Food for Love

by C. Fonseca

  “How so?”

  Despite looking uncomfortable, Jess held Lili’s gaze. “It saved my life. It made me feel a part of something. After my father took me to England I was…lost. In a dark place. I did some stupid things.” She rubbed her knuckles over the tops of her thighs.

  Lili’s heart lurched at the thought of Jess alone in a foreign country without her mother and brother. According to Ben, soon after their mother had died, Jess had been taken to England by their father. The anguish Jess had experienced at that time was evident even now.

  “I’m glad you found refuge in cycling. Your father did the right thing, enrolling you in that school.”

  Jess tilted her head to one side, as if contemplating Lili’s words. “It didn’t seem like it at the time. But I guess you’re right.”

  “He must have been proud of you? Following in his footsteps?”

  “My father didn’t spend a lot of time with me. He was pleased when I began cycling, but couldn’t hide his bias against women’s involvement in professional sport. Old school, I guess. Even though his own cycling career was nearly over, I didn’t get a lot of encouragement from him.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry, Jess.” Was Ben Senior jealous of his daughter’s success and her physical attributes? If his son had been a sportsman, rather than a chef—he’d once called young Ben a sissy—things might have been different.

  “Don’t be. As you said, he gave me a good start, and I inherited some of my competitiveness and drive from him.”

  “You’ve achieved a lot already,” Lili said with an encouraging smile.

  “Thank you. I’m ready for more coffee, and maybe another bite of your croissant.” She looked up at Lili with a twinkle in her eyes. “How about you? Another coffee?”

  “Yeah, that would be great.” Lili watched Jess walk into the bakery and couldn’t avoid focusing on her shapely behind. She smiled to herself, scratched her forehead, and contemplated her newly acquired appreciation for lycra.

  Appreciating her physical beauty was one thing, but Jess was being so sweet and hadn’t even mentioned Lili’s outburst in the garage about the bicycle and wiping the loan. I really have to apologise, for real, and now would be a good time.

  “Coffee won’t be long,” Jess said as she settled back on the bench across from her.

  “Thanks,” Lili murmured. She bit into the soft skin of her thumb, then quickly drew her hand away from her mouth and gripped the edge of the table. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry?” Jess gazed at her.

  “Yes, again, I am very sorry for my behaviour in the garage.”

  Jess frowned. “You mean about Aruishi’s bicycle?”

  “Yes, but not just that. I am apologising for my reaction to the letter explaining you’ve wiped the loan. I was in shock. It was so unexpected. I’d been sick with worry about coming up with the money, but it was my problem to deal with… Then it was taken out of my control.” She looked away briefly. “I reacted so badly. I’m sorry.”

  Jess blinked and slowly nodded her head. “I understand that now. Thank you for explaining. I shouldn’t have just handed you the letter. You were already upset about the bicycle surprise. I should have explained what I had done and why.”

  “Okay,” Lili said. “Can we start again?”

  “Um, what do you mean?” She smiled but looked confused.

  “This afternoon, when I bring Ru home from kindergarten, can we give her that beautiful new bike?”

  “Really? Are you sure?”

  “Café latte?”

  They both looked up, startled at the server who’d approached unnoticed. He held out a coffee glass.

  Jess turned towards Lili with a smile. “That will be hers.”

  “Thank you.” Lili looked quickly back to Jess. She reached across the table and grasped her hand. “Yes, I am very sure. Ru will be over the moon.”

  Aruishi stared at Jess with her hands on her hips. “What is it?” she asked, looking from Jess to Lili and back again.

  “Your mother and I have a surprise for you,” Jess said, and winked at Lili.

  Jess followed them along the narrow, meandering creek that skirted a gently sloped, wildflower-filled pasture. Crisp sea air filled her lungs, and afternoon sunshine warmed her skin. Aruishi walked slightly ahead, holding her mother’s hand, and glanced back at Jess every few seconds. Jess quickened her pace, caught up with them, and fell into step beside Lili.

  “It’s going to be impossible to keep her off that bike,” Lili whispered as Aruishi let go of her hand and skipped ahead. They reached Scott’s garage door, and Lili inserted the key and flipped a switch on the outside wall. The roller door opened, and Aruishi ducked inside.

