Everlasting Flame

by Katelyn Anderson

  Chapter Fifteen

  The only thing I was grateful for was being so exhausted that I didn’t have any dreams. I was grateful because I knew if I hadn’t been so damn tired, my dreams would have been the horrific replay of what I went through the previous day. It was just another traumatic event to add to my memory bank of things I’d rather not think about ever again.

  Death seemed to follow me wherever I went. That’s what happens when you make the decision to become an assassin. I should have taken that into consideration when I began my trip of revenge to bring down the agency. I never knew what killing did to a person. It felt like my soul had been ripped into shreds. Seeing all those people burn, knowing that it was my fault, just made me feel awful. I knew they were criminals but I still felt terrible. I promised myself I would be a merciful and quick killer. They burned and suffered. I hoped I wouldn’t have to do something like that again. I would try my best to avoid it.

  Whiskers was curled up on the pillow next to me. He had one eye open, keeping watch over me. I gave him a quick pat on the head, listening to him purr. I scratched behind his ginger and black ears. He rubbed his head against my palm, resting it there when I stopped patting him. He was sweet and cuddly. I thought cats were notorious for clawing people’s faces off. Not Whiskers. He liked me. I had never seen a cat who was completely white with only the ears and tail multicoloured. Then again, I hadn’t really seen that many cats.

  I glanced down and noticed that I was wearing a white dress shirt. The clothes I had worn last night were completely soaked from the rain. I had a vague memory of Lorenzo undressing me with his eyes closed. He didn’t have any clothes my size lying around so had to make do with an alternative. He gave me a clean and warm shirt to wear before tucking me into bed. He got brownie points for not peeking.

  I wasn’t sure how long I wanted to stay here for. After yesterday, I didn’t really know what to do or think anymore. I had wiped out every immortal gang in town in one day. I had put a stop to their drug and slavery trade, as well as everything else they poisoned our city with. It would make our city a better place temporarily, until a new threat rose. The agency would always be a threat until they were taken care of. I knew that. Everyone else knew that. But nobody had the strength to do anything. Only I could. I had to claim credit for those murders, even though I wasn’t proud of what I had done. The agency would take me in with open arms, not knowing I was a Trojan horse. I would bring them down from the inside. That had been my plan all along. But how did I get their attention without getting caught by the wrong person?

  “Lorenzo?” I called out, sitting up in bed. I wasn’t sure what time it was. The curtains were shut, so was the door. The room was dark and only a slither of light peeped through the gaps.

  “Just a minute,” he called back.

  The floorboards creaked as he made his way towards my room. The door opened slightly and he popped his head through. That was definitely sunlight.

  “What’s up?”

  “What’s happening outside?” I asked.

  Lorenzo let out a heavy sigh and entered the room, leaving the door open. He walked over to the window and opened the curtains before slinking back to the doorway. Light flooded the room, heavy with an afternoon glow. I had been out for hours. That was the longest I had ever slept in history.

  “Chicago is no longer on lock down. The panic has subsided after Dane released a statement to the press. The agency took the credit for wiping out the scum of the city, his words. Undoubtedly he’s taking all the glory to lure the real killer out. They’ll set a trap,” Lorenzo said, sounding certain.

  “A trap to kill or capture?”

  “Most likely the second but if you want to be taken in on your own terms, I suggest coming up with a different way.”

  I paused for thought but couldn’t come up with anything. “Any suggestions?”

  “Take a break to recover. You went through a lot yesterday.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I lied. “Do you have any helpful suggestions?”

  “Still stubborn as always. I do have an idea but it’s crazy.”

  “You’re speaking with the person who wiped out entire gangs yesterday with a poison that set them ablaze. Whatever idea you have in mind won’t be as crazy as that. That much I can guarantee you.”

  “Point taken. How are you feeling after–”

  “I don’t need a councillor, Lorenzo. I need information,” I interrupted him curtly, eyes narrowed. “I’m fine.”

  “Whatever,” he said, sounding unconvinced. “There’s a nightclub in town that has a secret downstairs arrangement, an underground fighting ring. Entry is strictly members only but I know Cyrus has a pass.”

