Never You

by Stacy Gold

  “Apparently, it’s more competitive than I realized. Even the internships and writer-in-residence gigs are hard to get.” I stared up at the snow-covered peaks sparkling in the sun. Having nowhere to go made it even harder to leave. “If something doesn’t come through soon, I’m going to be waiting tables again.”

  “Well…on the bright side, maybe you can wait tables wherever Daniel is going.”

  “Nice thought, but no way. I’d never move somewhere just for a guy. Not unless we were serious. And Daniel’s not a serious relationship kind of man.”

  “He looked pretty serious to me.”

  Pinpricks stung my eyes. “Can we talk about this later? Please?”

  “Of course.” Taya wrapped an arm around my shoulders and grinned. “Don’t worry. Everything is going to work out fine. I can feel it.”

  “Yep. Starting with our road trip.” I wrapped an arm around her waist, glad for her support.

  “Or with the stack of mail on your counter.”

  “I appreciate the positivity, but I’m not getting my hopes up.” I steered us toward the front door. “I’m ready to shower, load the car, and hit the road.”

  ****

  I knocked on the open door of Morgan’s apartment, walked in, slipped my arms around her from behind and planted a kiss on her cheek. “Hey, babe. What can I do to help?”

  She leaned into me, letting the envelopes she’d been riffling through fall on the counter. “Mmmmmm… You’re already doing it.” Turning her head to the side she kissed my neck. I couldn’t decide which swelled more: my head, my heart, or my dick.

  “If this is what you need help with, call me anytime.”

  She nipped my neck and sucked. My balls went tight. I turned her around in my arms and kissed her for all I was worth. She plastered her hot body against mine and kissed me back, full force.

  Fuck. I don’t want to let her go.

  “Ahem.”

  I cupped the back of her head, making sure she didn’t stop. No way was I letting anything, or anyone, interrupt this. I needed Morgan to know how much I wanted her. How special she was. And maybe, just maybe, I could convince her to take a stab at something more.

  “Ahem.”

  Morgan swept her tongue through my mouth again, nipped my lower lip, and stepped back. I groaned through gritted teeth.

  Taya stood by the couch grinning like a loon. “If you throw me your keys I’ll pull your car around.”

  “Um. Sure.” Morgan left me standing there, needy as hell, and fished in her backpack. “Here you go.” She tossed the keys to her sister.

  “Thanks.” Taya caught them with a clatter, and looked me up and down, still grinning. “Clearly one of us has stay on task or we’ll never get out of here.”

  Shit. I didn’t have much time.

  I grabbed Morgan’s hand. “So, you’re coming through Seattle at the end of your road trip, right?”

  “Yeah. To take Taya to the airport.”

  “Want to come to my Mom’s place for dinner that night? You can meet my sisters. Stay in the guest room and get a good night’s sleep…”

  Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open just a little. She closed it. “Still trying to get in my pants, huh?” The smile in her voice didn’t make it to her face.

  I let the corners of my lips flick up. “Always.”

  She placed her free hand on my chest. Her eyes met mine, the corners tight. “I don’t know, Daniel. I’m not sure we should drag this out. And I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t get much sleep.”

  She smiled, but her eyes were sad. Saddest I’d seen them.

  I wanted to make Morgan happy. Dragging this on might hurt both of us, but I didn’t believe it. We were way too good together.

  “How ‘bout just the dinner part then. Let me make you something special.” I brought her hand to my mouth and sucked on her knuckle.

  ****

  My knees went weak.

  Ridiculous.

  All he did was kiss the back of my hand and I was ready to jump in bed with him.

  “Admit it. You only want me because you can’t have me.” I smiled again, trying to take the sting out my words. “As soon as you fuck me it’ll be over.”

  “Bullshit. I’ll want you more.”

  His words shot straight to my heart. Flowed around and through it. Lifted it up and cradled it. Dammit. This man was impossible.

  More like impossible to resist.

  Shut. Up.

  “I bet you invite all the ladies home.”