  “I hope she likes it,” Jess whispered back.

  Aruishi stood inside, her arms crossed, looking in every direction. “I don’t see anything new, Auntie Jess.” She twirled around. “What’s my surprise? Tell me,” she insisted.

  Lili leaned against the parked Jeep, smiled at Jess, and shrugged. “If you stand still, Ru, you will see for yourself.”

  When Jess rolled the bicycle out of the lock-up and into view, Aruishi squealed and clapped her hands. “Ooh! Jess,” she said. “It’s a bike…a beautiful bike. Can I get on, can I get on now?”

  “I’ll help you,” Jess said. “Oh, wait one second, I almost forgot.” She held up one finger and walked back to the lock-up. She removed a small cardboard box and placed it on the floor. “This is for you too, Aruishi.”

  “Another present?” Aruishi gripped Jess’s arm but turned to look at her mother. “Another present, Mama. Am I the luckiest?”

  Lili’s eyes twinkled. Her joyful laugh filled the space. She went to Aruishi, crouched beside her, and helped her open the box. “You are definitely the luckiest, munchkin.” She lifted the purple helmet out of the box and carefully placed it on Aruishi’s head. “Um, I’m not sure how this works.”

  Jess stepped up and adjusted the magnetic buckle so it was a snug fit. “Is that comfy?”

  Aruishi nodded. “Thank you, Jess, you’re the best auntie ever.” She grinned and climbed onto the bike while Lili gave her a steadying hand.

  Jess looked up and met Lili’s approving gaze. Lili silently mouthed, Thank you.

  “It has lots of wheels,” Aruishi said in a serious tone, pointing to the training wheels. “I can go for a ride outside now?”

  “After you practise a bit in here and get used to it,” Lili said. “Perhaps when Jess has time, she’ll teach you the rules and take you for a ride around the farm.”

  “Okay, I will get used to the bike.” Aruishi took off and circled the interior of the large garage.

  “I’d be happy to give Aruishi lessons.” Jess turned in a circle to follow her around. “Maybe tomorrow? Umm, I have an appointment this afternoon to view an Airbnb in Portarlington.”

  “Why?”

  “I’ve decided to stay a bit longer in Australia. I can’t continue to take advantage of your hospitality.”

  Lili’s forehead creased. “What are you talking about? Do you feel uncomfortable here with us?”

  “No, Lili. I just don’t want to overstay my welcome.” She rubbed the back of her neck. This was turning out to be awkward. “I’d like to spend more time with Usha Joshi. I haven’t seen her in years, and we have a lot of catching up to do. And Aruishi…” She looked down at the ground.

  “Jess, you can stay here. Unless you want to go?” Lili looked uncomfortable. “Ru and I would like you to stay. After all, you did promise to give her lessons—she’d be learning from the expert, wouldn’t she?”

  “But I don’t know how long I’ll be here before I return to the UK.”

  “That’s okay.” She looked at her quizzically. “I did wonder, though. Don’t you have a job, or something or someone to go back to?”

  That was
a very good question, and not one she could answer with conviction. Especially at this moment. Especially to Lili. “Nothing that can’t wait,” Jess said.

  Lili looked like she wanted to ask more questions, but thankfully, she didn’t. “We’re agreed, then,” she said. “Please go and cancel that appointment.”

  Jess let out a relieved breath. She did want to stay at the farm, but she’d have to answer Lili’s questions about her life back in the UK eventually. She was bound to ask again.

  “I’m hungry.” Aruishi climbed off her bike and clutched the strap under her chin.

  Lili leaned forward and unclipped the magnet. “Okay. First, let’s thank Jess for your presents. Then we’ll put them away safely.”

  “Thank you for my bike and my helmet, Auntie Jess.” Aruishi threw her arms around Jess’s legs. “I can’t believe it. My friend Max will be so jealous. We’ve both wanted bikes, and now I have one.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Can Auntie Jess come with us for fish and chips?” Aruishi let go of Jess and tugged her mother’s arm.

  “Why don’t you ask her?”

