Table of Contents
Synopsis
About the Author
Acknowledgment
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Bella Books
Synopsis
Samantha Cassidy, award-winning actress, up-and-coming Hollywood “It Girl”, is missing three things in her life: an Oscar, a special someone to share her life with, and a baby goat in pajamas.
Alex Novato married her college sweetheart, but tragedy struck and the love of her life was ripped from her arms. Now she refuses to open her heart again, choosing casual sex over deeper commitments, until a not-so-chance meeting with her favorite Hollywood starlet turns her world upside down.
Will Alex give love another try? Will Sam find the courage to follow her heart, Hollywood be damned? Will anyone get a baby goat in pajamas?
#CassiNova is a sweet, funny, fun romp through the Hollywood Hills.
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About the Author
Lori G. Matthews lives outside of Philadelphia with her wife and two cats. Her first brush with literary fame came at the age of thirteen when her composition, an amusing tale told from the perspective of a soccer ball, was the only one read aloud by her teacher. To this day, she still loves to write lighthearted comedies because laughter truly is the best medicine. When not writing, you can find her in the woods hiking, bird watching, or looking for her golf ball.
Copyright © 2020 by Lori G. Matthews
Bella Books, Inc.
P.O. Box 10543
Tallahassee, FL 32302
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, without permission in writing from the publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper.
First Bella Books Edition 2020
Editor: Alissa McGowan
Cover Designer: Kayla Mancuso
ISBN: 978-1-64247-165-6
PUBLISHER’S NOTE
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Acknowledgment
This book has been a wonderful journey for me. What started out as a fanfiction, morphed into a debut novel, and it would not have been possible without the help of a few good women. I first have to give a big thank-you to my publishers, Linda and Jessica Hill of Bella Books, who saw potential and took a chance on me.
Thank you to my editor, Alissa McGowan, whose steady guidance made my first editing process a breeze.
Where would I be without my three beta readers? Ana Wootten, who was and still is my biggest cheerleader. Any time I had doubts about my ability, she would offer words of encouragement, then tell me she was going to go back and read it again. I think she read the manuscript more than I did. Lisa Magnum, who was more than a beta, she was my wingman. She purchased the Chicago Manual of Style for both of us, and when we each received our copy, she said, “It’s a big book.” And I said, “I ain’t reading that.” Patsy R., my friend of twenty years, who read the first version of this manuscript and told me it was great, even though it was an overly wordy, head hopping mess.
A big shout-out to all the friends I met online these past few years. E, my adopted pseudo-daughter, who showed me that an Internet connection can turn into a wonderful friendship. Regina, who bet me three years ago that I could turn this story into a published novel. Guess what? I had to pay up. Aliza M., who insisted I was good enough to get published and helped get me started. All the crazies I affectionately dubbed my Misfit Toys, who commented on my fan fictions and blew up my first Facebook post with a thousand gifs. Thanks to you I had days and days of notifications on my phone. And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention The Purple Chicken Cook-Off, which remains one of the highlights of the last few years. Thank you, Misfits. I am honored to call you friends.
Lastly, my partner and wife of twenty years, whose patience and support enabled me to see this through. She spent countless hours reading chapters, with me hanging over her shoulder, yelling, “Why aren’t you laughing?” Thank you, T. I love you.
One last shout-out, to our beautiful dog Everette, who was the inspiration for Yogi. Our Evi Bear crossed the rainbow bridge last year, but he’ll live on in this story. And that’s pretty damn cool.
Chapter One
West Hollywood
It was a crime scene.
Flecks covered the cabinets. Dots peppered the ceiling. The spatter had made it clear across the room. The only thing missing was the chalk outline of the avocado that had met its untimely end in the Cuisinart Pro food processor. And in the middle of it all stood Samantha Cassidy, Emmy-award-winning actress, nibbling on her bottom lip. Chunks of green goo perched in her blond hair, and pea-colored fragments stuck to her cheeks. “Shit.”
The front door slammed. “Sami! Where you at?” Jade called.
“In the kitchen.”
“What’s cooking in there? Hopefully not your cookbook.”
In the annals of kitchen disasters, the cookbook incident ranked right at the top. Sam’s Emeril Lagasse recipe book had gone up in flames during the maiden voyage of the Viking gas stove a few months ago. It had been propped on the back burner, making it easier to read while sautéing on the front burner. The wrong knob was turned, and poof!
As Jade walked into the kitchen, Sam hopped up from the floor, sponge in hand. “Hey.” She wiped her forehead, smearing green goop through her dark brows.
“Huh.” Jade stood with hands on hips. “Forget the lid?”
“Gah. Can you believe it?”
“Yes, Sami. Yes, I can believe it.”
