by Trisha Grace
Julian stared back at her for what felt like hours, but was probably just a couple of seconds. “What if I don’t want that?”
“Divorce then. If that’s what you prefer.” She supposed it wouldn't look good for him if she were to get an annulment based on unconsummated marriage after all these months together.
“That wasn’t what I meant.” His eyes bore into hers. “I don’t want either one.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Julian.” She didn't care about the reasons for Julian marrying her. She’d always thought they would eventually fall in love and live happily ever after. But she wasn't going to hold on to a fantasy anymore.
She wanted a husband who loved her more than anything in the world. She wanted someone who wanted her.
“Why did you tell your dad that you’d stand by my side no matter what? You said I was your husband, and you’d stand with me till the end.”
“Because right now, you are. Legally, we’re married.”
“But you don’t intend to remain married to me.”
“I’m sure you didn’t have any desire to marry me in the first place.”
“What if I’ve changed my mind?”
“You’re only feeling like that because I’m supporting you through your recovery. Besides Colin, I’m all you have. That’s why—” She froze when Julian leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers.
She pressed her hands against his shoulders to push him back, but she couldn’t make herself put much strength into her action. Instead, she softened when his hand cupped the back of her neck, pulling her closer as he kneaded it softly.
Julian pressed his forehead to hers when he broke the kiss. His hand remained on her neck, holding her close. “Please, stay.” His voice was raspy and the two words were filled with so much sincerity she wanted to pull him into her arms and assure him that everything would be fine.
“Julian …” Don’t be stupid, Hayley. He only needs you now because he doesn’t have anyone else. Once Julian was up and running, he wouldn’t even think about her. Don't fall back in love with someone who doesn't love you. “I’m not going anywhere for now.”
Remember: it’s only temporary, Hayley. “You won’t have to go through your recovery alone. I’ll be right here with you.”
“I want you here with me beyond that.”
She shifted back, putting some space between them. She couldn’t think with him so close, with him asking her to stay. You’re meant to be. She shook her head. No. That was a fantasy she’d built. “Julian, you don’t know what you’re saying.”
His brows drew together. “I know exactly what I’m saying, what I’m asking.”
“When you’ve recovered, you’ll feel differently.”
“What if I don’t? Will you stay then?”
“No.” She cupped his face, her heart aching at the open vulnerability in his face and eyes. “Because you won’t want me to stay.”
He took her hand. “Hayley—”
“Stop.” She pulled her hand away, panicking as she felt cracks snaking up the walls she’d erected around her heart. “Do you know what you’re doing to me, Julian? I’ve loved you—the you I’ve imagined in my head—my whole life. I waited my whole life to be your wife. I know that right now you need someone to support you, and I’m here to do so.” She drew a deep breath through her nose. “But don’t ask for things that you won’t want once all this is over. I don’t think I’m strong enough to survive another heartbreak.”
What could Julian say to that? He wanted to tell Hayley that he meant every word he said. He wanted her in his life. He didn’t just want her to be here supporting him through his toughest time. He wanted to spoil her rotten once he was back up on his feet. He would take her to places she’d never been, let her try new things she’d never even considered.
I just hope he doesn’t destroy you like his father did to Amelia. The words that Hayley’s father had said played in the back of Julian’s mind, and the words stuck in his throat. He’d already caused his own mother’s death. Did he really want to destroy Hayley like he did his mother?
Julian lost his train of thought when a tear spilled over Hayley’s eyelid.
After brushing off the teardrop with his thumb, he leaned forward and kissed the corner of her eye.
He couldn’t ask her for more tonight. He wouldn’t. It was his turn to step up, his turn to protect and love her. “I’m sorry, Hayley, for everything I’ve done to hurt you.”
“I forgive you.” She cracked a smile and brushed at her wet cheeks. “Even for the new chaos resulting from Charlene’s video.” She glanced out of the tinted car windows.
Julian followed her gaze and sighed at the crowd of reporters gathered outside the apartment building.
“You don’t have to apologize again. As you said, no reporters have ever broken into the apartment.”
“Hayley …”
“There’s this really famous chocolate mousse cake. Do you think we can send Doreen to buy one for us?” she asked, her voice unusually chirpy.
It seemed she was determined not to continue the conversation they were having. “Of course. I’ll send her out for it once we’re home.”
“I can text her now.”
“Speaking of texts, why didn’t you answer my text the other day?”
She frowned for a moment. “I didn’t get any text from—Oh, wait. Were you referring to the ‘where are you’ text?” She chuckled. “You didn’t even put a name in the text. I didn’t know it was from you.”
He laughed. He couldn’t believe he was that stupid. “So now you have my number.”
“How did you get mine?”
“Colin.”
“I see.”
“He was just concerned about you when he told me about the truck driver. Don’t be angry with him. I know you two have become friends.”
