Heart of Mine

by Lindsay Bergman

  That would be ... unthinkable.

  Chapter Four

  The following night, I nervously fumbled with my hair, wanting it to look just right for my date with Ethan. In the reflection of the bathroom mirror, I saw my mom smile compassionately as her hands took over with my hair.

  She was beautiful, with curly light brown hair and creamy white skin. Her smile was the only physical feature I’d inherited. Personality-wise, we were as similar as two peas in a pod. Both creative and bold, stubborn, with fiery tempers.

  “I can’t believe how quickly the time’s gone by,” Mom murmured, her voice melancholy and hands gentle on my hair. “It seems like just yesterday when you were running around barefoot, climbing up trees and getting into mischief with Alexander. And now here you are, getting all dolled up for your very first date.” Her hand squeezed my shoulder and our eyes met in the reflection of the mirror as she smiled proudly. “You’ve blossomed into such a beautiful young lady, Madison.”

  Pleased by her compliment, I smiled softly and studied my reflection. Deep chocolate brown eyes were set over high cheekbones, and unruly waves of dark hair reached past my shoulder blades. At nearly five-foot-eleven I seemed to tower over most of the girls at my school, and even some of the boys.

  Smiling fondly, my artistic mother generously helped apply my makeup as I rapidly tried to calm my nerves. I had just put on my high-heeled shoes when the phone rang.

  A few minutes later, my mom reappeared in the doorway, her expression grim. “It’s Arianna,” Mom said gravely. “She’s in the hospital.”

  The drive to the hospital passed by in a blur. Before I knew it, I was standing in a hospital room surrounded by sterile white walls and beeping machines.

  Clutching her hand in mine, I stared anxiously down at my best friend. Hooked up to an IV with medicine to numb her pain, she was unusually pale, and her thick hair seemed to lack its usual luster. She grimaced slightly and my grip on her hand tightened.

  Arianna squeezed back in reassurance. “I’m sorry I ruined your date,” she apologized as Alexander walked into the room.

  His worried gaze traveled over his sister before settling on me. He paused mid-stride as he took in the sight of my lavender dress and curled hair. A tendril of warmth curled through my stomach at the brief flicker of interest that sparked in his eyes. For a moment, he had looked at me with the same interest he’d shown in those girls on the beach yesterday.

  Alexander blinked and then smiled, showing no emotion other than his usual brotherly affection. He moved to stand at Arianna’s other side, but his words were directed at me. “Don’t you look all dressed up. What’s the occasion?”

  “She’s got a hot date,” Arianna purred, winking at me.

  Alexander frowned, and the look he turned my way was simmering with dark emotion. Was he just being over-protective as usual, or was he actually jealous?

  A moment later, the Royal Family’s private physician walked into the room with the king and queen. He explained the situation in complicated medical terms I barely understood. I caught various words on occasion. A tumor on the liver. Benign. Surgery. The rest was hazy.

  I watched nervously as they prepped her for surgery and bit my lip so hard that I tasted blood. Someone grabbed my hand. I glanced up to see Alexander standing next to me.

  “Don’t worry, dolcezza. Everything will be fine,” he said with an air of confidence. He slid an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. We watched them wheel Arianna out of the room, followed by their parents.

  I was trying to be brave, but the second she was out of sight, my nerves got the better of me. With tears damp on my cheeks, I turned toward Alexander and clutched desperately at his shirt. “Do you promise, Alex? I can’t lose her. She’s my best friend.”

  He looked down at me with intense blue eyes and answered calmly, “She’s going to be fine. The surgery will only take a few hours and after six weeks, she’ll be as good as new.” He kissed my forehead and drew me into his embrace.

  Slipping my arms around his waist, I pressed my tear-streaked face against his neck and held on tightly. I thought I felt a tremble go through him, but it could have been caused by my shaking. Alexander held me close in his arms, murmuring softly in Italian, trying to help calm me. Thanks to their Italian-born mother, all three royal children were fluent in Italian, as well as French, Spanish and English. Even though I didn’t understand his words, the soothing tone of his voice was comforting and I felt my worries begin to fade away.

