Sleigh Bells Ring

by Jessica James

  His words replayed in her mind and stung even harder upon reflection, causing disappointment and anger to collide within her. This isn’t how it was supposed to turn out. In her dreams, Jordyn had told Chad everything. And in those dreams, he’d forgiven her and understood. Fantasy and wishful thinking had made her think that someday they could go back to the way it used to be—best friends. But she was living with reality now, and the notion of any reconciliation with him dissolved in her mind like chimney smoke being whipped away by the wind.

  For all I know he’s married. Maybe that’s why Kristy seemed so upset.

  Jordyn tried to mask her inner turmoil with deceptive calmness, but Chad’s unexpected appearance and unemotional attitude left her confused and reeling. Unable to think, she gave Blackjack a hard squeeze with her legs and all the rein he wanted. The horse accepted the prompt and took off at a full gallop, giving Jordyn exactly what she wanted: Crisp morning air that sucked the breath from her lungs and a speed that lashed the moisture from her eyes. She wanted to ride as far and as fast as possible...to leave the memories behind.

  But instead of leaving them behind, the flash of recollections appeared before her more vivid than ever. She could see Chad holding her hand as they climbed up Bear Mountain; hear his strong laughter as they sat together in front of a roaring campfire or laid on a blanket staring at the vast canopy of stars. Knowing that special moments like those were gone forever caused a surge of fresh pain.

  Her thoughts were interrupted by the thundering hooves of Chad’s horse right behind her and then right beside her. Before she could figure out what was happening, Chad had moved ahead and turned his horse sideways, blocking her path. Jordyn hurriedly used the reins to turn her horse hard to the left to avoid a collision, and then slowed him down to a trot.

  She was still trying to figure out what was happening when Chad rode close enough for her to see his angry—and frightened—eyes. “The ravine!” He pointed and yelled. “What are you doing?”

  Jordyn hauled on the reins again to bring Blackjack to a complete stop. She could see the edge of the forty-foot drop now, lying about twenty-five yards ahead. She’d been riding straight toward it. Glancing over her shoulder, she tried to figure out how she’d covered that much distance so fast. Time had seemed to stop—or perhaps her memory of the distance was confused. She didn’t think they’d ridden that far.

  “What are you doing?” Chad asked again, glaring at her with cold fury. “Blackjack isn’t used to running like that. He could have tripped and thrown you.” She wasn’t sure if he was furious or just shaken, but his next statement suggested the former. “I don’t have time to be a babysitter. Why don’t you go back to wherever it is you came from?”

  Those words created such a surge of anguish and irritation in Jordyn that she hurled a reply without thought. “You know what? That sounds like a great idea.”

  She turned Blackjack back toward the ranch and dug her heels into his side. She was so angry she was shaking. Angry at Chad. Angry at the world...and mostly, angry with herself at having done something so stupid and risky.

  Blackjack turned on a dime, but his next step came with a marked dipping of his head. Jordyn thought at first he’d just taken a bad step, but the next stride was worse than the first. She pulled him to a halt, just as Chad said, “Great. He’s dead lame.”

  “I can see that.” Jordyn threw her leg over the back of the saddle to dismount. “I’ll walk him back, and check out the cabins later. You can go ahead. I know you don’t want to be late.”

  “Hold on.” Chad’s voice was strong and authoritative. He dismounted and picked up the horse’s leg, placing it between his knees, then pulled a knife out of his pocket and began to dig. “He picked up a stone is all.”

  “You got it out?”

  “Yeah. He’s still going to be sore from the bruise, but at least it won’t be jabbing him on the way back.”

  Jordyn led him a few feet. He was still a little lame, but it wasn’t as noticeable as before.

  Chad remounted without another word and then held out his hand. “Hop on.”

  She glanced at him sitting tall and straight like a towering spruce, and swallowed her pride. “That’s okay. I’ll walk.”

