Beecher: Wicked Throttle MC #4

by Esther E. Schmidt

  “Did he get into a fight?” I gasp.

  Morgan nods. “From what I’ve heard he barged into the clubhouse and picked a fight with Quill. Then Maci smacked some sense into him too and that’s when the drinking started. But he seemed okay after that.”

  “I can see that,” I snap, somewhat agitated.

  I shouldn’t have let him get to me, shouldn’t have confronted him. Dammit.

  “Hey,” Morgan says with a harsh voice. “He shook it off and got his head straight. From what I’ve caught with ya’ll going back and forth while nothing happens, it’s pretty damn stressful. The tension is so thick between you two, you can cut it with a damn knife. In my opinion I think it’s time to take a fucking breath. Take two and then see this guy lying in front of you knowing his heart is yours. Been so for a long damn time. Nothing else matters.”

  I’m about to bite his head off because he doesn’t know anything about our past but he cuts me off by holding his hand up.

  “There’s a reason they call it the past. Leave it there and keep your eyes on the future. What I’m seeing while I’m standing here is a strong and gorgeous woman and an idiot asshole who wants you so bad he can’t cope. Kiss and make up already, you’re freaking the rest of us the fuck out. I’m going to bed. If he pukes, I ain’t cleaning it up and neither should you. Make him do it himself in the morning, that’ll teach him.”

  I’m still stunned by his words while I watch him disappear into the hallway. Shaw groans and turns on the couch.

  “You puke, you clean it up yourself, Shaw,” I grumble and turn on my heels.

  “My precious Val...I fucking love you so damn much it hurts every second of the damn day not to have you as mine.” His voice is strained and the words are a tortured whisper.

  When I turn around Shaw is passed out again and it makes me swallow hard. Maybe I didn’t hear him correctly and it was just something I imagined. The words flow on repeat through my head again, making my eyes burn as a lone tear slides over my cheek.

  I reach out to let my fingertips skim a trail along the side of his face as I whisper, “It’s your love that makes it bearable for me to be alive today.”

  I leave him be and head for my bedroom to get some sleep. So much for getting some sleep, because when I stroll back into the living room after a few restless hours, the couch is empty but I notice a slumped body in the chair outside. Sliding the door open, I take a peek to see if he’s all right.

  “Hey,” I quip, making his head slowly rise to face me.

  “We need to be at the clubhouse in about an hour but I feel like shit.”

  I shouldn’t laugh, but he’s making it really hard not to. “You look like shit too.”

  “Gee, thanks,” Shaw grumbles. “Give me a few hours and I’ll be back to normal.”

  “A few hours? What you need is a good night’s sleep, a shower, a good meal, and a change of clothes. Maybe then you’ll feel back to normal. But since you’re in a rush to get back to the clubhouse, let me make you a cup of coffee so you and Morgan can be on your way.” I take a step to get back into the house but his words prevent me from doing so.

  “We as in you and I, Val.” He lifts his tired body from the chair and his bloodshot eyes hit mine. “They wouldn’t tell me much last night but from what I’ve heard is that Zerox is trying to find out who sold Hoffa the information he needed to blackmail you.”

  Ice fills my veins and snaps me back into reality. There’s no such thing as leaving things in the past. No matter what, it will always find a way to come back to haunt you when you least expect it.

  “We’ll take my car,” I tell him and stalk back into the house to get ready.

  Why? Why does this have to happen now? Haven’t we been through enough? He’s right to track this down. Did he track this down? I’m guessing his friends continued this investigation since I for sure never even gave a second thought to how Hoffa might have gotten the information he was trying to blackmail me with.

  I mean, I didn’t even believe Hoffa had any information. In the end he did since Shaw almost paid the price with his life to make sure it never saw the light of day. And now he casually says we need to head over to the clubhouse because they are trying to track down the one who sold Hoffa the information?

  Sold. As in this person knowingly accepted payment for shit to blackmail me with. Did this person make copies? Are there still copies out there? Dammit, I made sure everything was destroyed in that building all those years ago, how is it even possible to have any evidence to blackmail me?