  Why was I not surprised that Cyrus had a pass? He had his hand in every dodgy thing in town.

  “What’s does an underground fighting ring have to do with the agency?” I said, not making the connection on my own.

  “I’m glad you asked. Dane’s right-hand man manages the club and watches the fights from time to time. You’ll get his attention for sure.”

  “Why?”

  “Only men are allowed to fight.”

  I snorted with disapproval. “Girls can fight too. I’ll make that quite clear when I’m in the ring.”

  “Good. That’s what I was counting on. Wipe the floor with them.”

  “If they’re not the size of trucks, I won’t have any issues.”

  “No trucks. They’re not professionals, just human men claiming to be stronger than everyone else. If Cyrus has taught you well, they won’t last ten seconds.”

  “How did Cyrus get membership if he’s immortal?”

  “Illusions,” Lorenzo replied simply. “That’s what makes him so lethal. He can make a whole room see what he wants them to. Don’t ever forget how dangerous he is.”

  “I can look after myself,” I responded defensively, folding my arms.

  “You didn’t carry yourself here last night.”

  “That’s because Cyrus–”

  “Shot you,” Lorenzo finished for me. “He said it was an accident. I know I should take his word for it but I’ve never really trusted him with anything.”

  “You saying he shot me deliberately?”

  Lorenzo shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “Don’t be absurd. Yes, he’s a jerk, but he didn’t deliberately shoot me. You don’t know the full story about what happened back in the warehouse. It was a through and through. The bullet wasn’t meant for me.”

  “Cyrus is very good at what he does. He should know the capabilities of the weapons he uses. Whether it was a miscalculation, deliberate, or an accident, it shouldn’t have happened. He was obviously in a rush to get to you,” Lorenzo paused for thought, looking as if he was trying to decide whether or not to finish his sentence. The hesitation was obvious. He just stared blankly at me, wondering, waiting, thinking really hard about something.

  “Spit it out,” I prompted.

  “I saw it last night. He loves you.”

  I laughed. I had to hold my ribs because they started to hurt from how hard I was laughing. “You’re hilarious.”

  “The Cyrus I know would have made immediate plans for stage two of the operation. He wouldn’t have cared what state you were in. Instead, he left you in my care, to give you time to make the decision on your own when you were ready to move forward. Maybe you don’t see it, but I do. He loves you.”

  “Cut it out, Lorenzo. You can’t seriously expect me to believe that he loves me? He’s so... so... unloving and cold. Whatever it was you saw last night, you were imagining things. Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “You’re getting defensive.”

  “Am not! I’m merely stating facts.”

  “You’re blushing.”

  “Shut up! God, you are so infuriating!” I exclaimed, heaving my pillow across the room. It smacked him in the face. He had ample time to duck or deflect but he took it like a champ because he was too busy laughing.

  “Quit
winding her up, Lorenzo. She’ll knock you out cold if you’re not careful,” a familiar voice uttered from the hallway. I’d never forget that voice, not in a million years.

  My chest grew tight and my heart fluttered. It had been nearly three years since I had seen or heard from Damian. Everything seemed to hit me all at once. The guilt of leaving him behind. The fear of being rejected by him after becoming a killer. Being anxious, thinking that he no longer cared about me the way he used to, back when I was young and innocent. I was almost eighteen now. I had grown up without him. I wasn’t the same afraid, little girl he knew. I was brave. I was stronger. I was a killer.

  None of that mattered. Damian was already hugging me tightly before I had the chance to realise he was right in front of me. He didn’t care about what I had become. I could feel the warmth of his love as he held me. I hugged him back. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my shoulders trembled from quiet sobs. His vanilla scent soothed me. His hug slowly weaved the broken pieces of my soul back together. He made me feel safe. He made the guilt of killing all those people melt away in a single moment. I missed him. I had missed him like you wouldn’t believe.

  “You okay?” Damian asked, continuing to hold me. He was too scared to let go. Maybe he knew I would break if he did.

  “No,” I sobbed, holding him tighter. “I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to see those people burn.”

  “I know, my dear. I know,” he replied gently, rubbing my back when the sobbing got louder. “Try not to dwell on those turn of events. You did what you had to. Ridding the city of corrupted immortals saved a lot of lives. You’ll be able to move past this. I know you will because you are brave. You’ve always been brave.”

