Boy Friend: A Friends To Lovers BWWM Romance

by Tyla Walker

  Fuck me, this is going to be one long morning.

  I wave to her, she smiles and follows, before taking her seat on the chair opposite of me.

  “It’s been a while, Johnathan,” she says, “I hope Nikki has been treating you well.”

  “Well, the fact that we made plans to get married should pretty much answer your question, Jessica,” I reply.

  She seems to ignore me and holds my hand on the table, “I missed you, Johnathan. A lot.”

  Her soft hand over mine sends spikes of electric pleasure all throughout my body. Fuck. Concentrate Johnathan. Don’t fall for this. She always does this.

  Jessica smiles, clearly noticing my precarious situation, “So, have you thought about what I said? Can we finally go back to the way things were before? Can we go back to being happy, Johnathan?”

  “If your definition of being happy is getting dumped on like some used toilet paper, well, I’ve got news for you, Jessica…”

  I want to tell her off, tell her every painful feeling I’ve felt ever since she left me. But I think about it for a while, and realize that I can’t be that kind of person and be with Nikki. Nikki deserves to be with a man who has no room for hate and has no place for the past in his heart.

  “Jessica, when’s my birthday?” I ask.

  “Your birthday? What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Okay, how about an easier question, what kind of movies do I like?”

  “Johnathan, is this going somewhere? Or you just going to continue throwing random questions at me out of the blue?”

  I pull back my hand off the table, and off of her ridiculously soft hands, “Yes and no. This is what I wanted you to realize, Jessica. You don’t know my birthday. You don’t know the things I like. I’m surprised you even know my name. Look, we’ve had a fantastic time together.”

  “We can still have a fantastic time together, Johnathan,” she interrupts.

  “No, we can’t, Jessica. Yes, you’re mind-blowingly hot and gorgeous. And yes, we have had some amazing out-of-this-world sex, but at the end of the day, are you really even happy when you’re with me?”

  “Of course, that’s why I’m here.”

  “Then why did you leave?”

  “I told you why Johnathan. I needed time to think.”

  “You needed to think if I was the best man available for you, Jessica. At first, my pride and ego couldn’t take it, but Nikki helped me realize that some people are really meant for each other. And you realized that far earlier than I did. And I am thankful for that Jessica, always. But we just aren’t good together. We need to break up. Permanently”

  Jessica is taken aback and leans on her chair, “Wow. That was really mature of you, Johnathan. Nikki is a lucky girl.”

  I take a sip of my coffee and reach my hand to her, offering a handshake, “Friends?”

  Jessica looks at my hand, almost disgusted and ready to chew my head off, but her demeanor stays calm and shakes my hand.

  “Friends,” she confirms.

  Without missing a beat, I hear the doorbell chime once again, as I notice a familiar woman enters the coffee shop.

  “Nikki?” I ask as I turn to her, and she waves as she sees me.

  “Perfect timing,” says Jessica as she suddenly strengthens her grip on my hand and pulls me towards her. She kisses me hard.

  At the corner of my eye, I see Nikki in shock and almost in tears as heads for the exit.

  “Wait, Nikki. I can explain!” I shout, but she does not come back.

  Jessica calmly picks up her things and heads for the exit as well.

  “Why?” I ask Jessica as she steps out of the door.

  “Why? Because Karma is a bitch, Johnathan,” she smiles and takes one last step out the door.

  Sixteen

  Nikki

  Upon seeing the scene that's playing out before me, the shock that I felt at first quickly morphs to hurt, and oh god, my eyes are starting to water. A choked sob threatens to spill from my lips, and I cover my mouth with a hand.

  I haven’t expected that seeing Johnathan kiss another woman would hurt this much, but it does, and I feel like my heart is shattering to a million pieces.

  But really, I shouldn't be surprised about feeling like this, especially since I just realized how much I love him. And just fucking recently too. If there's any doubt before for what I truly feel for him, these feelings of despair, sadness and hurt swirling inside me and consuming me whole should be proof enough that I’m irrevocably in love with him.

