The Graceland Tales

by Donna D. Prescott

  LINDA THE HUMANITARIAN WORKER: Boy, howdy, in today’s world, Kirk’s comments about ego and narcissism in his story are painfully relevant.

  HUBERT: The father of our country, George Washington, possessed many noble qualities, but if you dig deeply enough, you find feet of clay. He helped set our fledgling country on its flight to independence. He fought to establish many of the freedoms Americans enjoy today. Yet, he was a philanderer. He had an affair with a married woman before he married Martha. Rumor has it that various matrons in the American Colonies ‘entertained’ Washington.

  DMITRI THE HACKER: Yes. You find ‘George Washington slept here’ signs all over. (Snickers sough around the coach.)

  HUBERT: Like Adam, the Father of all Mankind, the Father of our Country was tempted into sin by a woman, or women, the weaker sex, his legacy tainted. Not only was he lustful, but greedy, also. During the Revolutionary War, he took advantage of soldiers who were paid for their service with land vouchers, ending up with a lot of land for himself at the expense of the soldiers. He distilled whiskey and put poor moonshiners out of business to protect his own interests, as well. Talk about capitalism! He was no role model.

  BELLA THE ACADEMIC: As much as things change, they remain the same.

  HUBERT: He made his mark in American history but I would not want to be his confessor. The sins of the Father of our Country haunt us to this day. He wasn’t alone in his weakness. His contemporary, Thomas Jefferson, was no better than Washington. In fact, he was worse, hiding behind a veneer of political smoke and mirrors. Our founding fathers brought forth a nation on questionable morals. Jefferson may have claimed that all men were created equal, but he was a hypocrite regarding slavery and fathered several children with that slave woman, Sally Hemings. He let his more noble mind be clouded by lust and polluted his blood with slave blood.

  (FRANKLIN THE REAL ESTATE MAGNATE stands. BLANCHE THE LAWYER does not try to stop him.)

  FRANKLIN: Now wait just a minute. As a Catholic bishop, you should be teaching inclusion, racial equality. Jefferson’s real transgression was in owning enslaved people and taking advantage, not in mixing races. After all, Sally Hemings was not there of her own accord. Thankfully, the enslaved were emancipated in 1863 and the Supreme Court finally ruled interracial marriage legal in 1967. There is nothing ‘polluted’ about my marriage to Blanche and the possibility that we might have children together. This is just trash talk.

  BLANCHE: (standing) It’s unbelievable in this day and age that Franklin and I should have to defend our love.

  HUBERT: (sighs) You misunderstand me. I support your right to marry. I, myself, have officiated at many interracial marriages. My point here is that Thomas Jefferson was a noble man who fell into sin, led astray by lust for a slave. It has nothing to do with your marriage.

  (FRANKLIN and BLANCHE exchange a skeptical look.)

  FRANKLIN: I’m not totally buying your explanation, Father, but we’ll let it go for now. (They sit.)

  HUBERT: In those early days of colonization, well before Washington and Jefferson appeared as leaders, greedy people, the men and women, of Salem, Massachusetts, went against God. Even before America declared its independence, the people of Salem exhibited disregard for human decency and morality. In uncertain times—times of sickness and famine and fear of the American Indians—people were readily swayed to hysteria, blaming witchcraft for what was truly human greed. Innocent people were wrongly accused and executed most likely in an attempt at land grabs. But it was the jealous, backbiting women and girls who allowed this travesty to move forward. The very mothers of the community led the citizens down the briar-filled path to perdition.

  Much later in American history, Joseph McCarthy used similar tactics in his Red Scare. In the name of national security, McCarthy ruined the careers of innumerable people, set friend against friend, colleague against colleague, to root out this supposed menace, communism, which he claimed threatened the very foundation of the democracy that our supposedly illustrious founding fathers established. Finally, calmer minds prevailed and this monster was exposed and brought down.

  BLANCHE: (whispers back to BELLA) At least he didn’t blame McCarthyism on women.

  HUBERT: Joseph McCarthy was born of woman. What more need I say? (BLANCHE and BELLA both roll their eyes.)

