Rewind Boxed Set

by Rowan Shaw

  I was a selfish asshole, though. I couldn't help but feel sick at the thought of losing him to some other guy. I couldn't stomach the thought of him sleeping with someone else or another man tasting his smiles every morning. I wanted to bang my head against the walls and break free from my own damn fears.

  I'd sent all my employees home early today because I didn't have any work for them tonight. I wasn't sure how long this storm would last, but the swirling down the shit pit had sure been painful.

  I tapped my fingertips over my desk, wondering how to promote my business and grow it now that it was wrecked to near oblivion. I thought of claiming bankruptcy and building a brand new company, but I didn't have the strength to start from scratch all over again. It had taken so much energy to build this one up to begin with.

  "Will you stop moping?" Héloïse asked as she stepped into my office.

  I hadn't heard her come in. Proof enough that I was distracted. She gave me a quick once over, her eyes rolling over my messy hair, my undone tie and collar, and my sleeves that were pulled all the way back to my elbows.

  "What are you doing here?" I asked. "It's past nine P.M. Don't you have a girlfriend to take care of or something?"

  "She'll be fine for one evening."

  I leaned back in my seat, raking my hair.

  "We need to find a solution, fast," she said like I wasn't aware of that already.

  "Well, obviously, going to the cops and having the fucking news show up wasn't the best idea."

  She shook her head. "They can't catch the guys who did it if you don't tell them, duh. Now they know and can work on that."

  "Like they'll catch them anyway. The three of them were wearing hoods and gloves."

  Héloïse pursed her lips. "Well, you won't solve anything by being an insufferable grouch. Just saying."

  I was about to reply when my phone saved me from spewing something mildly sarcastic and rude. Héloïse deserved better. I didn't want to push her away the way I did Enzo. I couldn't bring myself to reject the two most important people in my life all in one week. Even if leaving might be best for Héloïse.

  I really was a selfish prick.

  I grabbed my phone from the back pocket of my black slacks and stared at the screen.

  Jacques: Marlène needs you, man.

  I cursed under my breath, ready to block his number when another message came through.

  Jacques: She's in the hospital.

  I blinked a couple times.

  Me: What happened?

  Jacques: I'm not sure. She was attacked. She wouldn't tell me.

  Me: Why should I care?

  Jacques: She's your ex, man. You guys dated forever. You were practically married.

  Right!

  Me: She cheated on me, then she dumped my ass, and now she ruined my business.

  Jacques: What?

  Me: The damn graffiti.

  Jacques: Dude, that wasn't her!

  Me: Yeah, right!

  Jacques: I swear. She was real upset about it. She called me when you showed up on TV and everything.

  Like I was going to believe that. If Marlène wasn't behind all the damage, then who was?

  Jacques: She needs you, man. Come on, don't be an ass. She's in real bad shape.

  Me: Are you at the hospital right now?

  Jacques: Yes, I just saw her. She won't tell me what happened. She asked to see you.

  I clicked my tongue.

  Me: Is it really that bad?

  Jacques: It's not good.

  No matter what had happened between Marlène and me, we shared history. A part of me still cared about her even if I really shouldn't. Damn it!

  Me: Is she at Saint Julien?

  Jacques: Yeah.

  Me: I'll be right there. What room?

  I was such a damn sucker!

  Chapter 44

  ENZO

  Only two weeks left before school started. The principal had called for a meeting so I could present the program I'd worked on all summer. All the teachers would discuss my ideas together before I presented the project to the Board. I took a sip of coffee while standing in the teachers’ lounge, trying to relax. I'd been dreading this day all summer, mostly because I didn't want to be around Cyrille, but also because I feared my plan would be rejected. I didn't think I could keep working for this school if the Board didn't agree to improve our curriculum.

  When the door opened behind me, my back tensed. Cyrille's scent preceded his familiar footsteps. I braced myself and took a quick glance at him. Now that Florian wasn't around anymore, I couldn't trust my betraying body not to respond to Cyrille's presence around the school.

