Death of a Blueberry Tart

by Lee Hollis

  Peggy turned to Edie. “Excuse us, Edie, I’m going to be the dutiful wife and adhere to my crazy husband’s wishes.”

  “I understand. Be sure to stick around after the service. I made blueberry tarts.”

  “Yummy . . . see you later,” Peggy said, smiling, nodding to Hayley as she stood up and followed her husband.

  There was no doubt in her mind that Owen did not want to sit anywhere near Hayley out of fear she might try to question him about that mysterious fight between him and Caskie on the day she was killed.

  Hayley watched Owen drag Peggy all the way down to the front pew and sit down on the end. He cranked his head around and glared at Hayley for a few seconds before spinning back around so he could blatantly ignore her.

  Hayley checked her watch. The service was scheduled to begin in two minutes. Reverend Staples emerged from a side door and took his place at the podium off to the left of the coffin. Edie sat upright at the sight of her husband, a big smile plastered on her face, excited, almost ready to applaud wildly as if she was at a Tom Jones concert.

  Reverend Staples shuffled his index cards, studying them, and then looked out at the crowd, ready to begin, when the door to the church slammed open and two more mourners shuffled in.

  It was Regina Knoxville, Caskie’s best friend, and her husband, Albert.

  Reverend Staples allowed them time to find some seats before launching into his prepared spiel.

  Regina, clutching her purse like a lifeline, wearing a tight-fitting sexy black dress with a plunging neckline arguably inappropriate for church let alone a funeral, clung to her short, wiry husband, who was holding her up with a supportive hand underneath her elbow. They made their way down the aisle, stopping at the pew where Sheila, Celeste, and Jane were seated. There was absolute silence in the entire church as the three women locked eyes with Regina.

  Regina’s nostrils flared and she stumbled a bit, her anger almost overwhelming her. Albert slid a bony arm around her tiny waist, steadying her. Regina then focused her attention on Celeste, and for a moment, Hayley thought Regina might spit at her. It was no secret to everyone in the room of a certain age that back in the day, after high school and before Celeste married Liddy’s father, she and Albert had been an item. Like Regina, Celeste had actually been more interested in Albert’s family money than crushingly boring Albert himself. This history obviously did not sit well with his first and only wife, Regina, and she made no bones about it.

  There were a few intermittent hushed whispers from surrounding mourners watching the friction between Caskie Lemon-Hogg’s best friend and her three unambiguous enemies. Sheila, Celeste, and Jane had no choice but to acknowledge Regina with polite nods, but Regina was having none of it. She slowly, intentionally turned her back on them, as if she couldn’t stomach looking at them anymore. This dramatic move caused some more murmuring.

  Reverend Staples, who did not like to be upstaged, tapped his foot, impatiently waiting for Regina to stop stealing focus. With her devoted husband’s help, Regina finally moved to the opposite side of the aisle and excused herself as she pushed her way to the middle of the pew directly in front of Hayley. Regina sat down at the first open space, forcing Albert to practically crawl over her to get to the other side of her and sit down. Reverend Staples finally began, welcoming everyone. Hayley debated with herself briefly on whether or not she should say something to Regina, and then decided to err on the side of caution and at least be polite. She tapped Regina gently on the shoulder. Regina slowly turned around, nostrils still flaring as her angry eyes fell upon Hayley.

  “I’m so sorry for your loss . . .” Hayley whispered.

  Regina never deigned to even bother with a response. Hayley was Sheila’s daughter after all, and in her mind, the apple did not fall far from the tree. She simply gave Hayley an irritated look and turned back around.

  Edie, who had been transfixed listening to her husband speak from the podium, suddenly snapped out of it and glared at Hayley. She was not amused in the slightest that Hayley was talking during her husband’s sermon. “Shhhh . . .”

  Hayley gave her an apologetic look and then redirected her attention toward Reverend Staples.

  “It is with great sadness that today we say goodbye to one of our own . . . Caskie Lemon-Hogg was a resident of Bar Harbor her entire life . . .”

  “Oh my God! Not again!” a man screamed.

