Ranger's Legacy

by Vella Munn

  “They’re only partly responsible for why we’re going to hide out for a while,” Randy said. “Dad already asked how much I’m going to increase my life insurance by. I guess I should feel grateful he isn’t the kind of grandfather who’ll go crazy buying pink everything.”

  Laughing, the three siblings entered the empty waiting room. Mike had already had his first uncle fix. He’d had to leave to deal with a plumbing problem at home, but that had been resolved.

  Even as she listened to Randy talk about labor and birth, she felt somewhat removed from the conversation. Her brothers had always been close. She thought Randy getting married might change their relationship, but Cindy had introduced Mike to one of her closest friends and now Mike was thinking about getting married. She loved hearing her siblings discuss more than finances and politics.

  “You should think about it yourself,” Randy said. “I saw your expression while you were holding Sharee Kale. You’re ready to nest.”

  “Speaking of nesting,” Mike said. “I saw Barnes the other day. He wanted to know how you’re doing. I told him to ask you. He said he’s been thinking about flying out to see you.”

  “He what? No.”

  “Why not? It isn’t as if the two of you are enemies.”

  “No, but it’ll never work between us. I thought he understood that.” She’d always resisted talking about romantic relationships with her brothers, but like their parents, they didn’t take no for an answer. She only had a few hours to spend with her siblings and refused to taint it by telling them to butt out. But if she didn’t once again draw a boundary, they’d keep asking probing questions and she might make the mistake of mentioning Garret.

  Garret who didn’t know where she was.

  “You look exhausted.” Randy patted her knee. “They working you too hard? I still don’t understand your job.”

  “I explained.”

  “Yes, you did, but it’s so different from the world I know.”

  “We were talking about that the other day.” Mike indicated his brother. “About how our kid sister went and grew up when we weren’t paying attention.”

  “You were?” she asked.

  “Did you think we wouldn’t?” Mike sobered. “It’s strange not having you around all the time.”

  “Randy just said pretty much the same thing.”

  “How are you managing without us? The pictures you sent of where you live—it’s a lot different from the condo you and Barnes had. How old is it? Was it built to withstand Montana winters?”

  She shook her head. “Don’t get started. I picked it out without your help. Guess I have no choice but to live with the decision.” She had no intention of mentioning that Garret had played a huge role in it.

  When Mike opened his mouth, she steeled herself. Knowing her brother, he was far from done with dispensing advice.

  “You’re right.” He patted her shoulder. “Your decision, your responsibility.”

  She gaped at him. “Are you serious?”

  “He is,” Randy said. “We don’t like it, but you are an adult. We made a vow to treat you like one, at least to try.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  She paid little attention when the conversation changed to something Mike was dealing with at work. She’d faulted Randy for not trying to understand her job, but she wasn’t any better. People got wrapped up in their separate lives. The here and now took priority, those who lived at a distance not so much. It was different for her brothers because their houses were only a few blocks apart, and they socialized together.

  She wasn’t part of the family, not like she’d been while she was growing up. Acknowledging the change made her a little sad, but she was responsible for the distance.

  It wouldn’t be bothering her as much as it did if she didn’t have a newborn niece she longed to snuggle and spoil.

  Or if a certain someone was waiting for her when she got home.

  Randy stood. “I’m going back. You two want to join me?”

  “In a few minutes,” Mike said.

  Amber and Mike were agreeing that their brother had never looked happier when she spotted their parents heading their way.

  “Here they come,” Mike said. “Dad’s determined to talk to you. I tried to tell him the timing sucks, but you know how he is.”

  “Oh, yes. It isn’t as if I haven’t had to deal with him before.”

  “I know.” Mike stood. “But this is the first time he’s had to deal with a daughter he can’t drop in on whenever he wants to. He’s still determined to map out our lives.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “To play uncle and hide out. That little lady is a lot more interesting than you are.”

  Envying her brother, she watched as he paused on his way back to the birthing room to speak to their parents. She’d barely spoken to them since getting here because they’d been intent on taking pictures and letting their colleagues and distant relatives know. She’d hugged them of course and had taken pictures of them holding their first grandchild. One shot of her mother had brought her close to tears. For once her mother wasn’t focused on the world around her. She’d looked totally in love as she studied her granddaughter.

  “You’re leaving?” she asked.

  “Until evening,” her mother said. “Unfortunately we both need to get back to work. I certainly hope Randy won’t let Cindy invite her friends over right after she’s released.”

  Time hadn’t changed her mother. Personalities were deeply engrained. Sometimes it took a hard lesson for Amber to acknowledge that.