  “Get on.” The tone, and the way his eyes flashed a gentle but firm warning, caused Jordyn to comply.

  Placing her foot in the stirrup he offered, she grasped the extended hand and was lifted unceremoniously onto the broad back of the black and white Appaloosa.

  As they rode slowly back to the ranch with Blackjack in tow, Jordyn smiled as they passed different landmarks on the ranch. Every single one of them sparked a special memory—and, ironically, all of them involved Chad. Suddenly, the happiness the memories aroused was replaced with a sense of loss and sorrow. Jordyn finally just closed her eyes to blot out the images, but that only increased her awareness of his strong back moving back and forth with the gait of the horse just inches from her face.

  Why is he here, God? Why can’t you just let me forget him? Or better yet, why can’t things be right between us?”

  Despite all the time and distance that had kept them apart, Jordyn felt comfortable with him—as if they’d only been separated for a short period, not an interval of ten years. Yet conflicting emotions assaulted her now. Part of her wanted to wrap her arms around him and never let go...and another part wanted to run away and hide from the memories. She’d never met anyone who had the power to cause such turmoil—and excitement. Even after ten years, the memories were fresh and the feelings were still there.

  The rising sun on her shoulders and the smell of clean Montana air were a comfort. She was home. Jordyn tipped her face back toward the sun, and saw Chad glance over his shoulder. “You okay back there?”

  His profile was strong and rigid, the shadow of his beard confirming the ruggedly handsome appearance she’d noticed earlier. Chad had always been a strikingly attractive man as far as Jordyn was concerned, but now his chiseled features and piercing eyes held a certain sensuality she found unnerving. She almost felt like a love-stricken teen again, sitting behind a man who still caused her pulse to race and her mind to go blank. What had happened to the level-headed woman of yesterday?

  She closed her eyes before answering. “Yes, I’m fine.”

  “I’m going to pick up the pace. Hold on if you need to.”

  He urged his horse into a canter before she could answer—and before Blackjack had a chance to match the stride. Jordyn wrapped one arm around him to keep from being unseated as her mount lagged behind a moment. When she felt Chad stiffen at the contact, Jordyn adjusted by grasping a handful of his shirt instead.

  With the cold air filling her lungs and the sound of the two horses cantering across the open plain, Jordyn’s heart nearly burst. Her father had carved out this little slice of paradise, and now it was where she could hopefully find the peace and answers she sought. But the legacy he’d left behind was more than just picturesque meadows, towering forests, and the sparkling waters of the river. He’d left her a place that was truly a home. Jordyn could hardly believe she’d ever had the strength to leave this heavenly spot.

  Her calling to be a part of something bigger than herself had been stronger than the pull to her roots...But that was then.

  Would she be strong enough to leave again?

  Chapter 5

  Christmas is, of course, the time to be home—in heart as well as body.

  – Garry Moore

  As soon as they got back to the barn, Jordyn slid off the side of Kosmo. “Thanks for the lift.” She turned to unsaddle Blackjack and heard Chad dismounting behind her.

  “Have you talked to your mother?”

  Chad’s voice sounded so solemn and serious, it made Jordyn turn around.

  “Of course. Why?”

  “I mean...about the ranch.” He pulled off the flannel shirt he was wearing and draped it over the fence, revealing tan, well-muscled forearms. The rugged outdoor life of a ranch han
d obviously suited him well.

  “What about the ranch?” Jordyn forced herself to look away and concentrate on removing the tack from her own horse. It was so hard to be around him and keep up this pretense that they were mere acquaintances—not best friends. She had so much she wanted to tell him...things she couldn’t tell anyone else, not even her mother.

  “Nothing,” he said, as he loosened the girth. “None of my business, I guess.”

  Jordyn could feel her heart start to throb more violently as she searched anxiously for the meaning behind his words. “What are you talking about? Is there something I need to know?”

  “If your mother didn’t say anything, then I guess not.” He slid the horse’s bridle off and replaced it with a halter. “I’m sorry I said anything. It’s not my place.”

