Home on the Ranch--Tennessee Homecoming

by April Arrington

  Or at least, he hoped it would. It had to be. Because he was beginning to believe what Nate had said. That there was no way Katie would turn his offer of marriage down because she loved him as much as he loved her. He’d felt it in her tender touch right there in his bed, and when she looked up at him as he moved over her, he’d seen it reflected in her eyes. He was sure of it.

  “Do you ever go fishing in Los Angeles, Aunt Katie?”

  Landon’s hand froze around Katie’s as Matthew leaned closer to the back of her seat, waiting for her answer.

  Katie cleared her throat. “Not much. But there’s a place called Diamond Valley Lake about an hour and a half away from my apartment. I have a friend who goes there a lot for black bass. She’s caught bluegill and trout there, too.”

  Matthew smiled. “Cool.”

  “What about swimming?” Emma asked. “Do you ever go swimming?”

  Katie perked up. “Oh, all the time. The beach is only a few blocks from my place. It’s warm almost all the time and there’s nothing better for stress than playing in the waves.”

  Matthew leaned closer. “Are they big?”

  Katie laughed. “Huge, sometimes.” She twisted in her seat to face him. “And I have a surfboard. I’m not very good at surfing but I give it my best shot.”

  “Could we try it sometime?” Emma asked, bouncing in her seat.

  “Of course you can.” Katie waved her hands with excitement. “And there’s an art museum and aquarium I’d love to take you to. And—”

  Katie stopped talking, glanced under her lashes in Landon’s direction then turned back in her seat to face the road.

  It fell silent in the cab, save for the noise of the engine and the squeak of brakes as Landon parked the truck. He withdrew the keys from the ignition, pressed them against the ring bulging in his pocket then looked at Katie. Her cheeks were red and her lips trembled.

  The kids sat motionless in the back seat, staring down at their hands, their smiles disappearing.

  “Matthew?” Landon waited until he met his eyes in the rearview mirror. “Feel like walking with me to round up some firewood for roasting marshmallows tonight?”

  Matthew looked up, a small smile appearing. “Yes, sir.”

  Thank God. Landon needed to stretch his legs, breathe fresh air and talk himself into believing things were going to work out fine. That this new life with Katie and the kids was truly a possibility and that despite the attractive alternatives, Katie would say yes to marrying him and choose to stay. Not just for the kids, but because she loved him.

  Tonight, by the campfire, he’d propose. Katie would say yes, and they’d finally be a true family.

  Landon smiled back at Matthew. “All right, let’s hit it. We’re burning daylight.”

  Twenty minutes later, Landon and Matthew finished setting up two tents then walked down a winding dirt path to hunt for firewood. Katie stayed behind with Emma to unroll the sleeping bags and explore the campsite.

  “Look for large branches that may have fallen,” Landon said, leading the way through the woods.

  Matthew stopped beside a dead-looking branch that was propped against a canopy of leaves. He grabbed a small, protruding limb, snapped a portion off and handed it to Landon. “What about this? Is it dry enough?”

  Landon nodded. “Perfect. Now, let’s find about twenty more like that.”

  For the next few minutes, the only sounds in the surrounding woods were birds, the swish of thick leaves and snaps of twigs underfoot. Landon lifted an armload of wood he’d found and noticed Matthew’s arms were loaded down, too.

  “Good job, buddy. Follow me.” Landon swept a low-hanging branch out of the way, ducked and led Matthew into a small clearing. “Dump what you’ve got here and let’s take a break before heading back.” He pointed toward the edge of an overlook several feet away. “There’s a great view over there.”

  They walked over, staying a safe distance from the edge, and took in the view below. Tall trees and green growth dotted the towering tops of mountain ranges in the distance and a swift breeze blew with a slight whistle across the drop below. There wasn’t a cloud in sight and the blue sky seemed to stretch endlessly to the rocky horizon.

