by C. Fonseca
Aruishi threw herself on top of Lili.
“Oomph.” Lili fell back against the cushions.
“Mama, I’m here,” Aruishi announced, wrapping her arms around Lili’s neck. “I love you.”
Lili closed her eyes and gave her daughter a fierce hug. “I love you more.”
“No, I love you more.” Aruishi giggled and patted Lili’s cheeks. “Why are your eyes red? You look sad, but I’m home now, so you can be happy.”
Taking a deep breath, she lifted Aruishi onto her lap and kissed the top of her head. “I’m okay, munchkin. I missed you.”
“Morning, Lili,” Scott called from the hallway, his voice echoing through the house. “Where did that little rascal get to?”
“We’re in here, Dad,” Lili called back. She stood up carefully with Aruishi still clinging to her. “Thanks for bringing—oh, hi, Mum.”
Helen walked towards Lili, rustling the contents of a brown paper bag. “Ru helped me make muffins this morning,” she said, holding the bag up in front of Lili.
“They smell delicious. Apple and honey?”
“Yes.” Helen nodded. “Apple, honey, and oat. How about I put the kettle on?” She walked towards the kitchen. “Cup of tea, anyone?”
Aruishi jumped up from the couch. “Maybe Auntie Jess would like a muffin? I’ll go ask her.”
Lili grabbed her hand. “Wait a minute, Ru.”
“You won’t find Jess here,” Scott said. “She was away early this morning. I spotted the Jeep when I opened the top gate for the cows. It had that fancy bike of hers on the rack.” He patted Aruishi’s shoulder. “You can save one for Jess and give it to her when she comes home from her ride, darling.”
Aruishi looked at Scott and frowned. “Just one? She’ll be hungry. Jess goes very fast.”
“Jess has gone for a big ride and is staying overnight at Usha’s,” Lili said. “We’ll save her a muffin for tomorrow.”
“Are you sure, Mama? She didn’t tell me she wasn’t coming home tonight.”
Lili combed her fingers through Aruishi’s soft hair. “Maybe you can ring her later today,” she said, giving Aruishi a gentle nudge towards the kitchen. “Let’s help Gran make a pot of tea.”
Lili carried the tea tray and followed her mother out onto the deck. Helen sat down on the bench seat and Lili placed the tray in front of her. She pulled her sunglasses from the top of her head, slid them onto her face, and adjusted the umbrella to give Helen some shade at the table.
“Look at those two, they’re having their own tea party,” Helen said.
Aruishi and Scott sat cross-legged on the deck. Aruishi lifted her tiny melamine tea pot and pretended to pour tea into his matching polka-dot cup.
He lifted the cup with his little finger extended and made loud slurping noises.
“That’s not how you hold it, Papa. Do it like this.” She instructed, using her thumb and index finger to pinch in between the handle, and sipped delicately from her own cup.
“Well, excuse me,” he said in a posh English accent.
“Unlike my husband, I prefer the real thing,” Helen said, taking the cup Lili handed her.
They sat at the table for a few minutes watching Aruishi entertain Scott.
A cloud blocked the sun, and Lili pushed her sunglasses on top of her head. “When Jess and I took Ru to the Hi-vis shop in Geelong to pick up that funky little vest Jess ordered in for her, they thought she was Jess’s daughter,” she said. The incident had taken her by surprise.
“People see what they want to see and make assumptions,” Helen said. “With your fair colouring and blue eyes, it wouldn’t register immediately that you are Aruishi’s mother.”
“Yeah. People do make assumptions.” Talking about Jess brought tears to her eyes. Lili should have known to steer well away from the subject. She replaced her sunglasses before her mother noticed her watery eyes.
“You’re not hiding much behind those sunglasses, you know,” Helen said carefully. “I could tell you’d been crying when we got here. Want to talk about it?”
Lili shook her head. She wasn’t ready to tell her mother what had been going on between her and Jess.
“You always get a little melancholy just before your birthday. Is that what this is?”
