Tradition Be Damned

by Rebecca Royce

  “That’s good that you look to him. He’d die for you.” Her white eyes scanned my guards. “They all would. Even the young one who is catching up. So nicely chosen. You are much beloved.”

  The guard at her left elbow touched her arm. “Daniella, too much. We don’t know them, and it’s not our place.”

  Since I had her name, I used it. “My name is Anna, Sister Daniella. How have we not met before, and what is wrong with your guards’ eyes?”

  She smiled, her cheeks pinking. “You are so young, Sister Anna.” As she spoke, the guards’ eyes returned to their natural colors of blue, green, and brown before her own hazel depths filled her eyes. “I forget myself sometimes. We no longer worry about hiding it. Long past are the days when I cared a hoot about what others thought. But this is causing you worry, and I don’t want that. You are kind. Good-natured. Powerful and strong. You try as best you can and you—”

  The guard to her left grabbed her hand. “Too much.”

  She sighed. “This is why we rarely leave home anymore. But there is one who can’t come to me, so I must to him.”

  None of this made any sense. “I asked you a question, Sister. Might you consider answering it? How have we not met?”

  I knew I was bordering on rude. She’d come to me, not I to her. If she didn’t want questions, she should have stayed away.

  “We have met. Now that I know your name, I know you are Sister Katrina’s niece. You wouldn’t remember me. You were a baby. Not even one year old when I left. You cried, a lot, in the nursery. I could hear you through all the walls.”

  I brought my hand to my throat. “No one has ever told me that before.”

  “No one else cared.” She cleared her throat. “Can I assume your aunt is Sister Superior by now?”

  “Yes.” I was feeling a little dizzy, and I didn’t know why. Instead of trying to stop it, I sat right back down on the bench. Her power was greater than mine, and while we were all conversing nicely, I was being battered by her energy. I put my head in my hands.

  She gasped. “Sebastian, stop it. I don’t need that amp at the moment. You’re hurting her. She’s young, and she’s not attacking.”

  The guard on the end nodded quickly. “My apologies. Habit.”

  Garrett sat quickly and pulled me into his arms even as Bryant practically growled. “I don’t know what’s happening. I can’t understand mystical things. But I will kill anyone who harms her.”

  She smirked. “I believe you would. If you could. And let’s not find out if you can. Don’t feel badly, Anne. You cried in the nursery. You should have cried. They took you out of your mother’s arms and dropped you in a nursery where people took shifts providing you only basic care and barely any attention. We all cried like that at one point. We do our pain early in the Sisterhood. A mother gives up her baby for love. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Only the deepest love can understand that she can’t take proper care of the one she brought into the world. I can’t imagine giving up my daughters. Despite what they told you, what your mother did was absolutely correct. I would have fought her, too.”

  Wait, what? I didn’t want to talk to her about my mother and the shame she’d laid on both of us when she refused to give me up with grace. I didn’t want to even begin to understand how this woman had daughters. We didn’t have children in the Sisterhood. The Divinity saw to that. We were all, as a rule, sterile. Our destinies were not for children but for service. It was one of the truths of our lives. This woman was insane, and she was beating on me left and right. I found I could breathe again. I touched Garrett’s arms, and he let me go. I rose.

  “Well then, Daniella”—anyone who battered at me, on purpose or not—and I still didn’t quite understand what had happened there—didn’t get called Sister anymore—“where have you been for the last twenty years?”

  “They’re supposed to be dead,” Mason answered. “This is Sister Daniella and her five guards. They’re legendary. All of them died taking on a succubus north of the Sisterhood.

  The one she’d called Sebastian spoke. “Is that what they say?”

  “Well, you’re obviously not dead. I don’t know the grand story of your death. It must be something the guards discuss. There’s never been a mention of Sister Daniella in my life. What’s really going on?”

  She took the hand of the guard to her left. “I wish I could tell you. I had no idea when I came by that you were quite so young. Amazing you have made it this far knowing so little, and with your guards also the babies they are. No matter. If you’ve made it this far, then we will meet again, I believe. You are strong.”

