Canyon Lands

by T J Reeder

  I love these three fiery women and none is so much as an inch ahead of another in my heart. Now all three are smiling at me, how do they do that? And right then while my hand lay on Beth’s tummy I felt a small movement!

  It almost scared me and I started to move my hand as a reflex but Beth held it in place and smiled at me with tears in her eyes.

  We are going home and no more wandering off to fight wars, at least for a while, like several months.

  That evening after we were all settled in from dinner and showers, laying in our bed I told Sandy and May about feeling the baby move, that started a stampede to get next to Beth and both laid hands on her tummy.

  Sandy laid her head on it and said she could hear a tiny voice saying,

  “ shit.. shit.. shit..”

  I slapped her on the ass which resulted in a dog fight that I lost.

  Beth was the referee and never called one foul on those two for hair pulling and finger bending while I got 10 points deducted for biting May on the butt which was all I could do since I was wrapped up like a mummy, it was worth the 10 points. Nice ass!

  We went to sleep with all of us having a hand on Beth’s tummy. I think he kicked again in the night but it was probably Sandy getting in a cheap shot.

  Morning brought a wonderful storm! We sat on the stump in our birthday suits and watched it rolling across the lake, but then the lightning came so we moved inside and watched a most beautiful display of fire bolts dancing across the lake. One thing we had taught the youngsters was to stay out of any of the run off canyons when it did rain as flash floods can ruin your day!

  After the storm blew thru the sun came out so we headed to the cooking area where the ladies were ready to prepare breakfast. And of course “they” were in charge of the pancakes, while Mable and Walter made their wonderful veggie omelets with homemade cheese. I often wonder if others have pulled together to build a life better then the one they lost.

  Life settled down pretty good, winter was starting to raise its head which isn’t all that bad but not a picnic either. We spent time cutting wood and hauling it in from the mountains.

  The Hobbit homes are very easy to heat, very little wood used for that. Up on the ridge where the winds hit hard we did need a lot of wood, but the thick walls of stone soaked up heat and released it in the night so we were comfy. We were all kind of staying home and cooking for ourselves except for the warm days of which there are plenty.

  Beth was showing a lot! And was getting more beautiful by the day, the girls and I took turns rubbing a creamy lotion on her tummy made by our resident witch V which she said would stop stretch marks?? It became our nightly entertainment, we called it Mommy time.

  I was becoming a bit worried as the time came close, I guess all men do. This is something out of our hands and control. One thing I settled real fast, I fully intend to be there when my son is born and that’s that.

  Doc wants to do it in the Medical Van, Beth and the girls and V said, “No, the baby needs to be born in its home surrounded by the people who love him.” I agreed simply because what the fk do I know about it! I just want to see ten toes and fingers and all the plumbing where it belongs.

  We had another storm in what I guess is December, nobody watches the calendar anymore so nobody is really sure. It was a really wild storm, lots of booming and the lightning lit up the entire area for miles like day light. It was awesome. Right in the middle of it May jumped up and yelled, “Yes!! Storm!! Yes Yes!!” We all looked at her like she was crazy and Sandy said, “Uh yeah it’s a storm. Duh!” And we laughed, May was dancing around the room yelling, “Storm!! The name is Storm!!” Finally she stopped and said, “His name is Storm!!!

  I asked, “Whose name?” She finally got it out “My Horse!! His name is Storm!!”

  Beth and Sandy were up and dancing around with her, I was worried about Beth but that never stops them so I danced around with them.. right behind Beth.. just in case.

  We were all thrilled for May as well as Storm who was no longer “The Horse With No Name”

  With the coming of morning the sky was bright blue, the sun was shining so after breakfast we trooped down the ridge to see Storm, as we went the word spread so by the time we arrived the entire community was there or coming.

  Storm was standing at the gate to the horse canyon looking all proud. May hugged him and they did the nose/air thing and everybody agreed it was a wonderful thing. I shook my head and said, “I’m still hungry,” and got glared at. I guess I don’t understand the whole name mystery. Buck came over to see me and I swear stopped off and nuzzled Storms ear as if to say “Good Job!”

  After a while we all headed back to the cooking area where a second breakfast was being cooked so I got fed again. Storm found his lost name, Beth looks beautiful, Sandy and May look like two prowling Panthers guarding their cubs. I swear if a sparrow were to fly within 20 feet of Beth those two would open fire. Beth turned to me and said, “It’s ok John, it’s their baby too.” Well yeah, I knew that, I wondered if I would be allowed to hold him.. or her?

  Sandy looked at me and said, “Maybe, if you wash your hands and mouth.” Then May said, “Yeah what she said garbage mouth.” I decided to go see the Old Farts and get some ammo and go shoot, I need to get back my speed, can’t have these broads beating me. I could feel the eyes on my back as I went so I held up a one finger salute and heard (heard?) “Keep it up buddy” and “you better not go to sleep.” (giggles).

