Heart

by Paula Hayes

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Chasing the Twister

  “Why didn’t you tell me before, she had gone back to South Africa. SERIOUSLY, what is wrong with that woman,” raged Anna.

  “Excuse me, sweetheart but that woman is my mother and I will thank you to remember that,” Jacqui spat back and then ran out of steam. Instead she paid soliticious attention to the first coat of nail polish she was applying to her toes.

  “I know, I know. I’m just so angry with the pair of you. I’m angry with Corinne for pissing off on you and with you … for not telling me about it. We are meant to be best friends. You know you don’t like being alone. You know you get the heebeegeebees. I bet you haven’t slept properly for weeks!” shouted Anna in her smotherly motherly tone that irked Jacqui. The tiny brush wobbled in her hand.

  “I know all that, I just lost my way … It was so soon after … the divorce.”

  Anna and Jacqui were sitting on Anna’s bed. Anna’s room was directly opposite the ‘green room’. Leo stood in the doorway, smoking a ciggie lost in thought. Smoke billowed across into Anna’s room and she waved her arms around in a motion of protest. Jacqui had been invited by Nina and Natalie to split her time between Anna and Dylan’s. Nina and Natalie kept her secret. The occasional night here and there turned into a conspicuously longer stay and she knew she was getting on Anna’s nerves.

  And now the cat was out of the bag. Dylan had been the one to work out something was seriously wrong and Jacqui, relieved to unburden the secret, had cried noisily into Dylan’s arms after Professor Roychowdhury’s funeral.

  She had started off with the Roychowdhury family, giving the Grey’s space as they had welcomed Bubba. Since Thaku dadu’s death she had moved in with Anna. Anna presumed from Jacqui’s silence and Corinne’s absence that Corinne was in a mental hospital after suffering one of those breakdowns highly artistic people were susceptible to. She had seen it coming months ago. But nobody listened to her.

  Anna’s room was painted a stark white. There were no photographs on the wall or heavy dark furniture. There was not a hint of sentimentality. Instead, there was a peculiar new series of abstract paintings Anna had created for a school Art project., a triptych of weirdness. Jacqui could make out a beak, an eyeball and a very flat chicken shape, she squinted her eyes in the hope it was an abstract dove, offering up peace. Then she remembered Anna’s protest blog on battery chickens and her outrage, suddenly the squashed chook made sense.

  “I love your chickens, I really feel their pain.”

  But Anna was busy listing Corinne’s crimes and glanced at the chooks dismissively, “And you failed your History exam because of her.”

  Jacqui shrugged, “Oh no, I really wasn’t prepared, I had a terrible headache. I was coming down with the flu.”

  “Bullshit!”

  “Did she leave you any meals? Any information about when bills are due?”

  “I have plenty of money,” rallied Jacqui.

  “So what did she say to you? How did she say goodbye? How did she explain herself?”

  Jacqui was silent.

  “Well?”

  “She was in a bit of a hurry.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She left me a lovely little letter. Really, it was very sweet. I will cherish it always,” offered Jacqui.

  “A note, she left you a note! Now I am really outraged … and how many times has she phoned or skyped you?”

  Jacqui hung her head down and concentrated on the second coat of nail polish she was applying to her toes. Anna continued to rattle off rounds of questions into the lazy afternoon air. Leo called out to Anna to calm down. She ignored him.

  “Well, come on, how many times?” Anna’s vein popped in wild indignation.

  She had called once to tell her all about Tim and his white rhinos. He was younger but he really got her, Mum breathed into the phone sounding like a teenager.

  Jacqui had tried to steer the conversation back to pertinent points like—when are you coming back home, I love you and I miss you but Corinne had steamrolled through the conversation with the finesse of the white rhinoceros she was painting.

  “Well, come on how many times?”

  “Once,” said Jacqui.

  “Once! In five weeks and six days,” gasped Anna.

  “You don’t understand! She is out in the middle of a National Park. There isn’t a good satellite range. She is literally in the middle of nowhere.”

  “Stop giving her excuses, it’s appalling behaviour for a forty seven year old woman. This is bloody outrageous. And where is Warren, offshore or who knows where?”

  “He is in Papua New Guinea and we skype all the time.”

  “Well what does he say about the situation?”

  “I haven’t mentioned it to him. I don’t tell tales on my mum! Everything has just settled back down since the court case.”

  “YOU haven’t mentioned it! Outrageous!!”

  Anna folded her arms and tisked, “Well I’m very disappointed that you did not confide in me. Very disappointed. I’m cut, really hurt.”

  “Sorry Annakins, I guess I was—”

  “What? What were you?” A nasty rush of irritation entered Anna’s voice. She tried to smooth it away.

  Jacqui was tired and overwrought and on the very edge now.

  “Stick to writing blogs about squashed chickens because you will never understand how people feel!” Her voice was low and shaky.

  Jacqui could not imagine Nina or Natalie ever running away from their families, a short erratic note the only communication. She had watched Nina cook, pack and label dozens of curries with military precision before her departure to India. Natalie had ironed, swept and dusted herself out of the house, leaving a trail of sticky yellow notes regarding appointments, meals and animal instructions when she had gone to look after her sister’s kids down south.