  He stepped in close, until every part of him was an inch away. His mouth found my ear. “Nope. You’d be the first.”

  I told myself it was his warm breath, not the sentiment, that sent a shiver through me. “Then isn’t it a little soon to bring me home to meet the family?”

  He curved one arm around me and drew me in until our torsos joined. The fingers of his free hand stroked my cheek like I was delicate. Breakable.

  “No way.” He dropped his lips to mine, his kiss tender and soft. “They’re going to like you as much as I do.”

  He pulled back a few inches and gazed at me. His eyes wide. His face soft. Like I was the most amazing thing on earth. “Totally up to you, though. No pressure.”

  Nervous laughter bubbled out of my chest. “Right. Be the first woman to come home to meet my mom and sisters. No pressure at all.”

  He threw his head back and laughed, exposing the corded muscles in his neck. “Okay. Maybe a little pressure.” He wove his fingers into mine and brought my hand to his lips again, smiling. “I don’t want to add any more, but no way am I ready to say goodbye.”

  With that look in his eye, and his mouth on my skin, he was harder to say no to than fresh powder on a bluebird sunny day. I took a deep breath and forced myself to say the words I knew I should say. “I’m not ready to say goodbye either. But I don’t think it would work out.”

  His lips pinched together. I squeezed his hand and stepped back, needing some distance or I’d end up kissing him again. Because I could kiss him forever, especially if it would take that pained look off his face.

  “I’m willing to try to make it work if you are. Because I—”

  “Are you two lovebirds ready to load the car? We should get on the road soon.”

  I startled and snatched my hand out of his. “Um, yeah. Sure. Daniel, can you carry those boxes out for me?”

  He stood silent for a second, then his face relaxed and he leaned in and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “Sure thing, beautiful.”

  “Thanks.” I walked back to the counter and picked up the mail, ignoring the way his biceps flexed around the boxes. Ignoring the fact that I wanted his biceps flexed around me.

  Focus, Morgan. Get your shit together and walk away now, before this goes too far and you end up hurt. Or pregnant. Or both.

  “Sorry. I think I interrupted something,” Taya said.

  “No worries. It’s fine.” I shuffled through the mail: credit card bill, junk, more junk. Three-quarters of the way through, I stopped.

  Taya crossed the room and peered over my shoulder. “Anything interesting?”

  Pinching the corners between my fingers like they contained radioactive materials, I plucked out the two envelopes that held my future.

  “Not sure.” I glanced at her, then the envelopes.

  “Well, what are you waiting for? Open them.” She rubbed her hands together, far more excited than I was.

  “Here.” I pushed the envelopes at her. “You do it.”

  “Which one first?”

  “Doesn’t matter.”

  I closed my eyes and listened to the paper crinkle and rip. The room went silent.

  “Looks like you’ve got a problem.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  My hatchback thudded closed with a sense of finality. Taya had gone to use the bathroom. It was time to say goodbye.

  Daniel leaned against the corner of my wagon, arms crossed, hair floating loose to his shoulders, loo
king every inch the self-absorbed, too-hot-for-his-own-good player I’d pegged him for months ago. Except his eyes. Instead of crackling with humor and innuendo, they were serious, and focused on me with an intensity that made a hard, jagged lump lodge in my throat like a piece of frozen avalanche debris.

  “So, did you get a job offer?”

  I nodded, letting my eyes skid from one side to the other, afraid to meet his gaze. “Two of them. A writer-in-residence gig at a nature center in Big Sur, and an internship working the environmental beat for a small town, local paper.”

  “Sweet!” He held up a hand and I made myself slap his palm. He studied me for a second. “You not very pumped. What’s up?”

  “I am.” I met his eyes and looked away. “I’m just not sure what to do.”

  “Well, which one do you want?”

  “The newspaper job is exactly what I want to do.” I gulped and tacked on, “But Big Sur would be amazing too.”

  “One pay more than the other?”

  “Not really.”

  “Hmmh. Big Sur is pretty cool. Where’s the newspaper?”

