by Lee Winter
“Bess, dear. I do apologize,” Grace said from where she sat regally at the table.
Elizabeth couldn’t believe what she was seeing. “Grace? How did you get in here?”
The other woman’s smile was amused. “Quite easily. When I explained who I was to your production manager—she loved me in Hanover Square by the way—and that I was your acting coach, she pointed out your trailer. When you didn’t answer my knock just now, I let myself in. I heard the shower and knew you wouldn’t mind if I waited.”
“I…see.” Elizabeth hesitated, not quite sure whether to join her or find clothes first. “This is a surprise. You don’t do random set visits. And you haven’t been my acting coach for some time. More of a mentor, wasn’t it?”
“Past tense now?” Grace offered an inscrutable look. “Have we fallen so far?” She glanced around. “Before we get into that, do you have any wine?”
“I don’t drink wine.” Elizabeth sighed. How many times have I told her this? “I’m allergic, remember? I have some gin. I think Summer drank the last of the old bottle,” she added to herself as she rummaged about for her stash. She opened a cupboard above her head.
“Summer’s your drinking buddy now?”
“Just once.” She snagged her other bottle and closed the cupboard. “So, Grace, to what do I owe the visit?”
“I missed you. And after our last chat, I became concerned. You sounded so stressed. Then the call ended abruptly and I couldn’t reach you because of the poor reception. I was worried. I had to make sure you were all right.”
Elizabeth located a pair of drinking glasses. “The call ended abruptly because I hung up on you.” Which Grace had to have known. “So are you here because you wanted to continue berating my co-star?”
Grace eyed Elizabeth serenely and folded her hands in her lap. “I do apologize for that. You caught me on a dreadful day. Summer’s perfectly delightful, of course, and so much talent; you’re quite right about that. I’m sorry if I ever suggested otherwise.”
Suggested? Elizabeth poured them both a gin. “What’s changed? Because I’m fairly sure you called Summer a ‘talentless blond bimbo who used her parents’ influence to get her jobs and her pert, youthful body to keep them’. Did I leave anything out?”
Waving her hand, Grace said breezily, “Oh, just ignore me. You know how I get. Amrit was being a bit on the beastly side this week, flaunting his new…well, I’m not sure what that boy of his is. He mixes drinks, for goodness sake. Not exactly an intellectual giant. I was distracted. But I promise, I didn’t mean a word of it. It was beneath me. Your little friend’s a delight. She’s so…sunny, isn’t she?”
Pushing a Hendrick’s over the table to Grace, Elizabeth studied her. She sounded sincere, but the woman was a first-class actress. On the other hand, Grace was right about one thing. She did get into foul moods at times, usually when Amrit’s eye was roaming to some new man or woman of the hour, and no one could do anything right.
“So why the visit? We’re wrapping up at the end of next week. You could have said all of this to me back home.”
“Why wait?” Grace examined the clear liquid in her glass. “No ice?”
Elizabeth shrugged. She hadn’t gotten around to filling the tray. And she wasn’t Grace’s bartender.
“Look, darling, you’ve never hung up on me before.” Grace’s expression was pained. “So naturally I assumed the worst, that I must have upset you greatly. I can’t have that, Bess. You mean the world to me. You do.” She reached over and clasped Elizabeth’s hand. “I should say it more often.”
Elizabeth’s heart gave a little quiver. How often had she wished Grace would acknowledge her value? However, Elizabeth was no longer twenty and craving her mentor’s attention like air.
Grace took a sip of her drink. “Ahh, Hendrick’s,” she said with a sigh. “It’s a constant in a world that’s coming apart, isn’t it? Yet another thing I like about you.” She smiled, and it was as though Elizabeth was the only person who’d ever existed for her. “Lovely to share it with someone who appreciates it. Hmm?”
Nice dig at Summer. Elizabeth studied her friend. She wore a starched, high-collared shirt—Elizabeth’s weakness—a tight charcoal pencil skirt, nude stockings, and four-inch designer heels. Elegance in spades. Enough to trip up any poor sap who didn’t see all that charisma coming. Grace could bend anyone to her will when it suited her. Well, anyone, except Amrit. Sometimes Elizabeth wondered if that was his allure.
