by Aria Norton
There was still her dream of becoming a celebrated author, something that she had considered before her thoughts of becoming a governess. Freddi wanted to create beautiful romance stories with happy endings, stories that would give women like herself hope of finding the perfect suitor.
“Thank you for thinking of me, Duncan, but I assure you that a good, strong man is not what I need right now. Have you seen Caroline? 'Tis her shopping day today.”
"Pudding? No, I have yet to see her. Perhaps we should look for her together? Mama wishes me to ask her to bake a lovely apple pie for this Sunday's roast dinner. We have special guests coming to visit, and Mama wants everything to go swimmingly. As you know, Pudding has hands of gold when it comes to anything baked or cooked. She will make a good wife one day, even with her unfortunate pudgy body."
"Do not speak like that about my friend, Duncan! You cannot compliment her and pay her such disrespect in the same breath. Good day."
Freddi walked away from him with a sneering glance at the shocked man, marching into the thicket of the crowd. He had not truly angered her as Freddi was used to such comments. Caroline was not particularly bothered by them either as they slid off her like water off a duck's back. Duncan had merely given her an excuse to leave him and return to her search of her friend.
Thank goodness I have managed to leave him! He would not have let me alone for a minute had I agreed to him helping me look for Caroline.
Freddi heard her friend's laugh before she saw her. Her head snapped in the direction, narrowing her eyes for the tell-tale blonde head. As per usual, she found Caroline in the midst of many admirers, all of whom were trying to gain her attention. Caroline was having none of that, bartering with the fruit vendor for some peaches. Freddi shouldered her way into the crowd, calling out to her friend.
“Caroline!”
Her friend turned with a smile. “Freddi!” She looked at the men around her. “Gentlemen, would you mind moving away? My friend needs to get to me.”
They moved away, each trying to stay as close to her as possible. Caroline commands a crowd with such ease and such a tiny person. I find it truly amazing. Her friend held out her hand, pulling her forward as soon as Freddi laid her hands in hers.
"How are you, Freddi? I meant to send you a note as soon as I returned home, but now that I see you, I can tell you that you are more than welcome to share my room. My Master and Mistress are kind folk, they do not mind if I bring a friend to their estate."
“Thank you, Caro, I appreciate it, but I find that I must change my plans.”
Caroline's brow puckered. “Whatever for? Do you not wish to pay me a visit?”
“That is not the reason, dear friend. Do pay the vendor that I may speak with you alone? I have much to discuss with you.”
“You worry me, Freddi. What has happened?”
“Pay the vendor,” Freddi insisted. “And I shall explain it all to you once we are seated.”
Caroline nodded, taking out a few coins and handing them to the vendor.
“Please send these to the mansion, Mr Wilfred, along with everything else. Please, choose only the best for me; I am your favourite customer, after all.”
“Yes, my dear,” the vendor replied. “It will be as you say.”
“Lovely! Come, Freddi, I know where we may sit and have a little talk.”
Caroline led her to a secluded area of flat rocks with a few wildflowers scattered about. It was not far from the hustle and bustle of the town's people, but it was far enough that they would not be overheard.
“So,” her friend began. “Tell me what has put such a grim look on your face. I know that your parents have passed, but that is not the reason for your expression. What has happened?”
"Oh, where do I start, Caro? Everything seems to have fallen apart within the space of two weeks. Firstly, my parents left me, then I was dismissed from Blackmore Estate, and now Nash has returned, and I have been most rude to him."
Caroline stared at her with wide eyes. “Goodness! That is a great deal! Pause for a moment, and tell me each thing step by step. Start with your dismissal. Why on earth have you been dismissed? What could have happened?”
Freddi sighed. "Well, you know that Lord Blackmore has never had a fond feeling for me. I daresay that he hated me after Nash's accident ten years ago."
“But that was hardly your doing, Freddi! How can he dismiss you? You have lived at Blackmore Estate all your life, how can he make you leave your home?”
"He is able to, and he is doing it. He must think that now Mama and Papa are no more, he can do as he has always wished to do. The man does not like me, Caro, I am surprised that he did not have me thrown out sooner."
