by Rowan Shaw
She gave the tiniest smile. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For not making fun of me."
"Charlotte, I know many bisexuals. Trust me, we're all different. It's okay to be scared. It's okay if you just want to try and experiment. And it's okay if it turns out you're actually straight. The important thing is to be honest. If you want to experiment with that woman, you need to be upfront about your fears so she doesn't feel like you used her if it turns out fucking her wasn't for you."
She bit her lower lip. "Did you have sex with the guys again after that night I was there?"
The truth was the three of us had sex every night. I knew it wouldn't last, so I made sure to enjoy it every time.
I was about to answer when my phone beeped. "Do you mind if I check the message? It might be Nour."
"No, go ahead."
I glanced at the text, confirming it was her, and replied quickly to let her know where we were.
"You don't mind if she joins us, you're sure?" I asked, though it was a bit too late for that now. "We're going to dinner tonight too. Would you like to come along?"
Charlotte shook her head. "I need to work on my thesis, but thanks."
"I thought you needed to rest."
"I did, and going out with you really helped." A tiny smile illuminated her beautiful features as she squeezed my hand.
I gave a nod and looked into her deep, dark eyes. "Look, I know you don't want me to tell Raphaël, but I'm sure he could help."
"I'm not ready."
"I won't say anything unless you tell me to," I reassured her, returning her squeeze.
I finished my cocoa just as Nour's voice filled the café. She greeted a few people on her way to our table. Gorgeous as usual, she was wearing knee-high boots with high heels over her black leggings and a matching turtleneck sweater under her long coat. Her eyes shifted to Charlotte and never left her even as she kissed my cheeks before introducing herself.
Charlotte simply stared.
"What would you like to drink?" I asked, sending quick side glances at Charlotte, whose gaze was practically glued to Nour.
Nour checked her gold watch. "An Irish coffee would be nice. I've had the worst morning at the Center again. We need to kick Quentin out. If the director doesn't do it, I will."
"What did he do now?"
She took a seat beside me and made a face. "He's been going around the Center bragging about gays having it easy nowadays, and how homophobia is supposedly gone or some other ignorant crap. Does he even watch the news? Maybe he's delusional enough to feel safe, but trans women like me can't say the same thing. He's pissing me off, I swear."
Charlotte didn't say a single word while Nour relayed more of the latest drama from the Center before she inhaled a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Anyway, how have you been?"
"Been feeling great, actually." I cast a quick glimpse at Charlotte, who looked like she was absorbing our every word.
"I see Adrien and Raphaël have been taking good care of you. I don't see any rings of fatigue under your raccoon eyes anymore. You been sleeping better?" Nour asked.
Sleeping wasn't the first thing that came to mind when I thought about my nights with the guys. "I'll have some news for later."
"Oh really?" She turned to Charlotte, who was still strangely quiet. "I'm sorry. I just barged in here ranting about all that stuff at the Center. I didn't mean to ruin the mood. Would you like anything else to drink, beauté? I'll treat."
I didn't know it was possible for Charlotte to flush any more than she already did, but her cheeks turned a deep scarlet.
"I..." she croaked. "I need to go, actually. Maybe some other time."
When she seemed ready to reach for her wallet and pay for her coffee, I grabbed her wrist. "I'll cover it, don't worry."
She stood to her feet and grabbed her coat, then thanked me before nearly flying out the door. She didn't even kiss us goodbye.
"I didn't scare her off, did I?" Nour asked.
Not sure how to answer, I turned to her and grabbed her hand, beaming.
"I had a threesome with Adrien and Raphaël," I let out, not wanting to dwell on Charlotte's strange behavior.
Her eyes bugged out. "Well, well, well, you definitely know the meaning of the word rebound. I want to know everything."
Chapter 16
NOAH
Nour listened while I relayed every detail.
"You look ravishing today, by the way," I changed the subject when I was done babbling about my torrid nights.
