by Molly Jebber
Betsy hugged his neck, then rested her head on his shoulder.
“Danki for kumming. We’re all dazed and hurting.”
He rubbed the little one’s back. “I wish I could wipe your pain away. Losing a loved one is one of the hardest things to go through.”
Betsy whined and held tight to Andrew’s neck.
“Somebody missed you besides me.” Maryann gave him a loving smile.
“I’m glad.” Andrew kissed Betsy’s hair. “How are you holding up?”
“I can’t bring myself to wash and dress Mamm. Liza and Hannah are going to do it for me. It’s difficult to accept she’s gone. My mind says she’s in Heaven, free of pain. My heart wants to tell her I love her one more time.”
He gazed into her tired eyes. “You can lean on me for everything.”
She gazed at him. “Having you here will provide a lot of comfort.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you and Betsy. Being apart from you and this little one has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
“Yes. I’ve thought of you each day and wondered how you are and how your uncle is doing.”
Andrew sighed. “My uncle is weak and frail. He was a robust man with more spunk than me. It’s heartbreaking to watch his health decline. We have good conversations. His mind hasn’t been affected by whatever is making him ill. The doctor isn’t sure what’s to blame for his condition.”
“I’m sorry.” She gestured to the door. “Did you speak to the family when you arrived?”
He nodded. “Your daed, Joel, Timothy, and friends were unloading benches. I expressed my sympathies and came inside to find you. I ache for all of you. I remember my parents’ funerals like it was yesterday. The pain has gotten better, but there are times when something will spark a memory of a special time with them and my eyes get watery, missing them. Knowing they’re in Heaven gives me comfort. I wish I could say something to erase your and your family’s pain. We both know it isn’t possible. I wish it were under better circumstances, but I’m glad to be with you, Betsy, and your family.”
Maryann twisted her hands. “We should talk.”
He traced her cheek with his forefinger. “You’re going through one of the hardest times in your life. We can discuss our future after the services.”
Maryann acted nervous. Had she made the decision to stay in Charm and not marry him? His heart thumped fast in his chest. Maybe she thought it best to stay with her family. He had to exercise patience. This wasn’t the time to question her about it.
Joel came inside Betsy’s room. “Andrew, would you mind giving me a hand?” He looked at Betsy resting on Andrew’s shoulder. “She’s happy to have you with us. I am too, and I’m sure lots of friends will say the same.” He winked.
Andrew handed Betsy to Maryann. “I don’t mind. It’s good to be here, but I wish it were not because of Naomi’s passing.” He nodded to Maryann and then followed Joel outside. An hour later, he bid friends farewell, had supper with Maryann and her family, and went home. He scanned the property. He didn’t want to sell it. This place had been perfect for him, and it would be more than sufficient for him, Maryann, and Betsy.
He didn’t see Toby’s buggy. His friend had gone home. Tomorrow morning, he’d wake early and have breakfast with him before going to Maryann’s haus. He checked the livestock. Toby had done a superb job taking care of everything. He’d missed his friend and being home in Charm. Being away from Maryann and Betsy had been more difficult than he’d imagined. What would Maryann say to him when they had time to discuss their plans? Would he leave without a promise of a future with her when he returned to Millersburg? She might be obligated to take care of Shem and not want to leave him alone. He could understand, but he didn’t want to consider the possibility.
Chapter Eight
Saturday, Maryann, Andrew, and her family greeted friends who had brought food and expressed their condolences. She listened to the swirl of conversations around her, with Betsy balanced on her right hip, while Mamm, dressed in her blue dress and kapp, lay lifeless in the pine box on a long table. Maryann had been relieved and grateful to Liza and Hannah for preparing the body. She was too grief-stricken to do it. She swallowed around the lump in her throat and greeted the mourners, but she was going through the motions.
Sunday, she attended the regular church service and stared at Bishop Fisher while he gave his message. She found comfort in the verses the bishop shared about God’s love and how He didn’t forsake us. She had faith God would get her and her family through this difficult time. Friends came and went to visit them after church and until later that evening.