  “Gorgeous.” Landon inhaled, holding the fresh air in his lungs. “Your aunt Amber and I used to come up here when we were kids. It felt like it took forever to make it up the trail and get to this spot but it was always our favorite.” He lifted his face and closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun seeping past his closed eyelids. “There’s a creek a bit farther down with these odd-shaped rocks that me and Amber used to build forts. It’s beautiful and I think Emma and Katie would like it.” Patting the ring in his pocket absently, he turned to the side and smiled down at Matthew. “We could—”

  Matthew’s shoulders jerked and a choked sob burst from his lips.

  “Hey.” Landon swept his hand through Matthew’s hair then cupped his cheek, lifting his chin for a better view of his face. A big tear pooled in the corner of Matthew’s trembling mouth. “What’s this about?”

  “I...I can’t—” Matthew looked away, his breath snagging.

  Landon waited for a moment, concerned confusion streaking through him, and when Matthew didn’t speak, he said, “You can tell me anything, you know that. What’s going on?”

  Matthew studied the ground, whispering something unintelligible.

  Landon leaned closer. “What?”

  Matthew lifted his head, his brown eyes pained. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You don’t want to...?” Landon shook his head, a confused smile lifting his mouth. “How could you hurt me?”

  “I don’t want to live with you anymore.”

  The words hit Landon’s chest like rocks, each one cracking his heart a bit more. “Wh-what? What are you talking ab—”

  “I mean, I do want to live with you,” Matthew said through sobs. “But I want to live with Aunt Katie more.” He sucked in a deep breath, the tears coming fast now. “Me and Emma both do. I heard Aunt Katie tell Gammie on the phone that she’s going back to California tomorrow and we wanna go with her.”

  Legs weak, Landon sank to his knees in front of Matthew and squeezed his shoulders. “You...” His voice sounded choked. He cleared his throat. “Have you talked to Katie about this?”

  Matthew shook his head, his hair falling over his eyes. “No. I w-wanted to tell you first.”

  Landon couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move. Could barely breathe.

  All he could do was listen to Matthew’s words repeating in his mind and stabbing him on the inside. I don’t want to live with you.

  Oh, God. Landon turned his head and closed his eyes. That wasn’t what he had said. Not really. He had said he wanted to live with Katie, and of course he would. He’d want to fish in Diamond Valley Lake, swim in the ocean waves and visit all of the exciting attractions near Katie’s apartment in Los Angeles. He wanted to live in a vibrant, bustling city a thousand times bigger and more exciting than a small ranch in Elk Valley.

  And every step he’d helped Katie take toward being a good parent had coaxed the kids further and further away from him. How could he not have seen it? And if he had, would he have still helped her?

  “Uncle Landon?”

  He opened his eyes and Matthew’s pained expression made his stomach churn. Matthew had been afraid to tell him, and now, after he had, he felt guilty for having hurt him.

  “I’m sorry, Uncle Landon. I’m so sor—”

  “No.” Landon tugged him forward and hugged him hard, wanting to scream, to cry, to rage at the unfairness of it all. But what he wanted more was for Matthew, Emma, Sophia and Katie to be happy. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He kissed Matthew’s cheek, ruffled his hair and strived for an upbeat tone. “It’s okay. I understand.”

  Fresh tears brimmed in Ma
tthew’s eyes. “But...”

  “I love you,” Landon said firmly, cupping his face and meeting his eyes. “Always. I want you to be happy.” He forced a smile. “So no more crying, okay? This is a good thing, and I know your aunt Katie will be thrilled.”

  Matthew blinked up at him, searching his eyes, then wiped his face on his sleeve. “Okay.”

  Landon pushed slowly to his feet, his body heavy and hurting. “Why don’t you take a load of the firewood back to camp and help Katie build a fire?”

  Matthew nodded, gathered up an armful of firewood then paused at the edge of the clearing. “Aren’t you coming?”

  Landon turned away, hiding the wet heat streaming down his cheeks. “Yeah. I’ll be right behind you.”

