Walking The Razor: A Montague & Strong Detective Novel

by Orlando A. Sanchez

  She glared at me as I produced an empty plate a few seconds later. She pushed her plate forward, shaking her head.

  “This is impossible,” she said. “Does he always serve you this much?”

  I nodded.

  “Let’s go,” I said, getting up. Peaches shook his body, nearly tipping the table over as he joined me. “Eyes front. Don’t engage the natives. They saw us at Ezra’s table, which should keep them calm…for now.”

  “Is he really the Death?” Jessikah asked under her breath. “He just seemed like a pleasant, but quirky, old man.”

  “He is…until he isn’t.”

  “Pardon?” she said, as we headed to the door. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “He’s Death, capital D,” I said. “Why don’t you ask him to show you next time?”

  She shuddered in response.

  “No, thank you. I think I prefer the old-man disguise.”

  “Most do,” I said, opening the door. “Let’s go see Grey.”

  SEVEN

  We arrived at the Dark Goat only to be met by a reception party of three.

  They were looking particularly scowly and self-important, sizing us up—well, Jessikah, actually, like something out of a strange version of West Side Story. Any second now, I half expected them to break into song and dance with a rendition of “When you’re a mage, you’re a mage to the end.”

  I chuckled to myself at the image, which only made Jessikah glance at me, probably questioning my sanity. She quickly turned back to focus on the reception party.

  They were low-level mages, judging from the energy signatures, and were giving Jessikah some hard stares, barely acknowledging my presence. I almost felt insulted. Not even my hellhound got a second glance. Peaches always got a second glance. Sometimes even a third.

  They were either clueless or suicidal. No one ignored a hellhound…for long.

  These three were doing their best to be imposing. They were dressed in typical mageiform: black suits with the black ensemble to go with it. The only difference was that I was used to Monty’s runed, bespoke, Zegna suits, and these three clearly shopped at Benny’s Bargain Basement.

  I looked for the leader of the group. There was always one who acted as spokesperson and defacto point man. This one stood in the middle of the trio, arms crossed and legs slightly apart. I gave him a cool look and raised an eyebrow in my best Spock imitation, before Peaches gently nudged my leg. This time he actually managed to just nudge my leg, not dislocate my hip. I still had to take a step to the side, to regain my balance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  I glanced at Jessikah.

  She was doing a good job at maintaining a calm exterior, but her energy signature was all over the place. She was scared. I glanced over at the three mages.

  They were smarter than they looked. They knew better than to attempt an attack inside Ezra’s. Seemed they enjoyed breathing. They were standing close, but not too close, to the Dark Goat and waiting for us. Well…mostly waiting for Jessikah.

  They must have seen us exit the Dark Goat when we arrived. They only slightly miscalculated. Anyone else would have sensed the menace from the Dark Goat and thought twice about confronting its driver. Somehow, they missed it or didn’t care. I was leaning to the suicidal side of the equation with these three.

  “Friends of yours?” I asked as we approached. “They look upset.”

  “I don’t have friends,” Jessikah replied. “I’m a Black Orchid. Friends would only make me vulnerable.”

  “It’s good to have friends,” I said. “Even I have friends, and I’m mostly antisocial.”

  “I never had the opportunity nor inclination to make any. My sect, the Black Orchid, actively discouraged it.”

  There was something in her voice, a mixture of bitterness and sadness rooted in regret. Her response was something I, too, had believed long ago. Living that way only led to being angry, lonely, and alone. Not a good place for anyone to be, especially for a mage wielding destructive amounts of energy.

  “Friends will also save your ass when you’re in a tight spot,” I said, thinking about how many times Monty had prevented my disintegration by irate beings. “Even if they’re the reason you’re in a tight spot to begin with.”

  “Friends are a liability,” she answered, stepping forward. “I was taught to eliminate all liabilities from my life.”

  I opened my jacket, making sure I had access to Grim Whisper. I didn’t think it would escalate to the point that I would need it, but I was dealing with mages. Things always escalated. If the Three Stooges wanted to attack, they would have by now. They were probably just as scared as Jessikah.

  “Got it,” I said with a nod, taking a step back. “All yours then. You may want to open with diplomacy. Seems to never work for me or Monty, but there’s always a first time.”

  She glanced back at me again with a look of, You can’t be seriously suggesting diplomacy before approaching the three.

  “Can I help you?” Jessikah asked the three mages, as she took a few more steps forward. “Do you need assistance?”

  “You can’t help me, you Black Orchid bitch,” the leader said. “My brother was erased because of you Black Orchids.”

  Things were escalating quickly. It seemed like the diplomacy was going in typical mage style…south, and fast. At least no one was trying to kill anyone yet, which was always a win.

  “I’m afraid I had nothing to do with that,” Jessikah answered apologetically. “If he was erased, I’m certain he was engaged in an illicit activity that merited an erasure.”