  HUBERT: Speaking of monsters, one cannot discuss modern history and ignore Adolf Hitler, the most evil man of modern history. Even though he was German, his evil affected many Americans and still does to this day. I shudder to think how different history would be if he had been accepted to art school in Vienna. He could have fed his monstrous ego in less evil ways. If he had married instead of keeping a mistress for many years, he would have been a less evil man. If he had lived in holy matrimony instead of holing up with that woman, Eva Braun, he would not have become such a monster, a force of evil.

  ADAM THE SENATOR’S AIDE: But he did marry her at the end.

  HUBERT: Too late, too late. An object lesson perhaps for all these young women today who cohabitate with men and have children outside of holy matrimony. While women have enticed great men to sinful ways, some women have been the personification of evil themselves. Ma Barker had four sons whom she encouraged and helped to become lawless men. That woman was so unprincipled that her husband left her, abandoned his own castle, allowing her to raise those boys as thieves and killers, brutal people with no conscience. She provided refuge for them as they wreaked their havoc and encouraged them as they planned new atrocities.

  Bonnie Parker was just as evil as Ma Barker. Ladies, neither one of these women could be a role model for young women. Certainly, their lives provide an object lesson in how not to conduct a righteous life. She married but never divorced before she took up with Clyde Barrow. They wallowed in adultery and fornication.

  BELLA: (whispers over her seat to BLANCHE) I’d rather have Bonnie Parker as a daughter or friend than some brainless female robot.

  BLANCHE: (whispers) Stepford Wives. Unbelievable.

  HUBERT: You women can scoff all you want, but the erosion of family values has eaten away at the moral fabric of our great country.

  SENATOR PAM: Hubert, you seem to be arguing for a return to the traditional family of 1950’s television—‘Leave It to Beaver’ and ‘Father Knows Best’ for example. I’m not seeing many fallen heroes in your stories. In my interaction with my constituency, I’ve seen some single parent families that put many traditional families to shame.

  HUBERT: I see your point, Senator. My ‘constituency,’ as it were, also has its share of dysfunctional families. But I speak of those who had the opportunity to be role models but fell. Consider, also, the sex pots of the entertainment industry, such as Mae West and Marilyn Monroe. Mae West lived a sexually promiscuous lifestyle and encouraged such a lifestyle through her vaudeville shows. Marilyn Monroe, a sultry seductress, married numerous times. These women are responsible—at least partially—for the break-up of the American family. How can husbands stay faithful with women like these in the public eye?

  KIRK THE EVANGELIST: Amen, brother. (HUBERT fixes KIRK with a glare.)

  JOYCE THE EVANGELIST’S WIFE: The actresses and female singers of today are even worse. Homewreckers, all.

  KING ARTHUR A TECHIE: Man, Hubert, you’re sounding just like Chaucer’s Monk with his antifeminism and cautionary tales. Brutal. (HUBERT ignores this comment.)

  HUBERT: The Catholic Church has taken a beating in the past several years with its sex abuse scandal, but look at the legacy of some big names in the Protestant tradition, Jim Bakker, Jerry Falwell, and Jimmy Swaggart, to name a few, all led astray by immoral women. Swaggart still surfaces in the news occasionally. They were supposed to be shepherds leading their flocks but they led them down the primrose path—not to salvation. Try as they might, they could not get the better of their worser selves. (KIRK’S demeanor darkens, even in the dim light of the coach.) In my own experience as a confessor, I could tell stories that could stupefy the publi
c. Some men think the golf course is their own private confessional. Oh, the stories I’ve heard! Why, just the other day …

  Sean stands and grabs Hubert’s elbow. “Sir,” he says, “No more, please. These stories are much more than our traveling companions want or need to hear.”

  “What Sean says is true, Hubert,” Senator Pam says, “And we need to note that the problems of the world throughout history are not the sole responsibility of women.”

  “For centuries, the Catholic Church has portrayed women either as Virgins, like Mary the Mother of Jesus, or as wanton seducers, like Eve in the Garden of Eden. There is middle ground, you know,” says King Arthur.

