Canyon Lands

by T J Reeder

  Charley was meeting up with them in Kayenta and would help them get to their people’s homes. All in all the whole mess worked out real well and we didn’t have to shoot anybody.

  Full of dinner and one too many cold beers and faced with the climb up to the house we headed home. We sat on the lip of the cliff with our feet hanging off into space and watched the flickering fires across the lake but tonight there was no gun fire, all was quiet and peaceful, we laid back and took turns spotting the satellites still racing across the distant skies, maybe still sending to receivers that no longer received, but what was there to send? If nobody was sending messages then the sat’s weren’t bouncing them to anybody…or were they? Hmmm. On that thought I headed for bed. When we got settled it sounded like the old Walton tv show..

  Gnite John boy,

  Nite Sarah,

  Nite Pa,

  Good night John…

  Well you get it..

  Sometimes they play this game for too long, with giggles, I’m usually asleep before they stop, sometimes they lay in bed and whisper back and forth about the craziest stuff, or so I seem to remember when I wake up, of course they say I was dreaming (laughlaugh…)

  We were eating breakfast when one of the kids ran up and said, “A stranger is coming!” Well that was news, so I trooped off with the kid followed by my Praetorian Guards, we watched a lone rider heading toward us about half a mile away, the rider was alone and seemed to know where he was heading.

  Sandy said, “She” I said, “Huh?” “She’s, a she John.” Now I know I never said a word about the sex of the rider out loud, but why bother bringing it up? (He’s getting smarter!!) (Yes he is!! See you can teach an old dog a new trick!” giggles). “I hate you!”

  “Do not!”

  “I could!”

  “Could not!”

  “Fine whatever!”

  “Oh that’s a good defense!!”

  “Shit,”

  “Stop cussing the baby can hear you!”

  “Oh bull shit!”

  “Smack”.. Ouch!!

  “Stop cussing, if the babies first word is S * * *t we will make your life miserable!”

  (“more then it is now?”).

  “YES!!”

  By now the rider was close enough to notice us in the shadows of the trees and headed right for us. She. (Fine you’re right).

  (No shit!) “Stop cussing!” “They say it’s too late coz I already taught the baby to say it. I give up.”

  The rider pulled up and sat looking at us, she was between 45 and 60, long blond going white hair, in a long braid with some feathers in it. She looked to be tall. She sat there, on what was with no doubt the best looking Buckskin horse I ever laid eyes on, just looking at us while we looked at her.

  Now I’ll admit it’s not often one sees a middle aged woman alone, riding a buckskin horse accompanied by a blue heeler dog.

  But one with a squirrel riding on her

  shoulder??? Now that is a bit weird.

  After we all stared at each other for a bit she said, “Howdy, my name is Vanessa, this is Romeo patting the horse on his neck, that’s Blue, original, I know and this is Nuts pointing at the tree rat.”

  Now I been to two worlds fairs and four black revivals and a gypsy road show but I never in my life seen anything like this!

  It took an elbow from May to pull my head out of my ass enough to introduce us. She nodded and said, “Yep, knew that.”

  I asked her if we could be of help. She said, “Yes you can, where’s the man you call Doc?”

  Ok that was a reasonable question so I sent the kid to deliver the FAK that I needed Doc here RFN (right fkn now!) The kid split and I asked if she would like to step down and have something to eat as breakfast is still in progress. She said, “After I see the Doc that would be good, thank you.”

  So we just looked at each other for several minutes until Doc arrived out of breath (note to Doc, get out more) He stopped and stared at her for a few seconds and said, “Uh you asked to see me?”

  She stepped down off the horse and yeah, she is tall, and stuck her hand out which Doc took. She said, “Well it took longer then I thought it would but I made it.”

  “Uh,” says Doc, “Made what where?” She said, “Well you did put out the call for a nurse, no?” He said, “Well I did mention it to John a while back and he sent out the word, right John?” Well now I was in deep shit, I forgot to follow up on it. She looked at me with strange grey blue eyes that definitely held secrets, like she was looking thru me or maybe doing an MRI of me. She said, “You forgot didn’t you?” I just nodded. Then I said, “No damn it I told the commo lady!” She just shook her head and sighed (wonderful another sigher).

  She asked Doc if he did or did not need a nurse. Doc kind of stuttered for a bit and said, “Well uh, yes.”

  Vanessa smiled and said, “Good! We can start in the morning! And breakfast smells good if I’m being offered breakfast,” she said with a raised eye brow at me.

  I felt like I did when I stuck Mary Jones pigtail in the glue pot on my desk and got caught by Miss Ugly Stick.

  Sandy spoke up and said, “Why sure come on in and set, breakfast is ready!” One of the older boys in the crowd offered to care for her horse, water and feed, she said, “Thank you, sweetie,” and smiled a real smile. Blue followed at her feet and Nuts stayed put. She looked at Blue and said, “Blue, with Romeo, be nice.” The dog immediately turned and followed the horse.

  We headed to the cooking area where Sandy did the intros and got Vanessa a plate and guided her thru the process of getting fed Canyon style, and chatting like all were old friends.