  Ouch. Wrong answer.

  “Are you saying my brother deserved to be erased? Is that what you’re saying?”

  “Was I not being clear?” Jessikah asked. “An erasure is usually the result of a mage taking action that jeopardizes the life of others…in extremis.”

  The Latin was a nice touch, but I was convinced diplomacy was a failed strategy when mages were involved. Even though what she was saying was technically correct, it wasn’t what these three wanted to hear.

  They just wanted an excuse to fight.

  I let my hand drift to Grim Whisper’s holster. I didn’t want to risk forming Ebonsoul, especially with my energy signature acting wonky. This situation needed diffusing before someone got hurt.

 

 

 

 

 

  Peaches let out a low rumble.

  The two mages on either side of the leader looked past Jessikah and focused on Peaches. Both of them took a small step back.

  “Richard…?” the mage on the left said, tapping the leader’s shoulder as he pointed to Grim Whisper. “Maybe we should do this another time? He’s got a gun.”

  “So what, Tony?” Richard snapped, narrowing his eyes at me. “We’re mages. I don’t know what he is, but he isn’t a mage. Just some freak with a big dog.”

  “That dog looks weird,” the mage on the right chimed in. “He’s kind of large…and ferocious-looking.”

  I looked down to see Peaches trying to be ‘friendly’ with an enormous hellhound smile.

 

  e cat-lady.>

 

 

  For once, Frank and I agreed on something.

 

 

 

 

 

  “Stop being such chickenshits,” Richard said, brushing Tony’s hand away. “He’s not even a threat.” Richard pointed at me. “You’re scared of a guy with a dog? What’s wrong with you? Mage the hell up. We’re doing this.”

  “I don’t know,” Tony said, shaking his head. “He feels weird, and that’s not a regular dog.”

  Now, I really felt insulted. They knew I was there…but I was being intentionally dismissed. If this kept up, my feelings might actually be bruised or something.

  Still I waited. This wasn’t my fight…yet.

  I wasn’t going to let them beat on Jessikah, but I needed to know if she could handle herself. I had a feeling that Evers and Talin were going to be significantly more dangerous than three low-level mage punks trying to establish how badass they were. I didn’t even want to think about facing a semi-dark Monty. I chuckled to myself again. A semi-dark Monty sounded like something I would say to a barista. It was becoming increasingly apparent that my energy signature was screwing with my thought processes.

  “Would you like to file a formal complaint?” Jessikah asked, really attempting the diplomacy route and failing spectacularly. “If you give me your name, I’m sure I could—”

  “File this,” Richard said, forming an orb of bright yellow flame and unleashing it. “Burn, bitch.”

  EIGHT

  Before I could draw Grim Whisper, Jessikah moved.

  I was surprised at her velocity. She flicked the burning orb away with one hand, diverting its trajectory…right at me. I jumped to the side, avoiding the orb as it crashed into the wall behind me, destroying some of the bricks.

  “I’d prefer not being collateral damage today, thanks,” I said. “Can you handle them, or do you need help?”

  “It’s being handled,” Jessikah said, without turning. “Please stay back. For your own safety.”

  “That wasn’t much of an orb,” I muttered to myself, examining the minimal damage, as Peaches padded forward. “Wait. She’s got this.”

  Peaches stopped with a low growl, causing the mages on either side of Richard to take a step back.

  “Attacking a Black Orchid agent is a punishable offense according to statute 3.141592, Section P, subsection I,” Jessikah said, forming an orb of dark red energy. “I’m willing to let you off with a warning—this time. Will you cease and desist from your current course of action?”

  I’d never heard of the statute, but it made sense. If the Black Orchid was some sort of mage police, attacking them would have consequences. Painful ones.

  Richard formed another orb…larger this time.

  “Richard,” I said, letting my hand rest on Grim Whisper, “don’t be stupid. She doesn’t want to hurt you, but if you keep flinging your balls of flame around”—I glanced at the destruction of the wall behind me—“lame balls of flame I might add, I will shoot you and your friends.”

  “Don’t worry, freak,” Richard answered with another sneer. “I’ll take care of you and your mutant dog right after I’m done with her.”

  I looked from my hellhound to the minimal damage Richard’s orb had caused to the wall, and shook my head.

  “Did you not have breakfast this morning?” I asked, thumbing over my shoulder to the wall and moving forward. “I hope you have more firepower than that.”

  “Enough to deal with a freak like you and your mutant mutt.”

  Jessikah raised a hand to me and I stood down.

  “Just so you know,” I said, moving back, “I’m not appreciating the insults.”

  “Please let me handle this,” she said, without turning away from Richard. “Is this your final response?”

  Richard nodded.

  “You die today, Orchid,” Richard answered with a sneer. “We’re going to make sure of it.”

  By this point, Richard had lost his bookends. They had moved so far back, Richard was basically standing alone against Jessikah. She cocked her head to one side.