  Over the months after our break-up, I'd tried to ignore my reactions to my ex, but the carnal needs were still there, driving me nuts. Today though, nothing happened. I stared at him, waiting for the familiar tingle inside me. My shoulders slumped in relief. I felt nothing for him. Nothing but slight annoyance bordering on indifference.

  I looked him up and down. Sure, he still looked striking and pristine, taller than me, with lean muscles I could outline underneath his light blue button-down shirt, but my body was almost rejecting his presence.

  He gave me a lopsided grin, misinterpreting my staring for more than it was. I knew the look too well. I wasn't sure why he kept flirting with me after I'd made it clear we were done, but I was glad his charm didn't affect me anymore. If anything, his little games irritated me.

  "Did you have a nice summer?" he asked, his gray eyes shining almost wickedly.

  "Yeah, it was good," I lied. "And yours?"

  "I saw the news." His lips curled into the tiniest smirk.

  I narrowed my eyes, confused.

  "About your boyfriend," he added.

  I remained there, slack-jawed. He was rejoicing over what had happened to Florian. Of course he was. Cyrille couldn't stand competition. Any low shot was fair play to him.

  "How is he doing?"

  "I don't know," I acknowledged reluctantly.

  He raised an eyebrow, the sparks in his irises not hiding an ounce of his satisfaction. "Trouble between the two lovebirds?"

  "Why do you care?"

  He came toward me and traced my face with his eyes, stopping on my scar. "You know why."

  "I made it clear you and I are over. You broke up with me. Deal with it!"

  His smile turned patronizing when he changed the subject. "Is your presentation ready?"

  "It was ready a month ago."

  I worked on it the week after our school meeting. Everything after that was mere improvements.

  "That's what I like most about you. Always so passionate and assiduous about your job." He went to the coffee machine and inserted a few coins to pour himself an espresso, then cast a quick look at me over his shoulder. "I know I've never said it, but I'm proud of you, Enzo."

  Right!

  "Is that why you keep rejecting my ideas at every turn? Because you're proud of me?"

  He didn't look at me. "I still think it's in our students' best interest to adapt to the hearing world. My views on that won't change. I think we both know that. I've seen the way people treated my mom out there, mon canard."

  I hated it when he called me "mon canard." He knew that. Patrick was the only one allowed to call me all kinds of stupid pet names.

  "The kids always pointed their fingers at her. The adults treated her like something was wrong with her. At school, I took the brunt of all that. I was bullied constantly, every day. I don't want that for our students, that's all."

  I stood there without a word. I already knew all this. It explained a lot about his reluctance to help, but I still disagreed with him.

  "Would you like it if people tried to force you to be straight?" I asked.

  He propped his back against the wall, one of his legs bent at the knee as he pressed the sole of his shoe against the paint. He beheld me from under his eyelashes and took a sip of his coffee, his forehead creased. "I can't be straight. We both know that."


  "If there was something out there that might make you straight, would you do it?"

  He shook his head. "I don't see why I should change who I am just to please other people."

  "It's exactly the same with those kids. You're pretending they can enter the hearing world, but they can't. Not completely. And even if they could, why should they?"

  "Because it's an opportunity for them to blend into our society and fit in. Why wouldn't they want that?"

  "The same way you could blend into society more easily if you were attracted to women. Why wouldn't you want that?" I shot back.

  Cyrille's mouth curled. "I've tried sleeping with women. Things don't work that way."

  "If you could, though, would you?"

  "No, I wouldn't. People should accept me for who I am. There's nothing wrong with being gay."

  "And there is nothing wrong with being deaf. That's what you don't seem to understand."

  "You're stubborn, you know that?" he hissed before finishing his coffee in one gulp.

  I thought my argument was infallible, though. I wasn't sure why it wasn't getting through to him. I didn't know why I always tried to change him when I knew he never would.