  I stared down at the gravel parking lot surrounding my sneaker-clad feet. “Bellingham.”

  “Seriously? Awesome!” Daniel swept me up in a bear hug. “We can see each all the time, no problem.”

  He set me down, and I stepped back. His eyes gleamed, and he bounced on his toes, doing that excited puppy dog thing again. Which was flattering, and totally freaked me out. Daniel was a free spirit who moved every season. He wouldn’t want to be chained to me—not when we were a couple hours apart. Definitely not if we were two states apart.

  His eyebrows came down in a V over his strong nose. “Unless you don’t want to?”

  “You’re not a relationship guy. And you have good reasons. Just like I have good reason for not doing casual.” I crossed my arms over my heart. “It won’t work.”

  He pulled my arms apart and took my hands. “I’m serious about this. About us. Give me a chance and I’ll prove it to you.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t take a job just to be closer to you.”

  “You wouldn’t be. You’d be taking the job you want, and you’d get me as a bonus. How can that be bad?”

  Good question. I searched for answers. The Danny-boy I thought I knew was not the Daniel I’d spent the past twenty-four hours with, that was for sure. Still, I had a hard time reconciling the horn-dog hottie image with the earnest man in front of me.

  “We barely know each other. Even if I move to Bellingham, it’s an hour drive plus an hour ferryboat ride, each way. We’d only see each other once a week at best.” I swallowed, and worked to keep my voice even. “What if you meet someone else?”

  “I know it sounds crazy.” He squeezed my hands and brought them to his heart. “But I’ve never wanted to be with anyone like I want to be with you. Doesn’t matter if you’re two hours away or twenty. If you want to go to Big Sur, I’ll wait for you. Then we can find jobs together or I can get one wherever you end up. If you take the job in Bellingham, I’ll be at your place every chance I get.”

  My eyes burned. If I could have yesterday for the rest of my life, I’d be a fool to say no. But I needed to be sure it wasn’t just the thrill of the chase before I put my future, and my heart, on the line.

  I blinked and shook my head. “You like being single. It’s safe. Are you sure you’re ready to risk getting hurt?”

  “Never been more sure of anything in my life. Other than it would kill me if I broke your heart.” He tilted my chin up and looked me in the eye. “Relax, Morgan. I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m not even asking you to pick a job right this second. All I’m asking for is a dinner date.”

  “A date?”

  “Yep. You know, where two people hang out. Get to know each other better. Have a good time. Hopefully make plans for another date.”

  “Except our first date would include your whole family. No pressure though, right?”

  “If that’s what’s freaking you out we can go out to dinner instead. I don’t care, as long as we’re together.” His smile flickered. “You’re missing out if you don’t meet the rest of the Griffin clan, though.”

  Daniel’s tone was relaxed, but he didn’t move a muscle as he stared into my eyes. Even his chest froze.

  I wanted to give this a chance with every bit of my heart, soul, and body. The only thing keeping me from saying yes was my head. It still held on to my old beliefs about him. Beliefs he’d proven wrong time and again.

  “Okay. One date.”

  “Does that mean you’re coming to dinner, or should I make reservations?”

  “I’m coming to dinner.”

  “Yes!” He pumped his fist in the air and a huge, gleaming smile spread across his face.

  I couldn’t help grinning back. “Shut up and kiss me, you goofball.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Mom danced down the hall and into the kitchen, singing about Dixie chickens and Tennessee lambs. I added my tenor to her soprano on the chorus, and stuffed more goat cheese, walnuts, and pickled figs into the chicken breasts.

  Dinner is gonna blow Morgan’s mind.

  The last notes of the song faded out, and Sam looked at Tabitha with a mischievous grin. “So, Daniel, have you told Morgan about that time when you were ten and got poison oak all over your butt?”

  “Or what about that time a bee flew down your shirt in second grade, and you ripped off your clothes and had a meltdown, naked, in the middle of class. Morgan should definitely hear that story.”

  “Hey now, I was eight. And it was a wasp. A really big, wasp. Totally justified.”