  My fear was replaced by a sudden awareness of Alexander and how his body was pressed closely against mine. His chest was wide and firm under my cheek. One arm was wrapped tightly around my waist while he gently stroked the brown curls running down my back with his free hand.

  My pulse began to race and I could feel nervous butterflies in my stomach. I knew I should pull away, but I felt a strong desire to stay wrapped up in his arms. What was happening to me? There were new, unexpected feelings swirling through me—very unbrotherly feelings. Slowly, I forced myself to step back out of his embrace and shyly peeked up at his face.

  He was watching me, his expression so serious and intense that it made my heart skip a beat. There was something in his eyes, the way he was looking at me, that was different. For the first time, I wondered if Alexander saw me as more than a friend.

  I ran a nervous hand down my dress, unintentionally drawing his gaze away from my face. He slowly took in the sight of my lavender dress again, and my cheeks were burning by the time his eyes drifted back up to mine.

  “This date you’re supposed to go on,” Alexander said, his voice sounding ragged, “is it with Ethan?”

  “Yes,” I murmured, watching in fascination as his eyes darkened infinitesimally.

  “I thought Ethan was just a friend?”

  I bit my lip, and smiled sheepishly. “Well, he is. But ...” My words trailed off, unsure of what to say. I had hoped that Ethan might become more than just a friend after our date tonight. But I didn’t exactly want to explain that to Alexander.

  “But …?” Alexander prompted, his tone a bit brisk.

  I was saved from having to respond by the ringing of my phone. I fumbled through my tiny purse and yanked it out, glancing briefly at the screen before answering. “Hey, Ethan.”

  “Hey, Maddy. I got your message. Is the princess going to be okay?”

  “She’s in surgery right now. They found a tumor on her liver, but it’s not cancerous. The doctor said she’s going to be fine.” A shiver of fear ran through me, but I brushed it aside. I couldn’t even contemplate the alternative.

  “So, do you want to reschedule our date?” Ethan asked.

  I sighed regretfully. “Yeah, I think we should. I want to be here when Arianna gets out of surgery.”

  “That’s what I figured,” Ethan said with a hint of disappointment. “I’m glad she’s going to be okay. I guess I’ll just see you at school.”

  “Yeah, I guess so. See you on Monday.”

  When I hung up, my mood sank even lower, intermingled with both worry and disappointment. After taking one look at my sullen face, Alexander slipped an arm around my shoulders and directed me to the waiting room. We sat together in silence, with his arm still wrapped around me in a comforting hug, and my head resting on his shoulder.

  The rest of our families slowly trickled into the waiting room. As we waited through the long hours of Arianna’s surgery, my thoughts wandered away in various scenarios of tragedy.

  When the door creaked open, I bolted upright, expecting to see Arianna’s surgeon. Instead, I found Ethan standing in the open doorway. Slipping off the chair, I moved to hug him.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, undeniably happy to see him.

  Ethan smiled ruefully. “It’s not exactly the night I had planned, but I’d still rather spend it here with you.” His expression grew embarrassed. “I hope that’s okay.”

  “It’s more than okay,” I answered, hugging him a
gain. “I’m so glad you’re here, Ethan.”

  I led him around the room for various introductions, saving Alexander for last. I was ridiculously uncomfortable at the thought of them meeting, and couldn’t figure out if I was more worried about Alexander’s disapproval, or his possible jealousy.

  An expert at keeping his emotions in check, Alexander was as polite as ever. I couldn’t detect even a hint of unease in his expression. As he chatted easily with Ethan about surfing, I shook my head slightly, wondering if I’d only imagined the interest and jealously I thought I’d seen earlier. There was clearly nothing more than friendship between us.

  For some reason, that realization hurt more than expected.