“No, it’s just another day.” The truth was, she’d barely given her birthday a moment’s thought.
Aruishi was now dancing around Scott doing pirouettes, making Lili dizzy just to watch her.
“Ru’s excited about your birthday. She’s got things planned.”
That brought a smile to Lili’s face. “Is that why she asked you to take her to Geelong?”
“Correct. But I’ve been sworn to secrecy, so don’t ask any questions. When will Jess be back from Usha’s?”
“Tomorrow, I think. She has an appointment at the Sports Clinic in Drysdale for an ultrasound in the morning.”
“An ultrasound? Is something wrong?”
“It’s just to check her progress, and Jess uses the gym at the clinic. She’s been working out with one of the sports physicians who has a background in cycling.”
“Has Jess told you when she’s going back? Is that what you’re upset about?” Helen fixed her with a penetrating gaze.
Had her mother guessed there was something going on between them? She didn’t know what to say. After having pushed Jess into a corner last night, she wouldn’t be surprised if Jess left very soon. She bit her bottom lip and averted her gaze. Sunlight sparkled like tiny jewels on the bay.
She was falling in love with Jess. There—she’d finally admitted it to herself.
“Fine, I’ll stop beating around the bush, shall I?” Helen asked. “Last night, Ru confided that she saw you kissing Jess in the secret garden. She was up in the treehouse.”
Lili turned back to Helen, wide-eyed. “She did? What did she say exactly? Was she upset?”
“No. She didn’t seem upset,” Helen said. “She said it was funny, and that you and Jess laughed a lot. I’ve wondered for some time if you have feelings for her. But she’ll go back to London, eventually, won’t she? What does that mean for you? Do you know how Jess feels?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t know when she plans to go back.” She sighed. “Actually, we had a fight about it.”
“A fight?”
“Look, Mum, there are pictures on social media, of Jess with me and Ru. And other photos. I didn’t know about them till last night—”
“What kind of pictures?” Helen interrupted. Her eyes narrowed.
Lili glanced at her father, who’d turned towards them at the sound of Helen’s raised voice. She reached for her mother’s hand across the table. “Mum, hold on,” she said. “They weren’t that bad. The picture of Ru was taken in Queenscliff on the pier. It’s of us swinging her in the air.”
“But how did this happen? Is Jess being followed?” Helen asked, keeping her voice low. “I want to see them.”
“I’m sure you won’t be able to escape them soon. The articles and pictures insinuate that Jess is playing the field with women here.”
“What do you mean, ‘playing the field’? Who with? I assume you are one of the women.”
“Yes, but there is a picture of Jess kissing Haley. Or Haley kissing Jess. Whatever.”
“You mean our Haley?” Helen scowled. “No wonder you are upset. Is Jess sleeping with Haley?”
“Shush. No, Mum. She isn’t. The kiss thing happened at the nightclub when they went to Melbourne. Jess said it wasn’t anything. There is also a Twitter post of me and her in Fed Square.”
“Of you two kissing?” Helen asked, raising her eyebrows.
“It may as well have been.”
“Okay, then.” Helen nodded sagely. “So, if the picture with Haley was nothing, why were you and Jess arguing?”
&n
bsp; “Because last night, Jess had dinner with Simon and his guests from the women’s racing circuit. According to Twitter, the rumours are that an Australian team is trying to recruit her. She hadn’t even told me that she’s considering staying, or joining a team here.”
“Well, are you sure the rumour is true? Is that what Jess told you? You should ask her what her plans are. That would be the simplest solution.”
“That’s the problem, Mum, I tried to,” Lili said, “and she couldn’t tell me. She is unsure of so many things.”
“I know that must be disconcerting, but Jess has a lot on her plate. She’s dealing with Ben’s death and settling his estate. She’s still recovering from her injuries. It can’t be easy having to cope with so much. On top of that, she found out about Ru.”
