Out of the Picture

by Tracy Gardner

  Savanna took in the room from her safe observer’s spot in the corner; she still felt a little like an outsider here, having been gone so long. She wasn’t sure how to dress for this, so she’d chosen what she’d be comfortable in: dark, form-fitting jeans, black leather boots, and a soft, fuzzy black V-neck sweater. She’d added the necklace her parents had given her when she’d graduated college: a delicate gold compass on a fine chain. No side pony or messy bun tonight—she’d actually had time to dry it, and it fell to the middle of her back.

  Looking around, she’d done okay; she was neither under nor overdressed. Most of Carson was in jeans and sweatshirts or jackets, a few of the women in skirts or dresses. She spotted the silent auction tables and the yoga station, where Sydney’s friend Kate was conducting a mini class with a handful of kids and one good-natured adult. No Sydney yet.

  “Ms. Shepherd!”

  Savanna jumped, startled, as a little girl threw herself at the mesh wall, bouncing off and landing in the center of the bounce house.

  The girl hopped back over to Savanna, pressing her little face into the mesh and grinning. “Hi Ms. Shepherd!”

  Savanna laughed, putting her hand against the girl’s through the mesh. “Hello, Zoey! Are you having fun?”

  “Yes!” Zoey shouted before pushing off and rolling to the other side, giggling wildly. Second grade, Wednesdays and Fridays, Savanna remembered. The girl was exactly the same in her classroom. She was so joyful, Savanna could never be irritated with her.

  “Auntie Vanna, watch!”

  The next ten minutes were spent watching all of Nolan’s amazing superhero moves; he demonstrated bounce house Spiderman, Batman, Buzz Lightyear, Thor, and Wonder Dog for Savanna until he was sweaty and worn out. She helped him slither limply out of the mouse hole and get his shoes back on, brushing his damp bangs back and planting a kiss on his forehead.

  “So. Thirsty.” Nolan panted, clutching his throat.

  She scooped him onto one hip and carried him to the food and drink tables they’d passed on the way in. “Apple juice box and a water, please,” she told the woman handling the money at the end of the line once they had their hot dogs and chips.

  “Savanna Shepherd. I heard you were back!”

  Savanna shifted Nolan, who had his tongue hanging out of his mouth, one chubby little hand thrown dramatically across his forehead, and did a double take, staring at her best friend from high school. She wore her hair short now, and glasses had replaced contacts, but Savanna would have known her instantly. “No way. Mary?”

  “Oh my gosh.” The woman across the table from her squealed, reaching over to hug her, whining toddler between them and all.

  “Here, honey, I’m sorry.” Savanna popped the straw in the juice box and held it for Nolan so he wouldn’t spill it. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in…I don’t even know. Has it really been ten years?”

  “Longer. At least eleven, I think. Savanna, you look fantastic. The same as the last time I saw you! And you have a baby!”

  Nolan scowled at this woman who’d just insulted him. “Not a baby!”

  Savanna gave him a little squeeze. “Nope, not a baby at all. You’re a big boy, Nolan.”

  Mary held out a chocolate chip cookie, a conciliatory gesture. “Here you go, buddy. You’re definitely not a baby, I’m sorry. Only big boys can have these cookies. But you have to eat your hot dog first,” she warned. “I have three,” she told Savanna. “Two girls and a boy. He’s just adorable. Not adorable,” she backtracked, smiling at Nolan. “Handsome. A very handsome boy.”

  “Thank you! I can’t take credit—he isn’t mine. This is my nephew. He’s Skylar’s son.” She bent to set him down. “I think we’re going to need another juice box. We’ll grab that table right there, Nolan. We have to catch up. I really miss you!”

  Savanna remembered senior year, when she and Mary had planned their classes so they’d both have seventh period free. Mary’s parents had bought her a convertible for her birthday that year, and it had been perfect for the quick ride to the beach. They’d beat everyone else to the Lake Michigan dunes most days, claiming the best spot, close enough to the waves but far enough to stay dry—until Sydney and her friends had shown up and somehow always convinced them to go in. Syd had always traveled in a pack, an abundance of friends, both boys and girls; Savanna had been content with a few close friends. Boy, they’d had a lot fun. How had a decade gone by?