  “Don’t stress about it,” Shaw easily supplies from behind me, making me practically jump out of my skin because I was stuck in my own mind. “Christ, Val, it’s just me.”

  We lock eyes and there’s so much emotion bouncing between us. I want to step forward and hide to seek shelter in his muscled arms and yet it scares me to surrender to the way I’m drawn to him. Maybe it’s the fear of rejection since I know he has issues with touching.

  My heart speeds up when he takes a step closer. His head slowly leans in and I’m afraid to take my next breath. Anxious to see what he’s doing, I find myself rooted to the floor. His breath is hot against my skin when he closes the distance and ever so gently feathers his lips against mine. Electricity sparks and a gasp rips from me as my body fills with heat.

  Shaw takes a step back and his eyes are dilated, filled with desire and lust. He swallows hard and croaks, “I won’t ever let anything happen to you again. Not when I finally have the guts to move forward.”

  “You kissed me,” I whisper.

  He just stands there and gives me a nod.

  “You. Kissed. Me,” I squeak, a little louder this time.

  “Sure did, and I plan on doing it frequently. Though not right now ‘cause my mouth tastes funny and I already brushed my teeth but that didn’t do any good either.” He rubs a hand over the back of his neck. “Fucking hangover.”

  “Screw your hangover, you freaking kissed me! So, now what?”

  Holy shit. I run a billion dollar company and have stood in front of ruthless businessmen trying to take me and my company down, and I didn’t so much as blink but now? This damn moment? I’m squeaking like a little girl, and I’m fussing over a kiss. A kiss from a man rooted in my heart but encapsulated by the trauma we both suffered.

  “Now we move forward. And I’d like to say we do it without looking back, but it’s inevitable when we need to backtrack and make sure the past stays in the past. But you and I are going to happen. We will learn our ways.”

  “Learn our ways,” I echo.

  He takes a step forward again and leans in to place his lips right next to my ear as he whispers on a hot breath, “Our ways, gorgeous. All the fucking ways.”

  He spins around and heads for the door but stops. “I think it might be best if you pack an overnight bag. I don’t know what they are going to tell us and we might have to spend the night at the clubhouse.”

  To distract myself I rush off to my bedroom. I grab a bag from my closet and start to throw in a few things. It did nothing to calm down my raging mind as I walk back into the living room twenty minutes later and throw my bag down.

  “You can’t just do that,” I snap, as if we didn’t have a short break in our discussion.

  Morgan is bouncing his gaze from me to Shaw while Shaw just freaking shrugs. “I don’t see why not. I finally grabbed a hammer and a few nails and made sure my ducks are, and will fucking stay, in a row.”

  Morgan chuckles and I shoot him a death glare, making him instantly shut up so I can direct my attention back to Shaw. “Unsnap those ducks because you might be ready, but I’m not. And all of this—”

  Shaw steps closer and cuts me off. “I’m not ready either, but if there’s anything I’ve learned from almost being ripped from this fucked-up planet is that there never is a good enough time to be ready for anything. So, we’re doing this right fucking now. Morgan, get her bag and bring the SUV around.”

  We�
��re staring at each other in silence until the door falls shut behind Morgan.

  “This is where it all starts,” Shaw says. “Remember this moment where we’re standing in front of each other knowing we’re moving forward. I never stopped loving you. I kept track of your every move through all the years. There hasn’t been a woman able to touch me the way you have a hold on me. And as fucking scared as I am at failing you, I’m equally scared of giving myself to you. Fuck,” he bellows and covers his face with his hands as he mutters, “I’m not making sense, am I?”

  My heart is thumping in overdrive. He took the first step a moment ago, taking another one just now. This whole thing could go two steps forward and one step back but I can’t keep lying to myself. I want him. I want this intense relationship we once had back. I need there to be an us as much as he longs for it too.

