by Rowan Shaw
"Un, deux, trois, quatre..." I was missing at least three paintings from my stash. "Qu'est-ce qui s'passe, putain?" I cursed, exasperated.
My panic was reaching high levels I could barely control. Though I had no intentions of selling my art, it meant a lot to me. I'd poured pieces of myself into every painting. I couldn't understand what was going on. There were only two people who had access to the apartment: Raphaël and Daniel. Unless I'd been robbed, but I couldn't think of a single reason why someone would want to steal my art and leave the TV and computer behind. It made no sense at all.
I decided to text Daniel first. I didn't want to bother Raphaël now.
Me: Hey, you available? We need to talk.
As always, Daniel replied almost instantly.
Daniel: What's up?
Me: Did you come to my apartment again when I wasn't there?
Daniel: No. Why?
Me: Some of my art is gone.
Daniel: I have better shit to do than steal your art, Adrien.
Of course. The phone beeped again.
Marion: Are we still meeting tonight?
Shit. I'd forgotten about that. I'd cancelled my appointment in the afternoon, but then things got so hectic with Raphaël, I forgot I had booked two clients today.
Me: Yes, of course.
Marion: Noémie said she bought us a surprise.
For the first time since I'd met Marion, I wasn't as excited about spending time with her as I usually would be. I was worried sick about Raphaël and his mom, first of all. I'd spent the entire day thinking about him. Since he hadn't texted me yet to let me know what was going on, I wasn't sure I could focus on Marion and Noémie tonight. And now with my art missing, I could barely think.
Me: Looking forward to it. See you in a bit.
I was such a fucking liar. I sighed and texted Daniel again.
Me: I'll talk to you later. I have to go.
Daniel: Keep me posted about the art.
I stormed out of my studio and dropped my phone on the living room table, then took off my pants and shirt to go take a shower. I set the water on the highest temperature and relished the scorching heat against my skin when I got in. Though the shower lasted over twenty minutes, I didn't want to get out. I didn't want to meet Marion. For the first time in my life, the prospect of a threesome with two women failed to entice me. I was seriously fucked.
I considered calling the cops about my missing shit, but I doubted it was valuable enough to start an investigation. I didn't need them to come here, snoop around my stuff, and ask about my life or my job anyway. Steering clear of trouble to avoid the police had been my number one concern since becoming an escort.
After wrapping myself in a towel and trimming my two-days scruff, I put on some tight jeans and a button-down shirt just the way Marion liked it. I pocketed some viagra as well. Never in my life had I needed some when I was supposed to meet with a woman before, let alone two, but this was just how down the hole I was. Sighing, I grabbed my leather jacket and left.
To my relief, it didn't take Marion long to open the door and figure out I was under the weather.
"You could have cancelled if you weren't feeling well," she commented, scrutinizing me when I joined her in her spacious living room and sat on her lavender linen couch.
"You said Noémie had a surprise. I didn't want to disappoint her."
Besides, I'd already cancelled one appointment today; it would have made me feel like shit to cancel two of them.
"Adrien, your well-being is more important than whatever Noémie has in store for us. We can have fun some other time. Are you sure you don't want to go home and rest?"
"I'll be fine." I really wasn't. It was consuming all my energy just to smile.
"Noémie left to go get us some champagne. How about you tell me what's going on before she comes back?" Marion suggested, wrapping her warm hand around mine.
Though Noémie still had a place of her own, she seemed to be spending more time here than her apartment nowadays. Even if we'd met a bunch since our threesome in New York, I wasn't sure how serious they'd become.
"It's nothing," I lied. "I don't want to talk about it. Tonight is about you two." My hand itched with the need to check my phone, but if Raphaël had sent an update, I would have felt it buzz already.
"Forget about the whole client thing for a second. I want you to see me as your friend tonight. What's wrong?"
After hesitating, I told her about Raphaël's mom.