Green shadows surrounded her beautiful dark brown eyes, reinforcing their vibrancy, and her naturally tanned skin was perfect even when bare of foundation. Her lips were outlined in deep red, and her long hair was held high in a ponytail swinging over her shoulders every time she moved her head.
"Well, thank you," she said and crossed her legs at the knees. "That jackass at the Center would probably say otherwise."
"Who cares what he thinks?"
As if on cue, two men from another table gave her a long look, checking her out. She wriggled her fingers at them but stopped smiling when they shot me a dirty glare. I was used to guys sneering at my style. Many straight men saw me as a threat to their masculinity, while queer guys viewed me as a stereotype giving us all a bad rep. Their self-hatred and repressed misogyny made me sad, really. I dressed as I pleased and behaved as I saw fit. If people had a problem with that, they could go breathe down somebody else's neck. I wasn't about to change who I was just to appease complete strangers.
Nour's face closed off when the guys gave me a few more dark looks. "Assholes," she hissed.
"Ignore them." I flicked my hand. "That's what I do."
I was used to people ogling me. You couldn't dress the way I did and expect people not to stare. I barely noticed them anymore.
Nour looked at me like she wanted to say something but was thinking twice about it.
"Is anything new? Besides the drama at the Center?" I asked because her silence was making me uncomfortable.
She narrowed her eyes and didn't reply to my question. "Did anything else happen recently? You're glowing."
I leaned back in my chair and grinned. "Ever had a foursome?" I asked, wriggling my eyebrows.
Her eyes shot wide. "No, you didn't! Another one? It's been like, what, four years since the last one? No wonder you look so cheerful. Did it involve the guys? Or was it with other people? And more importantly, why was I not invited?"
"It was Adrien, Raphaël, Charlotte, and well, me, obviously."
Nour pointed at the door. "Charlotte? That Charlotte I just met?"
"The same one." I wasn't going to hide how proud I was of my feat.
Nour kept looking at the entrance like Charlotte was still there. "Really? She seems so shy."
"Ah! I don't think so." I took a sip of my hot chocolate that was barely lukewarm at this point.
"Lucky you. She's hot! Are you two doing things on the side too?"
"No, we just did the one night with the guys." Not that I would mind having sex with Charlotte on the side.
"But you want to?" She looked at the door again.
"Who wouldn't?" I wasn't going to deny it. Watching Charlotte come undone was incredibly hot, and I wanted to make it happen again.
"I could tell you like her just from your eyes rolling all over her when she left. Does it mean you're over him?" she asked without naming Hugo.
"I can't just sweep ten years of my life under the rug like nothing happened. But I'm doing fine."
"So Adrien's been taking good care of you, huh?" she asked with a naughty smirk.
"You know him."
"Is he as good in bed as I've heard?" she asked.
"He's better than you've heard."
"Really? Because I've heard he can give his partners multiple orgasms...in a row."
"You've heard that right." To this day, Adrien was still the best lover I'd ever had. But then again, he was an expert at sex, so it figured
.
"You've been pretty selfish not inviting me to your sex parties. They're not transphobic, are they?"
"Of course not. Why would they be?" I exclaimed with a frown.
"Well, you know...some bisexuals don't like transgender people."
"That's just bullshit spread by non-bisexuals. I mean, everyone is different, but I have yet to hear a single bisexual talk shit about the trans community. And yet, listening to other queers, you'd think we're all hateful pricks. I'm sick of it." I rolled my eyes to the sky.
"So, does it mean you'll invite me to your sex parties in the future?" she asked, raising her perfectly plucked eyebrow. "I'm curious about those things I've heard about Adrien."
"What else did you hear exactly?" I wasn't comfortable with the rumors spreading about my best friend even if they sounded flattering. It wasn't anyone's business what he did in the privacy of his room or what he had done in his past.
"I heard there isn't a thing he'll say 'no' to."
"That's true...kind of. But you missed your chance. I don't think there'll be much more playtime with Adrien. He told me he wanted to be exclusive with Raphaël."