  Everyone in the church jumped with a start. Heads swiveled around to see who was the source of such a sudden outburst.

  Hayley knew exactly who was responsible because the man who had shouted and interrupted the sermon was sitting right next to her and he had nearly busted her eardrum.

  It was Bruce.

  His head was down and he was nervously knocking his knees together and ringing his hands. His eyes were squeezed shut and he said in a low voice, “Is she still looking at me, Hayley?”

  Hayley sighed and glanced at the prone body of the deceased, still lying in the coffin with her eyes closed, just as she had been the whole time. Hayley put a hand on Bruce’s hunched back. “No, sweetheart, she’s not.”

  Edie stared at both of them and then leaned over closer to Hayley and whispered, “I’ll get you Dr. Hishmeh’s number.”

  Chapter 19

  When it was time for Regina Knoxville to deliver her eulogy there was a palpable tension in the air as she clutched a tissue in her fingers and made her way to the front of the church. Reverend Staples stepped aside, giving her a wide berth.

  When Regina took her place behind the podium and adjusted the microphone downward because she was a foot shorter than the towering minister, it caused some loud feedback that startled the gathered mourners. Then, Regina blew her nose into the tissue and stuffed it down her cleavage. She cleared her throat and looked out into the audience, her eyes watery and bloodshot, her bottom lip quivering.

  “Let me tell you something about Caskie Lemon-Hogg, a wonderful, kind, generous woman, who also happened to be my best friend . . .” Regina paused. “One night, about four or five years ago, we talked about when the day came that one of us passed on to the other side . . . what type of service we would like to have, what kind of arrangements we’d like made . . . and Caskie told me she wanted to be cremated . . . because it would be her last chance to have, in her words, a ‘smoking-hot body just like yours, Regina . . .’”

  There was silence throughout the church as everyone took this in, followed by some titters, then outright, raucous laughter. Hayley quickly joined in, appreciative of the fact that Regina had alleviated some of the tension with a joke.

  Regina waited for the laughter to die down before continuing. “Of course, later on, Caskie changed her mind and decided it would be best if she was buried in a plot reserved for her next to her loving parents in the Ledgelawn Cemetery, and that’s where we will say our final goodbyes later today. Caskie lived in Bar Harbor her whole life, and for those of us who knew her, really knew her,” Regina said, pointedly glaring at Sheila, Celeste, and Jane, who all stared down at their shoes, trying not to make eye contact with her, “we saw the goodness in her. Caskie never had children of her own, but she volunteered as a chaperone at school dances and on class trips. She struggled with dyslexia her whole life and started a scholarship fund for students with learning disabilities. She was known around town for tirelessly picking blueberries every summer, and yes, she would sell some to local businesses, but she would also generously donate many more to the Sonogee assisted living facility for the elderly, before it closed, so the kitchen staff could make the residents blueberry muffins and pies and pancakes. Did you know that about her?”

  There was silence in the church as Regina paused.

  She fixed her eyes on Sheila, Celeste, and Jane again. “Did any of you know that about Caskie?”

  More uncomfortable silence.

  Regina’s eyes narrowed. “Sheila, would you like to say something?”

  Hayley watched her mother squirm for a few seconds b
efore she vigorously shook her head.

  But Regina was on a mission and not about to let her off the hook. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you . . .”

  Sheila looked up, embarrassed and croaked, “No . . .”

  “That’s a shame. You knew Caskie most of your life, so I thought you might have a memory you’d like to share. What about you, Celeste?”

  Liddy’s mother looked around, mortified to be called out like this. “No, thank you . . .”

  “That’s a shame. You’re such a good public speaker, especially at town council meetings when you’re talking about a zoning law that’s in your best interest . . .”

  Celeste waved her off, looking down at the floor.

  “Jane? You like to express your opinion, whether anyone asks for it or not. What about you? Would you like to say something about Caskie?”

  Jane shook her head, looking around for any means of escape.

  “No? Nothing? You three are here because I assume you considered Caskie your friend, correct?”

  Nothing from the mothers. Their eyes were all now glued back to the floor. Hayley felt terrible for them.

