The Jade Butterfly

by Dawn Gardner

  Folded neatly were silk scarves of all colors and patterns. The first one was a beautiful scarlet red with red and black elephants on them. Ellen lifted the corner of the scarf and rubbed the material between her thumb and index finger. Ellen gently lifted all of the folded scarves out of the box, she guessed there was about fifteen in total. Underneath the scarves was a small, framed piece of artwork. Four Chinese women stood over a wooden box with what Ellen guessed to be silk resting on the top. Ellen placed everything back into the box. And moved the medium sized box onto the bed.

  Arranged inside the box were a small handbag, which looked to Ellen to be from the 1950s, a children’s book, The Story of Ping and a folded white scarf. Ellen marked the placement of each item. A twinge of guilt for violating her mother’s privacy nagged at her. She pushed it away and reached in for the book. The blue border on the paperback of the book was frayed and tattered. Ellen opened the inside cover and read the words.

  “Joni, I loved reading this book to you. It was my favorite thing in the whole world, not counting you of course. I hope you always carry your sense of wonder and adventure. And I hope you know how much I love you. Mama”

  Ellen’s eyes filled with tears. Joni had rarely spoken of her mother, only that she had died of breast cancer when she was five years old. When Ellen or Kim would ask about their grandmother, Joni was very selective and shared the same memory. Her mother placing a white scarf in her bra. Ellen was never sure if this was the only memory that Joni had of her mother, or the only one she wanted to share. After reading the inside cover again, Ellen flipped the pages carefully and quickly, not reading the story. She moved on to the handbag, pulling it out gingerly by the wooden handles. The black material felt like wool and the clasp was silver. Ellen clipped open the clasp and pulled out the contents. A medical bill from 1955 for $5, a newspaper clipping of a poem about family, the folds of the clipping were worn, a small mirror, a beaded change purse and a silver tube of lipstick. The intensity of holding her grandmother’s purse gave her a feeling of connection to a woman she’d never known. When Ellen was a child and Joni would serve her grilled cheese and warm soup, Ellen wondered who did that for her mother as a child. Joni never spoke of her childhood to the girls. And Ellen made up her own stories about what it must have been like to be motherless. The weight of this thought made her feel lucky that Joni had been such an amazing mother to her, even though she always sided with Kim. Ellen was still thankful. She moved the handbag and book back into their places. Ellen didn’t disturb the scarf. There was something sacred about the way it was folded.

  Ellen closed the second box and sat on the floor beside the third box. The lock opened easier than the first two. Inside the box sat another box. The box’s base was round like a cake pan and the funnel shaped lid was a beautiful red with gold Chinese couples dancing, riding a horse and eating. It was a beautiful piece of artwork. Ellen fiddled with the lock and opened the box, it was empty. The doorbell rang. She placed everything back into the box and stacked the boxes back on top of each other.

  Ellen opened the door and leaned in on the door.

  “Oh, did I catch you at a bad time?” Ted said.

  “No, not at all. What’s up?” Ellen said.

  “Hey, I just thought I would check on you and your mother. You know, make sure she’s still alive.” Ted forced a light laugh, hoping to break the tension. “Oh, I almost forgot, I brought these for your mother.” Ted handed Ellen a plastic bag filled with 100 piece jigsaw puzzles of famous locations around the world.

  “That’s super nice of you.” Ellen said.

  “My uncle loved them, and it gives them something to do, you know with just 100 pieces it’s not too taxing.”

  Ellen looked through the puzzles. Big Ben, the Pyramids of Giza and the Great Wall of China. “Why don’t you come in for a minute and give them to her yourself. She’s probably going to adore the China one.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely. She’s in the sunroom with an aide, probably whipping her butt in fish.” Ellen and Ted went into the sunroom. The aide was on her cell phone and Joni was taking a nap in her chair. Ted set the bag on the circle table that was in the middle of the room.

  “She just fell asleep.” The aide said.

