Didn't Stay in Vegas

by Chelsea M. Cameron

  “Vegas, chill out,” I said, and he looked at me with confusion. “The barking is not helping. See, it’s okay now.” The smell of burned things was starting to dissipate as Emma leaned on the counter.

  “This is exactly what I was hoping to avoid. I never should have kissed you and started this. I should have left things alone.” I went to her and pulled her into my arms. Her hair smelled like burned chicken. Mine probably smelled like burned shrimp. At least I wasn’t the only one who had screwed up dinner. I was still starving, but comforting Emma was more important right now.

  “To be fair, I kissed you back. I’m not really sure how the sex started, but it did start and I wanted it. I just don’t know what that means. Does it mean that my feelings for you are more than platonic? Does it mean I just really needed to get laid? I don’t know, Emma. I need to figure it out and I don’t know how to do that. I even looked at some self-help books at the library today, but they were way too heterosexual.” I pulled back and made a face and she laughed. She was crying again too.

  “Everything is way too heterosexual.”

  “True.”

  We stared at each other again and it was as if the earth had taken a breath and decided to pause on its axis to give us this chance to look at each other.

  “Let’s order pizza and just be us. Let’s be Callyn and Emma again,” I said, running my fingers through her hair and wiping her tears with my fingers. She sniffed.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Let’s find out.” The only way out was through, and we were going to get through this. We’d already walked through fire together, our hands clasped tight to one another. This was an obstacle we could overcome.

  At least that was what I was going to keep telling myself.

  Twelve

  We did end up ordering pizza, but we also finished making the kale salads so at least we didn’t have to order those.

  “Who knew that potatoes would be good on pizza?” I asked, as I went for my third piece. The toppings also included scallions, bacon, and ranch dressing. Don’t knock it until you try it.

  “These people did, that’s for sure,” Emma said. We had a trashy reality show on that we’d seen already, but still loved to watch and mock and enjoy.

  Vegas was asleep again. He seemed to only have two settings and I wondered if that would change as he got older. I kind of hoped that it didn’t, but we weren’t sure how big he was going to get, and I couldn’t imagine his energy inside a bigger dog. Right now he was just a tiny menace.

  Emma picked at her salad and I could tell she was having difficulty with trying to be how we used to be. It would take practice and I didn’t want to leave her hanging either. I was going to figure this shit out. I watched her eat her pizza and asked myself if I was in love with her and it was like my brain made a popping noise and broke. Like thinking about her was too much for me to handle and I overloaded every time I tried. Maybe writing it down would work? I was going to try that when I was alone in bed tonight.

  “Can you stop staring at me?” she asked, and I blinked and realized that I had been staring at her.

  “Sorry. I was lost in thought.”

  “What kind of thoughts?” She pulled a thin slice of potato off the pizza and ate it. I’d never seen Emma disassemble her food before. That was something I usually did.

  “Can we not do this right now? I just want to have dinner with you and watch crappy TV and talk like we always talk. I need time, Emma. I just need time.” Pleading entered my voice and now my emotions were threatening to spill over.

  I was completely overwhelmed.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, sniffling a little and then starting to dismantle another piece of pizza.

  “I’m sorry too. This is just a weird situation and you’ve been thinking about it for years and years and I’ve been thinking of it for less than twenty-four hours. I need time to catch up. Time to breathe. Time to think.” She nodded and stared at her pizza.

  “Do you need that time away from me?” Her voice quivered and I realized that was one thing she was afraid of. That I was going to bail on her.

  “No. Definitely not. I just need time away from all that to get my shit together. You know me, it takes longer than most.” I didn’t think I’d ever feel like I had my shit together. Maybe when I was eighty, and I would celebrate that day. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Em.” I reached out and squeezed her foot.

  “Good,” she said, and then folded the pizza in half and shoved most of it in her mouth. Guess we were good. Vegas woke up with a yip, as if he was upset to be awake. Same, puppy. Same.

  WE FINISHED OUR PIZZA and were lounged on the couch when Emma started tilting her head from side to side and rubbing the back of her neck with her fingers.

  “Do you need some help over there?” I asked.

  “No, I’m good. I just have a little stress hanging out in my neck.” Yeah, no wonder.

  “Come on, turn around.” I motioned for her to do so and she scooted so her back was facing me.

  “Hold on just a second,” I said, hopping up and running to my room. I came back with some CBD moisturizer and a little bottle of lavender essential oil. I mixed the two in my palms and started rubbing her neck and shoulders. I had to move her shirt aside and this would have been a lot easier if she was wearing a tank top. Or nothing at all.

  This might have been a mistake. As soon as I started rubbing and digging into her muscles and feeling how warm and soft her skin was and hearing the little sounds of pleasure she made, I was instantly turned on and feeling pretty uncomfortable in my downstairs area. Even my nipples were tingling and I didn’t think that was a thing. I thought it was made up.

  “That feels really good,” Emma said, and I tried to focus on rubbing the knots out of her neck without moving my hands lower or ripping off her shirt. I wanted to do both of those things more than I wanted to breathe right now.

  Emma leaned back against me and leaned her head forward to give me more access to her neck.

