Reappearance of Summmer

by D J Small

  As she walked into the office, Val decided to touch base with Addison to make sure nothing pressing was scheduled or supposed to happen, then she would finish her day early. Val sat behind her desk, lips forming a line of determination as she devised a plan while sending a message to Addison.

  ~~~

  Summer needed a damn drink. Having spent the last two hours reading financial reports, she wanted to murder someone. It wasn’t the numbers themselves, she was great with numbers, it was the mundane reason behind them. Summer had majored in aeronautical engineering, and those were fun numbers, but projection numbers for the foundation’s donations and expenses were boring. Releasing an irritated sigh, Summer dropped the report in her hand on top of the stack of papers sitting next to her on the couch.

  Since she couldn’t drink, Summer thought about having her nightly cigar earlier than usual. The fleeting thought of having Ryan arrange something for her came and went as quickly as it appeared. She hadn’t had sex for months, but she couldn’t bring herself to have frivolous sex with someone while being in such close proximity to Val. It felt wrong, and even more so because all she seemed to think about was her ex-wife.

  Letting out another deep breath, Summer got her crutches and got up from the couch. Once they were situated, she began to make her way to the balcony. A knock on the door caused her to mutter, “Am I not allowed to get a fucking moment of peace?”

  Turning around, Summer made her way to the front door. When she opened it, a stunned expression filled her face and her brain came to a sudden stop. Val held up the bag in her hand and said, “I’ve got steamed dumplings, lo mein, and a gross amount of shrimp rolls. Believe me when I say it was hell getting this food. Chef Angela was not happy.” Summer opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. “Oh, and I figured we could go to the movie database online and catch up on all the terrible rom-coms you haven’t made me watch the last couple of years.” Val chuckled. “I’m sure my eyes will roll into another dimension, but I guess it’s for a good cause.”

  “What are you doing here, Val?” was the first thing to come out of Summer’s mouth once she could speak again.

  Val smiled. “I heard you were having a crappy week, so I thought I would come and make it a little better for you.”

  Still shocked by Val’s presence at her apartment, Summer gawked at her for a second then shook her head. “I’m sorry, but you can’t be here.”

  The smile on Val’s face fell. “Do you…is there someone here?”

  “No, there is no one here.”

  “Then what is it?”

  Summer closed her eyes and took a deep breath. There was probably no better time than the present for them to have this conversation. Keeping her eyes closed, she said in a quiet voice, “You’re no good for me.”

  Summer opened her eyes just as hurt appeared in Val’s brown ones. Before she could explain, Val shoved the food towards her and said, “Eat and take it easy, will you?”

  “Val, I’m sorry. If you—”

  “No, don’t worry about it, and don’t be sorry.” Val drew in a breath and released it, throwing her hands up. “If I’m no good for you, then I’m no good for you. Have a good night, Summer.”

  “Val!” Summer shouted as she began to walk down the hall. She called her name again, but she didn’t stop, and all Summer could do was watch her leave.

  Summer slammed the door closed and yelled, “Dammit!” This wasn’t how the conversation was supposed to go, and once again she had hurt Val. Frustrated and angry, Summer went into the kitchen, and after she put the food on the counter, she got a glass and the bottle of whiskey out of the cabinet, pouring herself a drink.

  She slammed the glass down on the granite countertop after draining it and whispered, “Fuck.” She didn’t know what to do to fix this.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Summer stormed into Kareem’s office yelling, “This is all your fucking fault. Had I not fucking listened to you then I wouldn’t have ended up hurting Val a-fucking-gain. Fuck you and your fucking psychological bullshit.”

  She paced around the office seething with anger, and Kareem didn’t say anything, causing her anger to worsen. A good amount of time passed, and Summer’s anger lessened, but not by much.

  “Why are you lashing out at me?” Kareem asked gently.

  “I’m fucking lashing out at you because you’re the reason why I hurt Val.” She pressed her lips together as tears formed in her eyes. “I keep fucking hurting her, and I can’t seem to figure out how to stop fucking doing it.” Summer walked over to the couch and dropped on to it. Resting her elbows on her thighs, she buried her hands in her hair and stared down at the thick carpet.

  Kareem was an easy target for her anger and frustration, which was why she had come storming into his office, but the emotions were rapidly giving way to hurt and guilt, and she wanted his help. Silence continued to fill the spacious office, and Summer mentally berated herself for how last night’s conversation with Val had gone.

  “What happened?” Kareem asked eventually.

  Summer kept her head down and sighed. “Val came over last night, and she wanted to have dinner and watch movies. It took me off-guard because we haven’t spoken in a week and I haven’t figured out what to do with her.” Summer let out another sigh and lifted her head. “I told her she wasn’t good for me.”

  “I see,” Kareem said with a nod. “Did you explain to her why she wasn’t good for you?”

  “I tried,” Summer said, her voice rising as frustration got the best of her. “But she wouldn’t let me.”

  “Have you tried calling her?” Summer shook her head and Kareem hummed. “I must say, it is very telling that hurting Val has upset you this much.”

  Summer forced out a small breath and countered, “Of course it upsets me. I love her, but I keep hurting her, which is not what Val deserves, especially being president. Being president doesn’t give her the freedom to show when she’s hurting, and Val is a woman who feels greatly.” She released a defeated sigh. “I know it’s killing her.”

  A moment of silence lingered between them then Kareem said, “Perhaps talking to Val is the first step in helping you figure out everything.”

  Summer grunted and remarked, “That’s if she’s even fucking talking to me.”

  “Probably not,” Kareem teased with a small smirk.

  Summer glowered. “I hate you.”

  “I know you do, but you also like me,” Kareem remarked with a small chuckle.

  Summer drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I had a drink last night.”

  Kareem held up his hand. “Don’t go there, Summer. I know you want to vilify yourself for doing it, but it’s unnecessary. Take a look at the circumstances. They were extenuating ones and you went to what works for you. I’m not going to condemn you for it, but I will suggest that you take the alcohol out of your apartment so it doesn’t happen again.”

  “All right.” Summer sat back against the couch and let her head fall back. Gazing up at the ceiling, she said, “You want me to talk about that fucking crash today, don’t you?”

  “You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to, but no, I don’t want to hear about the crash.” He stopped for a second, then said, “I want to talk about how you felt after it.”

  Summer lowered her head and glared at Kareem. They had come to an agreement about her therapy; she could talk about anything she wanted to, but she would have to make an attempt to work through some of her issues while they spoke. “I really do hate you.”

  Kareem laughed, and Summer shook her head. Their relationship was a peculiar one.