  Swallowing hard I do the one thing I know would put the both of us instantly on edge. Maybe it’s too soon—too fast—but I’ve always been one to be all hands on, and I think it’s time to reach out and grab hold. And I do. Shaw sucks in a harsh breath when I wrap my fingers around his wrists and pull his hands away from his face.

  Emotions thick, patience thin. Hunger vivid while hesitation is bubbling at the surface. I push through every heightened feeling and lean in to take a hint of the pleasure I felt when Shaw did the same and connect our lips swiftly yet firm before pulling back completely.

  “We start this, there’s no going back, understand? Fully in, the both of us,” I demand.

  Our chests are rising and falling in a rapid rhythm.

  “Fully in,” he echoes. “Let’s go and get this shit over with. And just so you know.” He points a finger in my face. “I will be cutting up the food at least once a week and you’re not going to complain or glare at me when the chunks are uneven.”

  I throw my hands in the air and growl, “Fine.”

  Internally I’m smiling and cringing simultaneously. He knows how badly the struggle for me is with these little things, and in some way, it compares to our situation. The give and take part is crucial and a first step. Nothing is ever perfect nor should it be and acceptance is a huge part of it, I know it all too well.

  He shoots me a smirk and opens the door for me when we approach the SUV. Morgan is behind the wheel and Shaw is in the front. I’d managed to snatch my laptop bag on my way out and from the backseat I can answer some emails before we arrive at the clubhouse.

  I’m still working when I hear Shaw’s voice from beside me. “Wrap it up, Val.”

  “Give me a moment,” I snap, somewhat harshly since I’m engrossed in this email I have to finish.

  “You already got a moment when I asked you nicely two fucking times and I’m done being nice,” he snaps back.

  I tear my eyes away and growl, “Don’t push me.”

  A smirk slides on his face. “Gorgeous, if I was pushing you, you would fucking feel it.”

  I slam my laptop closed and jump out of the SUV. I’m about to rip him a new asshole but the laughter of two people stops me.

  There’s a woman standing to the side with dirty blonde hair, around the age of forty, or older since she’s looking good for her age. Next to her is an inked-up man around the same age wearing a leather cut with different patches than the Wicked Throttle MC ones.

  “They are almost as bad as we are,” the woman says.

  The man next to her smiles and kisses the top of her head. “No one compares to us, Hotlips.”

  She beams up at him. “So very true.”

  Since the argument between us fell flat, I grab my laptop and stash it in its bag before I head for the clubhouse. Shaw follows close behind me when Morgan holds the door open for us. We stroll inside, the two other people trailing along with us.

  Zerox stalks toward the inked-up man and offers his hand for him to shake. “Deeds, thanks so much for coming over. Appreciate it.”

  The man gives him an easy smile in return and shakes his hand. “Always a pleasure. Even more when it concerns a case as fucked-up as this one. You mentioned there was an old lady involved?”

  Zerox turns to me. “Valentina, I’d like you to meet Deeds, president of Broken Deeds MC, and his old lady, Lynn.”

  We all shake hands with warm, welcoming smiles. Zerox ushers all of us inside the room they call church.

  “I’m suggesting the five of us discuss this first before we choose how to handle this further,” Zerox says but he’s addressing Shaw.

  Chapter Five

  Beecher

  “You’re telling me those two fuckers who kidnapped us had some auxiliary storage space somewhere where everything they did had a back-up?” I growl, not believing the shit I’m hearing.

  Deeds nods. “That’s correct. And from what we found out, the ones who kidnapped you? It wasn’t their first time either. Our computer tech team managed to track things down to one location. The storage space was destroyed and the woman who owned it was murdered. Her murder was never solved but I’m getting the feeling by the other information we obtained that we are dealing with a well setup chain who deals in snuff films.”

  The explanation Deeds is giving lights up rage inside me. His MC has a contract with the government. They solve cold cases or cases that are hard to crack. They have free reign to deal with everything as they see fit to close a case and bring justice.