"The last time I saw you like this was when you broke up with Kevin."
She thought that only because I was so good at pretending. In spite of her magical powers, even Marion couldn't always tell when I was depressed.
"Did you meet someone?" she asked.
I shook my head as a reflex.
"You haven't quite been yourself recently, Adrien. When we have sex, it's still unbelievably good, but it's like you're not really there. What's going on?"
I hadn't realized I'd been lacking when it came to sexual performance. Hearing it from her only made me feel worse. It seemed even sex wasn't something I excelled at anymore.
"Something's been going on with my roommate," I acknowledged.
Marion never took her hand off mine as she motioned with the other one to continue.
I moved in my seat, getting uncomfortable. "We've been fucking for months. For free. I never charged him. Just sex, no strings attached."
She studied me before saying, "Why do I have a feeling it's been more than just sex?"
I didn't want to answer her question. I'd been denying the truth for a very long time. My feelings for Raphaël weren't something I wanted to dwell on or dig into right now.
"You've grown attached to him, haven't you?"
"It was supposed to be just sex."
Marion let out a soft laugh and intertwined our fingers together. "It's never just sex, Adrien. Especially with you."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that whether you realize it or not, sex with you always feels like more. You're so attentive, so considerate, so passionate. I'm guessing he's in love with you as well?"
I dodged her question. I didn't want to think about the pain in Raphaël's eyes when I wouldn't stop working.
"How long have you and your roommate been...together?"
"Since November."
"It's been ten months? That's a very long time to have sex with someone without growing feelings, Adrien. No wonder you like him."
I was so fucked. And so angry at myself for falling into this trap.
"Are you in love with him?"
I swallowed on the lump building in my throat but didn't reply.
"Are you?" she insisted.
"I don't know," I lied.
She eyed me suspiciously. "You don't know, or you don't want to acknowledge the truth?"
"I can't fall in love."
"That wasn't my question."
I inhaled a breath. "He hates what I do for a living. He can't accept it, and I'm not selfish enough to force him to."
"What if there was a way for you to quit your job?"
"I don't want to quit my job."
"Are you sure?" she asked. "You've been distant recently. Even Noémie noticed it, and she doesn't know you like I do. I think when you're with us, you're thinking about him."
Yes, I was, and I hated that.
"You never answered my question, Adrien. Are you in love with him?"
I nodded reluctantly. "Yes."
"Is he in love with you as well?"
"I think so. He never said." A few weeks had gone by since Raphaël and I fought. I wasn't sure where his head was anymore.
"I received a strange phone call last week," Marion changed the subject as if to relieve me from this burden. "Do you know anyone named Noah Perrin?"
I narrowed my eyes. "Noah?"
"He said he's one of your friends, and he has a project going on for his YouTube channel. He wants to hire my marketing services."
/> I stared at her, flabbergasted. "How did he get your information? I never talked about you with any—"
I clenched my teeth. The only people who knew about both Noah and Marion were Raphaël and Daniel. Raphaël didn't have their personal information, but Daniel did.
"What else did he say?" I asked, swallowing down my growing frustration. Daniel was hiding something. I wasn't sure what he was up to, but I didn't like it at all.
"He wouldn't tell me, but I'm meeting him tomorrow."
My nostrils twitched. If Daniel was behind all this, his behavior was unprofessional. He hadn't advised me of anything before involving two of my clients behind my back.
"I don't know how he got ahold of your number."
Marion stroked my hand. "I'm sure it's nothing bad. I'm intrigued, actually." Her blue eyes roamed my face as she gave me a tight-lipped smile. "I think I'm going to pass on sex for today if that's all right with you. Maybe you can take us out to eat somewhere instead."
My shoulders sagged from relief and disappointment in myself.
"Your job isn't supposed to be about sex, Adrien. That's what you've been affirming for years. Today is the day you get to prove that."
I gave a pathetic, unconvincing smile and kissed her cheek, inhaling her refreshing rose fragrance. "You know I'll always want you, right?"