  Twigs snapped and leaves rustled as Matthew left then Landon stood alone, staring at the view beyond, his chest tight with silent sobs. There was no way he could tell Katie he loved her, ask her to marry him and live in Elk Valley now. Not when he knew Matthew and Emma wanted to go to California with Katie, and not when there was a chance of Katie thinking he only wanted to marry her as a way of holding on to the kids. And it would be selfish to ask her to give up her job and life in Los Angeles solely for him.

  Katie was related to Matthew, Emma and Sophia by blood; Landon was just a family friend. He had no right to interfere.

  Landon shoved the ring deeper into his pocket and clenched his fists as he studied the peaceful sky above him. It was a hell of a thing. The birds sang and the sun shone bright despite the fact that every hope he’d had for a life with Katie and the kids in Elk Valley had just died. It was the first time, Landon realized, that helping someone else find happiness had cost him his own.

  * * *

  “Can I have one more?”

  Katie glanced across the campfire at Emma as she scooted closer to Landon’s side and held out her stick. The bright blaze of the fire pierced their dark surroundings and lit up her excited expression.

  “I suppose that’s okay.” Landon reached into the bag at his side and grabbed a marshmallow.

  Katie watched the play of firelight across the muscles in his strong forearm as he affixed the treat to the stick then helped Emma hold it over the heat. His blue eyes remained focused on the flames, unblinking at the crackle of wood and occasional spit of sparks. His demeanor, silent and downcast, had remained unchanged since he’d returned from collecting firewood with Matthew several hours ago.

  “Matthew?” Katie waited until he lifted his head and faced her from his seated position on a log. “Would you like another marshmallow?”

  Matthew shook his head then stood. “I’m kinda tired. Think I’ll go to bed now.” He walked over to Landon, hesitating slightly before leaning down to hug him. “Good night, Uncle Landon.”

  Landon, a smile crossing his face, returned the hug, but the smile vanished as he watched Matthew walk away then enter one of the tents.

  “Blow it out, blow it out,” Emma squealed, tugging at her flaming marshmallow.

  Landon quickly put the flame out, pinched it to test the heat level then passed it to Emma. “Be careful. Don’t burn your mouth.”

  Emma did a little dance as she ate it then licked her fingers and rubbed her belly. “That was good. Can I have another one?”

  “’Fraid not, baby.” Landon’s voice was strangely heavy. “It’s time for bed.”

  Emma made a sound of disappointment but hugged Landon and skipped around the fire to Katie. “Night, Aunt Katie.”

  “Good night, angel.” Katie kissed her cheek then smiled as she crawled inside a tent. “This trip was a great idea,” she said, looking at Landon. “I’m glad we came.”

  Landon seemed to try to smile but it fell flat, and he patted the empty space on the log beside him. “We need to talk, Katie.”

  And there it was. The moment Katie had been dreading. She could see the dismay on his face, heard it in his voice. He already knew what she hadn’t had the guts to tell him.

  Sighing, Katie stood, brushed off the back of her jeans then rounded the fire and sat beside him. The log was warm beneath her and she curled her palm around it by her side, her pinky touching Landon’s as he did the same.

  “Are you still planning to leave tomorrow?” His deep voice sounded raspy in the dim glow of the fire.

  Katie nodded. “There’s a flight around four that I’d like to catch. That’d give me at least a little extra time before my presentation Friday afternoon.”

  Oh, boy. No more putting it off. But how should she say it? Which words should she use? What phrase would hurt him less?

  She pulled in a shaky breath. “Landon, I’m planning to—”

  “Matthew wants to go with you.”

  She stilled. “What?”

  “Emma, too.” Only Landon’s mouth moved as he stared at the fire. “He told me himself this afternoon.”

  His voice sounded strange and heavy and his jaw tightened. He was hurting. So much more than she’d imagined.

  Her stomach dropped. “Oh, Landon.”

  Katie swiveled toward him, cradled his face and rubbed her thumbs over his cheeks. The stubble lining his jaw was rough against her fingertips and the slight tremor in his chin almost undid her.

  “I didn’t want us to be put in this position with the kids,” she whispered. “I never suggested it or asked for it. I don’t know why Jennifer asked it of me, and I never in a million years would want to do anything that would hurt you.”