  God, my life is such a joke, and my stupidity knows no bounds. In a span of a month, I got my heart broken twice.

  Immediately, I turn away from the scene. The sight of them together and being intimate like this physically pains me, and I can't—fuck, I can't let them see what they have reduced me into. A miserable, crying mess—yeah, that's what I am right now.

  As I wander through the streets in a blur, trying to compose myself but unable to, a sort of numbness comes over me. I am conscious of the stares being sent my way, but I'm unable to give a fuck at the moment.

  Eventually, I find an empty bench in a park where I can deposit my pathetic self, and it is only then that I allow myself to think. Immediately, a hundred thoughts go through my head, but there's only one that my mind keeps focusing on.

  I thought he loved me.

  Seeing them together at the cafe earlier at first made me insecure, but I trusted Johnathan. Perhaps he was only there to finally end things off with her? He really seemed into the idea of making whatever this thing between us work. All those talk of special feelings and all those intimate moments spent together certainly had me thinking of a possible future together.

  Oh, how wrong I was.

  Johnathan still loves Jessica. And of course, he does. That's not surprising at all. Why? Because she's perfect and pretty and very irresistible to men. Most importantly, Johnathan loved her first and for quite a long time now.

  How can I fucking compete with that? The answer clearly is that I can't.

  So where does this put me? Out of the picture, certainly.

  Though it hurts me a lot, I don't want to get in between them. They too deserve their own happiness, and I care about Johnathan. I want him to have a happy ever after, even if it's not with me.

  But fuck, he really should've told me about his real feelings and his intentions of getting back with his girlfriend because it sucks so awfully to have them revealed to you like this. He's my friend after all, first and foremost. He knew how it hurt me when Sam suddenly broke up with me out of the blue, without warning or clue, and just left.

  I feel betrayed and insulted by this, and I don't think I can even remain friends with him anymore. It would also hurt so much to see him happy while knowing I'm not the one who's making him feel so.

  I would have to leave—leave this place, leave my work, leave my friends and leave Johnathan. If possible, if I can, I will also leave my feelings and all the beautiful memories behind, but somehow I feel like this would be impossible.

  I allow myself to cry for a few more minutes. The silent tears turn to loud sobs that wrack my whole body. Eventually, I stop and stand up.

  You can't cry forever.

  Immediately, as soon as I'm composed, I head back to my workplace to turn in my resignation. My boss is surprised, but he understands my reasons—some excuse that involved taking care of my daughter, moving back to my parents' and others. He's regretful that a stellar employee is leaving, and hands me a glowing recommendation.

  I have been forcing myself to smile, but this recommendation lifts my mood a bit. With this, finding another job wouldn't be difficult at all.

  I'm currently packing our stuff in boxes when my phone rings. It's Sam.

  Hesitating for a bit, I finally answer my phone after four rings. "Hello?"

  "Nikki, hi," my old boyfriend's voice says from the other line. "I hope I didn't catch you in a bad time?"

  "Oh no, not at all," I r
eply as I fold some clothes. "Why did you call?"

  "I've been thinking, and uhh, it's better to tell you this personally. Can I take you out for dinner? Tomorrow maybe? At that favorite Italian restaurant of yours. I could pick you up at around seven pm?"

  "I can't, Sam."

  "You can't or you won't?"

  "I can't," I answer him, pausing from my packing and giving the conversation my whole attention. "I'm busy packing. I'm moving back to my parents'."

  "What? Why?"

  "Because there's nothing left for me here. You of all people should know that."

  "But your work...?"

  "I'll be fine. I got a wonderful recommendation from the Accounting Head so I'll be able to work anywhere."

  There's a pause from the other line so I ask him. "What was it that you wanted to talk to me personally about?"