The days were a blur. Numb, she didn’t feel like herself. She loved Andrew for standing next to her. He conversed with their visitors and helped with Betsy. She had to tell him about the letter she’d written to cancel their wedding. The letter would be waiting for him at the post office in Millersburg when he returned there. She enjoyed him and let herself depend on his strength, understanding, encouragement, and love. Her family needed her, but how could she let him go? She wished she could recapture the letter, rip it in two, and throw it away. What would she do now? She couldn’t leave Daed alone.
* * *
Monday, she couldn’t imagine what this would’ve been like without him. He stood next to her.
“I’ll get you some warm cocoa. Ellie has it warming on the stove. You haven’t had anything all morning.” Andrew gave her a loving gaze.
“Danki.” She watched him walk away from her. None of this seemed real. She expected to inhale the aroma of Mamm’s delicious cinnamon rolls from the kitchen and find her bringing in a plate of them to serve to their guests. The woman in the coffin seemed like a stranger. Maryann couldn’t breathe. She had to have a minute to herself. She rushed to her room and stared out the window at the sea of buggies and wagons parked on the far right side of their property.
Liza and Hannah came alongside her. “Maryann, are you all right?”
Betsy outstretched her arms to Hannah.
Hannah took Betsy.
Betsy whined and rested her head on Hannah’s shoulder.
Maryann walked into Liza’s arms and found solace as her friend held her. Liza’s arms felt warm and comforting. Just what she needed. She wept.
Hannah used her free hand and rubbed Maryann’s back. “Get it all out. We’re here for you. Anything you need.”
Liza handed Maryann a clean handkerchief from under her sleeve. “I brought two. Keep it.”
Hannah shifted Betsy to her other hip. “Ellie, Magdelena, Rachael, and my mamm are serving the mourners. Joel is with your daed. There’s no rush for you to tend to guests. May I get anything for you?”
“No, danki. Andrew went to get me warm cocoa. He’s been wonderful. Warm cocoa does sound good. Not much of anything does.” She dabbed her eyes with the handkerchief. “You both have been understanding and compassionate. I don’t have to hold back anything from you. I’m beyond grateful. I expect Mamm to walk in the room any minute. It’s hard to accept she’s left this earth. I’m comforted she’s in Heaven with God, but I want her back. One more day. One more hour.” She blew her nose. “She and I had our trials, but we loved each other. I never should’ve left the first time.”
Hannah jiggled Betsy. “Andrew is one of the best men I’ve met. I’m thrilled he’s back in Charm with you for Naomi’s services.” She reached for Maryann’s hand. “You’ve made new memories with your mamm. And if you hadn’t left, you wouldn’t have Betsy. She’s brought joy to all of us. Concentrate on the good times you’ve had with your mamm since you returned. You brought her a lot of joy.”
Liza nudged her arm. “Listen to Hannah. You thrilled your mamm when you returned with your precious dochder. Hold on to those times. God forgave you, and you should forgive yourself for the past. Your mamm forgave you. She wrapped her arms around you, and she never wanted to let you go. You did all you could for her. Andrew is attentive and caring towar
d you and Betsy. Maybe the two of you can find a way to marry, since your mamm has passed and you no longer need to care for her. I never agreed with your family asking you to stay in the first place.”
“Andrew and I have much to discuss. I’m not sure what my family’s expectations are of me. I do have to consider Andrew and our love for each other.” She managed a weak smile. “You both provide me with a healthy perspective. You’re both blessings I treasure. I should pull myself together and mingle with our friends. Danki for cheering me up today. I needed it.”
Betsy held her arms out to Maryann. “Mum, Mum.”
Maryann took her from Hannah.
Liza said, “You can always count on us.”
Maryann returned to the living room. Andrew handed Maryann the mug and took Betsy.
Maryann squared her shoulders and sucked in a deep breath. She glanced at the mantel clock and took her seat next to Daed. Ellie and Joel sat on the other side of him. Andrew and Betsy sat next to her. Bishop Fisher had taken his place in front of the rows of benches the men had put in place after moving their furniture to the shed. She folded her hands in her lap and waited for the bishop to begin. She prayed for strength to get through the kumming hours and days.
