somewhere, and I was waiting really anxiously for someone, worried they were in danger. Then Jared and two women appeared, and I almost collapsed in relief. One of them had blazing red hair and pale blue eyes and the most amazing smile you’ve ever seen. My emotions in the vision weren’t very clear, but I could feel that she was mine. Since then, I couldn’t bring myself to be with another woman, it would have felt like I was being unfaithful. That might sound weird.”

  “No, no it doesn’t at all. You’re waiting for her. It’s really sweet.”

  “After time just kept dragging on and she never showed, I was starting to think that maybe she was never going to. That maybe I’d made some sort of decision somewhere along the line that had changed the future. But then you came, and you can’t imagine how much optimism flowed through me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You were the other woman in my vision. You and Jared brought her to me.”

  My eyebrows jumped up. “Oh.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, oh.”

  Well I really didn’t know how I felt about that.

  “Spooked?” he asked, amused.

  “Sort of. You’ve never told Jared about her,” I realised.

  “He wouldn’t understand. He’s always loved himself too much for anyone else to have a chance,” he added jokingly. It truly wasn’t an insult, more of a playful comment. He was so close to Jared and yet so far apart. It made me sad. “I knew that if I told him he�
��d laugh about it and say she must be a really good screw for me to feel that. I didn’t want to hear that, I didn’t want him to taint it.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell him or anyone else.”

  “I know.” It was said with utter confidence and trust. “You know that Jared’s a little unhappy about how much we talk and stuff, don’t you?”

  “My guess is he’s worried you’ll manage to get in my pants when he couldn’t. That would be a huge blow to his ego.”

  Evan laughed. “Yeah, it certainly would.”

  “But I’ve never once felt like you were coming onto me.”

  “In my vision, I could feel that I was relieved you were okay. That I cared about you just like a sister, the sister I never had. And I do, already.”

  “And I think of you as a brother.”

  His expression was so cheery. I guessed that hearing me say I felt that way was making everything click into place for him, giving him even more optimism that this girl would soon be in his life.

  “You didn’t say the brother you never had. So you had a brother? Any sisters?”

  “Nope. My mum and dad were workaholics, totally obsessed with the business they ran that didn’t even make any money, and they barely had time for me, let alone any other kids. I was a big disappointment to them because I wasn’t driven to follow in their footsteps and join the crappy family business. I have to say though it seems like an appealing future now, but no sense in dwelling.”

  “Hey, you’ve done okay for yourself in your new life. So far you’ve got the big job, the flashy apartment, the hefty salary. All that’s missing is the husband. Anyone wanting to be your husband would either have to be incredibly turned on by being challenged, or quite content to be submissive in every way.”

  “The latter wouldn’t be interesting.”

  “Well I know of one person who fits the first.”

  “Say your brother’s name and I’ll whip you senseless.”

  “I was going to say Max,” he giggled. “I’m not going to root for Jared when I know what he wants is for you to be a consort, you’re better than that.”

  “That’s what I said.” I was nice to hear someone tell me that there had been reason and rhyme to my choice. After the way Jared had overreacted I had occasionally wondered if I was being fussy or stupid because whether I was his consort or just a casual shag, the result was still the same; sex and nothing else.

  Of course Fletcher had supported my position but he also believed that I needed a good one-off shag to burn off all the aggression and horniness so he wasn’t all that bothered who that shag was, even if it was Jared. If Jared’s own brother thought he was being idiotic, then maybe I wasn’t being as harsh as Jared thought.

  Chapter Nine

  (Sam)

  The hammering at my apartment door switched my posture to confrontational. I could only think of one person who would be so pissed off with me that he would knock like the rent man. But when I swung the door open, my face a mask of aggravation, I was met with a scene that I would never have guessed at.

  “Coach!” crooned Denny.

  “Hey,” greeted Stuart.

  “I was kind of hoping we’d have got you at a bad time – like a naked time.” Typical Harvey. Max dug an elbow into Harvey’s ribs.

  “What’re you all doing here?” I asked.

  “Coming to get you,” said Max as if it was obvious. “All ten of us are going down to the Barcelona bar, and you’re coming with us.”

  “Isn’t the Barcelona a men only bar?”

  “Tonight was a big achievement for us, and we couldn’t have done it without all your training. We’re going out to celebrate, you’re our Coach, so you’re coming with us.” Max had said it like it was a mathematical equation.

  “I’m not sure whether I should be offended that you see me as one of the boys...?”

  “Don’t tell us you don’t want to get out of that apartment for one night,” said Denny.

  “We could always carry you there...” Max let the idea taunt me.

  “You wouldn’t dare,” I said.

  Max arched a brow. “Wouldn’t I? I’ve told you before, you have your authority during training but when we’re on our time it means squat.” He made a move toward me.

  “Okay, okay, I’ll go, I’ll go,” I said quickly.

  Max gave me a curious look, as if he couldn’t understand why I had caved so easily. The answer? I was naked under my nightgown. Not that I thought Max would cart me all the way to the bar in just my nightgown, but he would certainly pick me up just to prove the point that he was willing to do that if push came to shove.