  I made sure my mala-bead bracelet was free and accessible. His orbs didn’t seem to have the power to do serious damage, but that didn’t mean I wanted to get peppered by them either.

  “I don’t think your friends agree with you,” Jessikah answered. “Seems like you’re on your own.”

  Richard glanced to his sides and cursed under his breath.

  “You cowards,” he said, forming another flame orb. “She’s nothing. I’m going to make sure you two hurt when I’m done here.”

  They took off at speed.

 

 

  Richard was a bully. I was seriously considering just shooting him and calling it a day, but Jessikah wanted to deal with him. I knew better than to step on a mage’s fragile ego.

  Without taking her eyes off him, Jessikah responded with a short nod.

  “You’ll be too busy dealing with your own pain to inflict any on anyone else,” she said. “Last chance to surrender.”

  Richard answered by throwing his orbs at her, but she was already moving. After her last move, I anticipated she’d be hard to hit, and I pressed the main bead on my mala bracelet, activating my shield. I made sure Peaches was next to me.

  One of the orbs bounced off the shield and caromed into a parked car, causing a dent. The other orb sailed past, missing us completely. Anemic and inaccurate—this mage needed to go back to mage school, or wherever it was they trained. Even my magic missile wasn’t that weak.

  Jessikah unleashed her orb.

  From the moment she formed it, I knew it was stronger than Richard’s. It wasn’t quite at Monty’s level, which only reinforced the fact that sending her after Monty was a one-way mission.

  Her orb slammed into Richard, punching him in the chest. He was airborne a second later. The look of surprise lasted until he crashed into the concrete, where it was quickly replaced by a grimace of pain. He landed hard and cursed. I saw him slowly make his way to his feet before I shot him, once.

  Jessikah whirled on me with a look of surprise and anger.

  “You shot him?” she asked, walking over to where Richard lay. “Did you…?”

  “It’s the middle of the morning on 1st Avenue, and you planned on what?” I asked, realizing I was the last person who should be calling her on this. “Having a mage duel in the middle of the day on a crowded city street? That would be discreet. I’m sure no one would notice.”

  “I, uh, didn’t think of that,” Jessikah answered, looking down at the now writhing Richard. “That was reckless, though. You could have killed him.”

  “Do I come across as some cold-blooded killer to you?” I asked, staring at her and seeing the answer in her face. “Never mind. I didn’t kill him.”

  “What is that smell?” she said, stepping back from Richard. “Did he soil himself?”

  Peaches chuffed and padded away.

 

 

  “Persuader rounds,” I said, tapping Grim Whisper as I holstered it. “They take the fight out of mages, along with anything currently in their bowels.”

  “What are persuader rounds?” she said, covering her face and stepping back even farther as Richard moaned in pain and gastrointestinal distress. “That smell is horrid.”

  “Persuader rounds are designed to scramble neural networks,” I said. “For mages, it means no more spell-casting for a good ten-to-twenty minutes.”

  “It suppresses runic energy?” she asked, narrowing h
er eyes at me.

  “In addition to making the target lose control of all bodily functions,” I replied, pulling out my phone. “That’s the stench you smell. Richard here was a little shit. I just helped him reveal his true nature.”

  “That’s…quite effective,” Jessikah said. “Undignified, but effective.”

  “It’s hard to focus on killing someone when your bowels no longer listen to you and expel, well, everything,” I said. “I use Persuaders when lethal force is not the answer, contrary to popular belief.”

  “You are the known associate of a dark mage,” Jessikah answered. “What was I supposed to think? The amount of destruction you and your partner have caused in the past is staggering. Even by mage standards.”

  “There were extenuating circumstances,” I said, raising a finger. “Give me a moment. We need to have your friend here picked up.”

  “He is not my friend,” Jessikah answered, covering her nose. “Disgusting.”

  The call connected.

  “I was just about to call you,” Ramirez’s gruff voice answered. “Where are you?”

  “I’m down the block from the deli,” I said. “I need a pick up.”

  Everyone knew about Ezra’s, especially the NYTF. They made sure to give it plenty of latitude—considering who Ezra was—but they kept an eye on it…from a distance.

  The New York Task Force, or NYTF, was a quasi-military police force, created to deal with any supernatural event occurring in New York City. Ezra’s Deli more than qualified as supernatural.

  “Have you been near City Hall in the last few days?” Ramirez asked. He was fishing. “Anywhere near City Hall park?”

  “I haven’t even been in town for the last few days.”

  “Do you have someone that can back up your story?” he asked. “Someone besides the mage?”

  “Since when do I have to verify my whereabouts?” I asked, somewhat bothered. This was unlike him. “What’s going on? This is me you’re talking to, Angel.”

  “That’s exactly why I’m asking,” he said with a long sigh. “I got the brass all over my ass on this, and I thought maybe there was a simple solution…like you, the mage, and your cute puppy of destruction.”