“Now then, tell me, how goes filming?” Grace said.
“We got through the hardest scene today. Another challenging one tomorrow. The rest is smooth sailing.”
“Oh yes, today’s racy sex scene.” Grace’s tinkle of laughter filled the room. “Your production manager told me about it on the walk over here. Those scenes can be difficult—all that nudity and swinging from the chandeliers. I’m sure you’re handling it well.”
“I’m fine. It was over before I knew it.”
“Excellent.” Grace adjusted the strap of her gold watch. “Must have been hard for Summer, though. She’s young. And it’s especially challenging for former child stars, trying to play sexual for the first time. Did the poor girl survive?”
“Summer rose to the challenge. Jean-Claude was impressed. But she’s an excellent actress, as you know.” Elizabeth couldn’t resist the jab.
Grace said nothing for a moment, then shifted her glass from one hand to the other before placing it squarely on the table. “Well, that’s good to hear. I’m only looking out for you. You know that, don’t you?” Her gaze intensified.
“Yes,” Elizabeth replied by rote, wondering how certain she was of that answer.
Grace squeezed her hand with finality and let go.
“And Summer is a good person.” Why had she added that? It wasn’t relevant.
Grace paused. “Of course. She’s quite lovely, isn’t she? I suppose she reminds you of your younger self.”
“I’m sorry?” Elizabeth stared in astonishment.
“Don’t you see it? So full of life, ambition, and youthful exuberance? That is why you’re her friend. She makes you feel young. There’s no shame in that. Especially living where we do. This town makes women feel old long before their time. It’s only natural to be drawn to the young things who remind us there’s plenty of life left.”
Elizabeth gasped, as the obvious smacked her in the face. All their mutual friends were younger than Grace. “That’s why you hang out with us?”
“Well, I can’t deny it. There. You know my secret.” Grace laughed. “Your Cambridge friends make me feel young. They’re all still so enthusiastic, aren’t they?”
Your friends. After all these years, did Grace see none of the people she’d wined, dined, and partied with for seventeen years as her own friends? How was that even possible?
Regardless of Grace’s views, her charge was untrue. Elizabeth didn’t use Summer to feel young. In fact, she liked to think she didn’t use Summer at all.
Shame streaked through her at the memory of disappointed eyes staring into hers not even an hour ago. Damn it. Elizabeth was too old to kiss a pretty girl, then try to take it back. Her lips burned with the memory.
“Now then,” Grace straightened, “I just needed to check in on you, but you seem fine. So I should really get back.”
“What?” Elizabeth looked at the wall clock. “It’s late. There’s probably a spare trailer around here. I could ask—”
“Oh, I’m not going all the way back tonight. I’ll stay over at Fresno till morning. I have a hotel that’s five-star and fabulous. I’ve stayed there before.”
Elizabeth sighed inwardly. “But…” Why come all this way and then leave? “Are you sure you don’t want me to ask about a trailer?”
“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about me. You have a movie to make, and I’ll only distract
you. I won’t have that. Career first. Always!”
Suddenly it was like old times, her mentor drilling lessons into her. Elizabeth nodded, wondering if her confusion showed.
“Bye, dearest. I look forward to seeing you in a few weeks. We’ll catch up properly then. Come home soon.” She dropped a kiss beside Elizabeth’s mouth and gave her a dazzling smile, one of the knockout ones that got her on the covers of magazines.
After opening the door to the trailer, she paused, then suddenly turned back. “Oh and take pity on the girl. It can be extra…tricky…when your co-star’s so clearly interested in something she can never have.” Her pointed gaze made her meaning clear. “Poor Summer.”
“What makes you think she’s interested in me?”
“At your party night? The way her eyes never left you. She looked lost whenever you left the room. Telling, if you recognize the signs. I know silly crushes can make things difficult. But I’m sure you’re across all that. As I keep saying, stay focused on work, and it’ll be over soon. Bye, dear.”
