Times of Our Lives

by Jane Waterton

  Bella watched the emotions play across Pat’s face and felt her heart sink. Since her treatment had begun, Pat had rarely left her side morning or night. Frustrated and increasingly irritated by all the fuss, Bella was at a loss for how to relieve the growing pressure. In an attempt to break the bleak mood that was threatening to ruin their morning, she once again moved close and leant her head on Pat’s shoulder.

  “Tell me our story?” she asked quietly.

  Pat looked down at her with a smile. “How many times have we told this story to each other?” she asked, gently stroking Bella’s face.

  “I could hear it a million times and never grow tired of it. You tell it and suddenly we are young again. Please, cara, just once more.”

  Pat took her hand, and Bella saw the love in her eyes.

  “Well, you’d better get comfortable,” Pat advised. “It’s a long story.”

  Bella sat up and repositioned herself against her lover’s chest.

  Wrapping her arms securely around Bella, Pat began the story she had told so many times before. “Forty-five years ago, we were both lucky enough to be working for the same company in Melbourne. You were the director’s secretary and I had just been hired in the warehouse. One morning, not long after I started, I was asked to drop some paperwork upstairs. The person I had to deliver it to was away, and someone suggested I leave it with you.” Pat paused, smiling as her memory replayed the familiar scene.

  “I will never forget the first time I saw you sitting at your typewriter. You looked up and smiled at me and it was as if I forgot how to breathe. You were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.”

  Bella chuckled at the memory. “Cara, I remember wondering if you were ill. You stood there, not saying a word, just staring at me. And then you just pushed this paperwork at me and fled before I could say a word to you.”

  Pat shrugged. “Well, I was so incredibly awkward and shy, I just wanted the ground to swallow me up.”

  “But you persevered,” Bella reminded her.

  Pat laughed. “Oh yes, but that’s because I couldn’t get the memory of you out of my head, and I realised I needed to be braver. I kept trying to find reasons to take paperwork upstairs. I would ‘accidentally’ bump into you at lunch time; if you smiled at me, my day was so much brighter, and when you went on holidays, I was miserable.”

  “Meanwhile,” Bella interrupted, “I was trying to quietly find out who this handsome, shy woman was. Every time I tried to talk to you, though, you ran away.”

  “I was falling in love with you and had no idea how to deal with it,” Pat murmured into Bella’s hair

  “And you never said a word to me,” Bella whispered.

  Pat shrugged again. “It never occurred to me that you might feel the same way. I was terrified you would find out and laugh at me.”

  Bella turned and prodded Pat gently. “Until the night of the storm, when you drove me home and I kissed you. Then you weren’t so shy,”

  “Oh, is that so?” Pat raised an eyebrow. “And just exactly who’s telling this story?”

  Bella laughed. “OK. I was just moving to the good bit.”

  “Well, it wasn’t easy, was it?” Pat asked, settling them back against the tree. “Your strict Italian family almost had you on a curfew. I look back on that period and still wonder that they didn’t discover we were lovers. I was so terrified they would find out and your brother would shoot me, or that someone at work would find out and we would both get sacked.”

  “And it wasn’t just them,” Bella reminded her. “Remember when we finally moved to Sydney? We thought we would be able to live freely, but even there it was a life of hidden nightclubs and dinners at close friends’ houses. It was so hard to know who we could trust. Telling our straight friends and colleagues that we were flatmates; having to pretend to another life. It all felt so cheap and dirty. And in the background, so many friends who lost their jobs, their children, got arrested and beaten up. When you look at life now, it’s hard to believe that we all lived in that constant fear.”

  “Remember our first Sydney Mardi Gras?” Pat asked.

  Bella nodded, squeezing Pat’s hand. “You were watching the parade and crying. When someone asked you why, you said it was because you were so happy.”

  “I couldn’t believe it. Everything we fought for was right there, marching in all its flamboyance down Oxford Street. It was as if we had made it through all that pain and uncertainty and come out stronger and happier than we could ever have dreamt possible.”