She nodded slowly. “It’s been nice to …”
“To have someone who isn’t angry with you all the time.” He grinned when she licked her lips and looked away. “For the record, I haven’t been angry with you for a while. I’ve just been too prideful to tell you that—”
“Please don’t tell me that you’re sorry.”
“That I’m thankful. Thank you.” He wanted more than anything to reach out and hold her hand again, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to do anything to hurt her.
“You’re welcome.”
Julian cursed when he saw the additional security guards when the car entered the private underground garage.
“What is it?”
“We’ve made a whole show of you leaving to pretend that you’re no longer here.”
“Oh, right. I guess my trip to the hospital ruined that. Sorry.”
“That wasn’t your fault.” The chauffeur stopped the car in front of the elevator, then got out and pulled out Julian’s wheelchair from the trunk. “Hayley,” he said while the chauffeur opened up his wheelchair. “If you aren’t feeling well, will you tell me, please?”
Her eyes softened, and Julian allowed himself to hope that he still had a chance with Hayley. He hadn’t screwed up so badly that she would never trust him again. Gosh, he wanted to wrap his arms around her.
The car door on his side opened.
“Mr. Nicholson.” The chauffeur positioned the wheelchair next to the car, and Julian pushed himself onto the seat.
“Thank you, Desmond,” Hayley said as she stepped out of the car. “Doreen’s going out to buy a cake for me. Take her there, then you can have the rest of the day off after dropping her back here.”
“Yes, Miss Hayley.”
Hayley waited for Julian to wheel himself over to her before heading over to the elevator, then held the elevator door open for him.
A simple gesture, but one that Julian hated. He wanted to do that for her. He wanted to open the car door for her. He sighed.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yeah. And don’t think I’ve forgotten my question.”
S
he chuckled softly. “Yes, I’ll let you know.”
“Did Doreen know about your fainting spells?”
She tucked her hair behind her ear.
“I’m not going to fire her if the answer is yes.”
“And you won’t give her any problems either?”
“So it’s a yes.”
Hayley licked her lips. “Julian, I specifically told her not to say anything to you. Her default reaction was to run and get you. I stopped her. I didn’t want to trouble you. I thought—anyway, it was my decision. I told her that if anything happened, she should call Leanne.”
“So she has Leanne’s number.”
Hayley nodded. “I gave it to her.”
“Will you tell her to get me if anything happens to you?”
Her brows twitched.
“Since I’m the one at home. I’m closer. I’d be more helpful, even if I’m stuck in a wheelchair.”
“I didn’t tell her to do that because of your wheelchair.”
“You just thought I wouldn’t care.”
She pursed her lips.
“I’ve given you every reason to think that way. I would apologize again, but you said to stop doing that.”
Her lips curled back. “I’ll tell Doreen to get you if anything happens.”
“You’ll do it now? I mean once we get back? In case anything happens,” he quickly added when her brows drew closer. He didn’t want to pressure her, but he wanted to be the one there for her if anything happened. “The doctor did say your blood pressure is really low.”
She nodded once. “I’ll let her know once I see her.”
The elevator doors opened on cue. As usual, Doreen was standing next to the elevator, ready to help Hayley with anything.
Hayley slipped her purse off her shoulder and handed the bag to Doreen.
“What did the doctor say, Miss Hayley?”
Miss. The word bothered Julian more than it should.
“Low blood pressure, probably due to the change in diet.” She glanced over at Julian before continuing, “Doreen, if anything happens to me, get Julian. He’ll know what to do.”
Doreen’s gaze flitted to Julian, then back to Hayley.
“Don’t worry. He didn’t force me to say it.” She smiled. “Desmond will drive you to the cake shop and bring you back.”
“Yes, Miss Hayley.”
“Make sure you tell him to drop you off in the garage. There’s a horde of reporters outside the building.”
This is why I love her. Her concern for others. Her—Gosh. Julian stopped. Love. He’d fallen in love with his wife now that she was determined to leave him. He closed his eyes.
How screwed up was that?
“Julian?” Hayley’s warm hand on his thigh pulled him back to reality, and Julian wanted to beg her to stay and throw the notion of annulment out of the window.
Or he could simply remain in the wheelchair.
No, he couldn’t. He wanted to stand for her. He wanted to open doors for her, to take her to explore new places.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m okay.” He put his hand over hers. “I just got distracted.”
She nodded and stood, pulling her hand out from under his. His heart ached at the loss of the simple contact.
“Do you still want your muffins today?”
Hayley shook her head. “The cake will be enough. Thank you.”
“It’s still your birthday. Do you want to do something together?”
“What should we do?”
“What do you usually do?”
“We’d cook, eat, then watch movies or play games.”
“Games?” He followed Hayley into the living room.
“Board games. Jenga.”
He didn’t have either of those here. “Do you want to watch a movie then?”
She shrugged. “Why not?”
Chapter Fifteen
JULIAN GLANCED OVER when he heard the ding from the elevator. Doreen had come back halfway through the movie, so this must be the cases he ordered for Hayley.
“Mr. Nicholson, your package.”