  ~~~

  Curled up in the corner of the couch in the Oval Office, Val read the dossier on a sitting judge who presided over a lower court in Alabama. He was currently on her shortlist of potential Supreme Court judges. Rumors were starting to fly around about Judge Peterson retiring at the end of the current session. Val sighed and flipped to th
e next page.

  For most of the day, she hadn’t really felt like herself, and because of her current mood, Val had canceled her non-vital meetings and sequestered herself in the Oval, reading various pieces of legislation, looking over economy and job reports, and deciding which head of state she would be hosting next.

  Considering the situation in Iraq, it would probably be whoever won the election once Nasir and Hasem were out of power. She hadn’t received an update from the Alliance on everything yet, but Secretary Kanaan had called to let her know their troops had arrived at the Turkey-Iraq border to assist Alliance forces. Once again, Val hoped this would not turn into a full-blown war or a drawn-out conflict.

  She got up from the couch and walked over to the drink cabinet to get a glass of water. Her mood wasn’t improving, and it was because she kept thinking back to what Summer had said to her. Of all the things Summer could accuse her of, being bad for her wasn’t something Val thought she would ever hear from Summer, but she had.

  Val took a long sip of water, then shook her head. If anyone was bad for someone, it was Summer. The accusation had hurt at first, because all Val wanted to do was help her, but then her hurt had turned into anger because of how absurd the accusation seemed. After the anger had passed, it had left Val in a numb state, and she didn’t know what to do to get out it.

  There were a number of factors that made Val believe she wasn’t good for Summer, but they mostly revolved around her being president and being in the public spotlight. Those were the only things she could think of that would make her bad for Summer, because there were no other explanations she cold think of, and Val was confused over where this line of thinking was coming from.

  Before Val could lose herself in trying to understand Summer, the door to the Oval opened, and Summer rushed into the room with Manny hot on her heels.

  “Ma’am, I tried to stop her, but you know…”

  Val smirked and crossed her arms so her glass rested in the crook of her left elbow. “I do know. This is the colonel, and she does whatever she damn well pleases.” She gave Manny a gracious smile. “It’s okay, Manny. Thank you.” As soon as the door closed she pinned Summer down with a pointed gaze. “What are you doing here?”

  Summer smiled a little and gestured towards her. “Chasing after you so I can explain myself, again.”

  “This is becoming a common occurrence.” She chuckled. “I do have to say, it is a refreshing change of pace. Much better than you taking off with no explanation.”

  Summer nodded. “Okay, I deserved that.” She sighed. “Val, about last night, I meant what I said, but not how I said it.”

  Val arched her eyebrow. “That doesn’t help your case any.”

  Summer let out a frustrated breath and blurted, “You’re a distraction.”

  “Wow, that is so much better. Way to go, Colonel.”

  “Dammit, I’m trying, Val.” Summer let out another deep sigh and said, “I love you, and being around you these last few months, especially these last few weeks, have been the first time—in a long time—where I have actually felt like myself. When I’m with you, and there are no expectations, I can truly be myself, because you already know me, Val. The problem is that because you know me I get comfortable, and I’m afraid this will give me a reason to not fix myself, which isn’t good for either of us.

  “This is why you’re no good for me, but goddammit, I do love you and I want to be around you. However, I need to fix myself first before it can happen. Does any of this make any fucking sense?”

  “Yeah,” Val said softly with a nod. It made more than enough sense, and as much as she wanted to argue against it, she couldn’t. Summer was putting herself first, and she couldn’t fault her for it because it needed to be done. A thick silence filled the Oval Office, and after a minute of trying to come up with something to say, Val asked, “Where does this leave us?”