  “Hey, can I take you to lunch?”

  “Right now?” Ellen asked.

  “Yeah, I mean if you want to and you can.” Ted and Ellen looked over at the aide. Ellen couldn’t remember how long the time slot was on Saturdays.

  “I’m supposed to be here until 2, but I can stay until 3 if you’d like.”

  “That would be awesome.” Ellen turned to Ted, “Yes, I’d love to get out. Let me grab some shoes.”

  Ted opened the car door for Ellen. She was already impressed. His late model BMW was well kept. Ted turned on the music and the heat.

  “You can switch the station, and let me know if you’re getting too warm. Is Mexican okay?”

  “Mexican would be perfect.”

  It was a short drive, literally five minutes from her mother’s house. The restaurant looked like a Mexican villa that would be on sprawling land surrounded by cows and farmland. Instead, it was on a busy intersection with a home improvement store right behind it.

  “Wow, this looks fancy and out of place.”

  “It’s great food. And they just did a remodel last year. And they have one of the best margaritas ever, if you like those, which I’m guessing you might be a tequila person.”

  “That’s impressive. I mean, how do you know if someone is a tequila person?” Ellen said.

  “I can’t reveal all my secrets just yet.” Ted smiled and held up his fingers telling the hostess it would be the two of them for lunch.

  Ellen felt right at ease with Ted, even before the middle of the margarita. “I really needed this. I’m so thankful to you. It’s been a week, now. I have 5 more to go.” Ellen ran her finger around the salted rim of her glass, “History teacher, huh. Why history?”

  “I love studying people. Ancient cultures in particular. Ever since I was a kid, did ever see a show called Johnny Quest?”

  “No. Can’t say that I did.”

  “It was just an adventure cartoon.”

  “What do you do Ellen, besides take care of your mother?”

  “It’s a good thing I don’t earn my living taking care of people. I kind of suck at it. I worked for a bank in Northern Virginia for many years, there was a merger. And well, here I am.”

  “I think you’re being way too hard on yourself.”

  The waitress brought their food. It was a good thing because Ellen was three fourths of the way finished with her drink and she was feeling it. Ellen started filling her first flour tortilla.

  “Are you married?” Ted pointed to Ellen’s ring finger. That held no ring, but still had retained the shape of a ring being there.

  “Man, you’re going for the jugular.”

  Ted held up his hands and said, “You’re absolutely under no pressure to answer.”

  “No, I like your directness. It’s complicated. I haven’t really been married in a very long time. I just finally decided to do something about it.”

  Ted nodded. And an uncomfortable silence set in between them. Ellen finished her first tortilla then picked at the rest of the vegetables on the plate. “I have a question for you, do you know much about China in the late sixties, early seventies?” Ellen asked.

  “I know a fair bit, what in particular are you curious about?”

  “Well, it’s hard to say if my mother’s Alzheimer’s was kicking in, but she told me was on the Yangtze river probably in that time period.”

  “I’m not sure, but I’d guess no. Travel to China for the most part was banned in the late sixties and didn’t really open up until after Nixon’s visit in 1972.”

  “Hmm, I was born in 1974, and my mother married my father in May of 1973.”

  “Ellen, I’m not following you.”

  “Sorry, just
thinking out loud. This is crazy, I think my mother was involved with someone before my father.”

  “How scandalous of her to have a life before your father.” Ted smiled and finished his margarita.

  “You’re a smart ass. I like that about you. But really, there is some tie to China and this guy named Jack.”

  “Hey, I just thought of something. Next week, the history department at my high school is hosting a cultural day. It is open to the community and all the countries, well most of them, will have a presentation. Do you think your mother would like that, I’m sure China will have a great booth and take-aways.”

  “She’d love it.”

  “And you can come too.”

  “Thanks.” Ellen smirked and drained the last bit of her drink. The waitress came around and asked if she’d like another. But she refused. Ted was right, the margaritas were delicious and strong. Two of them and she might just do something she’d regret.