Lili clutched her teacup, then quickly placed it down on the table. “And that’s another thing. I know she adores Ru, but when she goes, Ru will be devastated.”
Helen turned towards her granddaughter. “God knows, she thinks Jess is a cross between Wonder Woman and the princess from Brave, on a superfast bike.” She turned back to Lili. “Does Jess know?”
“What?”
“That you’re in love with her?”
Lili tightened her arms against her chest. “Oh, Mum.” She loosened her grip and sighed. “I was stupid to react to the photos the way I did. It wasn’t Jess’s fault someone posted a picture of Ru. But what about her dinner with the Australian racing team? What’s that about? I don’t know what’s going on with her. She doesn’t share things,” Lili whispered.
She’d convinced herself letting Jess go was the right thing to do—ending what they had before she got in deeper and left herself wide open for hurt. All the same, she ached with regret whenever she thought about it.
“Every day I’ve been expecting her to say she’s leaving,” Lili said, gazing across the rolling valley to the sweeping expanse of ocean.
“You need to tell her how you feel, Lili. She could have gone home by now. Ben’s estate is all but settled, and Jess has agreed to Nathan and his girlfriend’s request for a one-year lease on the shack when they return from South America. I didn’t think she’d stay this long. You must have asked yourself why she has. Maybe it has something to do with Ru. And you.”
Lili looked up into her mother’s searching eyes. “She does care a lot about Ru.” But just because she’d bonded with her niece didn’t mean Lili had allowed herself to imagine Jess would want to stay for her.
“It’s not just about Ru, though, is it?” Helen asked. “You and Ru, me and Scott—we’re Jess’s family now. And Usha. That must mean something?”
“I don’t know, Mum.”
Jess could probably do just about anything she put her mind to, even the Tour de France, so why was she so indecisive about her future?
While they’d been chatting, Scott and Aruishi had moved to the table and helped themselves to the remaining muffin. Aruishi stood on the bench across from Lili, nibbling her piece slowly.
Scott perched himself on the seat next to Helen and placed one hand over hers. “Everything all right here, girls?” he asked.
Lili wanted to kick herself. She should have told Jess how she felt, but what if her feelings weren’t reciprocated? Their physical attraction was definitely mutual—an already intoxicating sexual connection. But for her, it went beyond that. Lili hadn’t met anyone since Dani who was worth the effort, or the risk, of something more.
If she wanted this, she had to be brave, didn’t she? To take a chance and risk Jess’s rejection. That was, if she wasn’t already too late.
The cadence sensor on the bicycle’s GPS confirmed Jess’s pedal revolutions per minute were continuing to improve. Her rhythm had returned, and her legs were a lot stronger. She felt great. Assuming the diagnostic ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow gave her encouraging results, she’d contact Tara Green and arrange a meeting to find out what exactly they had to offer.
Jess was at the tail end of her forty-nine-kilometre ride. Her bicycle tyres hissed on the wet asphalt as she rode into a headwind along 13th Beach Road near Barwon Heads. The brief spring rain shower had passed, and sunlight peeped through the clouds, streaming across the river estuary and the broad ocean beach with its huge crashing waves. She steered around a surfer strapping his board to the top of his utility, and headed in the direction of the Point Lonsdale Lighthouse where she’d parked the Jeep.
During her ride, she’d thought long and hard about Lili’s accusations. It was obvious why Lili was frustrated and didn’t trust her. In road racing, Jess learned to handle the ups and downs and unexpected obstacles. But Lili’s outburst last night about her indecisiveness had momentarily stopped her in her tracks. She had procrastinated long enough.
It was just after five o’clock when she knocked on Usha’s door.
“Jess, come in,” Usha said with a welcoming smile as she beckoned her into the house. “Have you been listening to the radio? There’s a storm blowing in across Port Phillip Bay.” She drew Jess in for a quick a hug. “I worried you’d be out on one of your hundred-kilometre rides and get caught in the downpour.”
