Her Baby His Gift (The Slow Burn Duology Book 1)

by LaShawn Vasser

  Chapter 20

  It was good being home for a few days. It had given Harlem some much-needed time to catch her breath and put things into perspective.

  She looked around the dining room table to make sure everything was perfect. Damian had invited Carter over for dinner. I can’t believe we’re actually going to do this.

  She walked into their chef’s kitchen to check on the pasta. This is crazy. Sheer madness. Harlem said to herself, “What are your options?” Do you really want to live a life without Damian? She’d asked herself that question a million times. “Could I? Yes. Do I want to? No.”

  Damian walked into the kitchen as if this night wasn’t going to change their lives. “It smells good in here.” He went to wrap his arms around her waist as she stood in front of the stove, stirring the pasta sauce. Harlem side-stepped his embrace. She wasn’t in a huggy kind of mood. Harlem was angry yet trying not to be since nobody forced her to agree with his idea.

  Damian let his arms drop. “We don’t have to do this.”

  Harlem slammed the top of the pot down. “Don’t play games, Damian! If I want a child, this is exactly what I have to do unless I leave you and have a baby with someone else.”

  Damian caged Harlem into his embrace, not allowing her to move. He spoke tenderly. “I certainly don’t want that. This was a hard decision for both of us, but especially you. Thank you.”

  No sooner had he uttered the words did the doorbell ring. “What do you want me to do? Should I send Carter home?”

  YES! Send him home. Everything inside of her felt like she was making a terrible mistake. Instead of listening to that little voice, Harlem ignored it. She sighed and whispered. “No.”

  “Okay.” Damian kissed her gently on the lips. “I’ll get the door.” He walked out of the kitchen, leaving Harlem alone. She needed a minute to collect herself as she switched between anger and nerves. She took a few deep breaths, turned off the burners on the stove, and took another deep breath before walking out of the kitchen.

  Carter was nervous. “Harlem.” He never looked anything less than confident. She couldn’t imagine how Damian’s conversation about being their donor went. However, Damian was good at convincing people to do things they never would otherwise.

  Harlem walked slowly toward them. She forced a smile. “Carter.”

  Carter had run this scenario in his head over and over again. He couldn’t figure out how to get to yes. Tonight he was supposed to give them his decision. How Damian’s crazy-ass idea even grew legs was beyond him. More importantly, he must have had magical powers to convince Harlem to go along with this madness. The mere thought of her being pregnant with his kid was enough to send him into a full-blown panic attack.

  Damian looked between the two most important people in his life. It was rather obvious neither was sold on his plan. He had to do something to fix it before it completely unraveled. “Thanks for coming.”

  “Yeah . . . I um . . . brought wine.” Carter handed it to Damian. He could not make eye contact with either of them.

  “Thanks. It’ll go great with the pasta Harlem made.” Damian hoped to break the ice. “You know Harlem’s pretty good in the kitchen.”

  “Yep.” That was all Carter could muster.

  Harlem’s pained-looking smile expanded as she took the bottle from Damian. “Why wait? Let’s have wine now.” She ran-walked back into the kitchen to open it. Harlem pulled three long-stemmed wine glasses out of the cabinet. She found a corkscrew in a drawer and opened the bottle. Instead of pouring the wine into the glasses, she turned it up and took a long drink. She let the full-bodied taste of the Merlot soothe her nerves. She took a deep breath, grabbed the glasses by the stem and the wine bottle before heading back out into the living room.

  *****

  The three of them sat around the dinner table. If it weren’t for Damian, they would have mostly eaten in silence. Carter was prone to grunt out his responses, and Harlem could only seem to utter one-word answers.

  Slowly, Carter put down his fork. He was lost in his own thoughts and had no idea what Damian had been talking about. “How in the hell is this going to work? I know I’m not the only one sitting here thinking that this shit is crazy? I’m still waiting for someone to jump out to tell me this is a practical joke.”

  Harlem stabbed her pasta with her fork and dragged it around her plate, making a scraping sound. She agreed. “Nope. It’s real and downright, batshit crazy.”

  “Exactly!” Carter pointed to her. “See. You’re not even on board with this madness.”

  “I didn’t say that,” Harlem said quietly as she looked up. “However, I do agree that it’s not ideal.”

  Damian looked between them. “I understand that this isn’t the most conventional way to conceive, but I really do think it can work out for all of us.”

  “I’ve been cautious in my last thirty-two years not to have any slip-ups. Now, you’re asking me to willingly give you my sperm to have a baby. A baby that I will have to see regularly.”

  “Carter, this will be Damian’s and my baby.” Harlem frowned with worry. “Over the years, you’ve made it perfectly clear that you do not want to be a father. Has that changed?”

  “No.”

  Damian chimed in. “This situation will be an adjustment. It might even be weird at first, but I trust that we can do it.” Damian pleaded with Carter. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but will you gift us with an opportunity to have a baby?”

  Both Damian and Harlem were looking at Carter intently, waiting for an answer. He felt like he was suffocating. He pulled at the collar of his button-up shirt.

  Carter was sweating.

  The moments dragged on as they waited for an answer.