  She sat down and started eating then Nuts started making tree rat sounds so she gave it a piece of pancake with egg on it which it started eating greedily, then she poured a little water into her hand and it drank, weirder and weirder.

  After the tree rat was satisfied she looked at me and said, “Well John, do I get a cold beer or not? It’s afternoon somewhere! I hadn’t got any out of the cold cave before she arrived, it being early, so I headed off for beer feeling very strange. I’m used to the girls fkn with my head but this lady was a bit scary.

  I got back to see everybody laughing at something our visitor had said and even Doc was laughing, maybe a first, I have never seen him laugh and damn seldom smile. The talking and laughing went on so long one of the ladies jumped up and said she had to get to work on her dinner. That broke up the gab fest.

  I just sat and watched, all the girls had warmed right up to her and in some ways that was kind of off putting for me. But I trust the girls ability to separate bull shit from shinola so I wasn’t worried. She asked Doc what he had in mind for her as his assistant; Doc was paralyzed so I asked her to tell us about herself.

  We knew her name so, she told us she had worked in a private practice as nurse practitioner for a general practice Doc.

  When the lights went out she stayed until the shooting started then loaded all the meds she could and headed home, saddled her horse, loaded a pack horse with her gear and headed for the back country. She made her way by stopping in small towns and offering her abilities in trade for supplies and a place to hang her hat so to speak. And that’s how she lived since the EMP.

  I noticed she wasn’t armed and commented on it, she said her thing was saving lives not taking them, I was cool with that. Doc was kind of that way but he did learn to shoot and did keep a rifle in his mobile hospital; I can’t say he would use it but we trained him, using it or not was up to him.

  Vanessa said she had been from the west coast in Oregon to the Gulf and almost to the northern border and had never needed a gun. Hell I can’t take a shower without needing one it seems.

  I told Doc to deal with her and if he liked her creds she could stay and we’d find a place for her to live. The miners stay hard at it doing what they do so well and keep all sizes of hobbit houses ready and waiting for someone to move in and with nearly everything anybody wants or needs
to furnish their home at the fort, life is good.

  She said she was kind of a loner in a lot of ways and liked being away from the crush of crowds. Well we are a free society and she could do as she wished. She also asked who the head gardener was, Mable spoke up. Vanessa asked her if she had any medicinal or other herbs growing, Mable told her what we had, she said she had seeds for damn near every useful herb there was and would like Mable to help her getting them growing as soon as possible and to pray there was time to harvest and get them ready for use. Mable told her that she would show her the layout and what was growing and where there was room for more. They talked for some time about the healing powers of plants and herbs, some that most call a weed has the ability to heal or cure. Sounding more and more like another few greenhouses were going up. V looked over at me and smiled.

  Mable was all for growing any and all and learning about the ones she didn’t know about already. Soon they were off looking and planning like two old friends.

  Doc was looking lost, which I understood perfectly, so the girls took charge of finding a place for Vanessa to rest up and spend the night, in the trailer of course. She said she had traveled most of the night as it was cooler and was tired. After she and Mabel were finished talking about all they would need to get and do and looking at what we already had she was ready for some rest. After checking on her horse, who she talked to like a person, and feeding Blue she and Nuts headed to the trailer for some rest. Later the girls went to get her and all bummed dinner, with me providing beer, without having to be asked!!

  I slept great as usual and got up, got coffee going, showered and was air drying when I looked across the canyon at the high ground and saw the strangest sight. Vanessa was standing on a rock, facing the rising sun with her arms spread, head back a bit as if greeting the sun, her hair loose and blowing in the mild breeze, naked. Now as I’ve said skin is skin so it’s not unusual to see somebody sunning or swimming nude, but this seemed more of a Morning Prayer ritual and I think I’ve seen it before, one of the Indian tribes, maybe Northern Cheyenne?? Anyway, I felt like I was intruding so I headed inside and started a second pot of coffee, they were all smiling so I would bite my tongue off before saying a word, Of course I knew there was a cup for me, I just had to find it. Usually Beth had it hidden but I had an inkling they had switched out so I bent down and kissed May who busted out laughing and got my cup off the floor beside her recliner. All was well. I told them about the morning view, Sandy and Beth agreed it was Northern Cheyenne, May was thinking one of the Southern tribes, like the Mayans who were big time sun people. Regardless it was her private thing and we would respect it.

  To me she seemed a bit weird but then again, I’m a bit weird so what the fk. If Doc liked her and she knew her shit she was welcome as his nurse, if she didn’t she was still welcome and could find her own place in the order of things.

  We headed down the ridge for breakfast, my knees weren’t too happy with the climbing but it was good exercise so shut up and keep slogging.

  We found Vanessa and Mable in a deep discussion about herbs and such shit, I understand some green shit we can eat, other green shit will give us the shits. Grunt logic 101. “That which does not kill us can make us wish we were dead,” Or something like that.

  The girls were cooking so I knew we were having hot cakes and eggs with some kind of dead meat. I was hoping for bacon, Rabbit and hot cakes don’t go together, it’s just not right.