"I know. But everyone is allowed a day when they're not into sex."
"Never happens to me."
"It sure is happening today, though, isn't it?"
She was wrong, actually. I was into sex today, but the one person I wanted sex with wasn't around, nor did he want to touch me again while I still did this job.
"What would you like to eat?" I asked, still disheartened.
"I haven't had seafood since forever. And Noémie loves fish."
I gave a nod and raised a finger. "Let me just place a call to make the reservation."
If anything, I would try to book us a table at the Vent d'Armor. I owed them that much.
Chapter 53
RAPHAËL
I looked at my mom profoundly asleep on her hospital bed, her hand in my dad's. She had woken up shortly after my arrival yesterday, and the doctor assured us she was well but for three broken ribs, a fractured ankle, and a bad concussion. He warned us she might be disoriented or show some irritability and confusion at times. She would be coming back home soon too, which was a relief.
When my phone beeped, I didn't pay heed. I wanted to savor every second I could spend with my parents. Almost losing my mom was the scariest thing I'd ever gone through. I understood what Adrien meant when he said I was lucky and naïve. I'd been coddled by life until now, and I'd never realized it. I had the most wonderful parents a man could possibly hope for, a roof over my head, and I'd never lacked for anything, while Adrien had lived half his life in fear, feeling abandoned when his own parents wouldn't accept him as he was. He had no one to lean on—no one but Daniel. I wondered if that was where his devotion to the man came from.
My phone beeped a second time, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"How about you answer that and go get me some coffee?" my dad suggested. "I called Florian. He should be here any minute now."
I gave a nod and slid my phone out of my back pocket, raising one finger to let my dad know I'd be right back. Once out, I stopped in the corridor to take a deep breath before I pressed my back against the wall and checked my screen.
Adrien: How is your mom doing?
I hated how my heart did a somersault upon seeing his name—every fucking time.
Me: She's doing a lot better already. The doctor said she needed to rest and take things slow. But everything is fine.
Adrien: Please tell her I said "hi."
Me: I will.
Adrien: How are you holding up?
Me: I'm fine.
Adrien: When are you coming back?
Me: In a few days. I can't skip too many classes, but I want to wait until she gets back home and help around the house as much as I can.
Adrien: Is there anything I can do?
Me: We're good. Thanks for the flowers, though.
Adrien: Did your mom like them?
Me: She keeps gushing over what a sweet boy you are and how lucky I am that I found you. She's convinced we're dating. The flowers arrived this morning when she was in the bathroom with the nurse. I'll let you imagine the scene when she got out and saw them.
A few dots appeared, then disappeared, then showed up again.
Adrien: I miss you.
I stared at my phone for a while without moving.
"Everything okay?" my dad asked as he popped his head out of the bedroom.
"Euh oui, oui." I raised my index finger for him to wait. "Just one sec. I'll get your coffee."
He patted me on the shoulder and went back inside.
Adrien: The message says "read," and you're not replying, so I guess you're still pissed at me.
Me: I'm not pissed.
Adrien: I've had time to think. We need to talk when you get home.
It made me feel weird when he said "home." Technically, it was my place too, but him calling it our home made it sound so much more intimate than that.
Me: How is everything going over there?
Adrien: Alright. Kinda sucks without you here.
Me: You're not working?
It cost me to ask. I didn't want to think about his job.
Adrien: I think we both know I prefer being with you. I hate this whole situation between us.
I did too.
Adrien: I miss your dimples.
I laughed at that. I missed him as well. A lot more than I liked.
Me: You're such a bad flirt.
Adrien: Am I?
Me: You really are. Thank God you're good in bed.
Adrien: Just good, huh?
Me: I won't even bother replying to that.
Adrien: You may want to verify I can still perform. I may have lost my skills.