Jade placed her car keys on the counter and tiptoed around puddles of gunk to grab a beer from the fridge. “I’m gonna pitch an idea to the network. It’ll be a cooking show called What Not to Do in the Kitchen. Starring you, of course. We’ll bill it as a comedy.”
Sam grimaced. “I’m not that bad.”
“Well, you almost burned the place down with your little cookbook adventure.
”
“Oh please. It was just a small fire.”
“Tell that to the fire department. Now, c’mon. Clean that shit up later. Your show’s coming on.” She hurried into the living room.
Sam spent every Sunday night from February through April with her best friend and manager, Jade Ramos, watching her hit sci-fi series, Gemini. Well, Jade watched. Sam usually had her earbuds in listening to music and checking fans’ reactions on social media. Neither she nor their friend Emma, who also starred on the show, could stomach watching themselves on-screen. However, tonight was the season finale, and a quick peek may not be out of the question. Sam’s character, Commander Calleah “Callie” Jenkins, was consummating her relationship with fan-favorite Ophelia Beck. #Calliope had been trending for a season and a half.
Jade grabbed the TV remote. “I think a lot of people are going to lose their shit tonight, my friend.”
Sam hunkered down on the couch next to Jade. “I don’t think it’ll be that bad.”
“Ten bucks says it’s a shitstorm.”
“You’re on. Jackson and the other writers think everyone will love the fact that they hook up.”
“Oh, they’ll love the hookup. They ain’t gonna love what comes next. The fan base is gonna go fucking ballistic.”
“I’m getting you a swear jar,” Sam threatened, “and it’s gonna be a buck for every f-bomb. And then I’m donating it to charity.”
“A buck? What happened to a quarter?”
“Inflation.”
As the opening credits started to roll, Sam’s phone rang. “It’s Emma.” She hit the speaker button. “Hey, E.”
“Hey, bitches, I’m at the gate. Open up.”
Jade hustled over to push the gate button and returned to the couch. “After six months, you’d think she’d remember the damn code.”
“I love her, but she barely remembers her lines.”
A minute later the door flew open, and a breathless Emma ran in. “Did I miss the sex?”
Jade cocked an eyebrow. “Well, somebody’s excited. Hurry. It’s starting.”
“I need a drink.” Emma jogged into the kitchen and froze. “Whoa! What happened in here?”
“Sam made dip.”
“Why’s it on the ceiling?”
“Because Sam made dip.”
Pasadena
“I think this is it!” Alex Novato sat on the floor in front of the couch with her dog, Yogi, nestled in beside her. “You guys are gonna miss it.” She cranked the volume on the remote.
Alex’s older sister, Lenna, and her wife, Sophia, hustled in from the kitchen and plopped onto the sofa behind Alex.
“Finally, after two seasons,” Lenna said.
All eyes locked on the screen as Ophelia tugged Callie closer and kissed her softly on the lips. They ripped at each other’s clothing, and soon their naked bodies pressed against each other on the hard ground inside the cave.
“Yeah, baby!” Alex and Lenna shared a high five as the show went to commercial.
Sophia sighed. “The actresses have such great chemistry. You don’t see that much with two women on TV.”
“Sam Cassidy is my favorite actress,” Lenna gushed. “Goddamn, she’s hot.”
“I wouldn’t kick her out of bed,” Alex agreed.
“I guess not. She’s just your type. All blond haired and blue eyed.”
“And she’s got curves in all the right places—”
“Okay, you two, stop drooling,” Sophia said. “And stop objectifying her. Now, be quiet. It’s coming back on.”
The sisters exchanged a sheepish look.
“Sorry, babe, you’re right,” Lenna said.
The mood at the Novato house changed dramatically as the next scene unfolded, their euphoria over the kiss short-lived. Lenna and Sophia gawped at the screen as the ending credits rolled.
“Wow, no more shipping Calliope,” was all Alex could manage.
Sophia finally found her voice. “They had sex, and then they killed her? How could they do that?”
Alex slumped against the couch. “Assholes. ‘Bury the gays’ trope strikes again.”
West Hollywood
As the episode ended, Sam and Emma sniffled and wiped their eyes while a stoic Jade checked her phone.
“Well?” Sam asked.
“Holy hell, it’s Armageddon. Twitter’s blowing up. Would you like to hear from your fans?”
“Oh God. Go ahead.” Sam’s stomach muscles clenched.
“Let’s see. @calliopeforever says, ‘What the hell was that?’ And @calliopeshipper wrote, ‘Why are they always killing the lesbians?’ @ishipcalliope tweeted, ‘I will never watch this show again!’ It goes on and on and on. You owe me ten bucks.”