  “Ladies, aren’t you a little too old to be torturing your brother?” Mom stood, lips pursed, hand on her hip, on the other side of the sunny yellow kitchen.

  “Nope.”

  “Never.”

  I laughed. “I don’t care, as long as they keep it to themselves once Morgan’s here.”

  “Come on. You know we would never embarrass you in front of someone you’re actually serious about. At least not someone we’ve never met before,” Sam said.

  Tabitha waved a hand in my direction. “With that apron on, you don’t need our help anyway.”

  I glanced down at the printed-on tuxedo covering my chest and thighs. “You two bought me this apron when I graduated, and I like it. Makes me look sexy.” I puckered my lips and gave ‘em my best blue steel stare.

  “But, will Morgan like it?” Tabs asked.

  Sam shook her head. “If she doesn’t, she’s not right for Daniel anyway.”

  I wasn’t worried about Morgan liking my apron or my family, because they’re both awesome. After a week apart, mostly I wanted her to still like me.

  The doorbell chimed, and a wave of nervous excitement hit me like a giant burst of fresh powder snow, bits of cold striking my skin and making me shiver. I’d been looking forward to this moment all week. Or at least the moment I’d imagined in my head—which didn’t involve me still being elbow-deep in prep when she got here.

  I held up my chicken and goat cheese-covered hands. “Mom, can you get that? I don’t trust those two alone with her.” I hitched my chin at my sisters.

  “Oh, but you trust me?” Mom’s smile went a little evil, along with her laugh. “I still have a video of you belting off-key Journey songs dressed in nothing but your dinosaur socks. Your little butt was so cute when you were four.” She headed for the door.

  “You wouldn’t do that to me,” I called to her retreating back.

  My sisters followed on her heels, heads together, whispering. I cringed a little, deep inside. Sure, they loved me, and they wanted me to be happy, but they also owed me for years of teenage torture.

  I scrubbed my hands in the sink and wiped them dry on a dishtowel. The laughter and chatter grew louder, and my sisters ushered Morgan into the kitchen.

  She stopped, and time stopped. I’m pretty sure the whole world stopped, and it was just the two of us. “Hey
.”

  “Hey.”

  Her smile and her eyes were tight, but she was still so, fucking, gorgeous. Fuck. I don’t want her to stress. I want her to be happy she’s here, with me.

  The distance between us was too much. Not to mention the way she wouldn’t meet my eyes. I walked around the kitchen island, wanting to kiss her, but not wanting to freak her out.

  I settled for gathering her up in a big hug. She hugged me back, but her arms were stiff. I let her go way before I wanted to.

  But hey, at least she’s here. And she hugged me back.

  “Thanks for coming,” I said, meaning it but sounding awkward as hell. I rubbed the back of my neck.

  “Thanks for inviting me.”

  The oven beeped.

  “How was your trip?”

  “Really good. Lots of beach time. Lots of mountain time. Lots of quality time with my sister.” Her smile got more genuine. “And my car made it.”

  “Sweet.” I held up my hand and she slapped my palm.

  The oven beeped again, but I wasn’t ready to stop staring at Morgan standing in my mom’s kitchen. Then again, I was pretty sure I’d never get tired of staring at Morgan.

  She glanced down at my chest, and her smile made it to her eyes. “Nice apron. I wondered what you’d look like in a tux.”

  Morgan was thinking about me. And she liked the apron. Double mental fist pump.

  “Much better than he looks in that apron.” Mom bustled into the kitchen and grabbed a vase from the cabinet. “Thank you again for the tulips, they’re lovely.”

  “I’m glad you like them.”

  “So, you thought about me.” I took Morgan’s hand and slipped my fingers into hers, working to keep from grinning like a lovesick idiot.

  “Only that one time.” Morgan pressed her lips together, but the corners twitched.

  Ha. She definitely thought about me more than once.

  Pretty much the only thing I’d thought about all week was seeing her again. And again. And again. Those thoughts made me smile every time. Knowing she’d thought about me was way better.