I rolled my eyes. I had no doubt he hadn't been lacking any action in the sex department. My stomach clenched at the thought. I missed being with him so damn much. I shook my head and went for a joke I didn't feel.
Me: Nice try.
Adrien: Can you send me your train information?
Me: Why?
Adrien: Just want to know when you're returning to me.
Me: Sure, I'll text you as soon as I've booked a ticket. But you'd better not be waiting for me at the station with roses and shit.
Adrien: Roses and shit, huh? Noted...
Me: No.
No response.
Me: Adrien?
He was gone.
Me: Adrien. I'm not kidding. You'd better not.
The little dots showed up. Then disappeared. I let out a low growl.
Adrien: See you soon.
I thought he was done when another message popped up.
Adrien: You wouldn't happen to know where my charcoal drawings are by any chance?
Shit. I didn't think he'd find out about that so quickly. I was going to return them, but then my mom had the accident and I completely forgot.
Me: Nope. You're sure Ila didn't eat them?
Adrien: Haha. Really funny. There are only two people with access to my studio. That's you and Daniel. So one of you is lying.
He was way too quick at piecing everything together. If he found out I'd contacted Daniel too, he would be pissed.
Me: You're sure you didn't leave them at the café?
I felt bad for misleading him. Knowing him, he was probably freaking out about misplacing his art. Thankfully, he hadn't noticed some paintings were gone too.
Adrien: I'm also missing some canvases.
Fuck!
Me: Look, I don't know. I'm sorry. I have to go. My mom's waking up.
Such a lie.
Adrien: A bientôt.
Me: Et pas de roses!
When he didn't reply, I knew I was screwed. He'd bring a whole bouquet at the station just t
o embarrass me. I could only hope he wouldn't figure out what I'd truly been up to these past few weeks. The last thing I needed was to go home to him all pissed off at me. I didn't have time to ponder this for long though, because a familiar voice called to me from down the hall. I turned my head and saw Florian heading my way with Enzo on his heels. My smile spread in spite of myself when he pulled me in his arms for a hug.
"I'm so relieved she's okay," he whispered.
I nodded against his shoulder, then pulled away and tilted my chin toward the room. When we walked in, my family was finally complete—except for one person missing. Adrien wasn't there, and the part of me that needed him was aching for his presence.
"Where's my coffee?" my dad asked, catching me in my reverie.
"Oh sorry."
I was thankful for a distraction as I sneaked out of the room and headed to the machine on the second floor, praying to a god I didn't believe in to please make my plans work.
Chapter 54
ADRIEN
Raphael had barely passed the threshold that Ila greeted him loudly, revealing his presence. I wondered how attuned she was to my feelings and needs that she always seemed to know what I wanted. I hadn't gone out of my way to get him from the station after all because he insisted I shouldn't.
When Ila meowed again, I headed to the hallway and looked at Raphaël standing there in his white sweater and black pants under a black denim jacket.
I barely gave him time to drop his suitcase when I pulled him by the collar of his sweater and kissed him—a kiss so frantic he fell into me, seeking my tongue. We made out until I had him pinned against the wall.
"Tu m'as manqué," I panted against his lips. "Tu m'as tellement manqué. I thought I might go crazy without you here."
To my surprise, he didn't reject me. His body molded into mine so perfectly. Before I could control myself, I had him facing the wall, his pants down. He nodded desperately when I asked him if he wanted me. I knelt behind him and feasted on his ass until he writhed under my tongue, begging me to fuck him. His groans shot all the way to my stiffening cock as I stood and took off my jeans, found a foil in my back pocket along with a small packet of lube, and sheathed myself.
The sound escaping his throat when I penetrated him was a sweet melody to my ears. It had been too long since I'd found my way inside him, too long since I'd felt his skin and warmth against me. Stilling for a minute, I pulled his jacket and sweater off, then mine, and pressed my chest to his back as I kissed his neck. Every slide in and out of him made me quiver with tremors seizing my core.