  “I froze up, Damian. If it hadn’t been for Cyrus, I’d be dead. That wasn’t bravery, it was cowardice.”

  “To be brave is to overcome the things that make you afraid. Being afraid of something doesn’t make you weak. Being afraid gives you the opportunity to be stronger. Even without Cyrus, you would have figured a way out of that mess because you never give up. Don’t think of the what ifs. What is done is done. Take all the time you need. None of us will judge you or treat you any differently. We are here for you. We will always be here for you.”

  “I’ve missed you,” I said through my tears.

  “I’ve missed you too, Joan.”

  I wasn’t sure how long we sat there holding onto each other. I didn’t want to let him go. He was so warm. I had missed this sense of security. Cyrus had taught me how to look after myself but he never gave me something like this. He never held me close, not once, until last night when he had to rush me to Lorenzo’s. Sometimes you needed the right person to hug, a person that could make the pain disappear. Damian was my person.

  “I brought some of your clothes with me. They’re in a bag at the foot of your bed, on the floor. I figured you wouldn’t want to be stuck wearing Lorenzo’s clothes,” Damian said, pulling away from our hug. “I’m not staying for long. I’ll come by later, tomorrow perhaps. I need to get home before Jacqueline does.”

  I wiped my face to dry my cheeks. “Let me guess... I’m still not in her good graces?”

  “She’ll get over it eventually,” Lorenzo said from the door. I hadn’t realised he was still standing there. He had been so quiet.

  “It’s been almost three years. She sure knows how to hold grudges,” I muttered.

  Damian put his hand on the back of my head and leaned his forehead to mine. “Take care of yourself, ma belle ange.”

  I hadn’t heard that nickname in such a long time. It gave me an idea. I needed something else to get the agency’s attention in the fighting ring. I needed a symbol.

  I smiled. “I’ll try.”

  “And if Lorenzo gives you any grief, please refrain from kicking his ass. He’s delicate and not as quick as Cyrus,” Damian said, slipping off the bed.

  “Delicate? Have you seen my muscles?” Lorenzo retorted, snorting. “Joan’s this cute and innocent assassin. She doesn’t look lethal.”

  “Joan, tell Lorenzo what you did last night to get close with the Russians,” Damian hinted, his gaze still fixed on Lorenzo.

  “You know about that?” I asked in a sharp breath, taken aback. I was going to take that secret to the grave. I wasn’t proud of what I did. I was even more ashamed knowing that Damian found out.

  “Damian has a knack of knowing everything. Going by the way he’s eyeing me up, it’s not a nice story,” Lorenzo said.

  “It involves a knife in a place guys never want a knife to be,” I replied, giving Lorenzo the most pleasant smile I could. “A girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. You’ll find it in your best interest not to get on the wrong side of me.”

  Lorenzo awkwardly cleared his throat. “Duly noted. She’s almost as scary as you, Damian.”

  “I’m a teddy bear,” Damian said, laughing after he spoke. “Most of the time,” he added, resting his hand on Lorenzo’s shoulder when he got to the door. “Look after her.”

  “Always, although I think she’s quite capable of looking after herself,” Lorenzo mentioned, that wary gaze set on me.

  Damian gave Lorenzo a pat on the back before making his way out of the bedroom.

  “Ciao,” Damian called out, the door slamming shut behind him. I guess Lorenzo fixed the door after Cyrus broke it down.

  If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Lorenzo was making a reassessment of me. I made him wary. Good. Then again, it was never my intention to make those I cared about afraid of me. I’d never hurt Lorenzo. He had always shown me kindness, even if underneath it all he had a flirtatious side to him. He was never overbearing but now that I was older, I had the sneaky suspicion he was going to reveal his true self. He wouldn’t dare do anything, right? I was Damian’s niece. I was basically off limits. But when did that ever stop someone from doing something stupid?

  “When were you planning on scoping out the fighting ring?” Lorenzo asked, continuing to stand in the doorway. His arms were folded and he was leaning up against the doorframe.

  “Is tonight out of the question?”