Fifteen minutes and one shower later, juggling an MP3 player, speaker set, and serious snacks, Summer made her way outside.
She rehearsed her little speech. “Hope you don’t mind some company. Want to hear what sort of music I like? I promise it’ll make you laugh. Also, I bear gifts of popcorn and snacks. And let’s talk about your wandering lips.”
Okay, scratch that last bit. She’d work up to it.
As she approached Elizabeth’s door, it flung open, and a tall, elegant woman came briefly into view before disappearing again. Summer stopped, feeling she should know her. Was it some actress who needed to run lines or something? But that was odd. She’d thought Elizabeth had already finished all her scenes with other actresses, apart from Summer herself.
The woman’s sensuous voice drifted down the steps. “At your party night? The way her eyes never left you. She looked lost whenever you left the room. Telling, if you recognize the signs. I know silly crushes can make things difficult. But I’m sure you’re across all that. As I keep saying, stay focused on work, and it’ll be over soon. Bye, dear.”
Grace. No doubting that voice, even before she slapped the door closed and turned, catching sight of Summer. Those cruel words cut through to the bone.
They both froze, taking in each other’s measure.
What on earth is she doing all the way out here?
With a long look at Summer’s armful of snacks and electronics, followed by a knowing smile, Grace leaned against the trailer door, folding her arms. The move blocked Summer’s path and claimed ownership over the trailer in one fell swoop. Her smile turned mocking.
Summer could only stare back as a number of things clicked into place. Elizabeth’s kiss. The refusal to offer more while not denying she was gay. The blindly devoted way Elizabeth always stood up for her mentor. The way Grace had divined Summer’s romantic interest in Elizabeth.
Her arms went numb, and her armful of booty dropped to the ground in a tangled mess. As she clambered to pick everything up, Summer’s cheeks burned. She peered back up at the territorial woman guarding the door.
Brain short circuiting, Summer scrambled back to her own trailer. Christ. I’m such a blind idiot. How had she never seen it before?
Elizabeth and Grace.
Chapter 18
The camera sank into the room. The boom mic slid lower. Standing beside the bed, Elizabeth inhaled, centering her thoughts on the uniform-clad form of Lucille twisted in sheets before her. And then it began.
“You’re not real,” she whispered. “You don’t love me. You don’t want me. Or my touch. Because you’re me. You’re not even here. Are you?”
A mocking, cold smile crossed Summer’s face. “It’s only you,” she confirmed. “Alone. Again.”
A tear slid down Elizabeth’s cheek. “But you matter to me.” She dropped onto the bed, taking Summer’s hand. The fingers lay limp in her own. “You mean everything to me. What will I do now?”
Summer lifted her fingers to trace Elizabeth’s tears, eyes cold and empty. “What you’ve always done.”
“What’s that?” Fear laced her voice.
“You know.”
“I don’t.”
“Yes. You do.” Certainty filled Summer’s face.
Elizabeth bowed her head and tears splashed down her cheeks. She willed herself to stop. She wasn’t supposed to be crying so openly, but somehow Summer’s coldness always brought emotions out in her. Seeing her so detached, even if it was just superb acting, broke Elizabeth’s heart.
“I need you,” she whispered. A tear splashed on her lap.
“Oh, Elspeth. No. You don’t.”
On a flat rock, between two scraggly gray-green bushes, Summer sat, gazing into the black pools of a nearby creek. She hugged the front of her bent legs, chin propped on her jeans-clad knees. It wasn’t far from the set, but it was far enough that all she could hear were crickets and distant birds. She closed her eyes to soak in the last warmth of the setting sun.
She’d survived another day of filming. Today had required stop-start shooting from multiple angles to show Lucille jumping in and out of Elspeth’s mind. Lucille was symbolic of the writer’s mental decay. How apt, given Elizabeth was symbolic of Summer’s.
This morning, the other woman had unraveled in front of Summer, clutched her hand, and told her she needed her. Irony of ironies. The longer the scene had dragged on, the more desperate Summer had become for it to end, because she could barely meet her co-star’s tear-stained eyes.
