Free to Heal
Page 4
“I can’t.”
“Just think about it and pray about it,” Faith said. “We’ll give it six months, until the end of the time that you have to abide by the rules of the program, since we can’t travel that far to the orphanage until after that time anyway. It will also give the girls time to get accustomed to the way things are now before we go introducing more changes. They’ve already gone through a lot in a short period of time. They need to adjust.”
Kane agreed, but silently hoped it wasn’t Faith’s way of putting things off instead of telling him no. It didn’t matter how much she hoped to change his mind about having a child, or children, with her—he wouldn’t do it and had no intention of praying about it either. She and the girls had already worked their way into his heart. He hugged her close. It was his place to protect her, even if it meant making sacrifices.
CHAPTER NINE
One month later…
Faith took the blackberry pie out of the oven and quickly set it down on the table. Rushing for the back door, she ran outside and got sick. She’d felt fine earlier and even had been hungry for something sweet. What a terrible time to come down ill. At least Kane and the girls would enjoy the dessert she’d made, along with the stew. Even thinking of food made her queasy. She walked over to the well and pumped the handle until water came out, splashing some on her face. Cupping her hand to hold a little of the cool liquid, she took a couple of sips to rinse the bad taste from her mouth.
“What’s wrong?”
She jumped at the sound of Kane’s voice. A faint smile was all she could muster. “I’ll be fine. I think I’m just coming down with something.”
Concern etched his chiseled features. He wrapped an arm around her waist. “Let’s get you back inside.” His voice was soft and soothing as he guided her back into the house. “We will go visit Doc if you are not feeling better tomorrow.”
“I am sure I’ll be fine.” Faith kissed his cheek.
“Why don’t you lie down, and I will finish supper?” Kane helped her get situated in bed. “I’ll be back to check on you in a little while. We’ll see if you’re up to eating anything later.”
♥ ♥ ♥
Her eyes fluttered, taking in the soft glow of the lantern. Faith stirred in her groggy state, and she pressed her back closer to her husband who had an arm draped over her. As she lay there, she remembered earlier events. She’d taken the pie out of the oven and came to rest because she’d gotten sick. What about dinner? Her eyes widened and she sprung up to a sitting position in bed. “The girls?”
“They’re fine,” Kane said. “They’ve already had dinner and I put them to bed over an hour ago.”
Taking a calming breath did little to squelch the irritation she felt at having missed time with her daughters. She was always there to put them to bed, always—except tonight. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
“I tried.” He reached up to touch her face and stroke her jaw, but she turned her head away.
A tinge of guilt knotted her stomach. Faith laid back down on her side, her back turned toward Kane. Moisture filled her eyes. She wanted to cry, but didn’t know why. Her husband said he tried, and she believed him. Although her mind was foggy, she faintly remembered him mumbling something to her and feeling her forehead. Faith touched her own hand to her head—she didn’t have a fever, and she wasn’t nauseated any more.
“I’m sorry.” Faith’s apology was soft spoken, but given the quiet of the house, and Kane putting his arm around her again, she knew he’d heard her. She swallowed the lump in her throat, willing herself not to cry. “I don’t know what came over me. I have been so tired and moody lately.”
Kane squeezed her, but didn’t say a word.
She turned over in bed to face him. From under furrowed brows, blue eyes stared into hers. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want to lose you.” Kane drew her closer and buried his head in her shoulder.
“You won’t lose me.” She wanted to laugh that he’d even think she’d leave him because she was upset. Did he fear that she’d send him back to jail? Faith leaned her head back and caressed his face. “You’re my husband now, and nothing will change that.”
His eyes misted, but he didn’t say anything. Something deeply pained him. Memories of his first wife?
“Please tell me what’s bothering you, Kane.”
“I…” He closed his eyes and exhaled. His breath sent a warm chill across her face. “I think you’re pregnant.”
Every muscle in her body went rigid. Her eyes widened and she blinked several times. “I’m…” She couldn’t be, could she? “But we only made love the one night. I can’t be pregnant. Can I?”
Her words were more spoken questions to herself, than a request of his thoughts on the matter as her mind tried to reason things out. Even though they had only been intimate the one night, she had not had any of the normal signs that indicated she wasn’t with child. But if she was pregnant, or even if he thought she was, it explained his concern.
“You don’t need to worry, Kane.” Faith kissed his cheek. “If we are going to have a baby, I will be all right.”
“I don’t want you to die.” Kane’s voice was husky. “I can’t go through that again.”
“No one gets to choose whether they will live or die, but we can’t live life as if we are doomed,” Faith said. “Otherwise, you’ll never enjoy the life you do have, and you can’t be afraid to even love someone for fear you’ll lose them—because you’ve already lost them. I’m here, now, and I love you, Kane—I love you.”
His lips pressed down on hers. It wasn’t a kissed of hunger, or desire, but of need—an all-consuming need to be close.
“I love you, Faith.” Kane kissed her again. “Always and forever.”
EPILOGUE
Eight months later…
Sheriff Daniels had gone to get Doc. Thankfully, Josie had stopped by with Coralie to see how Faith was doing, or Kane would have been alone with Faith and the girls. Coralie was keeping an eye on Hope and Gracie in the other room.