  “Basically but not surprising. I’ll give Cyrus a call. It will be strictly observing. We need an overall plan.”

  “Will the agency expect the real killer to come out of hiding straight away?”

  “Dane is a tricky person. He thinks a hundred steps ahead of everyone else. Whatever we have planned needs to be flawless. We need a concrete story. For starters, you living with Cyrus and Renée has to end. You’ll need an apartment and live on your own. I’m sure Cyrus already has one set up for you. When are you eighteen?”

  “End of the week.”

  “That’s more than enough time to set things in motion. I’ll call him. Have a shower, get dressed. I’ll make you something to eat.”

  “Lorenzo?” I asked, stopping him from leaving.

  “What’s up?”

  “Did you mean what you said earlier, about Cyrus?”

  “That he loves you?”

  I nodded, finding it hard to do much else. It didn’t seem logical that Cyrus loved me. Sure, he cared about me, in his own way. But love? I didn’t think he was capable of such an emotion.

  “Yeah, I meant it. He’d be a rubbish boyfriend. You’d be better off with someone sweeter. I’m up for grabs,” Lorenzo said, grinning.

  “Absolutely not.”

  “You called me gorgeous.”

  “Not out loud,” I retorted defensively. That was just as bad as admitting it. “Go make that phone call and stop pushing your luck. We aren’t happening. Not ever.”

  “Your loss, sweetheart,” he said with a wave, leaving the room chuckling.

  Why I oughta...

  I crawled to the end of the bed and rummaged through the bag Damian brought that was filled with my clothes. I pulled out a pair of black jeans, other essentials, and a dark grey singlet. I tucked the clothes under my arm and held the ends of Lorenzo’s shirt down so when I walked out into the hall, I
wouldn’t flash my underwear. The last thing I needed was Lorenzo making a snide remark, especially when I was still trying to wrap my head around the idea that Cyrus loved me.

  The bathroom was quite small; I locked the door behind me. The floor felt cold on my feet. Black tiles dotted with silver specks covered the entire bathroom. It was like being caught in the centre of the night sky. The vanity was the same colour as the tiles, blending in with the wall. The only thing that made it visible was the silver tap. I wouldn’t have noticed it otherwise.

  I stared blankly at the empty space in front of me. There were two round taps on the wall that looked like shower controls but there was no showerhead, nor was there an enclosed space surrounded by glass. There was a black shelf on the wall that held shampoo, soap, the works, so I was a bit confused. I looked up at the roof and saw a large metal square dotted with thousands of holes. I had never seen that sort of shower head before.

  I folded my clean clothes and put them on the bathroom vanity. I slipped out of my other clothes, putting them onto the vanity also so they wouldn’t get wet. I turned the taps on the wall. Water poured from the roof like rain. The showerhead was lit with LED lighting, an array of purple and blue lights making the water colourful. It was beautiful. I was basically showering under a waterfall. It was quite the experience. I was so relaxed.

  I spent longer in the shower than I should have. Could you blame me? Who would want to leave this amazing space?

  I reluctantly switched off the water and grabbed a hanging towel off the door. It smelled of Lorenzo’s cologne, a sweet melody of apple and cinnamon, like warm home baking. It was comforting.

  There was a knock at the door.

  “Yeah?” I asked, drying off and reaching for my clothes.

  “Food’s done. Cyrus can’t go to the underground fighting ring. If he shows up with his Nikolai alias, they’re going to immediately pin the murders on him. So I’ll be accompanying you.”

  “How are we going to get in without a pass?” I was getting dressed as I spoke through the door.

  “I made one. Cyrus sent me a photo of the coin. Don’t worry, I’m a professional and have it under control. He said not to make a scene and only observe, which is what I had in mind anyway.”

  “Alright, I can do that. A coin is the pass to get in?”

  “Apparently.”

  “I’m sure you can handle the finer points.”

  “Is that a lack of confidence I hear in your voice?”

  I laughed quietly and zipped up my jeans. Once I had finished getting dressed, I realised I didn’t have anything to brush my hair with. I had a quick flick through the cabinet but couldn’t find anything.

  I unlocked the bathroom door and immediately stepped back. Lorenzo was standing right there, in my personal bubble. There was a freshly made sandwich in his possession, sitting innocently on a plate, ready to be eaten.