“Why, this is terrible! When must you leave?”
“He has given me two weeks. I must not only find employment but a place to stay as well. Hopefully, both will come at the same time.”
“Horrid man! How dare he do this to you? Do not worry, Freddi, I shall ask my Mistress if there is an opening for you.”
“Would you? That would be a relief for me, Caro. Even if there should be nothing, I know that you would have tried.”
Caroline gave her a side hug. “For you, Freddi, I would do anything.” She moved back again, placing her plump hand under her chin. “Now, tell me about our runaway man. Did I hear you correctly when you said that Nash has returned? Your Nash?”
“The very same.
“Heavens! When did he come back? The last that I heard of him he was in France.”
“He was, but he must have returned just today.”
“And what did he say to you? You must miss him terribly.”
“I am afraid that I was not kind to him. My resentment has gotten the best of me, and I have driven him away.”
Caroline sighed, shaking her head. “You have pined for him for so long, and now you have pushed him away. However, Nash is not a man so easily deterred; perhaps he will return to you.”
“I shall not have any high hopes of that happening, Caro, I may have hurt him with my words. You did not see his face.”
Caroline patted her hand. “But you can still make amends, Freddi. Simply go to him and apologise.”
“I am too angry with him to do such a thing. He is part of the reason why I am in this predicament. If he had not defied his father all those years ago, then none of this would have happened.”
“Surely you cannot blame him for all that has happened? Freddi, you are behaving unreasonably with the poor man. Shame on you.”
Freddi looked away. What Caroline said was right, she knew this, but that did not mean that she was entirely wrong.
"There still remains the fact that he did not send me a letter, not one during the ten years he was away. I did not know his address, but I have not moved in all the years he has been away. What is his excuse? And do you know that he did not say one thing in defence of his actions? He merely wished for me to welcome him home with open arms."
Caroline lifted a delicate blonde eyebrow. "Did you give him an opportunity to explain his silence?"
"That is beside the point," Freddi mumbled.
Her friend laughed, a melodious sound that always attracted attention.
“And what has made you laugh so?”
"You are an odd creature, Freddi. You are not one to admit your blunders, that I have come to know very well. You will have to inform me of your next plan of action as I can see that you will not take any advice contrary to yours." Caroline stood up, picking her basket off the floor. "I must be going, you know how much Cook relies on me."
They said their goodbyes before going their own way. Freddi would not return home just yet, she needed to begin her search for work.
“I hope that my search is fruitful, I have many years of experience and most if not all of Alfriston know of me.”
Someone would surely need a maid?
***
Judging from her attitude, Freddi was well indeed. What was the point of coming to Blackmor
e if the person he had come to see had rejected him?
She was so angry, quite the opposite of what I had hoped she would be.
What he should do was go to town and find lodgings for the night before finding the first ride out of England. Nash would return to France, his home. England was no longer his country; it had not served him well. He looked once more at his childhood home, turning away with a sigh. He had wasted his time coming here, it was just as well that no one had informed his father of his arrival.
“Nash.”
He winced. I spoke too soon. He may not have heard that voice in seven years, but Nash would never forget it. He turned to the man, his body stiffening when he saw him. He has aged, and none too well.
“Father, how are you?”
“Come inside.”
"What? No greeting for your prodigal son?"
Lord Blackmore narrowed his eyes. Best not to anger him, although I find that I do not care too much if I should send him into a rage.
“I suppose not. Very well, I shall come for a moment or two.”
His father disappeared into the house, and Nash was left figuring out which room to go to. He spotted their old butler, a friendly face in a house of bitter people.
“Dagwood, my good man! How does it go with you?”
The old man's face lit up. “Oh, bless my soul! Lord Salisbury, is that you?”
“In the flesh, although I do not go by that title. I prefer the use of my own name.”
“Very well, but I shall not use it in the presence of your father.”
"No, no, we would not want to infuriate the Master, would we?"
The man looked at him sadly. “So much sarcasm, young sir. You have changed.”