  Chapter Five

  Gazing out across the lawn with my forearms braced on the terrace railing, I lost myself in the sight of the glistening sea. A soft breeze ruffled the hair around my face and fluttered against the long floral skirt I was wearing. I sighed, and reached up to tuck my windblown hair behind an ear.

  At the same moment, I noticed movement in the hallway to my left and turned to find Alexander standing in the doorway. His dark blue gaze was fixed on me, his expression serious and thoughtful. When our eyes met, he smiled crookedly, but I could still sense the emotion lurking behind his carefully guarded expression. He’d been acting strange all month—ever since the day of Arianna’s liver operation.

  Before either of us could speak, King Mathis suddenly appeared behind the prince’s shoulder. Confident, regal, and exuding a quiet power, King Mathis was tall, dark and handsome, just like his sons. His dark brown hair was peppered with gray at the temples, and his shortly-cropped beard added to his distinguished appearance. Crowned at only thirty-eight years old, he was the youngest king to rule Coradova in over a century and had peacefully ruled for eight years so far.

  “Alexander,” King Mathis ordered quietly. “A word, please.”

  Alexander tensed briefly. “Yes, sir.” He held my gaze for a moment longer, then winked covertly before turning to follow his father into the palace.

  When I found him a few hours later, he was standing at the scenic lookout at the back of the palace grounds. The tension in his shoulders was noticeable even from a distance. When I caught sight of his dark expression, I knew the discussion with his father had not been a good one.

  “Are you okay, Alex?” I ventured quietly.

  He let out a heavy sigh, his scowl deepening. “Not really.” He didn’t elaborate, and stared stonily out across the horizon.

  I watched his hands clench and unclench repeatedly on the railing, and examined the angry lines in his tightly set jaw. He was definitely upset. I gave him another minute to brood, then asked, “What’s wrong, Alex? Does this have something to do with your dad?”

  He chuckled bitterly. “I guess you could say that.” He squeezed the railing again, then shifted to look at me. “You know how I’ve been meeting with him every week to learn more about my future role as king? Well, today he told me about certain … expectations … that I’m not exactly thrilled about.”

  “Like what?” I prodded.

  Alexander sighed again. “Like having to sacrifice who I am, for the man I must become—as if I didn’t already know that who I am must come second to my royal title.” He shook his head in irritation. “All he kept talking about was making sacrifices, and learning how to put my duty before my—desire.” His eyes darted to my face as the tips of his ears turned red.

  I bit my lip, trying to hide a smile. “Your desire, huh?” He looked away from me, clearly embarrassed. I bumped him with my hip and teased, “Is there some girl you like who isn’t suitable to be the future queen?”

  Although my words were only in jest, the look he turned on me was oddly serious. He stared directly into my eyes for a long moment, then cleared his throat and averted his gaze once again. “Something like that,” Alexander said under his breath.

  We lapsed into a slightly tensed silence. It lengthened until I finally asked, “Is it all worth it?”

  “What do you mean?” He shot a confused glance at me.

  “The sacrifices,” I explained. “Is it all worth it for you to become king?”

  Alexander studied me for several heartbeats before answering. “I honestly don’t know.” Then he forced his emotions down behind a carefully guarded mask and offered me a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “But it doesn’t matter. It’s not like I can renounce my claim to the throne just because I don’t like the sacrifices I’m expected to make.”

  I gently touched his arm, my expression softening. “You’ve always wanted to be the king. Maybe the sacrifices won’t be as bad as you think.”

  He smiled ruefully in response and drew me in for a hug. “Maybe you’re right, dolcezza.” He whispered into my hair, “I hope you’re right.”

  I felt his lips press against my forehead. The soft kiss was so sweet that I couldn’t stop my eyes from closing on a sigh. Held close in his arms, my heart rate suddenly picked up speed, stuttering and flip-flopping, as a swirl of unexpected emotion coursed through me. His hugs never used to affect me like this—I felt terrified by this sudden change in my heart.

  Was I starting to fall for my best friend? And if I did, was there any chance he might someday feel the same way?