“It was forty-nine-point-five kilometres,” Jess said, and smiled at Usha’s exaggeration. She followed her into the living room. “There were light showers earlier, but it’s bright and sunny now. No sign of rain.”
“Well, it is coming very soon,” Usha said. “The rain app on my phone predicts a heavy downfall, accompanied by gale force winds, thunder, and lightning.”
At that news, Jess exhaled with relief. She should have taken more notice of the forecast, instead of rushing out of Lili’s house early this morning, unprepared for a change of weather. “Even more reason to be here, in your warm welcoming home,” she said.
“It is nice to have you stay.” Usha picked up Jess’s overnight bag and then put it down again. She tapped her forehead. “I almost forgot. You hoped it would arrive in time for Lili’s birthday, and it is here.” She walked to the dresser near the front door and returned holding a yellow-and-white package. “It’s arrived. Oh, and do you want to change out of your riding gear? We can put your things in the guest room too.”
Jess took the parcel from Usha and tucked it under her arm. “Thank you. That’s fantastic. And yes, I wouldn’t mind a quick shower, if that’s okay?” She tugged at her bib shorts and jersey before picking up her bag. “Sweaty post-ride lycra.”
“Yes, of course, make yourself at home. There is an en suite for you through here.” She indicated the door inside the bedroom, between an antique carved wardrobe and a small writing desk. “You are very colourful in your cycling gear, but I don’t know how you wear that skin-tight elasticised clothing.” Her eyes twinkled with amusement. “I will leave you to have your shower. When you are ready, there is a nice red wine waiting for me to pour. Then we can talk about dinner and what you’d like me to cook for you.”
“Usha, you didn’t want me to take you out, but you did agree to a takeaway meal,” Jess said. “And considering the storm, it’s a good idea to have it delivered. That way we’re safe and will have plenty of time to talk. I need your advice.”
“Okay, okay, child.” Usha held up her hands and tilted her head from side to side. “We will talk and have takeaway, if you insist. I have some menus in the kitchen drawer. Will pizza suit? Or do you need more protein after your long ride?”
“I fuelled up with a protein smoothie this afternoon, so we can have whatever you wish.”
“Good, all settled, then. Pizza it is.” As she pulled the door closed behind her, she said, “Take your time.”
Jess unzipped the overnight bag, took out her change of clothes, and laid them on the bed, alongside the small package. She collected her toiletries, stepped into the en suite, and flicked on the light. Usha was right about the coming storm. Out of the small bathroom window, Jess saw how the sun had retreated
behind a thick bank of clouds. The wind had picked up, and she heard the creaking sound trees made when branches scraped against each other. She quickly shed her clothing, wrapped her arms around herself as she shivered, and stepped under the welcoming hot water. Another thunderstorm. She was relieved Usha’s home was cosy, a shelter from the storm.
About a half hour later, Jess was flicking her damp braid over her shoulder and sitting down on the sofa across from Usha, who handed her a glass of wine and glanced at her watch. “Our pizza should have been here by now. I expect the storm has caused the delay.”
“At least we’re safe,” she said, raising her glass to Usha. “I still can’t bear these spring storms, but if I’m considering staying here, I’ll have to get used to them.”
Usha stared, wide-eyed. “Oh Jess, are you really contemplating moving back to Australia?”
Jess nodded slowly. “Hmm. I can’t imagine being truly happy anywhere else.” She really couldn’t. “But do you think I’m doing the right thing?”
Usha tapped her fingers on the rim of her glass. “It would be wonderful, but what if it doesn’t work out? I mean, with Lili?” She regarded her with a shrewd gaze. “You’ve had a difficult time this year, adjusted to many changes. It’s a risk, Jess.”
“It’s one I’m willing to take. I’ve never been so sure of anything before. I know Lili and I can make things work.” Jess sat up straighter in her chair. “Since my father died, I have no direct family in England, only my cousin in France, but we’ve never been close. Even though Lili is the catalyst, she’s not the only reason I want to come…home.”