  The Old Farts were holding court with their young apprentices on the finer art of loading precession rifle ammo, so I grabbed a few boxes of 45’s and headed for the range where I used a timer to check my speed and yes I had lost a bunch of speed so I spent an hour drawing and firing two rounds against the timer shooting at a steel target that was cut like a human silhouette. At the end of the hour I had gotten my times back up to a second from draw to the second shot and both center mass. I was pleased but I used to know several folks who did it in half my time. I got done and turned around and found my wives standing back watching me, all were smiling.

  I was worried about Beth being so close to the loud noises but she said the baby didn’t seem to mind and considering who its daddy was it figured. I was still worried but shut up. We trooped home and I cleaned my gun while they read or napped. Winter in the high desert can be a wonderful time of the year.

  I kept checking in with Charley and so far none of his scouts had seen any signs of people moving fast like the devil was on their ass. So between the plague and the baby coming I was pacing a trail in the stone floor of the living room, the girls were almost as bad. Beth was the only calm one of the bunch, we took to calling her Buddha because she would sit on the bed with her legs crossed and her big tummy and with her calm look it just seemed like the thing to call her, she laughed at us all.

  I started going to the range every day for an hour and just shooting, strong hand, weak hand, both hands, behind cover, moving, sitting at a table and drawing when the timer beeped and I could see it was really paying off, I thought I was faster and more accurate then I ever had been.

  I took to doing rifle drills, shooting on the move, shooting while falling down behind cover. CQB (Close Quarter Battle) drills, running up the gully shooting real close targets on the run. With the help of some of the others we built a doorway that opened to what would be a room in a house, somebody would change the targets around, and there were innocent “people” scattered among the bad guys. Beep, kick door open and start shooting, it takes time to build up the reaction times and I killed a lot of innocent folks before I was getting it right.

  One byproduct of it was more and more people were coming out and training, this became a daily event, I found a couple of young guys with recent Military combat time in the Stan and had them teach fire and maneuver drills, slow at first since we didn’t want anybody killed or wounded. As the days passed we were doing it at a run up the draws, run forward with covering fire snapping past you, hit the ground, roll beh
ind cover and start using suppression fore while others leap frogged forward to cover.

  We set up some cables to use for moving targets that rolled down on pulleys. We were burning up a lot of ammo but I seemed driven for some reason, I mean it was a blast pun intended, but it was training too, more then we ever did before. I wondered, but said fk it, it is what it is.

  The crowning achievement was the zip line! We used steel cable from a high spot and strung it across a long gully to another spot lower down; we used some of the parachute harness we got with the sky diving gear. We set up targets in the gully and took turns leaping off the cliff and rocketing down the line blasting all the targets we could get.

  (Note..this is an actual part of a course of fire at the MGM Iron Man three gun match held in Parma Idaho every year, sponsored by the good folks from MGM Targets of Boise ID. I’ve shot this shoot four times and it kicked my ass every time, but running a zip line shooting at targets as you speed past is awesome! Look on You Tube for videos of the match)

  The girls loved that part but used their squirt guns to really hose the targets. Beth watched and begged to ride the zip line. Finally Doc said, “Hell go for it.” We got her all cinched in and gave her the 300 Black out and turned her loose, I was scared shitless, even Sandy was chewing her nails, V was right behind the low spot where the end of the cable was anchored and as soon as the shooting stopped she leaped out and grabbed onto Beth and slowed her down. She stood on the hill below holding the 300 up in her right hand the left was a fist and she let out a war cry that sounded like it belonged back a few hundred years ago. She looked wild and beautiful, long hair blowing in the wind, rifle in the air. I was madly in love with this Spartan Warrior!

  I will always say and believe the Zip line did it. That night Beth’s water broke, Sandy went out and fired the signal shots to let Doc and V know and we spent the night holding our darling thru the worst of it.

  And as the sun broke over the lake my son was born, I couldn’t breathe for the lump in my throat. I heard his first cry and tears rolled down, I had to step out for a moment to get some air and as I stood there looking at the dawn I heard another sound that I didn’t understand, it sounded like my son was having trouble, I burst thru the door to be greeted by my daughter.

  I was rooted to the floor, Sandy and May were dancing around one second and hugging Beth the next, I went to her and held her close and whispered two? She nodded and I felt her smile against my neck.

  Doc and V came to us and handed the babies at me, I was backing up like a crawdad, saying, “No no no,, shit I’ll break them! I might hurt them, I might drop them!”

  It did no good because I soon had a small living breathing human, tiny yes but still human in each arm for about 30 seconds before they were taken away by “Them.” I was going to object but Beth squeezed my hand and whispered, “It’s ok, look at them.” She was right, both girls had a look like I’d not seen on their faces before. We sat there in the middle of our bed the five of us, a big bed made smaller by the arrival of two more people.

  Doc and V sat with us and we all just watched the two babies, then Beth took them and guided them both to their first meal.

  I will say my son took to the nipple like a champ while my daughter fussed a bit but got the hang of it and man they went to town.