  Her guard spoke. “Not so much, Daniella. They don’t like it.”

  She raised an eyebrow to the guard on her right. “I know, Peter. I can hear them too. We’ll let you be on your way. It’s been such a long time. Such a very long time. Good luck on your journey. Wherever you are going is where you are supposed to be. Try to hear them.” She pointed at Milo. “You already do. Stop denying it.”

  His eyes widened, and he looked at me, a questioning glint in his gaze. I really had no idea what she meant either.

  “I’ve had enough of this.” The world seemed to tilt to the right and then back again. Sister Daniella with her unrelenting striking at my powers needed to be on her way. “Please go away.”

  “We’ll make her go, Sister Anne,” Bry’s use of my title wasn’t lost on me. We were in public. He would behave like guard number One.

  “No need for nonsense,” Daniella answered. “We’re all on the same side. I remember how she feels all too well. It’s awful. I vomited for days. I’m not to interfere, but I will say this: Get those symbols off her before they kill her. We will see each other again. Oh, and don’t forget that you chose this and you have to go through the dark to see the light.”

  “Daniella.” One of her guards whose name I hadn’t heard spoke loudly.

  The world rocked again, and I fell backwards. Mason caught me. I didn’t even know how he got there that fast.

  I woke up on the next train. My guards had to be getting so sick of carrying me around. My wig was off—thank goodness—and I was still in normal clothes. A light sheet covered me. Garrett read in the corner with a small light on, my first indication that it was already nighttime. He had the symbols book. Bryant lay next to me, his eyes closed but his face not relaxed. Kieran was on my other side, lying on his side facing me. He also rested.

  Mason lay across the end of the bed, staring at the ceiling, and Milo snored on a coach in the corner. This room was bigger than the one on the other train.

  I sat up slightly, and they all roused, almost at once. Garrett dropped his book.

  I wished I could say I felt better, but I didn’t. I did, indeed, want to throw up. “Well, they call me the weird sister back at home. I’d say I’ve got nothing on her.”

  Bryant laughed, a hard sound. “She’s going to be fine.”

  I hoped he was right. “Where’s the bathroom?”

  Vomiting was my least favorite thing in the world.

  Twelve

  I felt much better. The train’s rocking hadn’t helped anything, and the sound of the rain pouring on the ceiling did nothing for my headache. But some hot tea and listening to Garrett read aloud from a book that had nothing to do with the Sisterhood had improved things a great deal. When he started needing to clear his throat, I knew we’d asked him to read too much of the Bonny Tales of Maiden May for the day. Besides, now that I was feeling better, we really had to talk.

  None of them seemed to want to bring it up. Silence filled the cabin, and before they all decided to go to bed, I wanted to get this over with. “So, anyone want to hazard a guess about what’s been going on with Sister Daniella and her merry bunch?”

  Bryant got up and crossed to sit on the edge of my bed. They’d all retreated to various spots in the room, like they needed space from each other and, in equal measure, space from me. Maybe it had bee
n the puking, but I suspected it had more to do with what we’d all seen outside.

  “From what we know”—Mason spoke first—“they were supposed to be dead. Gone down in glory. They sacrificed themselves saving her, and in the end she died, but it was all heroic. Just what we would want to happen.”

  I sat up straighter. “What you want to happen?”

  “We’re not kidding”—Kieran looked out the window and not at me—“when we say we would die for you. We would. Our people, if we have any, would be taken care of by the Sisterhood. And we’d know we’d performed our solemn oath to put your life above our own. Her death was a tragedy. But they had to have known she saw them go down fighting. Except, of course, they’re not dead.”

  I needed to make something clear. “What you are talking about is my worst nightmare. Not the ‘Sister dying’ part. I’m not afraid to die. It’s always been with me, the idea I would die and I would do it young. I sometimes think I might make it to retirement, but I doubt it. The demons want to kill me. They will likely do so. But the idea of you dying in the process? I cannot fathom it. Everything inside of me revolts at the idea. I will not have it, and you are not to think you are somehow doing something noble by dying. I refuse to accept it.”