  Sam sighs. "I was hoping to ask you if you're willing to give us another chance. I did you wrong, Nikki, I know, and I'm so sorry. I've been a right idiot and ruined our relationship. But I've been thinking, it's worth giving us another chance, for Kaley at least, and I want to make it all up to you."

  I bit my lip as I take in what he said. If he gave me this call a week ago, I would've agreed immediately, but now, I'm hurting and my heart firmly belongs to another. Saying yes would be unfair to Sam, and it would feel awful for me too. I don't want Kaley to be the reason for both our misery because, right now, I can already tell that any more attempt at a relationship between Sam and I won't work.

  "I'm sorry, Sam, but I would have to decline," I tell him gently. "I don't think I can do that. I've moved on. We should just focus on becoming better parents for Kaley. She matters more than patching this broken relationship of ours. You can always come and see her, you know? But I'm definitely going home, and nothing can change my mind."

  Sam is silent for awhile until I hear him exhale a shaking breath. "Okay...okay, I respect your decision. I'm truly sorry, Nikki, and you will always have a place in my heart. Can I come tomorrow? I wanna see yo—I wanna see Kaley."

  "Sure, Sam," I answer, feeling a bit bittersweet. "Come by tomorrow afternoon."

  We end the call, and I take a moment to breathe before I continue my packing.

  Seventeen

  Johnathan

  I look for Nikki. It's only been a few minutes since I saw her leave so she can't have gone far. However, my searching proves to be fruitless, and I start to worry.

  When she saw Jessica kissing me, I literally felt my heart squeeze at the immense hurt I that I could see on Nikki's face. I instantly hated that expression on her—Nikki should only be smiling, happy, she deserves the whole world—and I swore right then and there to do everything I can so she won't have to make a face like that again. Technically, it really wasn't my fault because the kiss was forced on me, but nevertheless, I still played a part, and really, if I have told her about this meeting with Jessica, there would have been no misunderstanding in the first place.

  But how was I supposed to predict that she'd kiss me like that suddenly and totally out of the blue? Remembering my ex-girlfriend and what the kiss had done to Nikki makes me feel frustrated so I put it out of my mind for the moment.

  It's been an hour already, and I try to call Nikki's number once again. Like with the previous calls, I'm met with disappointment. Cleary, she doesn't want to talk to me and has turned off her phone.

  It's best if I go directly to her house, that I tell her what happened face to face. I need to let her know that this is all a misunderstanding, and that she, only Nikki, is the one that possesses my heart.

  Someone above must be really pissed at me because the luck, the fates, or whatever higher power there is in this world, is really not on my side. I'm driving on my car, on my way to Nikki's apartment when I'm suddenly stuck in traffic. Apparently, there's a big accident that happened just a few cars ahead of me, and what should've been a fifteen minute drive turned into hours.

  Eventually, I finally arrive at Nikki's place, but the place is dark. I knock a few times, but there's no one answering. I give up, tired as hell, but determined to come back here tomorrow so I can explain everything that happened earlier.

  I end up sleeping at my old apartment. It's a restless sleep involving a lot of tossing and turning. Clearly, I'm at unease, and I just want this misunderstanding to be cleared up and forgotten.

  Since I slept really late, I end up waking later than usual. I curse when I see the time. I plan to go to Nikki's before going to work, but it seems like work today would have to wait. Nikki comes first.

  Thankfully, there's no more unexpected traffic, and I arrive at Nikki's apartment in only thirteen minutes. What greets me at the door though isn’t her but boxes of my stuff piled up on top of each other. The sight alarms me—what's the meaning of this? Is she throwing me out? Without even a word?—and I immediately start knocking on the door. The knocking turns into banging as no one is answering me.

  "Nikki! Open up! Please, I can explain! What happened at the cafe yesterday is only a misunderstanding! Nikki!"

  My throat and my hand start to hurt from all the shouting and pounding that I'm doing, and I stop, groaning in frustration.