  “With the sex scandals in the Catholic Church currently in the news, I think we need to change the subject to something more uplifting and less divisive. Currently, our nation is having an identity crisis, like an adolescent going through puberty on an atomic level. We need not to look back at the negative but to look forward and fight for positive change and celebrate the advances we have made,” Senator Pam says.

  “Like, our nation’s identity crisis is partly due to the confused youth of today. The lack of role models for them, like, leads them to make bad decisions. Popular sports figures and millionaire actors who have, like, managers to clean up after them are not doing kids today any favors,” Sandra the Senator’s Daughter says.

  “The sex scandals in sports are basically the same as the sex scandals in the Catholic Church. And the #MeToo Movement has shined a light on sexual abuse in various industries that was accepted, hidden, or ignored for decades. It’s the cover-up that’s unacceptable. Are the priests who took advantage of boys any worse morally than Jerry Sandusky or Larry Nassar? Karl Marx said that religion is the opium of the masses, but can’t we also say that about sports?” asks Adam the Senator’s Aide.

  “That’s true going back even as far as Classical times. In Chaucer’s Knight’s Tale, wrestling and jousting are part of the funeral rites for Arcite,” I say.

  “Just think, though, that in his time Elvis was considered a bad influence on teenagers,” says Linda the Humanitarian Worker. “Elvis the Pelvis. How innocent he seems compared to some videos you see on YouTube today or some rap lyrics.”

  “But what duty do the rich and famous have to set a good example?” asks Franklin the Real Estate Magnate. “Don’t they have a right to a private life?”

  “Yes, but they also have an obligation, noblesse oblige, to serve as role models,” I say. “Take George and Amal Clooney, for instance. They adopted a basset hound from an animal shelter. They could afford to buy any dog they wanted, but they helped out the less fortunate dogs.”

  “Other celebrities also do good things—for people. They support environmental causes and build hospitals for needy children and things like that,” says Rene/e the Transgender Woman. “Not all celebrities are self-absorbed narcissists.”

  “Isn’t America supposed to be the Land of Opportunity? Hubert tried to make a point about corrupt people throughout American history, but what about the American dream?” says King Arthur. “Some of my techie colleagues came to America to pursue opportunities they never would have in their home countries.”

  “But those opportunities don’t always work out,” says Jack the Immigrant Merchant. “I came here because I heard that Americans have endless opportunities. They live in big houses and drive big cars and make lots of money. I bought books and read about success in America.” He holds up his Business English text. “I came from Wuhan, a city of success in China. I expected to have bigger success in America. But I’ve had to struggle here. I work many hours a day for little money. I’m an honest man. I work hard to start a business so I can bring my family here, but it is hard.”

  “The American Dream used to be to have a comfortable life, not excessive—a house with a picket fence, a station wagon, backyard barbecues, a dog,” says John the Pastor.

  “But now, the get-rich-quick mentality has taken over. King Arthur says his colleagues came to the States for opportunities that they would not have overseas, but what do they want here in the tech sector?” asks Ernest the Businessman. After a short pause, Ernest says, “Sir Kay, you came here from India. What do you want in America?”

  “I want to get rich quick. If you know what you’re doing and have some luck, if you’re in the right place at the right time, you can make good money fast in the tech industry,” says Sir Kay, “That’s how people like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs made it big—savvy and timing.”

  “But at what cost? How many hours a day do you work? What kind of social life do you have? I’ll bet you don’t throw backyard barbecues,” says Blanche the Lawyer.

  “Why buy a big house if you’re never there? Why drive a luxury car if you spend most of your time at work?” asks Linda the Humanitarian Worker.

  “Jay Gatsby wanted to get rich quick in bootlegging so he could impress a woman and look what happened to him,” Franklin the Real Estate Magnate says. “He took the fall for his married lover and was murdered by a jealous husband. That’s not the American way.”

  “Yes, but the point is that in America, I have the opportunity to take chances that I can’t take in China,” says Lance-bot a Techie.

