Kinard Mythology Anthology Volume III

by Kinard Middle School

                

  Joe, Bob, and the Over Descriptive, Incredible, Long and Boring Title to the Best, Most Awesome Myth/Story in the History of the Modern World.

  By: Jackson

  In a land where all people were immortal, a fine land where fruit-bearing plants grew plentifully, and animals roamed freely, there were two people, named Joe and Bob.

  Joe was very short, fat, and smart, with blonde hair and blue eyes, while Bob was tall and strong, but not very smart, with black hair and red eyes. They both worshipped the king god, Zeus, who would always sit in Olympus watching Joe and Bob, and all the other humans.

  One day, Joe and Bob were making their daily chicken sacrifices, when Joe started thinking out loud. ”Since we’re immortal, couldn’t we be worshipped by whatever gods we wanted?” “Ya Joe!” shouted Bob,” that sounds like a great idea!”

  The next day, Joe handed out thick, long, and very descriptive flyers on the best ways to worship the new gods, Joe and Bob, while Bob was attempting to build two Joe and Bob shaped temples, but Bob isn’t very smart, so there was a high chance that the temples would collapse.

  A day later, Joe and Bob were sitting, with other humans making sacrifices to them, when an old soothsayer came into Joe’s temple and began to speak in an old, raspy voice,”there is a prophecy that was spoken by Zeus when he was only a few thousand years old. It goes something like this. When the moon is hit by an asteroid for the trillionth time, the most arrogant and stupid of the humans will make themselves gods, and either destroy all gods, or be destroyed themselves.” Joe called for his guards, who threw the old man out, onto the street.

  After the old man was gone, Joe began to wonder, was it worth the risk to attempt to destroy all other gods? Joe conferred his idea with Bob, argued on what to do, but they agreed on one thing, and they exited their temples and shouted, “THEGODSMUSTBEDESTROYED!”

  Up on mount Olympus, the highest civilization in the universe, the gods realized the seriousness of the problem. There were many solutions to this problem, but when the gods voted, the choice chosen was unanimous. They all agreed that Joe and Bob must die.

  The gods, along with Joe and Bob met at the foot of mount Olympus to battle. Zeus was the first to strike. When Joe wasn’t looking, Zeus struck him and he was turned into a pile of ashes. Bob saw this happen and yelled the smartest thing he could think of, which just happened to be,”IMMA KIL U!” But when Bob charged the gods, they just blasted him into a pile of ashes too.

  After this horrible dilemma, the gods, back on Olympus, decided that humans had too much power as immortals, and decided that all humans must stay mortal forever, and with a loud BOOM!, and a clap of thunder, all humans were mortal.

  But the gods still had two problems remaining, one being the amount of humans, the other being what the humans would think when they started dying randomly. So, the gods decided to wipe the minds of all humans, and force them to make one human sacrifice to every single god and titan, once a day, for 1000 years.

  The Drum

  By: Dylan Tingey

  In ancient, darkest Africa, there lived a young man named Makuno Detumbo who was regarded as one of the most gifted and skilled blacksmiths and wood artisans in Africa. He respected masterly Hephaestus, the Greek god of the forge and fire, and Hephaestus regarded Makuno as one of his favorite and best blacksmiths.

  Hephaestus was not the only god that admired Makuno, Apollo was also interested in this young man. Apollo, the Greek god of music and light, watched Makuno worship the gods every day in the morning and at night, Makuno also often made and offered sculptures, armor, and weapons for the gods. Only Apollo knew that Makuno had a passion for music. He had made many instruments using his metal and wood skills. He had hid this from his friends and family because he was nervous that they would think less of him.

  Just like his fellow villagers, he was very broad in stature, it seemed as if he were built to wield large tools. Since he spent most of his time forging and working, he almost always reeked of smoke and sweat. Although he could have easily wielded a 20 pound hammer, he was a man of few words that let his deeds speak for themselves. He was very humble, this trait came from him living in a small village called Simunye. Simunye resided on the southeast coast of Lake Victoria. The village had an extensive town square where most of the people had spent their time. The air was always filled with the stench of cattle or the meat from the cattle. You could taste ash in the air. Makuno had hated the smell of cattle.