  “Ellen, I’d like to see you again.”

  “Ted, that kind of sounded like this was a date?”

  Ted blushed bright red. “Well, it was, wasn’t it?”

  “Hmm,” Ellen looked up at the ceiling. “I guess it was.” Ellen wasn’t sure how she felt about being on a date. She was still married to Richard, but actually, that wasn’t what was really bothering her, it had been over twenty-five years since she’d been on a date. Now, she’d just had one and didn’t even realize it. She wasn’t sure what to say. And the situation with Richard was going to be very complicated.

  “How about you think on it, don’t answer. Come to the school next week on Wednesday.”

  “Ted, I really think,”

  Ted interrupted her before she could finish, “No. Don’t answer now. Let’s get you back to your mother’s.” Ted said.

  And as if the thoughts about Richard had summoned him, Ellen received a text. We need to talk now.

  On the drive back to the house, Ellen worried about the conversation with Richard. She texted Richard back and told him she would call this evening after her mother was in bed. She had been avoiding it for a week now. It was time. When Ted pulled into the driveway, Ellen was quick to get out before Ted could even think of being a gentlemen and getting the door for her.

  Ellen tapped on his car window. Ted brought the window down.

  “I’ll see you next week at the school. Thanks for lunch today, I needed it more than I realized. I have some things to take care of. But, I will think about what you asked me.” Ellen turned and went into the house.

  After Joni went to bed, Ellen poured herself a glass of wine. She went into the sunroom and called Richard.

  “Finally.” Richard said.

  “Not even a hello Richard?”

  “Ellen, why are you doing this?”

  Ellen took a deep sip of her wine, “Doing what Richard, ending the joke of a marriage we have?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with our marriage. Do you want to go to counseling?”

  “When’s the last time you’ve held my hand, opened a door for me, listened to anything I’ve said. Richard, I can’t even remember the last time we made love. And counseling, are you willing to go with me?” Ellen took a deep breath, she had decided to not get angry. She knew the answer to the last question, she just wanted to hear it from his lips.

  “I don’t need therapy. My sister thinks you’re crazy.”

  “Well, Richard, that settles it doesn’t it. Your sister must be right.”

  “Ellen, I had hoped this call wouldn’t go this way, I’ve already talked with my attorney. He’ll send the paperwork to your mother’s. I thought we made a commitment long ago to each other, I guess I was wrong.”

  “Richard, you left this marriage long before I did.” Ellen ended the call.

  Chapter 12

  Joni

  The moonlight came through the window and right into Joni’s eyes. Joni moved her body out of the strip of light. She lay on her side, raised her hand and placed it in the light, watching the shadows on the pillow below. The house was still. She was restless. Her thoughts went to Jack and the first time she met him at the garage. Why did he leave her? Everyone leaves her. Even her own mind is leaving her. Joni flipped to her back and frustration grabbed her by the throat. She needed air, maybe a walk around the pond. Joni put her robe on and opened her bedroom door, making sure not to open past the groan. She made her way to the front door and closed it quietly behind her.

  As she strolled around the pond, the moonlight reflected against the dark water and made Joni think of Abbott Lake, Jack and their bodies coming together. How she missed him. She undid her robe and spun around letting the air flow in and round her nightgown.

  When she rounded the corner before heading up the hill, she looked back behind her at all the houses that lined the street on the other side of the pond. They were all dark. Except one. The house on the corner, its side faced the pond and its front faced the cross street. Joni stared at the light in the basement window. The window became a watercolor painting, and the light grew brighter and brighter. A woman stepped out from the window and motioned for Joni to come. Joni ran to the basement window of the house, but by the time she reached the window the woman disappeared. Was she inside? Joni placed her hand on the doorknob and turned it, lowered herself as close to the ground, almost in a squat and opened the door. She slid inside and quietly closed the door behind her, she didn’t want to frighten the woman away.