  Bella turned. Taking Pat’s hands, she chose her words carefully. “You know, that’s how I feel about my cancer. I need to fight this, cara, with everything I have in me. It may not be enough, but if not, I need to know I gave it everything I could and have no regrets.” Seeing the growing panic her words were causing, she softened her tone. “You and I have been through so much together. If I could spare you this pain I would, but the truth is, I can’t do this without you.”

  “I just hate that it will continue to make you so sick,” Pat said, anguished.

  Bella once again leant back into Pat’s arms. She felt the sun on her face and wished that time would just stop, allowing them to stay in this moment forever.

  “We are nearly there, cara. We have to believe that this will be the turning point for us.”

  Bella felt the solid body of her lover as Pat took a deep breath. A moment passed before she heard the whispered words against her ear. “Well, if that’s what you really want, I will be beside you every step of the way.”

  CHAPTER 3

  Sparrow Hopkins sat in the small rotunda, gazing out into the surrounding gardens. Dappled sunlight filtered through the trees, creating patterns on the well-manicured lawns. Several gardeners were working on the nearby flower beds, and a slight breeze brought with it the rich aroma of freshly turned earth.

  Sparrow looked down at the intricate embroidery in her lap. Her grandmother had first taught her this delicate art when she was a child and she’d never lost the love for it. She’d always found the practice soothing, allowing her mind to wander whilst stitching glorious works of art.

  As she sewed, Sparrow thought back over the last twelve months. Being at OWL’s Haven, had given her so much joy. The warm welcome she had been shown by the community had revived her personality and for the first time in years, she felt genuinely happy.

  Callie, one of the resident cats, wandered in and rubbed her sleek tortoiseshell body against Sparrow’s leg. Theoretically, she belonged to Louise and Caro, but her sociable nature had various residents trying to claim her as their own. As for Callie, she managed to share herself with everyone whilst graciously declining to belong to anyone, a feline trait that Sparrow greatly admired.

  Bending down, she stroked the soft fur, smiling as Callie rolled over for a tummy rub.

  “Hello there.”

  Sparrow looked up to see Daphne Williams standing at the entrance.

  “Hello,” she replied with delight. Noticing Daphne’s hesitation, Sparrow beckoned her in.

  “I’m not intruding, am I?” Daphne asked, taking a seat on the sofa next to her.

  Sparrow shook her head. “No, not at all, Callie and I are just enjoying the day.”

  Callie rose and walked over to observe the willie wagtails swooping around the garden.

  Daphne shook her head, watching the cat. “She hasn’t got a chance of even getting near those little fellows. They’ll drive her crazy and as soon as she gets close, they’ll fly off laughing.”

  Callie’s tail flicked as the birds swooped even closer to the bougainvillea growing around the sides of the rotunda.

  “Sounds like my first girlfriend.” Sparrow chuckled.

  Intrigued, Daphne turned to face her, leaning back and stretching her long legs out in front of her. “Really? That sounds like a story. What happened?”
<
br />   Recommencing her stitching, Sparrow smiled. “I was in my mid-twenties and had only recently accepted I was gay. I’d had a few liaisons, but was waiting to be romanced and wooed. We met at a party and at the end of the evening she made a huge song and dance about wanting to take me out. Wouldn’t take no for an answer. Honestly, I thought I was going to have to leave town. She plied me with chocolates and flowers, took me out to dinner, tried to convince me that I was the only girl for her. I’d heard rumours about her ‘love them and leave them’ history, so I resisted for as long as I could, but I was young, and she was incredibly good looking and very funny. I did so want to believe everything she told me. She was in the Navy and was stationed nearby. All very hush-hush in those days, though. Couldn’t let on that she was a lesbian. Finally one night, after a particularly romantic evening and rather too much wine, I said yes.”

  Sparrow looked at Daphne, who was watching her intently.

  “Well it was quite amazing for about four weeks; I fell head over heels in love with her. But then the phone calls and dinner invitations slowed and the flowers stopped altogether. The next thing I knew she was chasing some other young woman, and I was left nursing a broken heart.”