  “We’re not going to debate that right now.” Bryant shook his head. “So they are not dead. That shatters the image of the good guard dying. I’m not going to dwell. They either decided to run away together or for some reason they were all thrown out. In any case, they seem to have stayed together for the last twenty-some-odd years, which is incredible unto itself.”

  Milo shook his head. “How about their eyes changing like a Sister’s?”

  “How did that work?” Garrett picked up his book. “I’ve never even heard of such a thing being possible and how she changed all their eyes back.”

  “I can’t make sense of any of it.” I really couldn’t.

  “Well, let’s all agree then that we have a lot of questions and a lot of things have been kept from us or people don’t really know what’s going on. We’ll figure it out in the morning.” Bryant stood. “Let’s go to bed. We’re almost over the border. It’s like I can feel the Deadlands coming.”

  Milo rose. “When I left, I thought I’d never be back.”

  “Hey.” Garrett grabbed Milo. “What did she mean by you could hear them? What did Sister Daniella mean?”

  My youngest guard shrugged. “No idea.”

  Interesting. Milo was lying. I could tell by the way he didn’t quite meet Garrett’s gaze when he answered. Milo was all about the eye contact.

  I would ask him what it was, but not until we were alone.

  My bed wasn’t as comfortable as the last one had been. I rolled all over the place trying to get comfortable, but I got nowhere. I was alone at night for the first time in a while. When none of them had offered to stay, I’d not pushed for it. I wanted them if they wanted me. Something Milo had said bothered me, and I wasn’t even sure why I hadn’t considered it before. I was dragging them to the Deadlands. That was their past, the place they had left, the reason they’d joined the guards. I’d decided, without consulting them, to drag them back in.

  Why was I so selfish?

  The door opened slowly, and Mason entered on quiet feet. He wore only his boxer shorts, and his hair spiked up in places like he’d been asleep and hadn’t tried to fix it.

  “Are you okay?” He didn’t answer me but crawled into bed, coming down on top of me. “Mason?”

  I couldn’t think at all when his mouth came down on me. Fire spread through my body, pooling between my legs. By the Divinity, I wanted him. The door opened again. Mason didn’t seem to care. He pressed down on me, devouring my mouth, his cock growing harder with each second he kissed me. Over and over again.

  Garrett came up behind me, crawling in behind. Like Mason, he wore only his boxers. Well, I hadn’t anticipated this, but if they were game, so was I. Why not share? Garrett tugged me until I was in his arms, my back to his stomach. Mason adjusted himself, coming toward my front. Had they done this before? They were pretty adept at figuring out what positions we were supposed to be in.

  Neither one of them had spoken to me, which seemed kind of off. Suddenly I wasn’t happy about this at all. I wanted them, but they almost seemed to be sleepwalking.

  I grabbed Mason’s chin. “Look at me.”

  His eyes met mine. Yep, he wasn’t all there. His kisses were heavenly, but if we were going to make love, I wanted him to at least remember it. “Stop.”

  He immediately ceased kissing me. In the meantime, Garrett started laying kisses on my neck. I rolled over. “You need to stop too. This is lovely. But I swear you’re both asleep. Hush. And go back to sleep.”

  Garrett nodded at me, his eyes closing, and on the other side, Mason started snoring, his neck in a position that didn’t look comfortable at all. I adjusted him, and he stopped snoring. That was really odd. Why had they both done that?

  I snuck out of the bed, leaving them there. Milo stood in the hallway between our two rooms. He had his hands over his ears. “Can’t you hear them? Can’t you?”

  His words were slurred. I touched his chin. “You’re not awake. There’s nothing here. I hear nothing. Go into my room and lay down.”

  He nodded at me, and I watched while he made his way over to the couch and collapsed on top of it. I made my way into the guards’ room. It looked like mine. Garrett and Mason must have been sharing the bed, or maybe Milo had been in it with them. It was empty and messed up. Bryant stood by the window, his hand on the pane, while Kieran thrashed in his makeshift bed on the floor.