Julian took the large white envelope from Doreen and handed it to Hayley. “Happy birthday.”
Her brows drew together, then rose. “How did you get the cases here so quickly?”
“I have a standing FedEx account. I asked the company for their closest fulfillment center and got FedEx to pick it up.”
She laughed softly. “You didn’t have to do that. I didn’t mind waiting.”
“I wanted to get it to you on your birthday.” He leaned forward as she opened the envelope. “They aren’t really expensive. You can definitely afford it, so why didn’t you just get it for yourself when you saw the video?”
“My current case works just fine.”
The transparent cover had already yellowed, and the pink metal rim around it had so many scratches that some parts had turned white.
“You really got one for Leanne.”
“Why else did you think I asked?”
“There’s one more in here.” She pulled it out. “Who’s this for?”
“Myself. It looked good.” He took the box from her and put it aside.
She struggled with removing her current case, so Julian took her phone from her and helped her with it.
“Stop,” she said when he tried to scratch the screen protector out. “What are you doing?”
“It comes with a new screen protector.”
“But mine works just fine.”
Julian tipped his head to the side and studied her for a moment. “For someone so rich, you’re pretty frugal.”
“Do you know what my job used to be?”
“You had a job?”
“Kind of. My parents have a budget set aside for philanthropy work. Every month, I go through the tons of letters we receive from people asking for money. All I do is read about how people need money for various reasons, so I always feel bad when I spend frivolously.”
He thought about what she’d said. “But this isn’t spending frivolously. If your screen cracked, you’d have to spend additional money to get it fixed. That’s a lot more expensive than a free screen protector. Besides, this is a gift.”
She pinched her lips. “You’re right.”
He handed Hayley back the phone when he was done with it, then clipped the phone casing onto his bare phone. “Speaking of money, why don’t you send me all the bills you’ve been paying? I’ll get the money transferred to your account.”
“It’s okay.”
“I insist.”
“Perhaps you could write a check for Dale Andrews’ work instead.”
The bioengineer working with him?
“He’s trying to create a smaller version of the system he’s been using with you so more people will be able to benefit from his study.”
Something was wrong with him. Everything Hayley said just made him want to kiss her. “I’ll do that too.” He pushed his wheelchair further back from Hayley so he wouldn’t be tempted to kiss her the way he did in the car. “So, is this how you spend all your birthdays?”
“Sometimes I’d go on vacation with Casas. We always have so much fun.”
“Where have you been?”
They remained in the living room, chatting, until Doreen informed them that dinner was ready. Then they continued their conversation over dinner and dessert. When he finally checked the time, it was already almost two in the morning.
“We should go to bed,” Hayley said.
Julian almost wished he hadn’t checked the time. “How are you feeling? Should we check your blood pressure?”
She waved it off. “I’m feeling perfectly fine.” She stood, and Julian watched her closely. Hayley chuckled when she noticed. “See? Perfectly fine. I think it really is because of the change in diet. Do you want to take a shower first?”
He shook his head. “You go ahead.”
Hayley got settled into bed while Julian showered. The day had gone bad so
quickly she wasn’t sure what to say. Despite how things went down with Frank and Paula, the rest of the day had gone pretty well.
Julian’s just being a good friend. He was just trying to make up for ruining her birthday. The kiss meant nothing at all. Even his plea for her to stay meant nothing. She couldn’t allow herself to read too much into it.
“What are you reading?” Julian asked when he came out of the bathroom with a towel draped over his shoulders. “You’re always reading in bed.” He was wearing only a pair of black sweatpants.
She’d always known he was in good shape, but this was the first time she’d seen his six-pack and the lean musculature of his arms. She cleared her throat when his lips curled back. “Just some silly books.”
He wheeled himself into the dressing room, then came back with a white T-shirt on his lap.
“Here.” She pushed back the duvet. “I’ll put the towel back for you.”
“It’s okay. I got it.” He leaned forward slightly as he wheeled himself into the bathroom, and she could see the muscles in his abdomen flexing.
Stop staring. Hayley leaned back on the pillow and pulled the duvet back over her legs.
When Julian emerged from the bathroom, he still hadn’t pulled on his T-shirt, and Hayley wondered if he was doing that on purpose. She forced herself to return her attention to her Kindle e-reader, then gasped when Julian leaned over to see what she was reading.
She turned the Kindle away. “What are you doing?”
“You’re not reading Fifty Shades of Gray, are you?”
She rolled her eyes. “No. I read the first book. Didn’t enjoy it.”
“No interest in being tied up.”
“Honestly, I can’t really figure out what the contraptions in the book are supposed to look like. It’s so confusing.”
He wheeled himself to the other side of the bed, and Hayley pushed the duvet aside before he got onto the bed.
“I thought most women enjoyed some sort of dominance from their partners in bed.”
“I wouldn’t know, but I’ll take your word for it. I’m sure you have more than enough experience to be an expert.” Her words came out tinged with more jealousy than she’d expected.