  Makuno had ebony skin which could be comparable to the ebony wood he used in his creations. Unlike his family, his eyes were piercing, yet were a soothing baby blue. He had a strong chin and nose, and he was the only person in his village who chose to have his dark hair cut very short, almost to the scalp. Makuno was not only considerate to the gods, he respected other townspeople as if they were his own family. Many young women would have gladly married him not only for his looks, but for his respectful manner that he always exhibited.

  He had lived on his own in a modest hut which was next to his outdoor forge. His forge  consisted of a large fire pit for heating up the metal and a large metal anvil for sculpting. His favorite and most prized tool was his 20 pound hammer for which he made his best masterpieces.

  Many of the villagers and children had often observed Makuno as he worked on his job of forging weapons and armor for the village warriors. Makuno knew he wanted to leave one day and go to Greece to make sculptures and instruments. But he knew it was a hopeless ambition. What he didn’t know was that the gods had been watching over him.

  A couple of years had passed when Apollo decided to visit Africa, specifically Simunye. As Apollo flew from over the sea and land he saw that the people were not worshipping. He was as curious as he was enraged that they did not worship the gods as they should. Apollo knew he had to fix it and found himself in the village of Jericho. He flew down in the village square in front of the village people.

  The people were as frightened as they were confused and fell to the ground.

  Apollo forcefully asked the question,” Why are you not worshipping myself and the other gods?!”

  An elderly woman wearing a traditional dress finally stepped forward and yelled, “You and the gods have forgotten us! You have not protected us, you have not blessed us, and you have treated us as wild beasts!”

  Apollo was insulted by the outburst of the woman, he was surprised that the women would say such a thing in the presence of a god. He also secretly respected the woman for standing up to a god. Apollo being the selfish and short-tempered god he was, he flew off leaving a crater where he was standing and knocking the people of the village back twenty feet. Now Apollo wasn’t angry any longer, he was infuriated.

  “What are they doing not worshipping?!?” Apollo spouted off to himself repeating his earlier question. He immediately went down to the village of Simunye, his intended location, to Makuno, who he had not yet met, who he supposed he could trust with the subject.

  By this time Makuno had developed a beard in resemblance to Hephaestus’ in his honor. The beard Makuno was growing clearly made him look like a man and a blacksmith. Apollo found him at his forge with some of the villagers. Makuno had finally gotten used to the fact that the villagers had been watching him.

  When Makuno saw the deity, he immediately fell to his knees followed by the rest of the villagers. Makuno’s mind raced with reasons why he could possibly be here at his forge.

  “Leave us!” Apollo had demanded the villagers. The villagers fled to their homes. One of the villagers had tripped on a tool on the ground, but quickly got up and sprinted away. Apollo shook his head and said, “Mortals. So clumsy.”

  Makuno ignored the insult and his deep gruff voice sputtered,” Apollo, why are you here? What have I done wrong?”

  “You have not done anything worth my wrath. I have come to you to ask you what has happened to your people, and why they do not worship,” Apollo had stated concealing his anger wh
ile his white robe flew in the wind.

  Makuno hesitated, “They believe that you- the other gods-have forgotten about us and so they think that the gods don’t deserve their offerings.” Apollo just blinked at him. Apollo hadn’t expected Makuno to tell him the truth. Even Makuno was surprised that he had told a god a truth like that.

  Makuno was relieved when Apollo started to talk, it relieved the tension of the situation.

  “You remain faithful to me and the gods then?” Apollo questioned anxiously. He already knew the answer.

  “Of course, why wouldn’t I?” Makuno didn’t have to lie, he always worshiped the gods, morning and evening, just like he was supposed to.

  Apollo was satisfied with Makuno’s response. Apollo thanked Makuno for his services, then flew off leaving Makuno still amazed. Apollo had decided to go back to Mount Olympus to find help to figure out how to solve the problem with the villagers.