  No! She wasn’t going to let what had happened between her and Garret intrude right now. It was bad enough that was all she’d thought about during the flight.

  “Randy and Cindy will do what feels right for them. They want to show off their baby.”

  “Randy has arranged to have his partners take his patients for at least a month,” her dad said. “He’s making a mistake. That much time off work—his partners will to try to get those patients to switch to them.”

  There was no way her father could know that. However, she knew better than to say so. For as long as she remembered, Dad had warned against the backstabbing among colleagues. That was why he put in the hours he did at the university. She suspected the truth was he loved the work environment since he was in a position of power there. Home with three children determined to live their own lives and a professional wife was another story.

  “Randy knows what he’s doing.”

  “That remains to be seen. You’re going to be around this evening, right?”

  “Until tomorrow. I’m planning to be around my niece as much as possible, why?”

  “Because we need to talk.”

  “Oh?”

  “About an assistant teaching position for you at the university. The school received a sizeable grant. The president informed me that adding to the archeology staff is a priority. He thinks highly of you and with my connections—”

  “I have a job.” One that will keep me around a man who isn’t right for me.

  “One hardly anyone knows about. Amber, we’ve all invested too much in your career to be comfortable with the way it’s developing. Once you secure the assistant position, you’ll be in the right place to go after your doctorate.” He gave her his I-know-what’s-best look. “You’ve given this job you’re doing a shot. It won’t harm your résumé, but the time has never been better for you to join the university staff.”

  Part of why she’d chosen Montana was to put distance between herself and her overachieving parents. She’d never expected she’d meet Garret, but if she took advantage of what her father was dangling before her, she wouldn’t have to see Garret again.

  “Think about it,” her dad said. “We’ll talk tonight.”

  Her mother’s heels clicked on the floor as her parents headed for the elevator. There was something strident about the sound, almost as if her mother was lecturin
g her, waiting for her to come to her senses and do what they knew was right.

  Trouble was Amber couldn’t deny there was some truth to what her parents thought. She didn’t quite fit into her current job. Unlike Garret, who probably never imagined doing anything else, she felt unfulfilled. A lot of it was her fault. Only she could convince herself that she was doing something important.

  Students needed to be educated.

  If only she had someone to talk to.

  She debated approaching her brothers, but Randy was focused on fatherhood and Mike would try to convince her to get in touch with Barnes. Also, her brothers had significant others in their lives, and she didn’t want to be reminded of that.

  Grandma Bea and Laurie.

  She stopped in mid-stride. Why had Garret’s grandmother and mother come to mind? At first she thought it was because he’d been on her mind, but they weren’t extensions of him. They were separate human beings, lively, fun-loving, yet serious, women who didn’t dictate or judge.

  Much as she longed to reach out to them, she wouldn’t because they reminded her too much of Garret.

  “No, no, please don’t think that,” she told Randy that evening. “I’m delighted Sharee Kale decided to make an appearance when she did. That way I didn’t have to take any time off work.” She sighed. “But now that I’ve held her, leaving is going to be hard.”

  It was going on for nine in the evening and except for her, Randy, a dozing Cindy, and the baby nestled in her mother’s arms, they were the only ones at her brother’s place. Cindy and Sharee Kale had been released in the afternoon. The friends had accompanied them home and had still been there when her parents arrived with food from a new upscale restaurant. Fortunately the friends had left once they’d scarfed down everything except something unrecognizable wrapped in grape leaves. Mike and his girlfriend had shown up just as her father brought up the university job. To her relief, Mike had distracted their parents by announcing that his girlfriend had agreed to marry him.

  Watching Randy and Cindy congratulate the couple, she’d nearly broken down. She wanted her brothers to be happy, wanted to be an aunt to more than one child, but seeing her siblings with their arms around the women they loved hurt.

  “You don’t have to stay away,” Randy said. “I know what Dad has up his sleeve. You haven’t said anything about a man. Maybe leaving wouldn’t be so hard.” He pointed at his daughter. “In a couple of weeks she’ll need you to show her how to ride a bike.”

  “Don’t do this to me.”

  She’d been standing by the door ready to take off for her motel but now she tiptoed to her sister-in-law’s chair and kissed her niece’s cheek.

  “I’m sorry,” Randy said when she was done. “I swore I wasn’t going to pressure you anymore. You’ve always had family, me included, telling you how to live your life.”

  Garret isn’t like that. He just wants to protect me. Doesn’t understand I need to stand on my own feet.

  “I love you,” she said.

  “And I love you. Do what’s right for you. That’s the only advice I have.”

  Grateful for how their relationship had matured, she hugged her brother.