Sam slapped the arm of the couch. “I knew it! I told them not to kill her off. I begged them not to do it.” She collapsed against the back of the sofa and pinched the bridge of her nose as uneasiness settled in her gut. The next few weeks would be challenging. An angry fan base could damage the show.
Jade continued to scroll. “What a fucking nightmare.”
Sam cleared her throat and extended a hand.
Glaring, Jade sat back with crossed arms. “Fuck that.”
Sam put both hands out and wiggled her fingers.
Jade sighed as she reached into a pocket and grabbed a five-dollar bill. “Change?”
“No. I’ll keep a tab.”
“Why does she owe money?” Emma asked.
“I’m charging a buck for every f-bomb,” Sam said.
“Oh. She’s gonna need more than a five-dollar bill.”
Chapter Two
Jade, Emma, and Sam took turns hosting girl’s night, where they would usually enjoy a nice, home-cooked meal. But this week, it was Sam’s turn.
“Thanks for stopping at Maggio’s to pick this up,” she said to Jade as they relaxed on the patio, their bellies full. Maggio’s was Sam’s go-to place whenever disaster struck in the kitchen.
“No problem. I figured it’s better than eating cookbook à la mode.”
“So what happened in there tonight?” Emma asked.
“Well, I’m not quite used to the temperature of the oven—”
“Sami,” Jade interrupted.
“What?”
“Four hundred degrees is the same in every oven, buddy.”
“No, I think it’s hotter in this oven.”
“I’m sure that’s it,” Jade mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Sam surveyed the jungle that was her backyard. “I can’t wait to get all this cleaned up. I think I’m gonna hire someone to do it.”
“That would be wise,” Jade said.
Sam had purchased the fixer-upper in West Hollywood about six months earlier. The kitchen and bathroom renovations had topped her to-do list, and the contractors had arrived shortly after closing. But the outside landscaping was a horror show. And that was being kind. Potential existed, and with imagination and effort, it could be a peaceful retreat. A quaint and wonderful space to share with a special someone.
Sam grabbed her sketchbook and walked to the pool. She yanked at the weeds growing between the cracks in the concrete.
Emma’s eyes were glued to her phone. “One good thing about all the hubbub with the show these past few weeks, the fan fiction is lot more interesting.”
“You got that right,” Jade said. “Some juicy shit out there.”
“You read that stuff?” Sam asked. She breathed in the scent of the honeysuckle growing over the crumbling retaining wall on the far side of the pool. Honeysuckle was one of her favorite smells. Her father had introduced it to her when she was six years old. Sam had delighted in watching the hummingbirds stream into their backyard to drink the nectar from the flowers.
“Hell yeah. Most of them are rewriting the last episode, giving it a happy ending,” Jade said.
Emma smirked. “You just like the sex scenes.”
“Guilty.”
&nb
sp; Sam began sketching a pond with a waterfall and flowers surrounding it. When she finished drawing, she collapsed on a chaise.
“What’s up?” Jade asked. “You’ve been down the last few weeks. Have you seen Brian lately?”
“No. I’m so over that.”
“He serves a purpose, you know.”
“I know, he’s my cover. I get it. But he can be an ass. I don’t think it’s gonna last much longer.”
“What’s bothering you?”
“I don’t know. Ever since the episode aired, it’s stirred stuff up, like I’m betraying everyone by hiding in the closet. And I think about how much I miss being with a woman. You know how long it’s been since I kissed a girl?”
“Who are you? Katy Perry?”
“I’m serious! It’s been since college. Maggie, remember? That’s six or seven years ago. I’ve been feeling lonely lately.” Sam gazed into the distance. “I think I…I just wanna fall in love again.”
“You know what I think? I think you think too much.” Jade stood and grabbed some dishes to take inside.
“I miss being with a woman!” Sam picked up the rest of the dishes and followed Jade into the house. She was out to family and close friends, but to the rest of the world she was Samantha Cassidy, heterosexual Hollywood starlet. And she hated it.
Jade stopped in the dining room and turned to Sam. “Hey, who’s that on the mantel?”
Sam glanced at the gold statuette sitting on the shelf. “Mr. Emmy.”
“Exactly. And why is there an empty spot next to him?”
“Because he needs a friend.”
Jade continued to the kitchen. “Exactly. He needs Mr. Oscar. Whose childhood dream is it to win an Oscar?”
“Mine.”
“Exactly. See how agreeable you can be?” Jade loaded the dishwasher. “The chances of you getting Oscar-worthy scripts are a lot slimmer if you’re an out lesbian in Hollywood. I mean, it’s not impossible, but tougher.” Jade put a hand on each of Sam’s shoulders. “So listen. You lay low. You win an Oscar, and in your acceptance speech, you flip them all the bird and tell them you would like to thank your lover, Susie so-and-so.”
#CassiNova Page 1