  He couldn’t do it. “Damian, I just don’t know.”

  “I would do this for you without any hesitation.”

  Carter did have one of Damian’s kidney’s in his body. Damian had already made a huge sacrifice for him.

  Damian continued. “You have my blood running through your veins, and I love you like a brother. If you do this for us, it would be as if it were my baby.”

  Carter was quiet for a while. Finally, he inhaled and held it for a few seconds before blowing it out, making a big whooshing sound. “It’s kind of impossible to say no.”

  “Not impossible,” Damian said.

  Carter looked heavenward. “Get the legal paperwork together, and once that’s all set, let me know where to make the deposit.”

  Chapter 21

  Harlem sat at her desk, feeling not only queasy but uneasy. Did I make a mistake? Her emotions were all over the place, and it wasn’t just because of the IVF treatments. Seeds of doubt started to grow shortly after the decision was made. Once the embryo transfer occurred, those seeds had matured into full-grown Venus Fly Traps.

  Having a baby was supposed to be a joyous occasion. The entire process was much too stressful. Her experience was worse than what she’d expected. Harlem couldn’t remember a time where she and Damian had been so far apart emotionally. Physically they were just as disconnected.

  They hadn’t made love since they began treatments almost two months ago. Understandable, but she missed the soft touches and firm embraces.

  Harlem stared at her cell phone as if looking at it would make Damian return her calls. She had already left three messages, and it wasn’t even lunchtime. Harlem didn’t want to become that girl who was the clingy type, but she was afraid she was becoming just that.

  Focus on work, she told herself. Harlem read the same line on her computer for the third time.

  She was genuinely worried if their relationship was going to survive. Lately, Damian would disappear for hours at a time without any explanation and come home drained.

  Against her better judgment, Harlem picked up the phone and called him. It rang several times and again went to voice-mail. Was he in an all-day meeting? Harlem called the landline to his office. His Admin picked up on the first ring. “Damian Fox�
��s office.”

  “Hi, Natalie. This is Harlem. Is Damian around?”

  She paused. “Damian has been off-site this week.”

  “Oh.” Harlem was not only disappointed but surprised. She hadn’t known he wasn’t in the office.

  Natalie continued. “You know that he and Dana have been burning the midnight oil getting ready for the Landing deal.”

  Harlem knew about the Landing deal, but she hadn’t known that Dana worked so closely with him on it. Why didn’t he tell her? Harlem did her best to beat back her jealously. “That’s right. I forgot.”

  “Is everything okay? Should I reach out to him?”

  “N-no.” Harlem stuttered. “It’s not important. I just wanted to hear his voice.” She heard a beep on her cell. “Natalie, another call is coming through. I’ll talk to Damian at home tonight.”

  “Okay. Sounds good.”

  Harlem disconnected and clicked over. “This is Harlem.”

  “Hey. You called?” It was Damian.

  Several times! She wanted to scream but didn’t. “Yes. I just wanted to talk to you. You got in late last night and was gone when I woke up this morning.”

  He sounded tired. “I wanted to get into the office early. I had several meetings on schedule.”

  Harlem sat up. Natalie had just said he had been off-site all week. He was lying. Harlem really started to feel sick. “Yeah? How did they go?”

  “About as expected. Wait. Can you hold on a second?” Damian asked. However, before he muted the phone, Harlem heard the voice of a woman in the background. It sounded almost like Dana.

  Was it her? Nervously, Harlem nibbled on her lower lip as she waited for Damian to come back on the line.

  “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

  “You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.” Her mind was whirling with crazy thoughts. There had to be a reasonable explanation. Damian wouldn’t cheat on her. She had to do something. “I miss you.”

  He paused before responding. “I miss you too.”

  “How about I order us a nice dinner, and we have a cozy night in?”

  Damian hesitated. “I’d um . . . love to, but I’ll be getting in pretty late.”

  “Again?” She was frustrated. “Whatever happened to you always making me the priority?!”

  “Harlem, are you serious right now?”

  Are you lying to me right now? “Damian, ever since I started treatments, you’ve been distant. If you have changed your mind, you should have told me before we did the embryo transfer!”

  He was silent.

  Oh, God. Harlem thought. Her voice trembled. “This is where you’re supposed to reassure your over-the-top and pregnant girlfriend.”

  “I haven’t changed my mind. I just . . . I have a lot going on here at the office.” He sighed. “Can we talk a little later? I’ve really got to go into a meeting.”

  “At your office?” Harlem waited.

  Damian responded after another long pause. “Where else?”

  “I know you’re not at your fuckin’ office!” Harlem screamed into her phone before disconnecting and slamming it down on her desk.

  *****

  Damian had run out of time. Harlem didn’t deserve this. He had to tell her everything.

  “Mr. Fox, is everything okay?” His nurse from the Cancer Treatment Center of America asked. “Should I call the doctor?”

  “No. I’m fine.” Damian leaned back in his bed after receiving his final treatment. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Damian was weak but was still able to make another call. The phone rang a couple of times before he answered.

  “Carter.”

  “Hey, man,” Damian said.

  “What’s up?”

  “It’s been a minute since we’ve hooked up.”