  Mary gave Savanna another quick hug, returning to her cash box and the growing line of people waiting. “Come back when the line dies down. I want your number!”

  Savanna called over her shoulder, “I will!” She followed Nolan and set him up with a hot dog and chips, dropping the extra juice box and cookie into her purse and taking her seat next to him.

  Nolan tapped her hand. “Auntie Vanna.”

  “Yes, honey?”

  “That lady gave me the cookie.”

  She was confused for a moment, and then understood. “Of course she did! I was just holding onto it for you, for later.”

  Nolan bumped her arm with his head. “That’s what Daddy says about candy.”

  She laughed. “Oh, my. You’re so smart.” She took the cookie and set it on the table in front on him. “But you have to do what the lady said. You have to eat your hot dog first.”

  “I know.” He sighed, rolling his eyes like he’d heard this a hundred times before, and bit into his hot dog.

  Wow, she loved this kid.

  Piano music drifted to her from somewhere in the room. It was hard to hear from where they sat, close to the bounce house, but it was nice. She spotted several of her kids from school at the carnival game booths and face painting.

  “Ms. Shepherd,” she heard whispered behind her and turned.

  “Mollie!” The little girl wore her trademark bluebird barrettes in her fine strawberry-blond hair. “Are you having fun?”

  Mollie nodded, smiling shyly at Nolan.

  Savanna looked up at the older woman who was with her; her blond hair was cut into a pretty bob, and she looked to be around sixty. Savanna held out a hand. “I’m Mollie’s art teacher from school.”

  “Mollie talks about you all the time,” the woman said, taking Savanna’s hand. “She loves your class. Oh, I’m Jean. Grandma Jean.”

  “Nice to meet you. Mollie is a wonderful artist. I’m sure you’ve seen her work.”

  “Oh, yes. We practically have a gallery on our refrigerator. And in your grandpa’s study.” Jean looked at Mollie. “He collects the bunnies she makes—drawings, paintings, clay, all of it.”

  Savanna’s heart swelled; she swore she could feel it. She was so happy this sweet girl had a loving support system that wasn’t just Aidan. No one should have to raise a child alone, and he clearly wasn’t. And on the heels of that, she sensed the sadness from the woman that must come with losing a child. Age didn’t matter. Her daughter was gone. But Mollie was obviously treasured. “Your grandpa must be a smart man. You make the best bunnies I’ve ever seen,” she told Mollie.

  She resisted the urge to ask if her dad was here. Grandma Jean was Mollie’s chaperone tonight, which meant Aidan wasn’t. Maybe he was working—called into an important surgery. Or maybe he was on a date.

  Savanna shook off the thought. She glanced at Nolan, who was polishing off the cookie. His hot dog and chips were gone. She ruffled his hair, leaning down. “Nice work, honey. Thank you for waiting until last to eat that.”

  He hopped off the bench. “I can be a tiger now?”

  Savanna grinned widely at him, standing to gather their wrappers. “You can be a tiger now!” She looked down at Mollie. “We’re going to get our faces painted, Mollie. Would you like to come? If it’s okay with your grandma?”

  “Sure, if you don’t mind,” Jean said. “We didn’t mean to intrude. You deserve your family time.”
/>   Savanna held out a hand to Mollie. Nolan was already tugging on her other one. “We don’t mind at all. Even tigers need friends.” She winked at Mollie.

  The music volume slowly increased as they headed across the ballroom to the face painting station, and Savanna saw why. A beautiful black baby grand rested near the far wall. As they moved closer and rounded the tall lid, she saw that Aidan Gallager was seated on the bench, playing his heart out.

  Savanna stood, dumbstruck, staring. She dimly registered Nolan and Mollie letting go of her to file in line.

  Wow, could he play. His head was down, hands moving deftly across the keyboard. The song she’d heard earlier was upbeat and quick; he’d slowed the tempo for this one.

  Savanna drifted closer without meaning to, her gaze going to his fingers on the keys. She’d noticed Aidan’s hands before, his long fingers, the wide grip; she’d categorized them as capable, strong doctor’s hands. Of course they were musician hands as well. She watched as his body swayed on the piano bench, just slightly, with the flow of the music. He looked at home, peaceful. In this enormous room full of people and noise and bright lights and laughing children running everywhere.