  “Do you have a hairbrush?” I asked.

  “The infamous subject change. You’ve been hanging around Renée for too long. I’ll see if I can find one.”

  “Nice shower, by the way.”

  “That’s one of the things the ladies love when I show them the bathroom.”

  “I don’t want to know the other thing because I have a feeling they don’t shower alone.”

  Lorenzo tapped his nose and chuckled. “One does not simply divulge in–”

  “Go find me a hairbrush,” I interrupted him before he had the chance to finish his sentence. I had a feeling it was going to be perverted.

  I snatched the plate off him and chomped down on the sandwich. It was lettuce, cheese, tomato, ham and mayonnaise. Yum.

  “You’re no fun, Joan,” he said with a laugh, making his way down the hallway.

  “Fun and I don’t mix,” I replied once I swallowed a bite of my sandwich.

  “Obviously,” he called out from somewhere. He had disappeared into a room. I stayed where I was.

  “Thanks for the sandwich, it’s good.”

  “I’m good at other things if you’ll let–”

  “Shut up,” I cut across him.

  “I like the feisty ones,” he said, growling after he spoke. “I’m messing with you, sweetheart. I’ve missed you. I’ll keep the flirting to a minimum.”

  “I’d prefer a zero.”

  “Fine, fine. I’ll behave.”

  “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

  “Is a comb ok? It’s all I got.”

  “It will do.”

  Lorenzo’s phone started ringing.

  “What’s up?” Lorenzo answered, wandering down the hall, spinning the comb in his free hand. He gave me the comb, took my empty plate, and leaned up against the wall, folding one arm across his chest. He watched me uncoil my hair from the towel and looked away immediately when I scowled at him for staring.

  “Change of plans. Joan needs to lay low for a while. Get her settled into her new apartment, I’ll text you the address. She can’t be seen in town right now. Are you capable of doing that for me?” Cyrus said from the other line, voice snappy.

  “Why can’t you take her?” Lorenzo questioned, tone equally snappy.

  “Because she was spotted with me. I got caught on surveillance last night when I was heading to yours. I can only manipulate minds, not technology.”

  “Bully for you. I’ll keep her hidden and safe. Unlike you, I can manipulate both with the right tools.”

  “That’s because you are a tool,” Cyrus said, hanging up straight afterwards.

  The look on Lorenzo’s face was priceless.

  I laughed so hard that I had to balance myself on the wall.

  “Cyrus: one. Lorenzo: zero,” I said once I managed to stop laughing.

  “I can see your sass rubbed off on him. He never used to be so quick off the mark,” Lorenzo muttered, slipping his phone into his pocket.

  “I have that effect on people.”

  “Clearly,” Lorenzo said with a pause, shaking his head. “Time to make a thingamajig. Pack what things you have. We’ll be leaving when the sun goes down.”

  “What am I supposed to do until then?”

  “I can think of many things. Most are inappropriate and not worth sharing if you plan on stabbing me should I choose to share.”

  “You are unbelievable.”

  “What? You asked.”

  “This is why we can’t have nice things,” I said, pointing my finger at him when he opened his mouth to say something. “Don’t you dare.”

  Lorenzo gave me a heart melting smile. “I said nothing.”

  “You didn’t have to. It was all over that handsome face of yours.”

  “Oh, so I’m handsome now?”

  “Get out of my face before I bust out ninja moves you will barely recover from.”

  “Yes ma’am,” he said with an imaginary hat tilt, walking away from me before I had the chance to smack him. That cheery whistle of his echoed down the hallway.

  I couldn’t help but laugh and shake my head. Despite everything I went through yesterday, Lorenzo made me forget. He made me laugh. He made me feel emotions I hadn’t felt in a long time. It was the light inside of me that Cyrus had tried to snuff out during our training. That light was trying to emerge from the darkness. It wasn’t time, not yet. I still had a job to do. There were so many things left I needed to do. Light had no place for the dark territory I was venturing into. Then again, that light might be the only thing responsible for leading me back out of the darkness. I would have to hold onto that light, like it was the last precious thing left on Earth.