  "Why don't you use sign language during class?" I asked, unwilling to give up. "I've seen you. You never sign, and yet you're more fluent than I am since you've learned it from birth."

  "I already told you why. I want them to fit into society."

  "By failing school because their teacher can't be bothered to communicate in their native language?"

  "Their native language is French!" he snapped.

  I clenched my jaw, ready to respond when our coworker opened the door.

  "The meeting's about to start," she said with a look. "All ready, Enzo?"

  I glared at Cyrille and nodded at Jeanne, giving a faint grin.

  Chapter 45

  FLORIAN

  "You came?" Marlène exclaimed when I entered her hospital room. I took one look at her face and winced. Her beautiful skin was bruised, her cheek swollen, almost black in some areas, one of her eyebrows slashed.

  "Well, don't look at me like that," she said. "I know I look awful. No need to rub it in."

  In spite of what she had done to me, I couldn't bear to see her like this. I took the chair by her bed, then ran my hands over her white sheet and the monitor attached to her fingertip. Seeing the bruises punched into her delicate skin flamed raging anger inside me. If I found the bastard who'd done this...

  "How are you feeling?" I asked, taking a deep breath to calm down.

  Her smile was tight-lipped, and she winced under the pain. "Been better."

  "Is Guy here?" I wasn't in the mood to see that jackass. Marlène and I had a history. I felt obligated to check in on her. Guy, though, was fucking dead to me.

  She shook her head and stared at me for a while. I felt like asking if he was too busy fucking someone else to be with his girl when she was at the hospital, but I refrained from stooping so low when Marlène was already down.

  "We broke up," she let out and watched my reaction. "That probably makes you happy."

  I arched an eyebrow. The truth was I was over all that. I didn't care what Marlène did with her life. And I sure as fuck didn't care what Guy did with his either.

  "No, it doesn't make me happy."

  She looked at me as if trying to gauge whether I was lying or not. Her voice filled with disappointment. "So you're not jealous anymore?"

  "Do you want me to be?"

  She didn't reply right away. "I guess it means you no longer care about me."

  I grabbed her hand that was cold to the touch. "I will always care about you, Marlène. We lived together for many years. I can't sweep that under the rug as if nothing happened. But what you did, it..." I took a second to breathe. The truth was she almost destroyed me. If it weren't for Enzo stepping into my life at the right moment, who knows where I'd be today. "You broke my heart."

  She looked away. "I know. You never deserved those things I said. I never should have cheated on you."

  I wasn't sure what was going on or if she even meant that. Knowing her, it could all be some manipulation to gain something from me.

  "What happened to you?" I asked.

  "How is your business doing?" she changed the subject.

  "Not great."

  "I'm sorry."

  I studied her in silence for a long time. "Did you have anything to do with what happened?"

  She stared at me in shock. "How could you even think that?"

  I cocked an eyebrow at her. "How could I not?"

  She shook her head vehemently and squeezed my fingers. "I didn't. I promise."

  For some reason, I believed her. Probably because Marlène was always so outspoken and blunt, to the point of hurting everyone's feelings. She was like a damn bulldozer. If she had anything to do with the graffiti, she would probably brag about it, even if it was a criminal act. That was just who she was.

  "It was Guy," she whispered. "That's why I wanted to talk to you."

  "Guy? Why would Guy—"

  "Because I'm still in love with you."

  I sat there, unsure what to say. There was no way I could reply, really.

  She raised her green eyes toward me. "I miss you."

  Her words should have brought me joy or some kind of sweet revenge or relief, but I found I didn't care anymore. I'd begun to mourn our relationship long before she broke it off. Our love died that day she blamed my sterility on my orientation. She wrecked me back then, and everything else after that was just a confirmation that she wasn't the right one for me.

  "I'm in love with someone else," I said and watched as sorrow and understanding filled her eyes. Even if I wasn't with Enzo anymore, he had helped me move on. I didn't want Marlène to think she still stood a chance.