  Aidan looked up as the song neared its end and found Savanna watching him. Her breath caught in her throat and for a moment she couldn’t breathe, and she couldn’t tear her gaze away from his. Her pulse pounded in her ears.

  “Savanna,” he said, and suddenly she could breathe again.

  “Hi,” she replied, her voice coming out breathless and shaky. Her legs felt the way her voice sounded.

  He rose and crossed the ten feet or so between them, one hand smoothing the navy sweater he wore.

  She looked up at him. Something was happening in her chest, tingles, zings. No. No, Savanna. Stop this right now. Her own voice echoed in her head, the words contained there. Everything about this man was overwhelming.

  “Are you all right?” He put a hand on her upper arm; she could feel the warmth through her light sweater.

  “Auntie Vanna! I can be a tiger!” Nolan’s voice broke the spell. Savanna blinked, turning to look back at her nephew. He was sitting on the chair in front of one of the teenagers doing face painting.

  The teen boy was watching her expectantly. “Is that okay? It’s a lot of black and orange paint.”

  “Yes, totally okay.” She gave Nolan a thumbs up. “Sorry.” She turned back to Aidan, now unable to meet his eyes for more than a second or two. “You play beautifully. I had no idea,” she said quietly, looking at his left temple. Oh, no. This was bad. She always had trouble making eye contact with anyone she was attracted to. It was an infallible sign. And once she was aware of it, it just got worse.

  Aidan gave her a sheepish half-smile. “I was kind of hoping you’d show up here.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were part of the entertainment?” Where to focus her gaze? Her eyes rested for a moment on the white V of cotton at his neck, under the collar of his sweater.

  “Oh, I’m not, really. I mean, it’s only background music… The kids don’t care about it. I just enjoy playing.”

  “You’re really good. I mean, like, really good.”

  “Like, really really good?”

  She met his eyes. He was teasing her. Okay, she could overcome this. Maintain eye contact; don’t make it weird. “You keep too many secrets. Or maybe I just don’t ask enough questions.”

  “Ask away. I’m all yours.”

  Savanna opened her mouth to speak, no clue what to say. Mollie chose that moment to crawl over to them on all fours, face painted like a cat, meowing; she pawed at Aidan’s leg, circled him, and then sat down on his feet, making loud singsong meowing noises.

  He reached down and scratched her head behind her ears. “Good kitty. I seem to be trapped—there’s a cat on my feet. Someone else will have to play the piano now. Maybe Ms. Shepherd?”

  Savanna laughed. “Oh, believe me. Nobody wants that.”

  “Mollie, where’s Grandma?”

  The girl looked up at him and meowed, and then jumped to her feet. She sprinted toward her grandmother, who was crossing the room toward them. Mollie brought her Grandma Jean over to them and slipped her hand into her dad’s. “Grandma says I can spend the night at her house, Daddy, okay?”

  Aidan turned to Savanna. “Savanna Shepherd, this is Jean Beckett, my mother-in-law. Jean, my friend Savanna, Mollie’s art teacher.”

  “We met.” Jean smiled at Savanna. “Ms. Shepherd was nice enough to take Mollie for face painting.”

  “Did you really invite this schemer to spend the night?” Aidan rested a hand on top of Mollie’s head, and the girl turned in silly circles under his fingers like a music box dancer.

  “We did! Grandpa promised her bunny pancakes tomorrow morning.”

  “Shaped.” Aidan leaned down and murmured to Savanna, “Bunny-shaped pancakes. We aren’t monsters.”

  Savanna laughed. “I sort of figured.”

  “So,” Jean said, “we’ll take her with us, and bring her back after church tomorrow. Mollie, one more time in the bounce house? Are you finishing up here too, Aidan?”

  He shook his head. “I promised to play until the end, another hour.”

  “Okay,” she said, glancing again at Savanna and then back at him. “I hope you can get some rest. I know this week was a lot for you. It was nice to meet you, Ms. Shepherd.”

  Aidan gave her a hug, “Kiss Mollie good night for me, would you?”