  It was the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen and one that will be with me when I close my eyes for the last time.. this go around.

  With the morning under way the entire community came to see the babies, a few at a time and they all said it was good they took after Beth and not me which I thought was a cheap shot but then again, she is beautiful while me, well I’m old and tired and worn out and my ear is half shot off and I have a bullet hole in my ass so maybe it’s best they take after mommy.

  On the fourth day of their birth we took them down the hill to our little village, where Charley and Old Woman and the entire Navajo nation were gathered as well as what looked like folks from everywhere, the Fort was represented, as was Texas by way of Harry and Bear and their ladies who were making the move as we speak.

  And then I saw her, my other true love, Mis. Sheri came walking up and hugged me for a long time and whispered, “Thank you!” “For what?” I whispered back, “For bringing me babies to love you big jerk!”

  I couldn’t believe it, all the people who make up our giant family were here. I couldn’t understand what the big deal was, women have babies all the time. V looked at me and said, “Well yeah, that’s true John, but mostly they just wanna see what an old man can accomplish if he has a beautiful young wife to do the work!” And of course all the fools laughed, I know I never said anything out loud and now V was doing it. Old Woman came to me and took my face between her hands and said, “John, everybody is here because they love you, respect you and care for you, and of course out of disbelief that an old fart like you could do this good of a job but especially do two at once!!”

  And that brought the house down. I went to the cold room and carried out several cases of beer for the naming toast.

  Beth and I had talked about it and she took our son from Sandy and held him up and said, “This is our son, “John Charles Walker named for his father and our dear friend and Brother.”

  The crowd raised a beer and yelled,” Howdy John Charles!”

  Beth took our Daughter and held her up and said, “This is our daughter (and here she diverted from the script) “Sandra May Walker!”

  The crowd went wild, both babies started crying until somebody took them, I just stood there watching Sandy and May both crying and hugging Beth.

  I looked around for my babies and saw Mis Sheri sitting in a folding camp chair, a baby in each arm and a soft beautiful smile on her face gently rocking them.

  I knew right then that come wars, plagues or whatever, we would make it.

  Both as a clan or tribe and as a race, we would make it.

  So I went to sit beside Mis Sheri and tried to take a baby but she growled at me, really, growled…

  I left her alone, went and got more beer and we built a huge fire to ward off the chill and the party started!

  Again I think this one is a tiny bit short but once again it ends where it wants to. Really, honest.

  Special addition! My friend and editor Vanessa who has really tried hard to make my stuff readable wrote this funny little thing and after I read it I wanted to add it, so here it is.

  Boy, “Damn right I was screamin. (stop cussin) I’ve never heard so much loud stuff, I think daddy, buddy, bud, John would say shit, and then my mommies would fuss at him. It started a long time ago. I was all warm and wet in a dark place cuddled with my sister. Sometimes she would try to take up too much of the room but we worked it out.

  Girl, “Brother, if you are going to tell this story, tell it right.”

  Boy, “Well sometimes you did.”

  Girl, “Did not, but go ahead.”

  Boy, “Then everything changed, our whole world ended. We were squished and squeezed and pushed and a man giant grabbed me by my head and pulled me out. Then a woman giant did the same to sis. It was cold and full of giants and all of them were showing their fangs.”

  Girl, “We were afraid they were going to eat us because all of them had fangs showing every time they looked at us.”

  Boy, “One of our mommies put clothes on us, I didn’t like them but then she wrapped me in a warm thing and held me.”

  Girl, “After that they took us to the mommy we knew, the one who’s tummy we had been in. We knew her sounds from before.”

  Boy, “Then all the loud stuff stopped and everybody gathered around. Somebody had tried to get the one called daddy, bud, buddy, John, he has lotsa names, but they tried to get him to hold us but he had this look on his face that was goin to make us cry again but our other mommies got us and that’s when they took us to the mommy called Bets.”

  Girl, “The big one called Daddy, Bud, Buddy, John was beside mommy Bets, this time he had wet stuff dri
pping down.”

  Boy, “We know his sounds too, he calls me his little man cos we have the same kind of plumbing. I can squirt water all the way over my head.”

  Girl, “I’m like our mommies, we don’t do stuff like that. Mommy Sany said now they have two little boys.”

  Boy, “Then our mommy put something, we later heard was called a boobie, tit, tittie, to my lips. It was soft and warm and tasted sweet and good. I just started sucking on it and good stuff came out. Sis didn’t want to try it but finally she did. I was surprised because before we came out I sucked on what my mommies call fingers and piggies, nothing ever came out, and I tried sis’ ones too.”

  Girl, “They must think that you ate some of them cos they keep counting them like there should be more of them.”

  Boy, “Shit. (Stop cussin). Whatever, but we can count to ten already. Now to go on with my story….”

  Girl, “It’s my story too, brother.”

  Boy, I know sis, but I started it. So, over the next few, what are called days, more giants came and showed us their fangs, we showed them that we didn’t have any and couldn’t hurt them, so they went away.”