  “I don’t know,” Summer replied with a sigh.

  Val could see how lost she was, but it was obvious she wouldn’t be able to fully distance herself in order for her to stay focused on her treatment. Her barging into the Oval was enough proof of that. This meant it was on Val to let go of the tenuous relationship they were starting to build. She drew in a deep breath and released it slowly. “I think you should focus on you, and when you think you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

  Summer scoffed. “That’s not fair. You shouldn’t have to wait for me to get my shit together.”

  Val placed her glass on the drink cabinet and moved closer to Summer. “Had I taken proper care of you the first time around, I wouldn’t have to wait, and we wouldn’t be in this position.” She stared into Summer’s blue eyes and saw how much she wanted to fight this, but they both knew this was for the best. “I love you, Summer, but there is no other option here. I will wait until you are ready.”

  “Val…”

  They held each other’s gaze, both wanting to say so much, but there wasn’t anything left for them to say. It needed to be done. This was the sacrifice Val should have made after the crash, but guilt and pain had held her back from doing so. Neither of those emotions were present now, and all she felt was her love for Summer and wanting to see her get better.

  The door to the Oval Office opened and Addison came in. She looked between them, then said, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but something has occurred in Iraq, ma’am.”

  Val nodded. “All right.” The corners of her mouth turned up in a brief smile. “I guess it’s back to work.” She reached for Summer’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before letting it go. Walking out of the office, Val didn’t know what the future held for her and Summer, but she meant what she had said. She would wait for Summer as long as she needed to. Drawing in a deep breath, Val switched back to being the president and readied herself for the latest development to come out of Iraq.

  ~~~

  “You’ve had the same look on your face for the last two miles,” Ryan commented as he ran next to Summer.

  She glanced at him, then focused on the path in front of her. The two of them were jogging around the national park that housed the country’s various memorials—an idea that had come to Summer an hour before sunset. Staying inside as her thoughts tormented her had almost driven her to insanity, and she had needed to get out of her apartment, but it seemed not even her jog was helping her escape the damning thoughts that hounded her.

  Val agreeing to wait until she got her mental health under control was incredible, but Summer still believed it wasn’t fair to her. It didn’t matter if she still loved Summer, Val deserved a life full of love and adventure with someone who had their shit together, and that wasn’t her. Summer slowed down, clasping her hands together and placing them on top of her head. But Val wanted her.

  “What’s the matter?” Ryan asked as he moved closer to her.

  Summer stared at the Washington Monument. A lot of things mattered, but then again, maybe they didn’t. Perhaps the thing Summer needed was Val, but if she chose to stay around her while getting treatment, would she be a distraction, or would Val give her a swift kick in the ass if she showed signs of wanting to quit? Summer chewed on her bottom lip. She hadn’t been able to the last time, but would things be different now that she knew what was going on?

  Summer sighed and dropped her hands. The problem wasn’t Val. It was her, and her own fear of hurting Val again. Pushing Val away meant she wouldn’t have to see Summer fail if therapy didn’t work, or if a setback happened, but Val had faced Summer at her worst and didn’t cower away. Val never ran away, but she did; all the damn time. “I’ve got to stop,” she whispered.

  Ryan moved to stand in front of her. “What’s going on, Colonel?”

  Summer smiled at him. “I think it’s time I stopped running.”

  “Okay, I will call a car. Should be here in like two minutes or so.”

  Summer chuckled and shook her head. “No, Ryan, I’m talking about something else.” She gave his shoulder a gentle push. “You
and I have yet to hit ten miles.” She began to run backwards, a wide smile on her face. “Come along, Mr. Olsen.” Ryan let out an agonized groan as the two of them continued their run. Summer finally had a clear understanding of what she needed to do.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Val ran her hand down the front of the black designer gown covering her body. It hung off her shoulders and hugged her curves in a tasteful way. There were simple diamond drop earrings in her ears, and a matching necklace adorned her throat. Staring into the full-length mirror, Val thought she looked good, but still presidential. She drew in a deep breath, already wanting this night to be over. There was a knock on her bedroom door, and she called out, “Come in.”

  In the reflection of the mirror she watched the door open, and Addison walked in. Her chief of staff let out a low whistle and said, “Damn, you take two men out of power and you get your sexy back.”

  Val rolled her eyes and chuckled. “I do have to say, I look ten years younger since the situation in Iraq has begun to wind down.” The last few days had been an intense collaboration between the Alliance and U.S. forces in getting Hasem and Nasir out of power. The two men, their advisors, and their co-conspirators had been taken into custody, and the Alliance would be trying them for violating the 2072 treaty. To protect the people and keep the peace in Iraq, U.S. and Alliance troops remained in the country and they would be there until a new president was voted on by the Alliance leaders.

  After a new president was elected, the National Assembly would vote on whomever the president appointed to be prime minister. The process would be a long and drawn-out one, but once it was done and the Alliance had everything under control, Val would give the order for U.S. troops to come home. She hoped it would be before Christmas, but she knew that was wishful thinking. Luckily, they had been able to rescue the remaining soldiers that had been captured by the insurgents, and they had all gotten home safe and sound.