  “This would be easier if you took your shirt off,” I blurted out. That was a thought that was supposed to stay in my head. Oops?

  “Okay,” she said, and a second later she wasn’t wearing a shirt. She had a bra on, so that was a blessing, or a curse, depending. I gasped a little and choked on some of my own saliva that flooded my mouth as if Emma was something delicious I wanted to devour.

  “Everything okay?” she asked, looking at me over her shoulder. She had an innocent look, but I wasn’t fooled. She was trying to seduce me, and I was going to let her. After that talk of giving me space, Emma was using her wiles on me. I had to admire her shamelessness.

  “Yup, fine,” I said, managing to clear my throat and start my lungs working again. I’d seen Emma in a bra many, many times before, but never under quite these circumstances.

  I put my fingers on her skin and she leaned into me more, begging for my fingers to touch her.

  “I’m just going to move this,” I said. Two could play this game. I could seduce her right back. I’d never thought of myself as a seductress, but whatever I’d done last time had worked, so I was going to go with this. I didn’t want to be the only one who was uncomfortable.

  I dug my fingers into her muscles, really working hard to get rid of the tension she stored there. She moaned and I just massaged harder. Good to know that she didn’t mind if I treated her like a piece of clay I was mad at.

  I put more lotion and oil on my hands and moved to her other shoulder, even though she hadn’t asked me to work on that one. She wasn’t complaining. My fingers moved further down her back, and she leaned forward to give me better access.

  “This is getting in my way, so I’m going to take it off,” I said, and gave her a minute to protest before I undid the hooks on her bra and pushed it out of my way. She let the straps fall fully down her arms and then pulled it all the way off. This moment had certainly escalated and I wondered which one of us was going to tap out first, or
if that would even happen. Not going to lie, I was ready for sex again. Sure, I’d said I needed time to think about what my feelings were, but I could also do that while fucking Emma. I was a multi-tasker.

  I moved lower and lower on Emma’s back until there wasn’t anywhere else for me to go so I went back up and she looked at me again.

  “Touch me,” she said. I held up my hands.

  “What have I been doing this whole time?” Thanks a lot, Emma. You’re welcome for the massage.

  “No, I want you to touch me in other places.” She’d dropped the stealth and was playing her hand.

  “What places? You’re going to have to be very specific, because I might end up touching your nose if you don’t give me the right direction.” I stroked her nose with a finger and she inhaled shakily.

  “Is it weird that’s turning me on?” she asked. I laughed.

  “Do you have something for noses? I bet we can pull up some nose porn if you’re into that.” She pretended to gag.

  “No, thank you. I’m good. But I would rather have you touching some places other than my nose.” She turned and we were face-to-face on the couch and I saw her in all her topless glory. Her tits really were ideal. Round and heavy and perfect.

  “I’m going to need some direction, or I’m going for your nose again,” I said, raising one finger and going at her with it.

  “No, don’t you dare!” I tackled her and started booping her nose repeatedly.

  “Is this turning you on? Is this turning you on?” I asked as she laughed and squirmed under me. This position was really making her boobs move and I was mesmerized. I stopped poking her nose and stared down at her.

  “See something you like?” she asked.

  “Two somethings. Yes, I like them very much. Too much, probably.” Without her even asking, I stroked one of her breasts. I couldn’t resist.

  “Was this what you wanted me to touch?” Her eyes closed and she arched into me.

  “Yes, please, yes.” That was a good enough answer for me. I wanted to put lotion on her and give her another massage, but I also wanted to lick her all over, and that probably wouldn’t taste good, so I refrained. They probably made edible lotion, but I didn’t have any on hand. I made a mental note to look it up later. Much later.

  “Is this interfering with your thinking?” she asked, as I lightly squeezed one of her breasts and then pinched one nipple. She made a little yelping noise of pleasure.

  “Not at all,” I said. “Not at all.” I played and teased her nipples and soaked in her sounds of pleasure. I could pretty much do this all the time for the rest of my life and be happy. This was like grown-up sensory play. Plus, she enjoyed it, so there was that bonus. I loved making her feel good. I felt like I’d wasted too much time not touching her this way and I had to make up for it.

  “I love it when you touch me like this. And I love the look on your face. Like I’m the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.” I smiled down at her and swirled my finger around her belly button.

  “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” She smiled back at me and my heart felt too hot and too large to fit in my chest. I wasn’t lying or exaggerating or flattering her. She was. I’d always thought so. I’d always been a little jealous of how gorgeous she was and wished I could look like her.

  “Thank you,” she said. Instead of arguing with me, or pointing out her own flaws, she just thanked me. That was something I needed to work on. I was awful at accepting compliments.

  “I can’t believe we’re doing this again,” I said. I mean, I could. I’d been thinking about it happening since it had happened last night. Had it only been one day? Time was a construct, so maybe it was more time than that. Or less. Who cared? It didn’t matter, only now mattered.

  “This wasn’t my plan,” she said, taking one of my hands and entwining our fingers. She brought my hand to her mouth and kissed it.

  “It wasn’t? With that whole performance about the stiff neck? I mean, come on. How much porn have you seen?” She raised one dark eyebrow.