  Carter had been avoiding Damian like the plague. He felt guilty considering. Still, this whole situation had definitely taken a toll on their friendship. “Yeah. It’s been a minute.”

  “We should get together soon.”

  “We should.”

  “I’ve got some important news. How about tonight?”

  Carter had been dreading this moment. What news could Damian have other than telling him that Harlem was pregnant? He scratched his forehead. “I don’t know if I can do tonight.”

  Damian understood his hesitancy, but he didn’t think he would have the strength to have this conversation more than once. “It’s important. I really need you to come by the house tonight.”

  Carter wanted to slam his head against a wall. He sighed. “Sure. What time?”

  *****

  Harlem was in the family room curled up on the sofa, watching the news. She was determined to have it out with Damian no matter what time he got home. However, she wasn’t expecting it when he walked through the door around six.

  He poked his head through the door. “Hey.”

  Harlem glanced up at him. He looked tired. His eyes had dark circles around them. He was stressed, but so was she. Harlem would not feel sorry for him. She turned back to the television. “Why did you lie to me? I guess a better question is, why have you been lying to me?”

  Slowly, Damian walked into the family room and sat down next to Harlem. He rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

  Harlem’s chest ached, and her eyes closed. Her mind was spinning. “I came home from work today fully prepared to leave you. Then I asked myself, why should I? I love this place. I haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve done everything to make our relationship work. So, you can pack your shit. I picked out this furniture.” She pointed to the window. “Those drapes and everything in this place was all me. I shouldn’t have to leave it because you’ve been unfaithful.”

  “What? Wait. That’s not . . .”

  Harlem had to stand. She got up off of the couch. “How could you do this? And with Dana of all people?”

  “What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not cheating on you!”

  Harlem whipped around. “You told me that you were in meetings at your office all day today. Natalie told me you’ve been off-site all week! I heard Dana in the background when we were talking this afternoon.”

  Damian lowered his head. “That wasn’t Dana.”

  Harlem placed her hands on her hip. “No? Okay. If not Dana, who? Not that it would it make it any better.”

  “I plan to explain it all when Carter gets here.”

  “Carter?” Harlem was confused. “What’s he got to do with this? Is he going to lie for you now that you’ve had time to get your stories together?”

  Damian wasn’t going to answer that. It was silly. The buzzer to their condo went off. “That’s him now. Let me get the door, and I promise to explain everything.”

  Harlem’s life was falling apart. She did not want to see, hear, or talk to Carter Owens. If Damian wasn’t with Dana, it was probably somebody that he met while with Carter. Both of them could go straight to hell!

  Speaking of the Devil. Harlem’s eyes were shooting daggers at Carter when he walked into her family room.

  He was not in the mood for any of Harlem’s shit. Briefly, his eyes glanced down at her stomach before quickly finding something else to focus on. His voice was gruff. “What was so important that I had to change my plans so that you could talk to me tonight?” Carter was clearly not in a good mood either.

  Harlem folded her arms across her chest. “Considering everything that’s going on, I’d like to know that myself.”

  Damian rubbed his hands together. “You both deserve the truth, and I can only hope that you’ll forgive me after I give it to you.”

  Chapter 22

  A feeling of dread spread throughout Harlem’s body. Slowly, she took a seat in one of the chairs that sat opposite the sofa and Carter.

  Damian started to speak. “Several months ago, I found out that I couldn’t father a child.” His voice shook. “What I didn’t tell you was that shortly after we started IVF treatments
, I found out that I had pancreatic cancer. In my arrogance, I figured I could beat this thing.”

  Harlem’s voice came out in a barely-there whisper. “What?”

  Carter didn’t like the direction this conversation was going.

  “I should have told you both, and that was a mistake. This situation has forced me to take a good long look at my life and those closest to me.”

  Damian turned watery eyes to Harlem. “Baby, I should have married you years ago. It will be one of the greatest regrets of my life.”

  Harlem’s heart was beating so fast and hard she was sure they could see it. “Why are you talking like this?”

  He didn’t answer that question yet. Instead, Damian continued with his speech. “I know that you and Carter barely tolerate each other. My hope is that the two people I love most would be there for each other after I’m gone.”

  “I-I don’t understand.” Harlem’s brain couldn’t process his words.

  Carter swallowed hard. “What are you saying?”

  The anguish on Damian’s face said it all, but he had to say the words out loud. Maybe then, he would start to believe them. “I’m dying.”

  Tears began to roll down Harlem’s face. “No.” She shook her head. “You can’t be. You’re too young.”

  Damian didn’t have the strength to be strong for them. “I wish that were the case, but it’s not.”

  Carter felt like he was sleepwalking. He refused to believe it. “You can beat this. I’ll start making some calls.”

  Damian knew that would be his response. “This is a problem we can’t throw money at. I’ve had the best doctors, and I’ve been in treatment over the past few months. So far, it’s not working.” He turned to Harlem. “The woman you heard over the phone this afternoon was my nurse. I’ve been going through an experimental treatment.” Damian smiled weakly. “It’s a last resort kind of thing. If it works, fantastic. If not, the doctors have given me a few weeks to get my affairs in order.”