Though when that would actually happen, I wasn't sure. He was still inviting me to bed every night, and he'd made it clear I could do Raphaël on the side too if Raphaël asked for it. For guys who claimed they were ready to go mono, they sure asked me to fuck them a lot.
Nour creased her forehead. "What do you mean?"
"Adrien's going to propose to Raphaël. He told me he won't be sleeping with other people if they get married."
"Why not?" She made a face. Apparently, she thought the exact same thing I did: that the whole thing made no sense whatsoever and that being married didn't mean they should stop having fun with other people.
I shrugged. "Beats me. I don't know. But if that's what Adrien wants to do, that's his right."
"His fans will be sad," she laughed.
Adrien sure had a lot of fans, but not always the good kind. Some of them behaved like rabid bunnies on viagra or like he was a sex object rather than a person. The worst were those who hated on Raphaël and thought it was okay to use all the damn racial slurs against him. They seemed to think Adrien belonged to them too. As if strangers hating on his lover wouldn’t endear them to him.
I had my fair share of creepy fans too, but none of them had tried to follow me home the way some did with Adrien.
"Those who will mind that he's finally happy are not real fans," I said.
Nour nodded and looked me square in the face. "His boyfriend dumped him, you know?"
For a second, I was confused. "Huh?"
"Hugo... The actor dumped him."
I froze in my chair. "What? Why?"
She shrugged. "Who cares? I told you he was a cheat anyway. Hugo's been wearing horns the entire time he was dating that douche."
She let out a nasty laugh like the whole thing was hilarious. God, she truly hated him. And the whole time, I'd had no idea.
"Why are you telling me this?" I was over Hugo—or so I liked to tell myself.
"Because when he calls you, you need to hang up on his sorry ass."
I scoffed at that. "He hasn't even called to wish me a Happy New Year. Why would he call me now?"
"Well, considering he dumped you, that would have been in poor taste, don't you think?"
"I guess, but he could have checked to make sure I'm okay."
"So what will you do if he calls?" she asked, staring at me pointedly.
"I'm not planning on answering his calls. I'm moving on."
"Good." She patted my hand and flashed a smile. From anyone else, the gesture would have felt patronizing, but I knew Nour only wanted me to be happy.
"I have to go," she said and stood. "The rainbow kids are coming to the Center tomorrow afternoon. I'm in charge of planning the games for them. But we're still meeting at seven for dinner tonight, right?"
The rainbow kids were children and teens of all ages who identified as queer. Once a week, the Center offered them a safe space to meet away from judgmental bullies.
I acquiesced with a nod. I wasn't missing out on dinner with her.
Nour left some cash on the table and bent forward to kiss me on the cheeks. "Call me the next time you want to play. It's been so long since you and I were together like that. I miss your touch."
She winked at me and spun around to leave. I missed her as well. It had been a long time since I got to touch her.
Chapter 17
NOAH
I gave a satisfied smile as I sat in front of my laptop, ready to go through the material I'd just filmed. Adrien's kitchen was the perfect place for me to work. The weeks had gone by more quickly than I could keep track of. February was fast approaching, and I was still behind on everything. I needed to edit some of the videos and put it all together, but a part of me was tempted to go online and check the tabloids. Nour had told me Hugo was back with the actor. They seemed to be dating on and off, and Hugo still didn't have a clue the guy had made a cuckold out of him. I wasn't surprised; Hugo hated celebrity gossip and never followed that stuff.
With my hand on the mouse, I shook my head, refusing to succumb to the temptation. I opened the video app instead, still unable to concentrate.
The apartment was too quiet. Even Ila and Opale seemed sad their owners were gone for the day. The dog especially had been sulking since this morning, curled up in a ball on the couch. For the first time since I'd moved here, Ila actually joined me in the kitchen as if seeking my company. She was sleeping on her pillow in between long grooming sessions, where she would stretch her legs and lick her fur to full satisfaction.