  “Damn,” said Daphne softly.

  Sparrow nodded. “Damn indeed. I was so cross with myself. I should have known it wasn’t a serious relationship for her, but…well, you do rather hope, don’t you?”

  Bored with the birds, Callie strolled back over and leapt nimbly onto the sofa between the two women.

  Daphne gave the cat a gentle scratch. “So what happened next? Did you meet someone else?”

  Embroidery forgotten, Sparrow looked into the distance as she remembered. “Well, you never think you are going to recover from your first love, do you? But several years later I fell in love with the most wonderful woman, and the two of us had such a life together. We travelled the world and saw things I’ll never forget. Over twenty years together; then one day, out of the blue, she comes home and says she’s leaving. No ifs, buts or maybes. Despite me begging her, she refused to tell me why, and I never found out the reason.” Sparrow looked across and saw the shock on Daphne’s face. “She had been quite ill several months before, and I often suspected that she might have discovered she had a terminal illness and couldn’t bring herself to tell me. After she left, despite all our efforts, neither I nor any of her friends were able to find her. In the end, I just stopped looking.”

  Daphne released a breath. “How the hell did you cope?”

  Sparrow smiled sadly. “I nearly went crazy wondering if it was something I had done; I didn’t think I’d ever be the same again.” Taking up her embroidery once more, Sparrow continued, “Still, one thing I have learnt is that no matter how much you might not want it to, life goes on. So, after three years of feeling sorry for myself, I picked myself up, dusted myself off and decided I had better get back into life. My friends, of course, wanted me go out and try to meet other women, but it was all a bit silly. I was too old to go through all that dating routine again, and I wasn’t meeting anyone who I felt even remotely attracted to anyway, so after several failed attempts, I just stopped accepting invitations.” Sparrow grimaced as she remembered the many awkward encounters. “I spent the next fifteen years alone. Not unhappy, but…” she paused, looking directly at Daphne, “not alive, not like I feel here. It was as if I was just…going through the motions. Now, when I look back, I don’t recognise that me. She feels like someone else. Does that make sense?”

  Daphne nodded thoughtfully. “Absolutely. I’ve always thought that there’s something about OWL’s that allows you to rediscover your spirit. I think it happens to all the women when they first arrive. It’s the magic of being surrounded by a community of lesbians. It’s okay to let down the guard rails of our emotions, because finally, we’re safe. No-one is going to be offended by what we do or say, no-one is going to be titillated by our affection. We are surrounded by our people, women who love women. Why wouldn’t our spirits soar?”

  As they gazed at each other intently, Sparrow felt goosebumps brush her skin.

  Callie stood, bumping her head against Daphne’s hand.

  Blinking, Daphne stood abruptly and looked at her watch. “Heavens, I should go. I have to call in on some friends…organise a fishing trip,” she stammered.

  Perplexed by the sudden change in Daphne’s demeanour, Sparrow rose too.

  Daphne gazed at her shyly. “Thank you for sharing your story with me. You’re an incredibly brave woman.”

  Sparrow shook her head at the compliment. “I’m just glad I’m here now,” she admitted as Daphne turned to leave.

  Daphne stopped, looked back and gave Sparrow a sweet smile. “So am I.”

  CHAPTER 4

  Allie was standing near the door of the library, studying the cover of the book she’d ordered, when she was grabbed from behind by two strong arms.

  “Hey, sexy…you going my way?”

  Allie laughed as Leslie Barlow linked an arm through hers.

  “Well now, I’m not sure. It just might depend on where the two of us end up,” she answered, bumping hips.

  “I was wondering if you were going to the Tupperware presentation tonight?” Leslie asked, gesturing to the flyer on the library’s notice board.

  Leslie, resident joker at OWL’s Haven, was in her mid-sixties, tall and lanky with short grey hair. Allie found her madcap personality to be a breath of fresh air.

  “You are joking, aren’t you? Tupperware?” Allie gave a snort of derision. “I don’t think so.”

