The Darkness of Shadoewynne: Book 3 of the Shadoewynne series

by Penelope Kein

  I gaped at her for a second before I hesitantly replied, “Sure.”

  She smiled slightly. “I’m pleased! It has been a long time since I had a friend.”

  I didn’t know where to go from there, so I just smiled at her. We walked in silence for a while before she said, “Tell me of the first abduction again. This time, include all the details you can remember.”

  I told her everything. She quietly listened the entire time, aside from a few questions, centered mainly around the water pillar thing from the first time they had kidnapped me. When I finished speaking she tapped a slender finger on her lips.

  After a minute, she stopped walking. She raised her voice. “Kait, we will make our camp here tonight.”

  He looked like he wanted to argue, but bowed and put his pack on the ground. When I glanced up to the sky, I noticed there was at least an hour’s worth of light left.

  “Eir, why are we stopping? Shouldn’t we continue until it is too dark? That way we don’t get too far behind him?”

  “There is something that we need to do, child. It is more important and will help us reach David. The hour we lose today can be made up tomorrow.”

  “What do we need to do?”

  She smiled secretively at me. “You will see shortly. Go help Kait and Travis set up camp and I will be ready when you are done.”

  I nodded as I walked away, shooting glances at her over my shoulder. She watched me until I reached Kait, then she turned away to find a seat on a fallen log before she closed her eyes.

  “Did you have a nice talk?” Kait’s voice was dry and he arched an eyebrow at me.

  “I’m sure you were in my mind, listening to the whole conversation. What do you think?”

  “You did very well, but be careful how open you are with her. She says she wants a friend, but she may not mean what you think. The ancient Shadoewynne are odd and a whole different level of being.”

  “I know, Kait, you’ve told me before. Call it a woman’s intuition, but I believe her. I don’t think she wants anything more from me than friendship.”

  He sighed. “Time will tell. Help me set up this tent, please.” We worked silently as we set the large two-room tent up toward the edge of the clearing, so the fire that Travis was building could be in the middle.

  “It’s two rooms so Eir can sleep in the tent too if she wants, and we will still have our own room. Travis has the sleeping bags. They can all be zipped together so we can share body warmth.” He waggled his eyebrows at me as he spoke.

  I smirked, even as my body warmed, and my face heated. There was no way I would do anything like that in a tent with an ancient being in the next room.

  “Evalia! Attend me!” Startled, I spun around. Eir was staring at me, her eyes glowing a bright emerald color, and her skin was almost translucent. I rushed over to her, too scared to argue. She gestured in front of her, indicating she wanted me to kneel, so I did. She placed one hand on top of my head and the other she held up to the sky. Then she began chanting. My eyes fluttered closed on their own as I felt a great power rush through me, tearing me apart and putting me back together again. It should have been terrifying, but it felt cleansing. Like the power was taking everything negative out of me. When the power left my body, a blissful feeling remained. I don’t know how long we were like that, but when she lifted her hand, it felt like I had a full night’s sleep.

  I slowly opened my eyes. The world seemed brighter, like the sun had finally come out from behind a cloud, and despite everything still ahead of us, my mood was euphoric. I jumped to my feet, too full of energy to control my movements. A laugh bubbled up, escaping in a manic giggle, until my eyes fell on Eir. Her eyes were closed, and her skin had taken on a grayish tinge.

  I reached for her, but Kait stopped me. “She is processing what her magic removed. Don’t touch her, or it will undo the spell.”

  We watched her in silence for a bit until Travis asked Kait for help to set up the tripod over the fire to cook dinner. Kait shook his head as he went over. I watched them as I wondered what her magic removed from me. The sudden increase in energy and exhilaration had me concerned. Considering what we were doing, I shouldn’t feel this happy. When I looked back at her, she was watching me with a small smile. Her color was back to normal and her eyes were her normal dark green.

  I cleared my throat and checked that Kait was still busy before hesitantly asking, “What did you do?”

  “I removed the vestiges of the dark magic they used to track you and to sift through your memories.”

  “Is that normal? The magic being left behind, I mean. Why do I feel so happy?”

  “Yes. Dark magic taints everything it touches. It is like a stain and can be just as difficult to remove. It also dampened your mood and caused you to feel greater anxiety than normal. I will need to remove the dark magic’s touch from Travis and Kait. We cannot allow it to fester or we will have greater problems to worry about.”

  I glanced over to where my guys were now cooking over the fire. “Do you think that was what happened with David?”

  She sighed. “Possibly, but I won’t know until I can examine him. It’s not likely, though.” She eyed me, her gaze traveling up and down my body. “I would like to offer some unsolicited advice, child. You are powerful but you fight against your instincts. If you would relax, follow your instincts and allow your magic to flow freely, I think you will find much of your anxiety will disappear.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Instincts are your subconscious reading the world around you and feeding that information to your brain where it translates into feelings of what could happen. In a magical being, magic is a big part of how the instinct functions. When a being is consciously or subconsciously afraid of their magic, it tangles the messages in the brain, which causes anxiety, since the brain doesn’t know what messages to believe. Learn your magic, so you are not afraid of it, and you will see some, if not all, of your anxiety relieved.”