  If I’d had any doubt, I didn’t now. Something was affecting all of my guards. And it wasn’t a demon because my powers lay dormant. In that moment, I was as helpful as any regular woman would be—not much.

  What was going on?

  I touched Kieran, which seemed to wake him. But his eyes had that same glazed look as before. “I love you, and you need me.” He got up on his knees. “Take what I offer you, Anne. Always. It’s mine to give you.”

  “Sshh.” I stroked his cheek. “You’re dreaming. Go sleep in my room.”

  I had the need to get them all into my bedroom. It didn’t make sense, but none of this did. Had they somehow been drugged? He rose from the floor, and I took his arm to make sure he moved in the right direction. “Take the big chair.”

  “Okay.” His walk was off; I was afraid he might head straight into the wall, but instead he managed to exit the room and head towards mine.

  What was Bry doing? I approached him slowly. He stared out the window, not blinking. “Powerful magic in this part of the country, Sister Anne.”

  His use of the word “Sister” concerned me about as much as the fact that he didn’t look at me. “You’re not yourself right now.”

  If he’d been possessed, I would have felt it. Wouldn’t I? He turned to me with the same glazed expression as everyone else. “It’s sex magic. In the Deadlands, what shouldn’t be sometimes is.”

  I touched his shoulder. Well, sex magic, whatever that was, would at least explain Mason and Garrett. Even Kieran.

  “You’re asleep. You need to go rest. In my room.” They would be safe if they were in my space. As I was going on instinct, I had to believe my gut knew what it was talking about. “You need to go in there. And be safe.”

  He took his hand off the window. “You’re my Sister. To them, they love you as Anne, and I love you that way too. But you’re my Sister. You are the reason. I’ll take off the mask if you ask me to.”

  I stared at him, the strange dream I’d had coming back to me. I’d been in the center of the fire, and they’d all been wearing masks. All five of them. I shook my head.

  “It’s not a night for that.” I kissed his cheek, speaking slowly. “Go sleep in the bed with Mason and Garrett. Rest.”

  He nodded. “Yes, my lady.”

  I waited until he was out
of the room to look around. This wasn’t demonic, but I had no other explanation. They did seem to be under the control of something. Sex magic?

  Slowly, I made my way into the room. They’d all done as I’d told them. They were sleeping quietly. I took a deep breath. Well, that had to be one of the strangest things ever. A whoosh sounded, and I darted around. For one second, I thought I saw the birds—the fates—whatever they were that kept showing up for me during moments of extreme power.

  We chose them for you. They love you. You’ve always loved them. Why do you deny what they freely offered?

  “Because they’re not awake, and I’m all about consent.” Was I really speaking back to the creatures?

  They can’t yet do what you need while awake; they are still wearing masks. They have always said yes.

  “Well then, I guess they can’t do it. I’m not interested in making love to people who are not awake.”

  My whole body shook. I was suddenly not in the room but back inside the circle of fire. My five were on the outside looking in. Sure enough, they wore stone masks. I could only see their eyes. This was how it must be to look at me with the hood.

  Mason’s dark gaze met mine. Sorrow toward me. I hated to see it and walked to get to him, but the flames grew too tall. I wouldn’t reach him. Milo’s green-blue eyes stared at me, hard and pleading. But for what? Bryant’s blue depths were next. He hated his stone cage, blocking him, keeping him from me. I could see his struggle. Kieran’s brown eyes were the same as his hair, alive with so many other colors I could hardly count the streaks. He was crying inside his mask. And finally Garrett, who had looked away from me so many times in the carriages before we’d bonded, held me with a steady gaze now. He was resigned.

  What was happening here? The birds dove and floated. They weren’t really birds. I knew that. When I’d seen them with the Incubus, I’d known them for what they were. Fates. The other side. Part of the fight against the demons.

  But what surprised me in the circle was Sister Daniella. She stood like a statue of power. Her arms up, she addressed the fates as though she knew them.