  Once Apollo arrived to Olympus he called for Zeus, the god of lightning and the heavens, Hephaestus, and Poseidon, the god of the oceans and earth. Once all of them met in the Great Hall, the discussion began.

  Zeus was just woken from a nap, and he was very irritated, “What you called us here for better be important.”

  “I have a sword I have to get to Ares!” Hephaestus added. Poseidon didn’t say anything.

  Apollo remained level-headed, “Why I have called you great gods here is because I have visited Africa,” they waited in anticipation, “the people do not worship us anymore, they think we have forgotten them.”

  This suddenly got Zeus’ attention, and he was offended, “What?!? Why have you not fixed this?” When Poseidon came, he had looked bored, yet at that moment, he was very intrigued with the situation, almost amused.

  “I was hoping I could have counsel with all of you to find an easy solution,” Apollo said hoping they would help. “Poseidon,” Poseidon looked over towards Apollo, “I have summoned you here because I want you to shake the Earth when it is time for the people to worship.”

  “Wouldn’t that put an impression on the people that we are punishing them?” Hephaestus inquired, he was very logical.

  “Well, aren’t we? They are not worshipping us!” Apollo asked, there was annoyance evident in his voice.

  “They are not the ones to blame, we are. We have only neglected them,” Zeus said, this remark surprised all of the gods present. Apollo was still annoyed.

  “What if the people had a competition to create and make an instrument or sound-maker to imitate Poseidon’s earthshaking, that way the people will know when they have worship,” Hephaestus stunned them as he ended his suggestion.

  “Well, I guess that ends the problem and this conversation. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to resume my nap,” Zeus said as he got up and walked out of the chamber. And with that, Apollo left for Africa.

  Apollo had gathered the people of Simunye and representatives from other villages in Africa. In the town square of Simunye, the people looked anxious to hear what this great god had gathered them for.

  Apollo appeared before them in ceremonial clothing. He wore a white robe with gold trim. He had a turquoise medallion around his neck, and his long blonde hair was neatly tied up into a bun. The people looked at him in amazement. He started to speak.

  “Because of your insolence and arrogance towards the gods...” Apollo paused to cause more tension and anxiousness, “It seems as though we must have a competition.”

  The people were more confused than they were nervous, they hadn’t expected the god to say that a competition was in order.

  “You have chosen to not worship the gods the time you are supposed to, so we will have a competition to create an instrument or other sound-producing device that can imitate the great Poseidon’s earthshaking so you may know when to make offerings or pray to the gods and myself.” Apollo was looking very proud as if he was the god who came up with the idea.

  “How long will we have to make our creations?” an older man asked, he looked very excited.

  Apollo thought for a moment then he answered, “You mortals will have three days to complete the task.” The crowd was both excited and worried, they did not believe that they could build something to imitate Poseidon’s earthshaking in three days. But they acknowledged and welcomed the challenge anyway.

  As Apollo went on his way to Olympus the people started talking and going to their workplaces and homes to begin their creations to imitate the earthshaking of Poseidon.

  By the time the day had gone by, all of Africa had known of this competition, and young and old, rich and poor, started to join into the competition. But there was one person who didn’t think of this as just another competition, he thought that this could be an opportunity to change his life. That person was Makuno Detumbo.

  Makuno had been inspired by the Thud! Thud! and the Clang! Clang! of his mighty hammer when swung onto the hot metal, he noticed that it sounded like earthshaking and thunder. It got him thinking, if he could create a object that he could pound on with his hammer, he could make it sound like earthshaking. He got to work.

  He slaved every day. Makuno, using his wood artisan skills, made a cylindrical barrel, with the middle bulging out a little, it was about four feet tall. The barrel did not have a top, Makuno meant to do this. He had a piece of thin animal skin that he draped over the top of the barrel, he kept it down by securing it with nails. He forged some nails, rivets, and trim with the Damascus, a piece of steel that is made to have wavy patterns, and hammered on the trim, nails, and rivets every six inches horizontally from the top to the bottom. Makuno built wooden mallets reinforced with Damascus rivets to pound on the barrel. It was a true work of art what this large and intimidating man created.