  “The circumstances surrounding Caskie’s death are no secret,” Regina said, speaking into the microphone so her words echoed throughout the church even louder. “Our dear friend was murdered!”

  Bruce leaned into Hayley and whispered, “Oh boy, here we go . . .”

  “Someone strangled her!”

  Revered Staples began to sweat. A memorial service was not the occasion to discuss the unpleasant details of Caskie’s early demise. He started to stand up, but Regina fired him a fierce look, warning him to back off, and he quickly sat down in his chair without incident.

  “Luckily the police have arrested a suspect. A man we all know, Rupert Stiles. Rupert too has lived in Bar Harbor his whole life. He has never caused any trouble, and yes, he is awfully fond of the sauce, and has been known to mouth off when he shouldn’t. But does that make him a violent man? Not in my mind. In fact, the Rupert Stiles I have known since kindergarten has never had a violent bone in his body. I know this is probably not an appropriate time to discuss this, but I knew Caskie, and how she always stood up for those who were treated unfairly, and I know she would never want the wrong person to go to prison. No, the Caskie I know is right now screaming for justice, and I feel it is my responsibility to take up the mantle and see that justice is done!”

  Hayley noticed Regina’s husband, Albert, desperately trying to signal his wife to wrap it up before things got too out of hand, but Regina was not about to be stopped now. Hayley suddenly felt a wave of nausea over so adamantly defending Rupert to Edie Staples, because now it appeared as if she was squarely on Regina’s side. And nothing could be worse because Hayley knew what was coming next.

  Regina gripped the sides of the podium like a Baptist minister preaching the gospel and screamed into the microphone, “Rupert Stiles is innocent! We all know it!”

  There was more feedback, so loud many people had to cover their ears.

  Regina threw her arms up in the air. “He had nothing against Caskie! They were friends! Which begs the question, who were Caskie’s enemies?”

  Stunned silence.

  Everyone seemed to brace themselves.

  Regina pointed a finger at Sheila, Celeste, and Jane. “Right there! In this room! They were her enemies! They made it crystal clear they hated her, and I find it offensive and disgustingly hypocritical that they dare to show their faces here in this church, on this day, when we are gathered here to pay our love and respect for Caskie! You ladies don’t belong here!”

  Edie gasped next to Hayley, as did several other people in the room, at the harshness of Regina’s words.

  “Shame on you! Go on! Get out! Let us mourn our friend in peace!” Regina wailed.

  Sheila, Celeste, and Jane exchanged horrified and humiliated looks, and, left with no choice, all stood up and fled the church.

  Regina broke down, sobbing, drained. Her husband leaped out of his seat and scurried over to help her down the steps, past the coffin, and out the side door where the refreshments were being set up for after the service.

  A discombobulated Reverend Staples stumbled back to the podium to try to get the service back under his control. “Is there anyone else here who would like to speak?”

  There wasn’t one taker.

  Everyone was still too much in a state of shock.

  And no one was about to follow that act.

  Hayley jumped up and excused herself as she made her way out of the pew and down the aisle, hoping to catch her mother and make sure she was okay.

  Chapter 20

  “What kind of woman uses a funeral as a forum to make such wild, baseless accusations?” Sheila cried in the kitchen of Hayley’s house later that evening.

  “It was entirely inappropriate,” Hayley said, trying to back her mother up.

  “I should sue her for defamation!” Sheila said, nodding her head as if she was agreeing with herself before turning to Bruce. “What do you think, Bruce? Do I have a case? Can I sue Regina Knoxville for libel?”

  Bruce wavered, not wanting to dash her hopes entirely but also not eager to give her false hope. “I’m not sure. You should probably consult with a lawyer.”

  Sheila wagged her finger at Bruce. “You’re right. That’s exactly what I’m going to do. Isn’t Liddy engaged to a lawyer? Can I go talk to him?”

  “They, um, are no longer together. It sort of ended rather badly. I’m surprised Celeste didn’t tell you.”

  “I’m sure she did at some point,” Sheila scoffed. “But you know Celeste, she spins everything into such major drama, I’ve learned to tune out most of what she says.”