  “I’m not afraid of magic.” She tilted her head at me and just stared. “I’m not. It’s not the magic I’m afraid of. It’s everything else in this world. I have had nothing but problems since I found out about Shadoewynne. It’s only natural that I’m apprehensive of it. As far as I can tell, learning my magic will change none of the issues I have had, nor will it make anything easier.”

  “You are afraid of the potential within yourself. You don’t know what you are capable of, and it scares you.”

  My jaw dropped. I stammered out, “Why do you think that?”

  “As a healer, I can tell when the mind and body are out of sync. When a being is throttling their instincts and their magic. Sometimes it is done to a dangerous level. You are not to that point. Yet. In a way, warding your magic from you was a good thing, but it also seems that some of your problems stem from that.”

  “How do I fix it then?”

  She laughed. “Matters of the mind are difficult. I do not have an answer for that. You need to figure out why you are afraid of your magic and what you need to do to not be afraid. Sometimes it is simply a matter of learning to use the magic, and other times it’s a more deep-seated issue. We won’t know until we get into it.” She examined me again. ”I think part of your problem is you have been focusing on the military and fighting applications. You need to learn some other non-confrontational applications of your magic.”

  “How? There are no water nymphs to teach me here.”

  “Water nymph magic is elemental and shares many commonalities with my magic. I will teach you. We will find you a teacher for the electric portion of your power. Unfortunately, that has limited uses outside of fighting. However, I have seen skilled paramedics use electric powers to save lives, so it is not only destructive.”

  “I would like to discuss your plan with Kait and Travis before I decide.” I was afraid it would offend her, but she smiled slightly as she inclined her head. I glanced back at them again; they were taking the meat off the tripod. “It l
ooks like my dinner is ready. I will come back with an answer after we have eaten and discussed it.” She nodded again before closing her eyes and tilting her face to the sky.

  I walked back over to Kait. Before I said anything, he said, “I heard everything, but you need to fill Travis in, then I will give you my thoughts.”

  He handed me a filled plate and gestured to a table. Where had that come from? As I stared, chairs formed around it. It was then I realized Kait had used his magic to make them. Eir was right. I hadn’t even considered practical uses for magic, other than drying my hair. I shook my head as I sat down.

  “Well, what’re you filling me in on?”

  Travis’s words startled me out of my thoughts. “Oh, Eir wants to train me on my water nymph magic.” I explained what she had said, including the part about finding someone to teach me my electric powers. They were both quiet when I finished.

  Kait finally spoke up. “What do you think, Travis?”

  “If it helps her, I think she should. But we need to discuss terms in advance. As far as I know, Eir does nothing for free. What does she get out of this?”

  Kait nodded. “Very good. Princess, what are your thoughts?”

  “He took the words out of my mouth. I hesitated to agree because she did not state terms and I was not sure if it would be offensive if I asked.”

  Kait nodded again. “Very good. It is not offensive to ask, but there is a way to do it correctly. I agree with both of you. Princess, do you mind if I negotiate with her?”

  “I don’t mind if you take the lead, but I would like to be involved. It will be my decision if I accept her terms. I will consider your opinion, but you will not decide for me.” I didn’t even hesitate before I answered.

  He didn’t seem fazed by my statement, merely nodding before he started eating. While we ate, we joked around and talked about completely trivial things. When we finished, we washed our dishes with water Kait had brought in a large plastic bag. After we packed the dishes away, Kait looked at me. “Are you ready?”

  “Is there anything I need to be aware of?”

  “Just follow my lead and trust me. Don’t say anything unless one of us asks you a question, okay?”

  “Alright.” He gave me a quick peck on the lips then strolled over to where Eir was still sitting with her face up to the stars.

  “Blessed Eir, I am here to negotiate on behalf of my love, Evalia.”

  She laughed. “So formal, Kaitsja. Very well. What does she offer for my time?”

  “She does not have much, I’m afraid. What would you have me offer?”

  “You are not the recipient of the favor this time. What does Evalia offer me?” She looked at me, so I glanced at Kait and raised an eyebrow. He shook his head slightly.

  “She has nothing to offer, which is why I am volunteering to pay her debt.”

  “You already owe me for two, Kaitsja. It is rare I let someone have that many outstanding debts to me. Evalia will pay her own debt, or I will not teach her.”

  He sighed and gestured to me. I took that as permission to speak. “As Kait said, I have little to offer for your help. Did you have something in mind?”

  She leaned forward. “Actually, I did, child. I believe you have a unique skill, one that I could need. Once I teach you, I request that you use that skill to help me with a problem I have.”

  “What skill is that, and what problem do you have?” Even though I did not believe that she would deliberately harm me, I hesitated to blindly agree to do something with no details.

  Smiling, she said, “Unfortunately, I cannot give you details. I have a limited ability to see into the future, and I know I will need your help, but I do not know, exactly, what I will need you to do.” I looked at Kait, and he shrugged.

  “May I please confer with Kait before answering?” She inclined her head, then went back to meditating, or whatever it was she was doing before. We walked quietly away, joining Travis before speaking again.