  “Oh come on, it’ll be fun, I went to one in town a few weeks ago, with some of the other residents, and it was terrific. Helen talked to the consultant afterwards and asked her to do a presentation for us here.” Leslie looked around and lowered her voice. “You should see some of the products they’re bringing out now. Some of them could have very interesting alternative uses,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

  Allie slapped her on the arm, laughing. “Oh yes, you wish.”

  “I’ve talked Meg into coming,” Leslie said, as if that settled the question, “as well as Daphne, Sparrow and a crowd of others.”

  “They do know what to expect, don’t they?” asked Allie in surprise. “I mean, a Tupperware presentation isn’t exactly a girls’ night out.”

  “Yep, they know, and Meg said she’s not coming without alcohol.”

  Allie chuckled, then blew out a sigh and gazed wistfully at the new book in her hand, seeing her carefully planned evening disappear under Leslie’s persistence.

  “Oh, all right, if they’re all going to be there, I suppose you better count me in as well,” she finally agreed.

  “Excellent! It starts at six pm in the games room. Damn,” she said, checking her watch, “I’ve got to go, but trust me, it’s going to be fun so don’t be late.”

  Leslie waved as she hurried off, and Allie watched her stride quickly out of the library. Knowing Leslie as she did, a fun night meant more than just a straightforward presentation, and she wondered what exactly her crazy friend had up her sleeve.

  Allie looked around with surprise at the number of people already gathered a good fifteen minutes before the scheduled time. A crowd of women clustered around a display table, inspecting an array of Tupperware products. Spying Meg talking to several residents at the refreshments table, Allie walked over to say hello.

  “I have to ask,” Meg greeted as she joined them, “since when have you been an aficionado of Tupperware? I thought you hated the stuff? I was stunned when Leslie told me this morning that you were coming to this.”

  Allie frowned in confusion. “What? She only mentioned it to me today after lunch. I have to say, I was just as surprised to hear you were coming.”

  “Well I only came because she told me you were going to be here,” grumbled Meg.

  “Speak of the devil,
” Allie said as Leslie made her way over to their group.

  “Hi, glad you all made it…” Suddenly aware of the looks Meg and Allie were giving her, she stopped. “What?” she asked, flicking her gaze between the two of them.

  “You told me this morning that you had already spoken to Allie about this evening and assured me she was coming,” said Meg deliberately.

  “Ahhh…” Leslie coloured slightly. “Yes, well…you know. I thought I had and then I realised I hadn’t... But hey! You’re both here now and we’ll all have a great night. I’d love to chat, but I’ve got to go and help set up. I promise you, though, you won’t regret coming.”

  She gave them a wink and rushed off before either woman could chastise her further.

  Watching her walk away, Allie shook her head. “I swear that woman could sell the Sydney Harbour Bridge.”

  “Twice, to the same person,” added Meg with a chuckle. After grabbing their glasses, they made their way through the crowd to claim seats close to the presentation area.

  “Hello you two,” said Daphne, sitting down next to Allie. “I must say I’m surprised to see you here. I didn’t believe Leslie when she said you were both coming.”

  Meg raised an eyebrow. “It’s a long story,” she said. “How did she talk you into this fiasco?”

  “I suspect she hypnotised me, because I have absolutely no idea what possessed me to say yes. However,” she said, bringing out her flask, “if it all gets too boring, I have brought reinforcements.”

  “A woman after my own heart,” chuckled Meg as she passed Allie a glass of wine.

  A few minutes later, Helen Macintosh called out to the crowd, “Thank you, ladies, thank you! If you could all take your seats, we can get this presentation underway.” Smiling, Helen turned to the woman standing next to her. “I’d like to introduce Jan Meredith, who will be our presenter tonight. Jan has worked for Tupperware for many years and gave a wonderful presentation that I attended a few weeks ago, in Berry. I am sure we’re all thrilled that she’s been kind enough to make a presentation here at OWL’s Haven,” she gushed, smiling at Jan flirtatiously.