  Jordyn stared at the strong set jaw and the familiar glint of determination in his eyes, and knew he would say no more if she pushed him. He was a complex man, not easy to know intimately, yet she instinctively knew how to handle his reluctance to talk.

  “I went to bed almost as soon as I got here.” She tried to keep the concern out of her voice. “Will you please tell me if there’s something I should know?”

  Looking back, Jordyn thought her mother had seemed cheerful and in good spirits during the short time she’d spent with her. Sure, she’d aged since Jordyn had last seen her, but who could blame her for being a little stressed? This was her first Christmas without her husband. That’s why Jordyn had come home. She knew this holiday was going to be a hard for her mother. Truth be told, it was going to be hard on her too. But together they would get through it.

  Chad looped the rope around the fence post. “Just rumors, probably.” He lowered his voice. “Your dad spent a lot of time and money planning those new cabins and the spa before he died, and your mother went ahead and had them built. But with him gone, and her having to hire help to take his place...well, it’s just been hard from what I hear.”

  Jordyn took a deep breath and stared out at the landscape. It had never occurred to her the ranch wasn’t making money. It was featured in magazine articles all over the world and had a waiting list most of the time. But when she thought about the hours her father put in to make it successful...and how much it must cost to pay someone to do that work, Chad’s point seemed reasonable.

  Truth be told, the ranch was nothing like it had been back in the early days when her father had first purchased it. Somehow he’d seen a diamond in the rough and promoted its rustic elegance. Over the years the property lines had expanded. The amenities had grown more opulent. And the programming was more diverse. In addition to all types of outdoor activities for guests to enjoy, they could now relax and rejuvenate at a newly built spa Jordyn hadn’t even seen yet.

  Painted Sky had been nurtured into a first-class luxury resort offering Western charm, awe-inspiring views, and unrivaled personal service. For five years in a row, Painted Sky was ranked as the most idyllic resort in Montana, a special place for those who wanted to reconnect with their families, relax, and be inspired and restored by the beauty of Nature.

  Some cabins now came with their own firepits and hot tubs, all of them came with unmatched picturesque views. Guests could enjoy the spirit of the old West while being indulged, pampered and treated like royalty.

  “Is there a foreman or something now?” Jordyn tried to sound unconcerned as she lifted the heavy saddle off Blackjack and struggled to put it on the top rail of the fence. She glanced back at Chad when he didn’t answer at first and noticed the scowl on his face.

  “Yes. But I’m not sure I trust him.”

  “Why?”

  “Look. Just let me know if I can do anything to help. Okay?” He took off his hat and rapped it on his leg a few times to remove the dust, his expression tight with strain.

  Jordyn studied him a moment before he started to walk away. The new creases about his mouth and eyes muted his once-youthful appearance, but gave him an air of strength and wisdom. She’d tried to convince herself over the years that they were both too young to know what love was. But now that she was with him again, she knew her heart told the truth—and it hurt now more than it ever had.

  He’d already walked a few steps before Jordyn spoke again. “I’m glad you’re here, Chad. It relieves my mind to know Mom has someone like you close by.”

  Chad came to an abrupt stop and turned, while removing his hat long enough to swipe an arm across his brow. The damp curls that clung to his forehead added to the appeal of his bronzed, wind-worn face, but his words assaulted rather than soothed. “Why? So you won’t have a guilty conscience when you leave again?”

  He shook his head and turned away again, as Jordyn tried to recover the breath that had been knocked from her lungs. She wasn’t sure which stung more, the words, the tone—or the fact that she really couldn’t blame him for keeping his distance. She’d deserted him after he’d professed his love for her. She’d hurt him.

  And it wasn’t hard to see that even after ten years, he wasn’t over it.

  Chapter 6

  Christmas gives us an opportunity to pause and reflect on the important things around us.