  “I know.” His hands circled her wrists and he kissed her face, touching his mouth to her fluttering lashes, drifting his lips across her cheeks. “I know,” he repeated, his husky whisper near her ear. “But you were going to do what Jennifer asked, weren’t you? You were already planning to take Matthew, Emma and Sophia?”

  Katie froze, pain flooding her. “Yes. I planned to take all three of them with me to California.”

  “And you love them?”

  She stifled a sob. “Of course, I do. More than anything.”

  “Then that’s all that matters.” He pulled away and made to stand.

  “Landon.” She grabbed his arm and helplessly studied the angry pain in his eyes, unsure of what to say.

  “We’ll head back to the ranch first thing in the morning and pack their things.” He stood anyway. “Some of it I’ll have to send to you later. And I assume you want them to visit with Harold and Patricia before they leave?”

  “Landon, please.” Katie jumped to her feet and placed her hands on his chest, blinking back tears. “Don’t be angry with me. Please don’t hate me over this.”

  His expression gentled. “Never.”

  He wrapped his arms around her, pulled her close and covered her mouth with his. His kiss was warm and gentle, and when the salty taste of tears hit their tongues, he released her.

  “You’ll visit us, won’t you?” Katie asked, her arms feeling empty without him to hold on to. “Even if it’s just for a day or two? The kids will miss you terribly and you might like LA.”

  Landon stayed silent for a moment then said, “Maybe one day.” He turned away, saying over his shoulder, “We’ll pack up and head back to the ranch around seven.”

  Katie watched him walk away and enter the same tent as Matthew. It grew silent and still, save for the pop and crackle of the fire. She stayed there for another two hours, watching the fire, replaying the events of the past week and missing Jennifer more than ever. This fantastic new start with the kids should feel wonderful but taking them away from Landon made her feel awful.

  * * *

  The next day was no better.

  “Can I take Jinx?”

  Katie closed the packed box in front of her, taped it shut then shook her head at Matthew, who sat on his bed as they packed the last of his belongings. “I’m sorry, but we can’t. Not on a plane.”

  Besides, she was alr
eady trying to figure out how to juggle Sophia’s stroller and all of their bags to and from the airport.

  “Don’t worry about Jinx,” Landon said, picking up the box. “I’ll take good care of him.”

  “But when will we see him again?” Emma asked from the doorway, clutching a blue teddy bear. “Are we coming back in a few days?”

  Katie moved to answer then stopped, biting her lip as Landon ducked his head and left the room. “We’ll visit, baby,” she said softly. “As soon as we can.”

  Emma turned, looking down the hall in the direction Landon had gone. “But when?”

  “In a couple weeks, maybe. After we get settled.” Katie closed her eyes for a moment, holding back more tears she refused to shed in front of the kids. “Then in a few months, it’ll be Thanksgiving. That might be a good time to come back again.”

  “I expect it to be a good time.” Patricia walked into the room, holding Sophia, then leveled a look at Katie. “Because I’ll miss all of you very much and I plan on cooking enough to feed an army.” Her mouth trembled then she lifted her chin and smiled. “I hope it’ll be okay if I visit from time to time.”

  Katie blinked hard. “You...you want to come visit me in California?”

  Patricia nodded then gave a self-conscious laugh. “Guess I finally figured out that planes are capable of traveling in both directions. I’d love to see your apartment and the kids. I’d love to see you, Katie.”

  “In that case,” Katie said, “I’d be really happy if you could come see us next weekend? Bring some of the kids’ things they had to leave behind and help us settle in?”

  Patricia smiled, her eyes wet. “That would be wonderful.”

  An hour later, Katie stuffed the bags in the trunk of the rental car, hugged and kissed her parents then watched as they drove away. She checked that Sophia was strapped safely in her car seat then shut the door.

  “Well—” Katie clapped her hands together and faced Landon “—I guess it’s time we head out.”

  “Uncle Landon?” Emma ran over and tugged at Landon’s shirt. “Will you call us tonight?”