  Chapter Six

  It had been over two months since Arianna’s emergency liver operation, and she was back to her usual vivacious self. Since I’d had to reschedule my date with Ethan, the princess had taken it upon herself to invite Ethan over to the palace for a picnic lunch near the pond.

  It was nestled at the base of a small hill, surrounded by a perfectly manicured lawn and various stepping stone trails. Pond weeds floated in drifts along the surface, tangling in the tall reeds that swayed in the breeze.

  We’d been together all afternoon, but I was certain that Arianna was scheming to make up some excuse to leave us alone at any minute. I couldn’t decide if I was more eager or reluctant.

  After my feelings had begun to change toward Alexander, I couldn’t help but wonder at the possibilities. Over the last several weeks, I’d occasionally caught him watching me with an intensity that made me think he might want more than friendship. But he’d grown very guarded around me after our conversation about duty and sacrifices—and our once close friendship had become strained.

  My heart ached at the thought.

  I’d kept finding excuses to postpone my date with Ethan on the off-chance that even a sliver of possibility existed with Alexander. But my hope was waning. Maybe it was time to quit dreaming about Alexander and take that final step toward a relationship with Ethan.

  As if on cue, Arianna rose to her feet. “I need to go check on something inside. I’ll be back ... later.” Her blue eyes sparkled meaningfully, and she shot me a cheeky grin before sauntering away.

  “That wasn’t obvious, at all,” Ethan remarked, drawing my attention back to him.

  I smiled. “Arianna’s not particularly subtle.”

  We laughed, then Ethan held out a strawberry. “Do you want the last one?”

  “Sure, thanks.” I took the offered fruit, trying not to blush when my fingers brushed against his skin. Now that we were alone, my awareness of him was acute. Feeling nervous, I looked away.

  After a lengthy silence, Ethan shifted on the picnic blanket. I peeked over to find him leaning toward me, his gaze focused on my mouth. My heart rate sped up as my stomach fluttered with nerves. His brown eyes drifted up to meet mine, now a warm butterscotch heated with longing. We moved closer, ever so slightly.

  Ethan trailed his hand slowly up my bare arm to cup my cheek, pausing to gauge my reaction, giving me the chance to pull away. I’d had a crush on Ethan for a while now—it was time to finally move forward with him. I scooted infinitesimally closer, silently offering my consent. A dazzling crooked smile lit up his face. He lowered his head and my eyes drifted close, heart pounding in anticipation.

  “Well, this is awkward,” a voice spoke
from behind us.

  I jerked away from Ethan and looked up to see Alexander standing at the edge of the blanket, scowling down at us with his arms crossed over his chest. My face burned from being caught in such an intimate embrace—and by Alexander, of all people.

  He leveled an over-protective glare at Ethan before turning his gaze to me. A flicker of jealousy crossed his face. In the blink of an eye, my embarrassment shifted into outrage. He had no right to interfere in my relationship with Ethan. Alexander had no claim on me.

  “What are you doing here?” I demanded, rising swiftly to my feet.

  His eyes narrowed at my tone. “I live here.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I came down to fish in the pond, but I didn’t realize you had claimed this spot for a make-out session.” He shot me a dark look, and I couldn’t stop the flush that crept up my neck and blazed across my cheeks. “You should try to be more discreet next time, Madison.”

  Fury raged through me at his scolding. I wanted to throw his own personal indiscretions in his face. “I’ve seen all the girls you’ve taken out into the garden, Alexander. If we kiss behind the hedges next time, would that be discreet enough for you, Prince Charming?”

  Alexander stalked toward me and growled, “What I do with other girls is none of your business.” He towered over me with a tightly clenched jaw, struggling to hold on to his temper.

  I glared up into his stormy blue eyes. “And what I do with other guys is none of your business!”

  “You make it my business when you do it where everyone can see.” He reached out to clasp my upper arms, preventing me from turning away. Although he was clearly angry, his touch was gentle.

  “There was no one else around,” I argued.