  “Come with us, Jess,” Aruishi said. It wasn’t a question, more like a plea, her eyes wide and expectant.

  “Yeah, come with us.” The corners of Lili’s mouth quirked with an amused smile. “The fresh fish and crispy chips are really good. We always eat at the foreshore reserve so we can people watch, and afterwards we take a walk along the pier.”

  Lili’s phone buzzed. She grabbed it from her pocket and checked the screen. “We’d better hurry and put your bike away, Aruishi. Tash and Alex are already in Queenscliff.”

  Memories were sometimes painful and you wanted to push them away. But Queenscliff. Fish and chips with her mother and Ben. These were happy memories she wouldn’t mind revisiting with Lili and Aruishi.

  Jess walked beside her niece, helped roll the bicycle in next to hers, and hung the helmet on the wall hook. She fastened the door and turned to Lili. “I will tag along, if you don’t mind? It is a lovely evening for a stroll, but first I’ll make that phone call. Again, if you are sure?”

  Lili raised an eyebrow and flashed Jess a beaming smile. “Yes.” She hitched one shoulder at Aruishi. “What do you say, Ru? Should we let Jess tag along?”

  “Yes. She must come. Please.” Aruishi skipped towards the garage door. “Come on, Jess,” she called loudly.

  “How could I refuse?” Jess asked. “Your daughter is very persuasive.”

  “I wonder which side of the family she gets that from?” Lili smirked.

  Chapter 15

  The next morning, Jess set up a makeshift street scene on the paved farm road using an orange traffic cone, an old tyre, and a wheelbarrow to teach Aruishi about bike and road safety.

  “Can Crumpet, Cream Puff, Elsie, and Patch be like pretend cars?” Aruishi pointed to the four jersey cows in a nearby paddock. “Jack is over there.” She pointed to the farmhand. “Ask him to open the gate and let them through, Auntie Jess.”

  “That’s a very bad idea. No, we can’t let the cows out of the paddock.” Jess stifled a laugh. Aruishi would not be on a road with traffic anytime soon, but she needed to learn about obstacles, especially cars. “Just pretend the wheelbarrow is a car.”

  “But it’s not moving.”

  “Pretend it is a parked car,” Jess said.

  “It’s a very small parked car. With only one wheel.”

  Jess couldn’t fault her logic. “Yes, Aruishi. Stay in a straight line, no weaving about. I’m right behind you.”

  Aruishi turned around and called out, “I’m not weaving.”

  “Eyes in front. Watch out for that…wheelbarrow.”

  They completed the session with no major crisis, Aruishi finally agreeing to place both hands on the handlebars and not turn around. Although she’d been involved in programmes that instructed people of all ages to ride, after two hours instructing Aruishi, Jess was exhausted. It was different with her niece; there was more at stake.

  After they parked their bicycles side by side in the garage and stowed away their helmets, Aruishi threw her arms around her, and Jess was content.

  Later, on the drive over to Usha’s house, she checked the rear-vision mirror frequently. Initially, Aruishi had chattered nonstop, but she’d dozed off ten minutes after they’d left the farm and was still sound asleep.

  “Where are we?” She asked as Jess lifted her out of the booster seat and onto her hip.

  “We’re at Usha’s house,” Jess said. “Do you remember what I told you?”

  Aruishi rubbed her eyes and nodded. “Doctor Usha.”

  “That’s right. You’ve been here before with your mama, haven’t you?” Jess struggled to balance Aruishi on her hip and reach into the back seat for the large carry bag.

  “Ah-ha, I’ve been here with my Ben too,” Aruishi said, clinging onto Jess’s shoulder. “Can I give Usha the flowers?”

  “Yes, please do.” Jess placed the bag over her shoulder and scooped up the bunch of flowers Helen had picked especially for their visit. She eased Aruishi onto the footpath and took a firm hold of her hand. Aruishi reached for the flowers with her other hand and held them out in front of her.

  The door swung open, and Usha held out her arms. “Welcome,” she said, smiling broadly.

  Jess leaned in to Usha’s hug.

  Usha placed her hand on Aruishi’s shoulder. “Who have we here? You must be Aruishi?”