  Hayley popped open a bottle of red wine, poured her mother a glass and held it out to her, which Sheila gratefully accepted. “Mom, I know you’re upset about what happened at Caskie’s memorial, and you have every right to be—”

  “Regina excoriated the three of us! It was humiliating and totally uncalled for!” Sheila griped.

  “You’re absolutely right, it was unacceptable and I’m sure she’s regretting it right now—”

  Bruce piped in. “Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that—”

  Hayley threw him a fierce look and Bruce immediately backtracked. “I mean, now that she’s had time to think about it, I’m sure she’s feeling bad about what she said.”

  “She shouldn’t have done it! Not in front of all those people! I know she and Caskie were close and she needed to lash out at somebody, but why us? Just because we weren’t good friends with Caskie doesn’t give her the right to publicly point the finger at us and insinuate that we are some kind of depraved killers!” Sheila cried.

  Hayley didn’t have the heart to remind her mother that the whole town was still talking about their confrontation with Caskie at Drinks Like a Fish, that there were undoubtedly at least a handful of people at the service who agreed with what Regina Knoxville had to say. But her mother was upset enough, and Hayley had no desire to make it any worse.

  “I can’t just stand by and do nothing . . .” Sheila said to no one in particular.

  “Like we discussed, you need to stay out of it and let the police do their job,” Hayley reminded her.

  Sheila gave her daughter a disbelieving look. “Hello. Pot, kettle . . .”

  “I know, I know, I need to follow my own advice, but I’m serious, Mom. The more you get involved, the more guilty you will look. I think it’s best if you just lie low and wait until Sergio concludes his investigation and we finally know the truth about what really happened.”

  Sheila listened to what her daughter was saying, and then, as if completely discarding it, turned to Bruce. “What do you think?”

  Bruce was caught off guard, surprised he was being drawn back into the conversation, and simply shrugged. “I think I’d rather be playing shuffleboard on the lido deck of a Caribbean cruise right about now.”

  Sheila deflated, a
look of remorse on her face, and she walked over and placed a hand on Bruce’s cheek. “Oh, Bruce, I’m so sorry I ruined your honeymoon.”

  Bruce suddenly felt bad for speaking so honestly. “No, it’s okay. Really. It’s important we be here while you’re going through this.”

  “I feel just terrible. You were so looking forward to your cruise and here I show up and get into all kinds of trouble, and now you’re stuck here at home dealing with me and my crisis!”

  Sheila looked as if she was about to cry, and Hayley did not want to see that happen, so she rushed to her mother’s side. “Mom, we can rebook the cruise. Please don’t feel bad about it.”

  Sheila clapped her hands, startling both Hayley and Bruce. “I insist on paying for any cancellation or change fee. How much do you think it is?”

  “I’m not sure, but I think I read there’s a two-hundred-dollar-per-person change fee,” Bruce mumbled.

  Sheila gasped. “That much? What do they want you to do, buy the boat?”

  “Mom, don’t worry about it!” Hayley pleaded, desperate to change the conversation.

  Sheila clapped her hands again, having made a snap decision. “If you can’t be on your honeymoon, then at least I can get out of your hair so you can have some time alone tonight.”

  “Honestly, Sheila, you don’t have to do that,” Bruce argued.

  Hayley threw him a stern look because she actually thought it was a good idea. Picking up on her signal, Bruce quickly backtracked again.

  “I mean, that’s awfully kind of you,” he said, smiling.

  “I read in the Island Times that there is a Meryl Streep movie playing at the Criterion tonight. She plays some historical figure, I can’t remember which one, but who cares really, it’s Meryl Streep. I’d pay to see her read the popcorn prices at the concession stand,” Sheila said, glancing around for her purse. “I’ll call Celeste and Jane and see if they will join me. We’ll have a girls’ night out.”

  Much to Hayley’s relief, Celeste and Jane agreed to meet Sheila at the Criterion for the film. A little escapism would actually be a welcome release from the trauma of the day’s events. Once Sheila was out the door and on her way in Hayley’s car, Hayley and Bruce were finally left to themselves.