  Three days passed from the time Apollo had told the people about the competition. It was time to showcase the creations to Apollo. Every inventor, dreamer, and artisan that lived in Africa arrived to the village square with their creations. Makuno had carried the barrel and the two mallets on his back all the way to the square, so he hurriedly put down his creation to relieve himself of the weight. As Makuno caught his breath he looked around and saw just how many people had gathered, there were hundreds.

  “Wish me luck Hephaestus,” Makuno told himself, to calm down even though it didn’t help.

  As Apollo appeared he started to speak,” Let me remind you why we are having this competition. You all have stopped worshipping the gods, which means you had to create something to imitate the earthshaking of Poseidon so you would know when to worship. All right, you may begin.”

  Apollo took his throne which the people had created, it was layered with the rarest jewels and gems. The creators started to make a line to wait for their turn. As the inventors started to show Apollo what they had created, Makuno was feeling nervous.

  As the day wore on Apollo still hadn’t deemed a winner, he seemed bored as he sat on the glorious throne. He waved off three-fourths of the contestants.

  It was Makuno’s turn. As he stepped in front of Apollo, he started to feel sick. Though he had practiced his instrument many times at his home, he didn’t prepare for the audience he was performing in front of. Makuno took a deep breath, he steadfastly held his mallets. He had started to play. Makuno hit the barrel with perfect rhythm and beat. Makuno had pounded the side of the barrel while simultaneously hitting the animal skin which reverberated the inside of the barrel making the sound echo and sound even more like earthshaking. His hands moving in a blur from switching from the side of the barrel to the animal skin on top. Apollo looked up in interest as he saw Makuno play. It seemed to Apollo that the instrument had a connection to Makuno and vice versa. All of the village people and contestants were mesmerized at the display. Makuno’s secret passion for music was finally shown to the people that day.

  Makuno finished playing his instrument, he was out of breath and sweating. Apollo was speechless, so were his friends and family. Everyone just stood watching for a couple minutes. Ma
kuno was worried they didn’t like the music.

  When Apollo was able to speak, he barely got the words out, “What-What do you call it, the thing you just played?”

  “I call it a drum” Makuno said proudly.

  Apollo stood and looked at Makuno, “Well, Makuno, you and your drum,” he paused, “have just won this competition.” No one had said anything for a second, then the silence was broken by an uproar of cheers. Even those who had been rejected or didn’t get a chance to try ran up to Makuno and congratulated him. Makuno was smiling from ear to ear. He had looked over at Apollo who just nodded. The people had put Makuno on their shoulders, although they had trouble getting him up there. The rest of the day was filled with celebration. The center of it all was Makuno, he was uncomfortable at first, but got used to it. He enjoyed himself. He hadn’t seen Apollo since he had told him he had won. He wondered if he went back to Olympus.

  As the celebrations were coming to an end, Apollo had appeared before Makuno. Everyone was waiting for what the god would tell Makuno. The tension was palpable.

  Apollo opened his mouth and spoke, his voice was soft, “Makuno Detumbo, it is the will of the gods of Mount Olympus to bestow the title and authority on you of Chief of Worship,” Cheers came from the people.

  Makuno waited until they were done, “What exactly is my responsibility?”

  “You will play your drum when it is the desired time to worship, that will most always be in the morning and at night,” Apollo replied. Makuno was honored. He never thought that he would have such a responsibility.

  Years had passed and Makuno was one of the most important people in Africa. He was highly regarded by the gods and given many riches and goods. Yet he chose to stay in his home of Simunye. There, he met a beautiful young women named, Daya. They married and had children and lived cheerfully for the rest of their lives.

  Even today, you can hear his majestic drumming resounding from the African plains, jungles, and deserts. Drums have changed form and sound, yet they are all based off of the masterpiece that Makuno Detumbo made in his little forge and home.