  "She's lucky," she said with a forced smile.

  "His name is Enzo."

  She stared at me like I'd just slapped her. Even after all this time, she still couldn't digest the fact that I liked men. How could she still believe we belonged together? I deserved someone who accepted me for who I was. Not someone who straight-washed me at every turn.

  "Your friend who's hearing-impaired?"

  "He's not hearing-impaired. He's deaf."

  "Did you sleep with him when you were still living with me?" she asked, her voice cracking.

  "I never cheated on you, Marlène. I ran into him at some club a few days after I found you with Guy." Not that I owed her an explanation. I had done nothing wrong.

  She bit her upper lip. "It didn't take you long to replace me, I see."

  "Are you really going to play the blame game now?" I asked not-so-kindly.

  "I guess I was right all along. You truly were gay after all. I always knew."

  I clicked my tongue. So much for her changing. "I was always bi, Marlène. Being with Enzo doesn't change that."

  "But you don't even know him."

  I held the bridge of my nose. I had never told her the complete truth about that time my parents disowned me. She knew it was because I was queer. She didn't know it involved Enzo. She didn't know I'd also lost the love of my life that day.

  "When my parents refused to see me anymore, I was dating Enzo. He..." I closed my eyes, trying to find the right words because they still cut me so deeply. When I gazed at her, she was gaping at my face. "He lost his hearing because some homophobic prick attacked us after seeing us kissing in the street. That day, I thought Enzo was going die. He didn't. But a part of me did."

  Her eyes filled with intense remorse. It was like she was seeing me for the first time. "I'm sorry."

  I nodded, then took a breath. "I forgive you. For everything you did to me. I forgive you."

  It cost me to say the words, but I meant them. I didn't hold a grudge against her. Not anymore. What I felt was probably worse. I was indifferent. I'd come here to ensure she was okay, but her well-being only mattered to me the way one human cared for another. T
here were no romantic feelings there.

  "Does he make you happy?"

  I nodded, unable to suppress a smile. Yes, he did make me happy. Incredibly so. Even if I refused to let my happiness prevail over his safety.

  "I'm glad."

  "You will find someone. Just try to avoid men like Guy in the future."

  "I doubt I'll be so lucky. I mean, look at me. One ex who's gay. The other who's a psychopath."

  I didn't respond. I didn't need others to validate my sexual identity anymore. "You said Guy was involved in what happened to my business? Was he the one who sprayed the façade?"

  She gave a reluctant nod.

  "I find that hard to believe. Guy spells impeccably. Those words...I mean..."

  She looked at me pointedly.

  "He pretended to misspell?"

  "When the news came on, he had that smirk on his face, you know? I confronted him about it, and he told me everything. He wasn't even ashamed of it. He'd planned it with two of his friends. I told him I'd call the police."

  "What did he say?" When she didn't reply, my eyes bulged. "Wait! Is he the one who hit you?"

  She gave a shameful nod.

  "Did you tell the police?"

  She shook her head. "I wanted to talk to you first."

  "You need to sue him for what he did to you."

  "Could he go to jail for what he did to your business?"

  "Forget about my business, Marlène. He hit you. He deserves jail for that alone. If you don't call the police, I will."

  "Could...could we do it together?"

  "Do you want me to call them now?" I asked.

  "Will they come here?"

  "They need to see what was done to you."

  She held my hand tighter. "I'm scared."

  "I won't let him hurt you again. I promise." And I meant it.

  "You won't be there all the time, Florian. You can't protect me."

  I breathed deeply. Sadly, she was right.

  "I won't force you to do what you don't want to," I said. "But I'm reporting him for what he did to my business."

  She bore a renewed resolute look on her face, her green eyes filling with the same kind of revenge I'd seen in her all too often. "Call them. Do it before I chicken out." She raised her bruised chin. "He dared tell me I'm not even a good lay. That bastard!"