  Jacqui was terrified of sleeping in that cold studio alone and had attempted to spread her nights inconspicuously between Dylan, Anna and her new pals. Some nights, she attempted to sleep in her mother’s double bed but watched the television on mute, rigid with fear, ‘Anna is right’ pounding in her brain.

  “How could you ever understand? You are surrounded with all this lurve,” she spewed out the word and opened her arms up in a twirl. “You’ve got two parents that don’t have restraining orders out against each other, you have a big sister and a big brother who run around after you, you have two dogs, seven chickens and even a bloody rabbit!”

  Leo stopped puffing and looked intently at Jacqui’s face, she felt his burning blue eyes on her and uncannily pointed to him, “You even have your own fucking ghost who lives in a room decorated with friendly dead fuckers. You are so lucky! Sometimes it’s hard being the friend of a barely contained bulldog!”

  Anna snorted and stood up, “Sorry your family couldn’t manage ‘normal’ and ‘socially acceptable’ behaviour. Boo fucking who!”

  “I tell you what is outrageous, YOU! You are a horrible cold hearted cow.” Jacqui jumped up and knocked over the red nail polish. It splattered over the white rug like a popped artery. Anna stared at it in shock while Jacqui bolted out the front door.

  Leo drew his smoke in deeply and exhaled it out, “Geez … you make Mary Ellen look like a saint.” He inhaled again. “What the hell was that all about? Can’t you see she is low, what is wrong with you! You’re like a loaded bloody cannon ... You better follow her, she is well out of sorts, go and say you’re sorry!”

  “But I’m not! And besides … I’m not her mother, I don’t have to baby her!”

  Leo stubbed out his cigarette on the wooden floor. Anna attempted to protest but realised it had disappeared into smoky nothingness.

  “Don’t you get it, you are all she has. Now go and say you’re sorry, Anna. My mother stayed with me. It was me that left her.” He attempted to barge through the d
oorframe but an invisible ockey strap catapulted him back into the room. Incensed, he moved to the window, straining to catch sight of Jacqui. He saw the swish of her floppy spotty pajama pant move up into a lumbering bus.

  “HURRY UP AND MOVE YOUR ARSE ANNA!! SHE IS GETTING ON THE BUS.”

  As he moved from the front window, the room became a plaything for his impatience. Leo stomped back and leaned forward onto the glass. The pane cracked and the heavy curtains twirled up towards the ceiling. The rod lurched and hit the ground with a crack.

  Alarmed by the noise, Kevin ran down the passage and stood in the doorway. His jaw dropped. He was gazing at a mini twister rampaging through his formal room.

  “Nat, Nat, come quick love, NATALIE … COME HERE, I NEED YOU!”

  He clutched his heart. He knew he was watching something extraordinary but he could not understand how the wintery autumn sun was shining outside as the liquid amber leaves gently parachuted to the ground. The happy hum of a lawn mower could be heard in the distance and yet his good room was in the throes of a cyclone, twisting the drapes up to the ceiling.

  “Not again with the glass!” shouted Natalie and ran straight up to the window attempting to ‘pull’ Leo away. He spun around and faced her. The force of his movement tipped Natalie on to her bottom. Kevin raced into help her up. “Please find Jacqui, Anna hurt her and she has gone. I can feel her pain. She is not in a good way. Get your horseless carriage … I mean … your automobile Natsy and find her. She is not in a good way. Hurry!”

  Kevin dragged her back into the hallway. Anna found the car keys and the three of them piled into the car.

  “What happened?” shouted Natalie over the confusing din.

  “We were discussing her situation, you know, about being ditched by her mother. Why did nobody tell me? She just went crazy. I have never seen her so upset.”

  “What did you say to her?” shouted Nat.

  “Just the truth, Corinne is selfish … how many mid life crises can one woman have?”

  “Anna is right, what kind of a person would walk out on a child the day before her first exam, it’s not right. Too much wacky tobaccy, it’s made her crazy,” arced up Kevin.

  “Life is a bit more complicated than that. I don’t think Corinne has been well for a long time and Jacqui has been trying to take care of her mother and herself. No wonder she goes off the rails now and then.”

  “She never told me. Dylan got it out of her and he told me. Anyway I was only speaking the truth.”

  “Shut up Anna for God’s sake and just keep calling her. Then call Nina and Dylan.”

  Anna’s eyes welled with jagged tears. Her mother’s words had caught her like barbed wire. Her indignation was replaced by guilt and shame. Leo was right. Jacqui was a gentle thing but she could be a charming sly fox too. Anna was ashamed, she had been thoughtless and pushed too hard in the name of concern. And now Jacqui had run out into the cold late afternoon, alone in body and soul.

  “What would Leo know about Jacqui’s pain?”

  “What would a lonely soldier boy who has been trapped on Earth for ninety six years know about pain? Really Anna! And he was right about Bubba being a baby girl. And if you say lucky guess, I am going to push you out of the car at these next traffic lights.”

  Anna thought of the Snake tattoo arm and shivered. She had caught sight of Jacqui that night as she left the club. Jacqui flashed her best lipstick smudged smile and mouthed, “YOLO,” over her shoulder as she disappeared from Anna’s view.

  “Can’t you drive any faster?” she shouted back at her mother.

  Chapter EIGHTEEN