  – David Cameron

  The sun was rising steadily and so was the temperature, but the dark clouds appearing to the south and west were beginning to look a bit menacing. Tall mountain peaks that had been touched by the sun this morning, now appeared subdued and colorless as the sky merged with their shadowy summits.

  Jordyn greeted a few guests as they made their way toward the Lodge for breakfast and took a few minutes to walk around the magnificent pine tree. The lights were so plentiful they weighed down the limbs, creating a photographic spectacle that she knew would be shared on social media all over the world.

  That thought was followed by the realization that the last time she’d gazed upon this wondrous symbol of the holiday had been her last night with Chad. Staring at the tree now was as if a chapter of her life had been closed and now re-opened, with an unfathomable lifetime of events taking place in between. She’d been separated from her best friend for almost as long as she’d known him. Yet the memories of the days, hours, and minutes she’d spent with him were more vivid and alive than any that she’d spent away. Even the life and death situations she’d been a part of were more blurred and indistinct than the times on the ranch so long ago.

  Is this God’s way of telling me something?

  She glanced up. If it is, please spell it out for me. Why does seeing him hurt—and feel good—all at the same time?

  Staring at the tall pine brought to mind one of Jordyn’s earliest memories of Christmas. Despite only being five or six years old, Jordyn could still remember holding her father’s hand and watching the official arrival of Noelle’s Christmas tree. She remembered the festive decorations, the excitement in the air, and the sight of the four large Belgian horses pulling the sleigh. But most of all she remembered the sleigh bells on the horses’ collars jingly loudly, a magical sound that stuck with her over the years.

  It wasn’t until much later that she realized every activity and event at Painted Sky was deeply rooted in traditions like the one in Noelle. Her father had taken great pride in preserving and cherishing the history and culture of the area and sharing it with people from all over the world. But in addition to that, he wanted to make sure the experience was magical and wondrous—for the adults as well as the children.

  A pain squeezed her heart as she thought of him, but there were no tears. Her sense of loss was too deep for those.

  Jordyn turned and made her way back to the house.

  “There you are,” her mother said as soon as she opened the door. “I thought you were still sleeping. I made breakfast and was getting ready to wake you up.”

  “I went for a ride.” Jordyn threw her coat onto a hook by the door. “I thought you’d be cooking breakfast at the Lodge.” Painted Sky had gained much of its recognition in the early days from its homecooked meals. Her mother’s
reputation in the kitchen was known far and wide.

  “Oh, I hired someone to cook. It’s too much for me these days.”

  Jordyn followed her mother into the kitchen, picked a favorite mug out of the cabinet, and began to pour herself a cup of coffee. “Why didn’t you tell me about Chad?” She blurted it out before taking the time to think it through.

  Mrs. Dunaway turned around with a startled look on her face that made Jordyn wish she’d been a little more subtle and eased into the conversation more slowly. “Oh...you ran into Chad already?” Her mother walked over to the refrigerator, opened the door, and then seemed to forget why she was there.

  “Yeah. I was surprised to say the least.”

  “Well, I was going to tell you...when the time was right. But you looked so tired. I wanted you to get a good night’s sleep.”

  “How long’s he been here?” Jordyn could tell her mother felt bad about not revealing the information, but she wished someone had warned her. It would have helped lessen the shock.

  “Just about three months, honey. He needed a job, and of course, I was glad to have him. He’s like a son to me.” She bent down, and pretended to be looking for something in the refrigerator. “I told him he could stay here in the house, but he insisted he didn’t want any special favors. It would make him look bad among the other hands, I guess.”

  She closed the door without getting anything out. “Did he tell you where he’s been?”

  “No. He didn’t say much of anything to me.”

  That made Mrs. Dunaway stop and look at Jordyn for the first time. “He’s hurting, honey. I’m not going to say anything more. He needs space and time to heal.”

  “From what?”

  “If he wants you to know, he’ll tell you. Your bacon and eggs are getting cold. Eat up. It’s a big day.”