  “Even though I will go back to my country,” says Gita, “I have enjoyed freedoms here that I do not have in India.”

  At this point, Theresa stands and clears her throat. “We’re getting near Carbondale, where have a brief stop. Your tales and our conversation have been intriguing, but now would be a good time to get some rest before Memphis. I want to thank all of you who shared your stories. I’ll remember them as I head off on my personal pilgrimage towards a different stage of life.” Blanche stands and says a few words to Bella. Sean gathers bags from under the seat in front of him. Rose opens her eyes briefly and yawns. Those who are staying in coach start pulling out travel pillows and such. I travel with a big stuffed cat pillow that I settle behind me. Some people turn off their overhead lights. I hear soft murmuring and rustling of people getting comfortable.

  Suddenly, the train whistle sounds, the brakes slam on, and people fall out of their seats. Those standing are tossed about with purses and messenger bags falling from overhead, creating a sad salad dressed with fear. Then, the explosive screech of engine hitting metal fills the coach. I hear “Oh, my God!” along with some moaning. As the train finally shrieks to a standstill, surprised people begin tentatively moving about. I am thrown against the seat in front of me and end up scrunched on the floor. Gingerly, I swivel my head and then try to pull myself up. My arms and legs both work. I know tomorrow I will be bruised and sore, but nothing seems to be broken.

  Dazedly, fellow travelers move about trying to collect belongings and get off the train. I hear soft weeping and some people making phone calls. Snatches of conversation float around, “The train hit something,” “We’ve been in a wreck,” “I’m OK,” and even “I love you.”

  After I manage to stand, I look around and see that Kirk the Evangelist has banged his head against the window and is bewildered. He has his hands up where the impact occurred. Joyce the Evangelist’s Wife is scrounging around her seat, confused, not finding whatever it is she is looking for. John the Pastor gently steps around her and tends to Kirk. “Just sit still, Brother. Help should be on the way. Let me pray with you,” and they bow their heads together. John begins, “Dear Heavenly Father ….”

  John’s wife has moved to the door to help guide people off the train. Joyce moves into the aisle to make room for John, clutching her purse, not a strand of her hair out of place. Dwight the Lay Minister, still in his seat asks, “Are you hurt?” Joyce looks at Kirk huddled, still praying, with John and then at Dwight. “I don’t know. I don’t know.” Dwight stands—his wide tie askew—quickly swipes his left sleeve across his nose, and puts his right arm around Joyce. “Come on. Let’s get off the train.”

  “But what about Kirk?” Kirk looks at Joyce, blankly.

  “Brother John will
take care of him. Let’s you and me get off the train.”

  Joyce looks to Kirk, who now stares at the seat in front of him with unseeing eyes. “Let’s go now,” Dwight urges, tugging at her elbow. “We’ll find Kirk later. We need to get off the train now.” Joyce nods and lets Dwight lead her away. John watches them leave the train and says to their backs, “God loves you.”

  I manage to find my satchel and overnight bag and join the line of people exiting the train. The wreck has jolted Rose the Waitress out of her drunken haze. She seems unhurt, thanks to Oriel the Hotel Manager, who has her arms wrapped around Rose, Oriel’s café-au-lait skin in contrast to Rose’s snow white pallor.

  By this time emergency vehicles start arriving. People huddle in groups beside the train. Emergency workers board to tend to those who cannot or should not walk off. I see John accompany Kirk, strapped to a board, to an ambulance and hop in. He looks around, perhaps hoping one last time that Joyce will step up before the ambulance takes off.

  I also see Ernest the Businessman carried off the train on a board. I hear Joyce sniff, “That bad man. The Lord is punishing him for taking advantage of innocent people.” I turn to her. “Your husband is also hurt. Is he being punished, too?”

  “Oh, goodness, no! This is a test of his faith. The Lord doesn’t give Christians more than they can bear. Kirk’s faith will be stronger once he heals. He’ll be a stronger witness for the Lord when we return to our church and ministry.” Dwight squeezes Joyce’s shoulders and says, “Amen.” I move away.