  It seems like I can't catch a break.

  I go back to my car, deciding that I should just go to work then drop by the accounting department later where I'm sure to catch Nikki. Better yet, catch Nikki first before I start working.

  All that's happening is stressing the fuck out of me, and I just really need to see Nikki before I fucking lose it.

  Upon arriving at our company building, I power walk through the entrance, through the hallways, into the accounting department, before going straight to Nikki's desk.

  And she's not there and so all of her stuff.

  "What the fuck?!" I exclaim which earns the attention of the person that's about to pass me by.

  "Were you looking for Nikki, Johnathan?"

  I turn to look at the guy and recognize him as another accountant whose name escapes me at the moment. I remember drinking with him at one company party so perhaps that's why he's being quite familiar. "Yeah, you know where she is? And her stuff...it's not here. What's going on?"

  "She resigned," he replies. "She just packed her stuff too."

  "Resigned?!" I almost yell in shock, my eyes wide.

  "Yeah, and I think you just missed her—uhh, Johnathan?"

  I didn't wait for him to finish before I'm off, running like the hell hounds are after me. I rush out of the accounting department, through the hallways, towards the exit and all the while, I bump into literally every fucking person in this building. I must have yelled a hundred apologies and even knock what looks like a thousand papers into the air when I crash into an intern who's in charge of photocopying documents before I finally arrive at the exit. The ruckus I made would've been comical, rom-com worthy, if only it isn't me who's panting and heaving right now.

  "Dammit, I-I'm not as f-fit as I used to be," I wheeze as I clutch my knees.

  I push myself to walk to the parking lot, and of fucking course, Nikki's car isn't there anymore.

  It seems like I really, really can't catch a break. At all.

  "Dammit!"

  I trudge into my apartment before I flop myself on the sofa, groaning in tiredness.

  After that whole stupid chase-after-the-girl scene which became a hot topic for everyone in the company building, I had to concentrate fully on work as I have meetings after meetings with major clients. There's also so much monitoring and supervising to do after that by the end of the day, I was totally exhausted and just went straight to home.

  Nikki, once again, occupies my thoughts. The woman really needs to get better at communicating because this is just getting crazy and ridiculous. Okay, I know—the pot calling the kettle black—I should've been better at communicating too because then, all of this wouldn't be happening.

  Does Nikki really hate me now that she'd go through such great lengths to avoid me? I mean, she r
esigned for fuck's sake. What if she ends up moving away too?

  "Holy shit!"

  She's not going to do that, is she?

  The thought of her and Kaley moving away without me at least making up with Nikki and clearing the misunderstanding scares me so much.

  'Well, you always have Jessica,' a small voice says from within me.

  "Fuck, the devil is talking to me right now. That or I'm developing a case of schizophrenia."

  The sudden thought is so wrong that I banish it immediately from my head.

  I'm in love with Nikki, and it's she who I want to be with.

  It's my last thought as I lean back on my soft couch, stress and tiredness taking their toll, before sleep consumes me.

  Eighteen

  Nikki

  It's been only a day since I last saw Johnathan, and yet, I miss him terribly already. Maybe its because of the knowledge that I wouldn't be spending time with him anymore, possibly not even see him anymore, that exacerbates this feeling.

  I shake my head, hoping it would help me dislodge the persistent thoughts running through my head, but of course the action is in vain. He's still all I can think about.

  I dread to think about what the days ahead will be like when I'm back home with my parents and there are miles and so many miles that stand apart between Johnathan and I. The loneliness and heartbreak I'm already feeling now is awful. I feel like it will only worsen.

  But, as they say, time will heal all wounds. It will get better for sure. I just need to focus on Kaley and find a new job as soon as possible.

  These are the thoughts I'm dwelling on while packing stuff in the kitchen when the doorbell rings.

  "Coming!" I yell, before making my way towards the door, already knowing who's on the other side. After all, Johnathan should still be at work now.