  “Yes, I am. I’ve met you before.” Aruishi handed her the flowers. “These are for you. They’re from Gran’s garden, but we brought them.”

  “Silly me. Of course you’ve been here before.” Usha took the bunch of red and yellow roses mixed with bright-orange tulips. She lifted them to her face, taking in a deep breath. “They smell wonderful, and they remind me of a sunset. Thank you, Aruishi, and Jess. Come, come.” She ushered them through the door and inside the house. “I must put these in a vase straight away. Let’s go to the kitchen,” she said. “I thought you could both help me make puris this afternoon.”

  “Puris? What’s that?” Aruishi tugged Usha’s free hand.

  Usha glanced over her shoulder at Jess. “Do you remember, Jess? How your mother and I taught you to make the deep-fried bread?”

  “I do. How could I forget? After Mum died and you moved in to our house, Ben and I would help you cook.” It was a bittersweet memory.

  Aruishi knelt on a chair beside Usha at the kitchen table. “That’s right, child. Press the dough a little with your hand. Then we can roll it flat,” Usha said. She flattened the round ball with the palm of her hand, lay it on the board, and placed her hands over Aruishi’s on the wooden rolling pin. “If we turn and roll, turn and roll, it will be a circle.”

  From her workstation at the other end of the table, Jess watched as Usha patiently gave directions to Aruishi—just as she had done when Jess was a child. Aruishi looked up wide-eyed as Usha added the last puri to the stack under a tea towel.

  “That makes twenty.” Aruishi held up both hands.

  “That’s ten,” Jess said.

  Aruishi opened and closed her hands and waved them in the air. “Twenty,” she yelled. “What can I do next?”

  Usha wiped her hands with a paper towel and placed them on her hips. “Next, my dear child, is that you can stay right here and watch while Jess finishes the potato bhaji and I fry the puri. Then we can eat.”

  “Puri and bhaji,” Aruishi repeated five times, and rubbed her stomach.

  “Shush, Aruishi.” Jess cleared one end of the kitchen table, pulled out colouring pencils and a large notebook from the carry bag, and placed them on the table. “Do you want to draw for a while until we eat?”

  “Can I draw Usha a picture of us on our bikes?”

  “Oh, I’d like to see what your new bike looks like,�
� Usha said.

  “Okay.” Aruishi opened the notebook and grabbed the box of pencils.

  Usha stepped beside her. “That is a beautiful locket you are wearing, Aruishi.”

  “It has pictures in it.” She held it out for Usha to take a closer look.

  “I know this locket, although I haven’t seen it for a long time. Would you mind if I held it for a moment?”

  Usha clasped the jewellery in the palm of her hand and closed her eyes. “I was with your grandmother when she bought this in India.” Her eyes fluttered open, and she turned to Jess. “She always wore it.”

  Aruishi put her hands on her hips and said with a huff, “I would wear it every day if I could, but my Mummy won’t let me.” She retrieved the locket from Usha’s hand, patted it gently, and tucked it back into her T-shirt.

  Jess smiled at Aruishi’s confidence and her spirit. She had the ability to lighten the weight of their sadness.

  “Jessica, you can move over here beside me so we can chat.” Usha tapped the benchtop near the stove.

  Jess began chopping the bunch of fresh coriander, as instructed by Usha. “This brings back many memories, Auntie.”

  Usha gently bumped Jess’s hip. “Ah, for me too. And it’s been a long time since you called me Auntie.”

  “I’m sorry, it just slipped out,” Jess apologised. “I’ve always thought of you as my aunt.”

  “Your mother and I were as close as sisters. When you and Ben were children, you always called me that. I don’t understand why people act as though it’s a derogatory term. We were taught it was a term of respect. So, don’t apologise. We are family, are we not?”

  Jess smiled and looked across to where Aruishi knelt on the kitchen chair, focused intently on her drawing. “Yes, Usha. It is wonderful spending time with you again.”

  “And now you have Aruishi. You are good with her.”

  Jess laughed. “Although I’ve worked with children, on a personal level, I’ve had very little experience with them.” She glanced again at her niece. “She can be very…mischievous,” she whispered.