  Once her eyes adjusted, she saw a teenage boy. His back was to her. In front of him was a large piece of plywood that sat on top of two wooden stepladders. As he bent over, his shoulder blades poked up like two mountains from his black t-shirt. A single light bulb hung over his head with a long metal pull chain, which touched his hair when he straightened. His ears were plugged with white earphones. As Joni walked closer to him, she noticed a pot and a box of nails. The boy was cooking something.

  Joni tapped him on the shoulder and asked, “What are you cooking?”

  The boy jumped and all the nails in the box flew up into the air and landed around them.

  “Shit. Who the fuck are you?” the boy said and unplugged his ears.

  “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Joni said, bending down and collecting a handful of nails. Joni placed the nails on the plywood and went down to pick up another handful. “I’m so sorry. What are you cooking?”

  “How did you get in here?”

  “I just walked in.” Joni went to the front side of the table and swept the nails into her hand. She placed them on the table and looked at the boy. She could see his face now. His head looked too big for his body and she had to crane her neck for their eyes to meet. He stood at least seven feet tall and there was a darkness underneath his eyes. “You look tired.”

  “What’s wrong with you lady?”

  “Sometimes I can’t think straight, I have these damn tangles in my brain. I can’t remember things. What are you cooking in that pot?” Joni grabbed the pot and looked inside? But there was nothing, except for the few nails. The boy grabbed the pot back from Joni. He wore mechanic gloves, like the ones Jack used to wear. “Do you work on cars?” Joni said and pointed to the gloves.

  “No, I don’t. I want you to leave right now.”

  “But I just got here.” Joni pulled up a stool from behind her. “What’s your name?”

  “Wait a minute, I know you. You’re that crazy lady that lives in the blue house. I saw you in the snow the other day when I was driving to school.”

  “I do live in a blue house.”

  “Can you leave.” The boy walked over to the door and held it open for Joni. She remained seated on the stool and flipped through some of his notebooks and papers on the table. He ran over, grabbed the papers and books and stuffed them inside his camel backpack.

  “Riley, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Joni.”

  “Shit, lady, please leave.” Riley pulled up another stool and sat across from Joni.

  “No. I don�
��t think so. Do you see her?” Joni pointed and stared past Riley at the door.

  Riley turned his head to look behind him, “No, I don’t see anything. What the hell?”

  “She’s a watercolor. I can never see her face, but I see the shape of her and I feel warm and safe when she is around. She led me to you. You know I do things in secret too. Or I used to. Now I can’t remember where I placed my things. She wants me to ask you about your parents.”

  “Listen, how about this. I’ll take you back to your house and tell you about my parents. How about that?” Riley said stood up.

  “That would be nice. I know I can’t find the way. She’s gone now. I always feel sad when she goes.”

  Riley led Joni out the basement door. “Aren’t you cold? And where are your shoes?”

  Joni just stood outside the door and stared.

  “Okay fine. Can we walk if I tell you about my parents? Come on Lady.” Riley reached for Joni’s shoulder and pulled gently. “You’re not going to remember this anyway. My parents have no time for me. I embarrass them.”

  “Oh Riley, I am sure that’s not true. Mothers love their children. My mother died when I was five. You’re lucky to have a mother. I’m a mother, I love my girls. Why do you think you’re an embarrassment?”

  “There’s this thing in my brain that makes too much growing hormones and that’s why I am so tall. I get these shots to stop the hormones from making too much shit in my brain. But it doesn’t stop the people at school. They all hate me.”

  “I’m sorry. People are mean sometimes.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Riley, I still think your mother loves you.”

  “You’d think that, but she doesn’t. They’re never at home. I bet they wish I’d never been born.”

  His sadness filled her and then Joni’s brain failed her. She wanted to say something, something to comfort him. His head hung down as they walked. Joni felt the words come right to her lips, and then they were gone.

  They walked the hill to Joni’s house in silence.