Having Elizabeth Thornton gaze at you like you really mattered when the opposite was true was cruelty upon cruelty.
She hoped Lucille’s cold mask had been strong enough, powerful enough to hide her feelings. All night she’d tossed and turned over Grace’s cruel words, her staking her claim over Elizabeth, mocking Summer’s feelings with a single, knowing glance. Followed by Summer’s humiliating scramble to safety.
Today, three things seemed crystal clear: Elizabeth Thornton was gay as hell. She was in love with Grace. And she’d kissed Summer as if her soul needed it. Yet those three things couldn’t all co-exist. Something had to give. And that something was Summer. She’d be the one hurt.
She was hurting plenty already.
“May I join you?”
Summer’s eyes flew open. She nodded, heart thudding furiously, shocked to have not heard the footsteps.
Elizabeth settled beside her on the rock, hair falling over the flannel collar of her shirt. Still in costume? She must’ve come straight from set.
For long minutes, neither spoke as they watched the view.
“How’d you find me out here?” Summer closed her eyes again.
“I had a fifty-fifty bet which way you went. Up or down the road. I asked one of the local guys which was more scenic.”
“Okay.” Summer tried to sound indifferent.
“You were amazing today. I felt everything. A lot more coldness from Lucille than I’d expected but it was an interesting choice. You seemed to surprise Jean-Claude.”
“He liked it.” Summer had seen the approval in his eyes.
“Yes. But your animosity toward Elspeth seemed more…personal?” Elizabeth hesitated. “Or did I imagine that?”
“I had good motivation.”
A bird squawked overhead, and Summer opened her eyes to seek it out.
“You mean me? Have I…angered you?”
Summer didn’t reply immediately. She cast her gaze across the setting sun. It was so beautiful out here. Or it would be if she didn’t feel so fractured, like trying to trace an Escher puzzle in her head. “When were you going to tell me?” The words fell out, dull and flat.
“About what?”
“You liking women?”
Elizabeth frowned. “I did explain how charged it was on set yesterday
. How emotions…leaked. I was wrong to kiss you. I shouldn’t have put you in that position. It was unprofessional.”
Summer gave her an incredulous look. Yet again Elizabeth had dodged the question with a non-answer. Summer regarded her. Was this woman ever without her careful, precise mask that kept her true face from the world? Did she allow anyone in? Did anyone really know her? Anyone other than perfect Grace?
Tentatively, Elizabeth asked, “Is this about the kiss? Or something else?”
“When were you going to tell me?” Summer repeated, even flatter this time. She waited for another denial. It would fit, wouldn’t it? How little Summer rated on Elizabeth’s friendship scale? Not worthy of trust, even after she’d emptied her heart out to her? Was it fair to expect the truth, though? They hadn’t known each other long. Was Summer being unreasonable here?
“Where’s this coming from?”
Another non-answer. “Grace.”
“What?” The shock that flooded Elizabeth’s face was almost comical.
“I saw her outside your trailer last night. Our paths crossed.” Pain seared through her at the thought. “Piece of work, your friend.” Her teeth gritted.
“Summer…” Elizabeth looked confused. “What did she say?”
“That’s just it.” Summer spread her hands. “Not a single damned word. She didn’t have to. But she looked me up and down, inside and out, and she knew. Everything. I know she did. She knew why I was there, what I felt. And I looked at her. And…suddenly I knew, too. I knew her thoughts. And that was all either of us needed. So I left.”
“How…” Elizabeth’s shoulders bunched up. “How did she look at you?”
“Like you were hers. And I was trespassing on what’s hers.”
Elizabeth’s shoulders sagged. “Oh, that. She’s my mentor. She has, I’m aware, a certain feeling of ownership of my career and it manifests itself as—”
“Stop.” With an exasperated look, Summer shook her head. “For God’s sake, just be honest with me. She’s not just a mentor to you. Is she?”
“She’s straight.” Elizabeth ground out the two words. “One hundred percent. I promise you that. She’s never shown even the faintest interest in another woman. Besides, Grace has been in love with Amrit for years. You saw how she was with him. You even mentioned it.”