Bishop Fisher held his open Holy Bible. “We’re gathered in the Wengers’ home to celebrate Naomi’s moving from this earth to her heavenly home with God. She’s no longer in pain, and she has a new healthy body. We’ll miss her, but we can find comfort in knowing she’s in God’s arms. She believed He gave His son, Jesus Christ, as the ultimate sacrifice for her wrongs. She asked Him to take over her life, and she loved God with all her heart.” The bishop read scriptures, delivered his message on Heaven, led them in a hymn, and offered a prayer. He dismissed them to follow him to the burial site.
Maryann froze. Her daed’s and Joel’s shoulders slumped, and their sorrowful faces brought tears to her eyes. Ellie held on to Joel’s arm, and Maryann was thankful they’d found each other. Ellie had been good for all of them. She was glad Mamm had accepted Ellie and they’d shared good memories before she passed away. She struggled not to cry again.
Andrew passed Betsy to her. “I’ll pull the buggy to the front of the haus for you.”
She nodded.
Toby approached her and offered his condolences. “Do you mind if Rachael and I look after Betsy while you go to the burial site?”
Betsy held her arms out to Toby, and he scooped her up.
Maryann nodded. “She sure likes you. Danki, Toby. I really appreciate it.”
Toby placed a happy Betsy on his hip.
Betsy flung her hands into his hair and pulled a handful. She giggled.
Toby removed her little fingers from his hair. “No, little one.” He smiled at Maryann. “Rachael and I can take care of her. We’ll stay with her while you go with your family.” Toby gave her a sympathetic gaze.
Rachael gave Maryann a reassuring gaze. “Don’t worry about her. We’ll be fine. I’ll clean up while you’re gone. Toby loves kinner, and he and Betsy have become fast friends. She’s the best medicine for all of us. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, losing your mamm. I’m thankful Andrew is in town. Maybe you and he can resume planning for your wedding. You two are meant to be together. I love you, Maryann. He’s the one for you and Betsy. I’m sure of it.” She hugged her.
Maryann cried in her arms and then gently pulled away. “I love having him with Betsy and me. I’m hoping we can plan a future together. I don’t want to let him go.” She glanced out the window at Andrew in the buggy. “I should leave. Danki.”
She couldn’t stop quivering. Her mind was muddled, and her body was weak. She’d had trouble kumming to grips with Gerald’s death, but Mamm’s was more difficult. Mamm had had an obsession to hold on to her too tight during their life together, but Maryann had no doubt how much Mamm had loved her. Among their trying times, they’d sewed, cooked, baked, and laughed together more often than not. Mamm had held her when she’d been sad more times than she could count. She’d rejoiced with her too. She’d been a wonderful grossmudder to Betsy. Thank goodness they’d had time together.
She climbed into the buggy and sat next to Andrew. She patted his arm. “I’m blessed to have you in my life. I’m glad Mamm got to meet and talk with you before she died.”
He gave her a weak grin and shrugged. “I’m thankful for our time together and my time with her.”
She rode with Andrew to the burial site, with her family following in their buggy. They arrived, crossed the yard as a family, and stood in front of the big open hole in the ground. She stood next to Daed, with Andrew on her other side. She whispered to Daed, “You gave her a good life.”
Daed stared at the pine box holding his fraa as the men were taking it out of the wagon. “Our good times outweighed the bad ones. I remember the day I met her. She was a little sassy, with a glint in her eyes. I was drawn to her, and our connection grew from the minute we were introduced by your grossmudder, who you never got to know. My mamm was a happy soul. She loved everyone until they gave her a reason not to. She loved your mamm. I’m lost without her. We had a routine. This morning, kumming back from the barn, I remembered something I wanted to tell her. It will take me a while to realize she’s no longer with us.” He bowed his head and shut his eyes tight. Tears dripped onto his cheeks.