“That I have, Dagwood. Kindly point me in the direction my father has taken.”
“I believe that he has gone to the study. Shall I come with some refreshments?”
“No, I do not expect to be here long.”
Nash walked away from the butler, glad that he had had the opportunity to speak to him, if but for a minute or so. Now I shall have to deal with a man who will give me neither a warm welcome nor a smile. After a single knock, Nash entered his father's study. The last time he had been here, his father had warned him to stay away from Freddi. How time has flown, but this room remains the same, if not a little untidier.
“You wished to speak with me, Father?”
“Yes, take a seat.”
Nash did so, crossing his leg at an angle. His father rested his arms on his desk, linking his fingers. More wrinkles could be seen on his brow and around his mouth, and his once black hair was more white than black. Time has not been kind to him, or rather I should say that his attitude to life has aged him.
“What is it that you wish to say, Father? I am afraid that I do not have much time to spare.”
“Surely you can spare time for your own father?”
If someone were to be a fly on the wall, they would not know that he and his father had not seen each other in many years. It was as though they had seen each other just that morning and were discussing a matter.
“If you insist.”
His father gave a rueful laugh. “If I insist. Still the same insolent boy.”
Nash shrugged. “Times have not changed.”
He could have cut the tension in the room with a knife; it was so thick. Has he brought me here to lecture me?
“You did not send a letter to say that you were coming.”
“It was a spontaneous decision on my part. I do not intend to inconvenience you, Father, I shall leave as soon as you allow me to.”
The Marquis nodded. “Then I suppose that I should get to the point.”
“It would be helpful.”
“Have you come to apologise for your blunder?”
Nash tilted his head. “And which would that be, Father? I do not recall any blunder that I should apologise for.”
“Have you not learned your lesson, boy? Has the loss of your inheritance not taught you a thing?”
"Of course it has, but I daresay nothing like what you have imagined in your head. I have learned not to rely on one's family, but to accept the kindness of strangers where needed and to become independent. Shall I ask you a question?"
The only response Nash received was a raised eyebrow, but he carried on.
“Have you seen the error of your ways?”
“I think that you have mistaken me for some other man, Nash. I have committed no errors, at least, none that concern you. You were the one to put your life in danger after I forbade you from seeing that girl. You did not listen to me. I believed that the fastest way to make you see your mistake was taking away your inheritance. I did what any father would have done in my position.”
"Now there you are wrong, Father, but I shall not argue with you. Rather, I shall take my leave."
Nash walked out of there quickly, nearly running over his stepmother. He steadied her, looking into the face of a woman on the verge of tears.
“Nash!” she cried. “Is it truly you?”
He smiled. “You look lovely as always, Stepmother.”
“Oh you, always saying such silly things. When did you arrive? Shall I get you something to eat? To drink? Would you like me to have your old room prepared?”
Nash wiped away the older woman's tears with his thumb.
“I do not like to see you cry, Stepmother.”
“I am just so happy to see you, Nash! I have missed you so.”
Nash felt a little ashamed that he had not thought of her as much as he had thought of Freddi.
"And I, you. How have you been?"
“Well, the same as always. Nothing has changed here.”
“That seems to be a theme.”
“What do you mean?”
He shook his head. “Never mind that. I am happy to see you once again after so many years. I despaired of ever seeing the woman who treated me like her own.”
She took his face in her hands. “You are my son, Nash, it does not matter to me that I did not carry you in my womb. You have always been such a kind son, I was blessed to be the one to raise you.” Her hands fell away. “If only that incident had not happened, then you would not have left us.”
“Do not feel terrible about it, Stepmother, there was nothing that you could have done. I wish that I could stay longer, but I must find lodging in town.”
“Oh no, you must stay with us.”
That was something that Nash would not do. He could not live under the same roof as his father after tasting freedom.
“That is not possible, Stepmother. There is a tavern in town that I know will have a room for me, and there is a carriage that passes by to take me on the first leg of my journey back to France.”
At the mention of the word leg, his stepmother looked down.