  Jean nodded and turned to follow Mollie, who was already on her way to the bounce house.

  Savanna looked up at Aidan curiously, wondering what his mother-in-law had meant. It seemed somehow too personal for her to ask. She was still considering when Nolan came roaring up to her, in full tiger face paint. She let out a quiet little shriek and backed away, doing her best terrified impression.

  Behind Nolan, Savanna spotted Sydney, just arriving with Brad. Syd snuck up and scooped Nolan into her arms, swinging him around in a circle amid giggles and roars.

  “I’m stealing your tiger, and there’s nothing you can do stop me!” Sydney perched Nolan on her shoulders.

  “Balloons,” Nolan shouted, now at a much higher vantage point and making grabby hands at one of the carnival games across the room.

  “We have balloons to slay,” Syd told them, and took off toward the far wall with Nolan and Brad.

  Suddenly without any distractions, Savanna was tongue-tied. She dug around in her purse for gum, for something to do.

  “I should probably get back to work.” Aidan tipped his head toward the piano.

  “Sure, don’t let me stop you from doing your job.” She could go three-wheel it with Syd and her boyfriend at the balloon animal station. Fun.

  “Want to join me?”

  “What? At the piano?”

  “Come on,” he said.

  Savanna followed him, finding herself shoulder to shoulder on the small piano bench with him. “I really can’t play. I wasn’t kidding,” she warned.

  Aidan turned and grinned at her, stirring up a brand-new series of zings and tingles in Savanna’s ribcage, electric butterflies. He rested his fingers lightly on the keys, and she saw his brow furrow as he decided. The theme from Charlie Brown filled the air, a lively tune. She found it impossible not to tap her feet, marveling at Aidan’s fingers flying over the keys.

  “I love that!” She clasped her hands together, beaming at him when he finished. “You’re very diverse. Did you learn as a kid?”

  “Yes, we had to choose an instrument. My brother was so much cooler than I was, he chose guitar. We took lessons until—” he broke off. “Well, until we were twelve and fourteen, I guess.”

  “You have a brother? Younger or older?”

  “Younger. Finn.”

  “And is he still in New York?”

  “
No, he’s…well, at the moment, I’m not sure. Phoenix, I think? He’s a Med Flight paramedic. He moves around a lot, doing these temporary assignments that last six months or a year each.”

  “That sounds so cool. He doesn’t mind all the moving around?”

  “He loves it. He makes huge bonuses each time he moves, and he’s seen more of the country than I ever have.”

  “You’ve been here a while now.”

  “We love it here. It’s the best place for Mollie.”

  “Her grandparents seem really great.”

  Aidan nodded. “They are.”

  “What did your mother-in-law mean?” she asked, haltingly. “About this week? I noticed you weren’t at after school pick-up.”

  “You did?”

  Savanna shrugged, wishing she hadn’t admitted that.

  “I was gone for a cardiothoracic conference in Lansing for a couple of days. Busy week. Sad week.” He paused. “It was our tenth anniversary yesterday; I’m not sure if you know this, but my wife died two years ago.”

  Her eyes widened. It was the first she’d ever heard him say about his wife. “Oh. I’m so sorry, Aidan.”

  “Thank you.” He glanced at her. “I’m okay. I worry about Jean and my father-in-law too. They were a close-knit family. Kind of like yours.”

  “You don’t have to talk about it. I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

  “I don’t mind. Really. People are afraid to mention it, but it doesn’t change what happened. We were happy.” He looked at Savanna. “She was a great mom. Time doesn’t make the loss any easier, but it makes the edges less sharp, if that makes sense. I’m okay now. I’m good. Mollie is good. Mollie is fantastic.” He smiled.

  “Mollie is really fantastic,” Savanna agreed. She rested a hand on Aidan’s forearm. “I’m sorry that happened to your family.”

  He met her gaze, saying nothing for a moment. “Thank you.” He covered her hand for just the briefest moment, his large and warm over hers on his arm. “I appreciate that, Savanna.” He let go, resting his fingers on the keys again, head tilted, considering. “Hmm. Any requests?” He gave her a sideways glance, eyebrows raised expectantly.