Kane squeezed Faith’s hand as she groaned in pain from yet another birthing pain. They were coming quite frequent, and fast. The only other woman he had been around during this process was his first wife—and that didn’t end so well. By how frequent the pain was, Kane didn’t think Faith would make it until the doctor arrived. He stroked Faith’s face while offering soothing words.
He looked at Josie, hoping she had reassurance to give, but instead he saw concern. Perhaps part of her fear stemmed from the fact that she herself would be going through child bearing come spring. Lots of women had babies and lived. Faith had pointed that out to him a lot during her pregnancy, every time they saw a child. It had begun to reassure him at the time, but now, his anxiousness grew.
Praying silently, Kane pleaded with God to spare his wife and child. Surely God couldn’t be cruel enough to let this happen to him again.
“You’re doing good, Faith,” Josie said. “But I don’t think this little one is going to wait for the doctor. Do you want to help, Dad?”
Josie looked at him and his stomach dropped clear through to his knees, or so it felt. The room swayed a little. He swallowed the lump in his throat and gagged. “I’m fine. You do it.” His voice squeaked from the strain. “Do you need more sheets or something? I can get them.”
There was already some on the bed, ready for use, but Kane didn’t know what else he could do. If he tried to help bring his child into the world, he was likely to pass out, and if anything happened—he’d never forgive himself.
Faith moaned louder than before. His gaze darted to her face.
“Okay, Faith, you’re going to have to push. I can see the baby’s head.” Josie expelled a deep breath, shook her head, and braced herself in position. When Faith had another birthing pain, Josie urged her to push. “A couple more. Come on, Faith, you can do it.”
Kane’s heart pounded in his chest. If he could push, he’d push. He’d do anythi
ng, if he just knew what to do.
“Come on, sweetheart, you can do it.” He squeezed her hand and bent over to kiss the top of her head.
Faith smiled faintly at him and nodded. She ground out a loud moan and pushed.
“He’s here,” Josie shouted, and then a cry rang out.
Kane chanced a glance, still holding on to his wife. A son. His son. Pride and relief both welled up in his chest, making him feel he could burst with joy. He looked at his wife. Her face was etched with relief and exhaustion, but she didn’t appear to be in any danger. He uttered a prayer of thanksgiving.
A little over nine months ago, he’d been a widower, desolate and in jail. The law, and God, had given him a second chance with the Freedom Bride program. Because of that, his life and his outlook had changed. He was married, and happy beyond belief, something he thought he’d never feel again.
Josie wrapped the baby in a blanket and handed him to Kane.
He smiled at his son, who was trying to gnaw on his little fist. “What should we name him?”
“Jason.” Faith reached up and touched her son’s tiny hand. “It means healer. All our past pain had been healed and we have been blessed with him.”
“Jason it is, young man.” Kane kissed his son’s head before handing him to Faith. The sight of her nourishing their newborn son filled Kane with a feeling of completeness. Now there was only one thing left to do—tell Gracie and Hope their new brother, Jason, had arrived. They would be anxious to meet him.
Dear Reader,
I love talking about stories with other people, so it made it even more exciting getting to plot this novelette series with my good friend, Leah. We hope that you are continuing to enjoy the Texas Wildflowers series.
The Freedom Brides program is a complete figment of our imaginations, and, as far as we can tell, there were no similar programs. However, it does make for a great story and would have been a beneficial program at that time! The women in our stories are brave and independent, but live in a time and place where a husband was often a necessity. That won’t stop these ladies, though. If they have to marry to get what they want, they’ll find a way to make it work!
Until next time,
Susette
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All of Susette’s Books
Mail Order Brides novelette series~
JESSIE’S BRIDE –Book 1
MONTANA’S BRIDE –Book 2
CALEB’S BRIDE –Book 3
MARSHALL’S BRIDE–Book 4
HUSBAND OF THE BRIDE–Book 5
Texas Wildflowers novelette series~
FREE TO LOVE –Book 1
FREE TO HEAL –Book 2
FREE TO PROTECT –Book 3
FREE TO SERVE –Book 4
FREE TO ROAM –Book 5
FREE TO FORGIVE –Book 6
The Amish Ways novelette series~
THE WIDOWER’S NEW WIFE –Book 1
ROAD TO REDEMPTION –Book 2
Seasons of the Heart novella series~
FALLING IN LOVE – Book 1
WINTER CHILL – Book 2
SPRING BREAK – Book 3
HEATED SUMMER – Book 4
Maid for Murder series ~
Maid for Murder: DEADLY BUSINESS – Book 1
Maid for Murder: DEADLY CONFESSIONS – Book 2
The 12 Mysteries of Christmas ~
IN THE NICK OF TIME – Book 1
STARR WITNESS – Book 7
Novellas ~
ACCIDENTAL MEETING
SCROOGE FALLS IN LOVE – Typecast Christmas series
SHADOWS OF DOUBT
MORE THAN FRIENDS
LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE
A STITCH IN TIME
GATEWAY TO THE WEST – Thanksgiving Books & Blessings series
Novels~
SOMETHING ABOUT SAM
HONORABLE INTENTIONS
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