  I was wondering how Harvey and his clan was getting along with the “Pork Project” hell for all I knew the lil fkrs had all died. If we couldn’t raise them here I was going to take a reefer truck to Texas and fill it with the damn things! All smoked and cured.

  One thing them damn Texicans can do is BBQ, I think they do it so they can have an excuse to wear their pimped out BBQ guns but regardless they can cook a pig!

  The canned bacon supply was holding out thank the pork gods, now if it would just hold out until we are growing our own we will have it made, I’m betting when Harry and Bear and their clan get here one of them will know all about hogs. I know Bear can eat a whole one but that’s not what I call “knowing” about pigs.

  Doc wandered over and sat down with us and told us about his talk with Vanessa. He said she had a nurse practitioner degree as well as additional training in Herbal medicine plus a lot of back ground in Midwifery, which left me looking dumb or lost or both. May said, “Means she knows how to deliver baby’s,” we all looked at Beth who turned the cutest shade of pink.

  I said I figgered if we had Doc and Vanessa then having a baby should be a walk in the park. The girls and nearby ladies glared at me while Doc shook his head, I told him if he started sighing I’d shoot him.

  One thing bothered me, how did Vanessa know we needed a nurse to help Doc? I know the word never got out and it was just the other day, yet Vanessa seemed to have been heading here before that.

  I decided maybe I’d ask Charley to come visit and bring Old Woman with him and the sooner the better.

  Not that I’m paranoid but…well ok, I am paranoid, every time I slow down and look behind me something’s gaining on me. So fk it, I like paranoid, I think it’s a wonderful friend to have so bite me!

  My girls are looking at me all weird, Sandy asked who I was mad at? May asked who I was arguing with? Beth asked if I would like to take a nap? Doc started to sigh but I glared that idea away.

  I was just about to head to the commo shack when one of the commo ladies wandered up took the last bite of bacon off my plate and finished the coffee in my cup and smiling sweetly said she had gotten a message that Charley and Old Woman were coming for a visit. Now fuck the chill running down the spine shit! I got a freaking ice storm on mine!

  I’ve lived from border to border and been coast to coast and I have to say I don’t believe in other world bull shit! BUT every time I’ve been in the desert country there is some really strange unexplainable shit going on. I believe almost anything is possible out here, I believe if there were ever such a thing as a portal to other dimensions it’s right here in the desert. When I lived in the Mojave desert I saw… well not saw, but felt some really weird shit, I can’t explain it and don’t really want it explained to me, I’m perfectly happy just accepting whatever it is as long as it leaves me alone.

  So now I’m looking at my empty plate and coffee cup and watching the Commo lady heading back to the shack. I feel slightly abused. Beth leaned over and put a bite of bacon on my plate and May poured some of her coffee in my cup, Sandy leaned over and took the bacon and ate it. Love is a strange thing; they were all laughing at my expression. One of the ladies nearby called my name and tossed me a whole piece of bacon! I caught it one second ahead of Sandy who piled on top of me and chewed on my hand till I agreed to share.

  It’s like having pet Scorpions, some days they love you others they nail you. But we do provide comic relief to the whole community, feeding time is comedy hour for everyone.

  My girls are like teeny boppers of a certain age, full of mischief, fun, always ready for anything. But dangerous, very, very dangerous, especially at feeding time, they have no friends when it’s chow time.

  Well Beth is the exception, she’s the calm, warm one and while she might not shoot you as fast as the other two she can get the job done. Yep, dancing with snakes can be fun…. or not.

  Well since they heard Old Woman is coming all the women decided it was feast day (face it; every day is feast day around here). So they all got their heads together and started buzzing like bees with my ladies right in the middle of it all, so I wandered off with Joe and Willy to a shady spot where we talked about all the things we thought needed doing, of course we were just talking about it, not like we were gonna do it.

  Willy said one of the boys had found a wild bee hive that had about a ton of honey in it which seemed to me like a lot of honey or a lot of little boy “enlargement” but regardless we planned to visit it and what better time then now, so we rounded up several o
f the boys and headed off to see the honey warehouse. We walked maybe a mile twisting thru gully’s into a cleft in a rock wall where we watched a gazillion bees zipping back and forth, now one thing for sure, this wasn’t a job for us flat footed knuckle draggers, we would fk it up worse then Hogans Goat (I may explain that later) not wanting to die, I said we should back off and think about this.

  The boy who found the hive walked right thru the bees and out of sight and returned shortly with a chunk of honey comb dripping with golden goodness! Not so much as one sting!

  That did it! We headed for home and help, I figured maybe Old Woman could offer advice since she probably already knew the bees were here, hell she probably sent them.

  We spent the rest of the day staying out of the way and starving, the women were busy preparing a feast and couldn’t be bothered with something as simple as lunch. Well cool, I went to the cold cave, found some homemade cheese and a few cold beers and snagged some fry bread left from supper and headed for a shady spot.

  My cheese and bread lasted longer then the beer, “they” descended on me like Viking raiders looking for a sheep or whatever. I think I got a bite but I’m really not sure, I did get a beer except for the sip or two Beth took, the rest disappeared followed with very loud unlady like belches. Then they were gone with kisses and head pats and “thank you daddy for the lunch!!”