  “How much porn have you seen?” I really wanted to know what kind of porn she watched all of a sudden. She hadn’t told me last night and now I wanted to know.

  “My fair share. Sometimes I need a little stimulation, you know?” I did. In fact, I usually needed something like porn to really get myself in the sexy mindset. My ADHD brain needed something to focus on so I wasn’t bouncing all around to other things and never having an orgasm. Porn was focus for me.

  “What kind of porn do you watch?” I asked, and her cheeks got red. “Is it something . . . interesting?” I didn’t want to kinkshame her at all. But I was definitely going to be a little hesitant if what got her off was like . . . blueberry girl porn, which was something I wish I had never looked up on the internet.

  “Like, is it something I would be ashamed to tell you about?” she asked, and I nodded. “I don’t think so? You wanna look at my search history?” Not really. All this talk of porn was riling me up and I wanted to be fucking rather than talking about watching other people fucking.

  “We can chat about it post-coitus,” I said.

  “So there’s going to be coitus?” she asked.

  “Uh, yes? I mean, unless you don’t want there to be. But I figure that was where this was going. Did you want to stop?”

  Emma shook her head.

  “No, I don’t want you to stop. But I really want you to take your clothes off. And I’m not sure if I want to do this on the couch. It’s hard to clean cushions.” Good point. So practical, that Emma.

  “Okay, so bedroom? Wanna do yours this time?” Her bed was bigger and nicer than mine. I wanted to screw in luxury.

  “Sure,” she said, and got off the couch. Vegas woke up and started yipping. Emma looked at me in horror.

  “We can’t do anything in front of him. It would be too weird. We don’t want to scar him.” I started laughing as I gathered up every single one of his favorite toys and put them in the corner of the living room with his bed that he never used except for naps.

  “He’s a dog, Em. I’m sure he’s seen humping before.” He was still too young to get fixed, but it was happening as soon as he was old enough. I couldn’t let my dog be a deadbeat dad, abandoning puppies right and left.

  “Still. It just seems wrong.” I made sure to distract Vegas while she picked up her shirt and bra and headed to her bedroom.

  “You coming?” she asked, as I threw the ball for Vegas.

  “Yes, and so will you,” I said, and she rolled her eyes.

  “You’re shameless.”

  “Yes, thank you for noticing.” I followed her into the bedroom and closed the door. Hopefully Vegas was amused or would fall asleep again. I didn’t want any interruptions.

  I leaned my back against the door.

  “So,” I said.

  “So,” she said, facing me. “You going to take your clothes off?”

  “Eventually. I’d rather see you all the way naked first.” She walked closer to me and my mouth got dry at the way she moved. Like she knew what she wanted and she was going to get it. I hoped I was what she wanted.

  “No, I think you should get completely naked first.” She started pulling at the hem of my shirt. I’d changed into more comfortable clothes this afternoon, so I didn’t have much on anyway.

  I closed my eyes and tried to breathe. She had me completely at her mercy as her fingers brushed my belly and she pulled my shirt over my head. I wasn’t wearing a bra. Why bother when it was just the two of us?

  “Mmm, yes, that’s what I wanted to see,” she said, running her hands across my collarbone. “You’re still wearing too much, though.” With one yank, she undid the tie of my shorts and then I was naked before I could say her name.

  “God, your body is so perfect.” She took my hand and led me to the bed and then pushed me down on it. She stood there, watching me, and I wondered if I should be doing anything. I wanted to be sexy, but I didn’t know ho
w.

  “Do you know how hard it was to be in class today? To read about rat castration and try and take notes?” I shuddered.

  “Can you not talk about rat castration when we’re doing stuff like this? It doesn’t really get me in the mood. Does it get you in the mood?” That was a horrifying thought. She laughed and went to turn on her salt lamp, light some candles, and then put on some music.

  “Definitely not. I figured we could take our time and not rush tonight.” We did kind of rush a little last time. But it was our first time together, so that was bound to happen.

  “Slow,” I said.

  “Yes. Slow.” She blew out a match and walked over to me. “So slow you’re going to beg. I’m very much looking forward to hearing you plead.” Holy shit. She was going to kill me. I couldn’t survive this night. Last time I was so caught up in the newness and the shock of it all that I wasn't really thinking about much except freaking out and hoping I didn’t screw anything up or cause her to stop what she was doing. Tonight was different.

  “Why are you doing this to me?” I asked in a hushed voice.

  “Because I can. Because I’ve thought about doing this with you for years and years and I’ve got a lot of ideas and plans and things I’ve been waiting on.” Oh. That made sense. I’d only had a few hours of fantasizing and she’d had years. I felt my entire body go red thinking about her thinking about me.

  “And what did you think about?” I asked, not even sure if I wanted to know the answer.

  “Just about everything,” she said. “Some things more than others. But I want to do nearly everything with you.” My mind caught on one word.

  “Nearly?” I asked as she walked toward me again.

  “I’m sure there are things you wouldn’t want to do. There are things I don’t want to do.” Right now, I was most interested in the things she did want to do.

  “What are you going to do first?” That was the most pressing question. I was still lying on the bed naked, propped up on my elbows so I could watch her.