  I’ve heard of these guys and they have a hard-ass reputation, but they always get the job done. I don’t know how Zerox pulled it off to get them involved but I sure as fuck am grateful he did.

  “Is my old lady still at risk?” I ask, needing to know Val is safe. I don’t even care about myself; she comes first.

  Deeds shakes his head and points at Val. “That’s your old lady, right? The one Zerox gave the details about?”

  I give him a tight nod and he continues. “She’s in the clear, no matter what happened or what evidence someone might have on you and your old lady. It wouldn’t mean shit since we’re handling the case from here on out.” His eyes slide to Val. “Like I said, you don’t have to worry about anyone blackmailing you concerning this shit, it’s in the past and nothing can touch you. We already made sure it’s in black and white in the report my son, Archer, just handed back to the government. That goes for the both of you.”

  My throat clogs and I don’t even know what to say, but Zerox takes over. “What’s going to happen next?”

  Deeds gives Zerox his full attention. “I put the whole MC on this case since the information we obtained showed these fuckers are still active. We will connect all the dots and take these fuckers out once and for all. I will keep you updated but not much information will flow your way. It’s our case, meaning you’re placed on a need to know basis. But I do think these two need to be put in some kind of lockdown or double security. We’re going to start poking around in shit they are connected to. I’m pretty sure not many of those fuckers’ victims survived so poking around means they are bound to find out these two started something, putting both Valentina and Beecher at risk.”

  “I have to be able to do my work,” Val states, concern lacing her words and by the spark of fear in her eyes I know her concern isn’t fully about her work.

  I place my hand right next to hers on the table, the heat of our hands mingling, and I hate the fact I still have a blockage against touching what’s mine.

  “I’ll make sure you get to be able to keep working, all of us will,” I tell her.

  She nods and gives me a thankful smile. My heart speeds up when she connects our fucking pinkies as if we’re kids, making a pinky promise.

  Lynn clears her voice, making all eyes land on her as she addresses Val. “I hate to bring this up but does anyone in your circle of friends, acquaintances, employees, whoever, raise suspicions in their actions or activities concerning you? Or those who have a twisted sense of sexual interest for that matter since we’re looking for a connection. We don’t think you were targeted for blackmail because they suddenly found foot
age. We think it was timed by them to start getting a rise out of you, push you their way or whatever.”

  I can sense her whole body going rigid. “I will thoroughly go over everyone connected to me and make a list for you.”

  Lynn’s well-groomed eyebrow raises. “A list, huh? Do you have a lot of potential suspects who might want to target you?”

  Val doesn’t even blink when she easily supplies, “I have been active in the BDSM scene for a few years. There are a few people who don’t appreciate the lifestyle and some who do, but are sometimes envious enough to plan revenge.”

  I take a deep breath and slide my fingers over her hand to turn it and lace our fingers together. She sat by my hospital bed for weeks, took me into the safety of her own home to take care of me. I owe her and myself to push through, and I damn well will.

  There is also no need for her to defend or be ashamed of the lifestyle she enjoyed to get what she wanted. What she needed to keep some kind of control. Everyone functions differently and this strong woman found relief in channeling her anger and frustrations through play.

  You might say she’s a saint compared to me and my actions since I wasn’t any better with tying down women because I can’t stand to be touched. And when I found relief for mere seconds it turned into repulsion leading me to puke my guts out afterwards. Every. Single. Time.

  Zerox eyes the movement of our linked hands and I see relief flare in his expression. Asshole. As if he thought all was lost between us. Last night my brothers kicked my ass enough to shake some sense into me. Like I said, I’m not giving up and Val and I will find our way.

  Lynn turns to Deeds. “Archer did mention this might be a link.”

  “We have to check out the more hardcore Doms, one of them might have an easy link if they are active in the scene and have easy money access. Who knows if there’s a fucker stupid enough not to hide all these connections, he might be even working for some kind of IT company,” Deeds muses and nods as he thinks over his own words.

  My fingers are almost getting crushed by the way Val is gripping my hand.