  So I got dressed. I didn’t put much thought into it really. I just stepped into the black halter-neck dress and the matching shoes that Fletcher had picked, and then slipped on some fashion jewellery. With my hair left loose, I stepped out into the hallway. All of the squad were stood waiting. Each one stared and swallowed hard. Poor buggers didn’t have many female vampires around them on a regular basis.

  I couldn’t really understand why they wanted to go to an all-male bar as I’d always thought that part of the fun for blokes was to get themselves a girl. Denny explained that the drinks were cheapest in that bar so they always went there first to get hammered and then they’d move on to the unisex bars.

  I didn’t have any trouble getting in the bar; one look at my cleavage and the sound of the word ‘Coach’ and the fact that I was a female faded into nonexistence for the doormen. The inside was actually alright. It looked more like a club with its strobe lights, packed dance-floor and booming music. Despite it being chocker, it was easy enough to get a drink seen as the bar was eternally long.

  Max stayed close, a hand always on my elbow or my back. Chico repeatedly rolled his eyes at the sight, as if Max was trying too hard and making himself look desperate. I didn’t see it that way. Max was trying hard, sure, but what he was trying hard at was to show me that there could be a completely different relationship between us outside of work hours and it wouldn’t make anything awkward. I wasn’t sure if the fact that I didn’t want anything more than casual sex would be a letdown for him or the biggest turn-on ever. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to find out.

  I was overjoyed when I came across Fletcher and Norm. Again tonight they had been colourful in their choice of clothes.

  Fletcher hugged me tightly, asking, “How the bleeding hell did you get in here, it’s men only? Me and Norm just about get in.”

  “How do you think I got in?” I gave my boobs a little push.

  Fletcher laughed. “I told you a bit of cleavage works wonders, didn’t I?”

  “It certainly works for me,” said a voice into my ear. Max.

  “Hey Coach,” sang another voice. Evan. He assessed the dress and frowned playfully, giving me the big-brother look. “I should send you home to get some clothes on.”

  “Oh I beg you not to do that,” said Harvey to Evan. “The view is perfect.”

  Evan shot him a warning look. “Note that she is much too good for you.”

  “Harvey’s right, though, she looks absolutely gorgeous,” said Fletcher. “The only girl who has ever tempted me to go straight.”

  Max ushered closer to me but I shrugged him off. “Sorry, Slap-head, but I’m going.”

  “Where?” he asked, deflating.

  “To the dance-floor, of course. And anyone here who isn’t on that dance-floor won’t see me all night.”

  “Don’t think you’re leaving me behind,” said Fletcher.

  At first I was surprised that the entire squad came to the dance-floor with me, but after a while I came to realise that a big reason for it was because I was getting approached by a lot of blokes since I was the only female in there. Evan’s warning gaze served as a great deterrent to the would-be-drink-offering-blokes as well.

  I was dancing with Max when Evan spoke down my ear, “You probably won’t be pleased to know that Jared’s here.”

  My heart did
a little jump at the sound of his name. Maybe it was faulty. “I don’t care. He can go where he pleases, it’s nothing to do with me.”

  “Do you realise that that’s near enough the same thing he said to me telepathically that night when you eavesdropped?”

  I spun on my heel, giggling but offended. “I did not eavesdrop.” In truth, I hadn’t turned so that I could jokingly confront Evan. I wanted to get an idea of where Jared was. My senses reached out, alerting me that he was somewhere to my right near the bar. And not happy.

  “I was just letting you know he’s here.”

  I knew what he meant: be aware that Jared’s here and tone it down with Max or Jared might snap. I’d have disagreed, but Jared had told me telepathically that I’d saved Max’s life by saying no to him, though I never really understood why he was so mental over a bonk.

  “Look,” began Evan, “maybe you should pretend you’re going to the bar for a drink and let him approach you.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “Because I can feel that he’s riled.”

  So could I. That was the thing that got to me: I shouldn’t be able to sense his emotions so well. “It’s not my fault that Antonio wants me to lead the squad alongside Jared. I told Antonio I didn’t want to, he made it clear that it was an order.”

  “So let Jared approach you, let him bring it up, and then tell him that. Let him get it off his chest.”

  “Why should I reassure the plonker?”

  Evan sighed. “Please, Sam?” He very rarely called me that. “Yeah he’s a pain in the ass but he’s also my twin brother. Maybe once he’s got it off his chest you two can start behaving civilly to each other again…you know, like grown-ups do.”

  I couldn’t help smiling at that. I supposed it wasn’t very mature to snub your colleague when you have to see them and work with them every day. Plus, if we didn’t somehow sort this out how would we ever successfully lead the squad together? How could we ever protect The Hollow the way we were needed to?

  Evan kissed my cheek when I sighed in defeat. I then left it to Evan to keep Max out of the way while we tested this theory that Jared had something to say. As Evan suggested, I went to the bar and ordered a drink. I then leaned my back against the bar as if having a brief rest, and kept my gaze forward as I sipped on the red grape NST. Only moments later I felt Jared approaching. Felt his eyes, felt his annoyance...and God that scent.