I exhaled a grateful sigh when the doorbell rang and offered some distraction. I wasn't expecting anyone, but I'd made myself decent enough. I'd done the contours of my eyes with bi colors and put on a black kilt with fishnet tights as well as a black tank-top. The fabric stuck to my sweaty skin even after I'd lowered the temperature that Adrien kept too high.
I dragged my feet to the door and looked into the peephole. Though the doorman at the front desk monitored everyone entering the building, one could never be too cautious. To my relief, it was only Charlotte standing outside. As soon as I opened the door, she pushed past me without taking her shoes off, trailing some melted snow inside.
"I need to talk to you."
"Do you mind taking off your shoes?" I asked. "Adrien's gonna throw a fit. He's a real neat freak."
His maid, Thomas, usually came to do the housekeeping, but he was on a break this week, leaving me with the task of keeping the place as spotless as Adrien wanted it. Since he was still hosting me, I'd offered to do the chores—a proposition I'd regretted as soon as I realized how difficult Adrien was. Strangely, he always blamed Raphaël and me for making a mess, but I had yet to hear him accuse his Siamese cat of throwing up all those disgusting hairballs everywhere.
"Oh shit. I'm so sorry," Charlotte exclaimed, noticing the trail she'd dragged through the hallway. "Where's the mop? I'll clean it up."
"It's fine. I'll do it later. Why are you in such a rush? Is everything okay? Actually, you know what? Keep your shoes on. Let's go out. I need to take Opale for a walk."
The dog stopped moping as soon as she heard her name. She nearly flew like a bullet to the hallway, running so fast, she slid on Charlotte's wet tracks and nearly ended up head first in the door.
"She's so silly." I shook my head and bent over to tie her leash, then put on my platform boots before sliding into a sweater and grabbing my trench coat.
Charlotte sized me up. "You're going out like this?"
"Yes, why?"
"Oh, nothing."
I narrowed my eyes. "People will stare at me no matter how I dress, Charlotte. They've been staring at me since I was five years old and deemed me too effeminate to be a 'real' boy."
"Your parents did that?" she asked.
"No, my parents are cool. But my grandparents and other family members, not so much.
Some of my uncles are extremely toxic."
"I'm sorry."
I shrugged. "Who cares what they think?"
I grabbed a couple of bags from the kitchen cabinet to pick up Opale's mess during our walk and passed Charlotte on the way out. "Ready?"
"Aren't her paws going to get cold in the snow?"
"I don't know, but she needs to get out. I forgot to take her on a walk yesterday and found a nice surprise in the kitchen. Don't tell Adrien. He'll freak. Apparently, she tends to leave presents like that around the apartment anytime Raphaël leaves for more than a few hours, and Adrien gets mad whenever it happens. I don't need them arguing about the dog again." I grabbed the little sweater Raphaël had bought for Opale and Velcroed it around her chest. "Here, she won't get cold."
Charlotte smirked and followed me out.
The wind froze my face as soon as we stepped out of the building. I gathered the collar of my trench coat around my neck and treaded down the streets. The ground was covered with a few centimeters of snow. Everyone around us seemed in a rush to get back to a warm place, including the drivers trying to make it through the traffic chaos.
The salivating smells filtering through the air made my stomach growl when we passed a pastry shop. "Would you be super kind and get me a chausson aux pommes?" I asked Charlotte. "I was so busy, I forgot to grab lunch. I can't get in with the dog."
I searched my back pocket for some cash, but she stopped me. "I'll treat. You got me coffee the other day."
She disappeared inside and came back with my chausson aux pommes and a millefeuille for herself. I watched as she tore the paper from around her pastry and opened her mouth wide to bite into it. My mind shot right into the gutter as I watched her push the large pastry past her lips. I remembered distinctively how they'd felt when circling my dick. I shook my head, but the image didn't dissipate until Opale jumped on my legs, begging for some food and whining when we ignored her and proceeded to walk.
"She's so spoiled," Charlotte commented.
"Adrien hates it when she begs like this."
"Well, it is annoying."