Maryann hooked her arm through his and then she exchanged an endearing gaze with Joel and then Ellie. She watched as the men carried the box and used ropes to lower it into the open spot. She’d disliked this part the most at Gerald’s funeral, and today, for Mamm’s, it was final. It forced her brain to understand Mamm wasn’t kumming back. The bishop offered a short message, led them in a hymn, and offered a prayer to God. He dismissed them, and she forced her legs to walk to the buggy with Andrew. She got in and hugged herself tight to stop the shaking, but to no avail. She watched her daed, Joel, and Ellie get in their buggy.
Andrew drove her home in silence. He glanced at her and gave her a loving smile now and then. He pulled in front of the haus. “You go inside. I’ll tie the horse to the hitching post.”
“Danki.” Maryann glanced at the gray clouds. She was comfortable in her cape against the cool breeze. The absence of sunshine and the dull weather matched her gloomy mood.
Ellie and Joel caught up to her, and they went inside.
Benches had been pushed aside, and Rachael and Toby were on the floor with Betsy, stacking her blocks. She pulled herself up on the coffee table.
Joel and Ellie greeted Toby and Rachael and sat on one of the benches.
“Danki for watching Betsy.” Maryann glanced from Rachael to Toby and pressed a hand to her heart. “I’m not myself today, and you’ve both been wonderful with Betsy. You helped me a lot.”
Andrew entered the haus and greeted them. “Isn’t Betsy such a joy to be around?”
Rachael patted Betsy’s back. “She’s a doll. We had fun with her. We’ll leave you to have time with your family and Andrew.”
Toby and Rachael bid them farewell and left.
Daed came inside the haus. His face was pale and solemn. “I’ll be in the backyard for a couple of minutes. I need a little time alone.” He dragged his feet out of the room.
Joel tapped her on the shoulder. “I can’t believe she’s not in another room folding clothes or cooking in the kitchen.” Tears trickled down his cheek.
She put Betsy in her playpen. She wrapped her arms around her bruder, her head on his chest, and wept with him. She raised her head and wiped her face. “I’m numb.”
“Me too.” He stared at his shoes then glanced around the room. “Daed looks lost without her.”
“He’s grief-stricken, like us, but worse. It will take a while before he’s comfortable with a new routine. She was a big part of our lives. The ache of losing her will not go away. I pray it gets easier with time. My heart breaks for him.”
“I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this.” Andrew gave them an empat
hetic shake of his head.
Ellie rose. “Let’s have some coffee in the kitchen. Maybe Daed will have some when he kummes back in.”
Maryann followed Andrew, Joel, and Ellie to the kitchen. Daed came in and joined them. “Good idea. I could use a cup of hot coffee.”
Ellie bustled to the stove. “I’ll serve warm coffee. Rachael left some on the stove.” She poured them each a cup and served it to them.
“Andrew, when do you have to leave?” Maryann picked up Betsy from the playpen and held the child on her lap. She didn’t want to say goodbye to him.
“I should leave by ten in the morning.”
“I’ll stay home tomorrow until Andrew leaves. Do you think Hannah would watch Betsy while I work at the bakery?” Maryann stared at her coffee.
Ellie grinned. “Hannah mentioned to me she’d like to watch Betsy for you. She was planning on asking you.”
“I’ll visit her after Andrew leaves. If she’s in agreement to start watching Betsy tomorrow, I’ll leave Betsy with her and head to the bakery from her haus.”
Daed cleared his throat. He’d sat staring at his mug during their conversation. “You and Andrew should keep your wedding date. There’s no longer any reason for you not to move with him to Millersburg. It was never right of us to ask you to stay, even with Naomi alive. We all consider Andrew family now.”
Maryann’s heart thumped fast. Daed was right. She could visit her family. Joel and Ellie would look after Daed. She’d miss them. She gazed at Andrew. Her place was with him. “What do you say?”
“I’d marry you today if we could. I’m elated.” He gestured to Daed. “Danki. I consider this family mine too. Having you give your blessing at a time like this means a lot. You are a kind and thoughtful man. I promise I’ll take good care of Maryann and Betsy.”
Daed nodded. “I have no doubt. I apologize for pressuring Maryann into staying with us. It was wrong.”
“No need for an apology, Daed. I’m glad I had this time with Mamm.” Maryann patted his hand.