  “Well, Kait, what do you think?”

  He sighed and crossed his arms. “I think you have already decided and no matter what I or Travis say, you will do it.”

  “I want to know what you think.” My tone was firm.

  He nodded before quickly explaining to Travis what Eir had asked for before adding, “I don’t think you should agree to a blind favor.”

  Travis thought about it a minute before saying, “If she does it, is it any different from what you have agreed to, not once, but twice?”

  He huffed. “That’s beside the point!”

  “Why?” Travis asked in a reasonable tone.

  “I know what I’m doing!”

  That made me mad. “And I don’t? Is that it? That’s why I asked you for your opinion. It is likely I will still do it, but I wanted to at least discuss it with you and find out if you had any reason for me not to.”

  “She could ask you to do anything, Princess. I wasn’t comfortable agreeing to a blind favor for me, and I’m not comfortable you doing it, either. She gave me a similar reason when we discussed terms. I think it’s her standard answer.”

  “The problem is that I believe her. I need to learn the other parts of my magic, soon. She said part of the anxiety I feel is because I am unconsciously afraid of my magic, which makes complete sense to me. I am tired of feeling the way I do, never knowing my place or what to do or what I’m capable of. It’s a horrible feeling and I would do anything reasonable to get it to stop.” By the end of my little speech, tears threatened.

  They both came over to wrap me in their arms. Kait understood. He could see my thoughts and how I actually feel. Travis, on the other hand, did not understand what kind of anxiety I struggled with. I sighed as I melted into their arms.

  “I give you my blessing, Princess.” He kissed the top of my head.

  “Me, too.” Travis’s arms tightened around me as Kait let go and moved away. Travis stared into my eyes for a minute before he hesitantly said, “You know, if you need to talk, I’m here.”

  Smiling, I gently ran my fingertips over his scruffy cheek as I answered. “I know that, hon. But anxiety is hard to talk about. It makes me feel like you don’t need me, want me, or love me. Like every little laugh from anyone near is directed at me. It’s an insidious little voice saying I’m worthless, that no one likes me or wants me around. That the world would be a better place and no one would notice if I disappeared. It tells me other awful things. Not just about how you and others feel about me, but also things that could happen to you or me, or how bad things will be if I am not perfect. The voice is almost impossible to ignore. When I try to explain it, the voice says I’m being needy, or stupid, and that I will push people away by voicing those fears. So, I don’t talk about it and I try to bury that part of me as deep as I can and ignore the voice in my head shouting at me. It took me a long time to realize that it was anxiety and that not everyone experiences it.”

  He leaned in and kissed me slowly. When he pulled back, he said, “I’m sorry, Babe. We are here for you no matter what, and you can talk about anything with us. When you feel that way, please tell me. So I can support you and so I can learn to recognize how the anxiety makes you feel through our bond. That way, in the future, you won’t have to say anything.”

  I nodded and kissed him briefly. The love and feelings of support he was sending through the bond nearly brought tears to my eyes again. As I turned to go back to Eir, I caught Kait’s eye. He nodded and said in my head, “He speaks for all of us, Princess. I can recognize anxiety but David can’t yet. Please speak up so we all can deal with it. You don’t have to do it alone.”

  That brought a lump to my throat. I couldn’t answer, not even in my head. I glanced away as I struggled to get my emotions under control.

  Chapter 4

  Eir was waiting patiently for me when I finally got myself back together and walked over to her, a serene little smile on her face. I wondered if she could read minds too, but quickly dismissed the thought. It didn�
��t really matter if she could. Other than a few dirty thoughts about the guys, I had nothing to hide from her.

  As I approached, she said, “Have you made your decision?”

  I knelt in front of her, bowing slightly. “Yes, it would be an honor if you would teach me.”

  She nodded like she had known my decision already. “You must formally accept the debt to me. While bowed, please say ‘I, Evalia Smith, bonded to Kaitsja General, Travis Stonemiller and David Johnson, formally accept the debt I will owe you; to be paid at your discretion for whatever you may ask of me.’”

  I repeated her words back to her. A heavyweight settled on my shoulders. “You will feel that weight as a reminder until I call in the debt. Don’t worry, though, the weight will lift a little as time passes. You may rise.” I grimaced and rolled my shoulders as I stood up. It was like I had a heavy blanket laying across my shoulders. “We will start now. One of the main powers a water nymph has is the ability to cleanse water systems of toxins. With training, this will translate into a powerful healing ability. But first, we will start with a bottle of water.” She waved her hand, and a plastic bottle of green, sludgy fluid appeared. “This sludge is toxic to wildlife. Your power should see it as abhorrent and will naturally want to cleanse this sample. Send your power to your hands then place them around the container.”

  “Um. How do I send my power to my hands?” She shook her head as she glared at Kait, who hung his head.

  She moved her glare to me, causing me to step back from her. “I am sorry, child. I am not mad at you. It is not your fault your teacher neglected a very important part of your training.” Kait’s shoulders slumped a little. She continued, without missing a beat, “To send your power to your hands, feel it and route it to where you want it. It is not easy to describe, but it’s a simple process once you figure it out.”