  “Here’s my advice,” she said. “Let Sharee Kale become who she needs to be.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  From where he stood at the front of the Salish Kootenai College classroom, Garret could meet every student’s gaze. He hadn’t looked that young when he’d been a student here, had he? He’d been more mature, more confident than these future forest rangers. Despite the importance of what he’d been brought in to talk about, he wasn’t sure he could give the subject the attention it deserved.

  The weekend had been hard, Monday no better. He should have been relieved to know he wouldn’t run into Amber in Sweetheart, but he could almost swear she was waiting just out of sight primed to confront him. He didn’t blame her for how she’d reacted when he’d taken on Werner. The problem between him and Amber went deeper than him going toe-to-toe with Werner instead of trusting she could handle life’s conflicts on her own. This wasn’t a one-time thing with him. His protective streak went deep and she knew it. No wonder she’d taken off for who knows where, but not seeing or hearing from her on Monday was disconcerting. She hadn’t quit, had she?

  “The timing for my former student’s visit couldn’t be timelier,” Ben Hanson said. “Garret, the class has been talking about the physical and emotional components rescuers face during a lengthy search. You were in charge of a recent rescue that went on for two days and a night. Going into it, you couldn’t estimate how long it would take, right? How do you prepare for something with no definite end time? Perhaps more important, how do you deal with not knowing how it’s going to turn out?”

  Garret gave Ben a wry smile then faced the room. “I should have known he’d throw that at me. Mr. Hanson never asks easy questions. I figured if I could pass one of his tests, I could handle anything.”

  The students laughed. He was pleased to see that a third of them were female. Hopefully no one was starry-eyed. The last thing he’d ever do was make someone think being a forest ranger was glamorous. The job was physically demanding and could be hard on relationships, not that he could fault his career for what had happened to Amber and him.

  “I can’t give anyone a blueprint for how they’ll react to a life or death situation dictated by the environment,” he said. “It’s different for everyone. One of my best friends is Salish. He understands the wild in ways I never will. The wilderness doesn’t tell me its secrets like it does him. I try to learn something new every time I’m in the forest. I’ll always be a student there, won’t ever make the mistake of telling myself I know it all.”

  He hadn’t gotten around to answering Ben’s question about the emotional impact, which was what his audience needed to hear. He could either talk in generalities or he could go deep inside himself.

  Say things he hadn’t told Amber.

  “If you become forest rangers, eventually you’ll be involved in needing to find someone or transport an injured hiker to where they can be properly cared for. Unless the search resolves itself fast, the hours of looking will be hard.”

  He paused to give the students a moment to let that sink in. That was when he realized Amber was sitting at the back of the room. She must have been there when he’d come in. He stared at her. Whatever she was thinking, he couldn’t determine anything from her expression. Had she come here to tell him good-bye?

  Don’t go, please. You mean so much to me, more than I knew was possible.

  Not long ago she’d been a stranger both to him and the land that was part of him. In a few remarkable weeks, she’d become part of his world. She might not yet love it as much as he did, but the potential was there in the way her eyes filled with tears at the sight of a grizzly and her desire to spend a night in the wilderness with him. She took pictures not simply so she’d have something to share with family and friends but because the wild spoke to her.

  She’d put up with his desire to protect and care for her until he’d overwhelmed her with it.

  “Time does crazy things when you’re in the wilderness and the clock is ticking,” he said around his accelerated heart rate and the knot in his throat. Despite a room full of people who wanted to hear what he had to say, his words were for her alone. “Your body is working hard but your mind doesn’t have enough to occupy it.”

  She nodded.

  His gaze still fixed on her, he fought to continue. “What I’m trying to say is, I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching. Trying to break free of old behaviors, starting fresh.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” she said loud enough for everyone to hear.

  “Don’t try. Just listen. I have a jump on most people involved with search and rescue because it happened to me a long time ago. I was nineteen.”

  His audience gasped while disbelief, pain, and anger transformed her features. No wonder she was angry. He should have already to
ld her this.

  “Yeah, nineteen. I learned at an early age what utter helplessness feels like. To want with every fiber of my being for the nightmare to end, to blame myself.”

  As the students followed her every move, she stood and backed until she was against the wall.

  Keep going. “The experience had a profound effect on me. In some respects, that time is responsible for the man I became.”

  “Garret,” Ben said as Amber placed her hand over her mouth, “I realize you’d prefer your admission to be between you and this young lady but hopefully you feel like giving the rest of us some specifics. I can tell it’s still hard to talk about.”

  “It is.”

  “Did you get lost?” a young man in the front row asked. “Where did it happen?”

  “Not me.” Say it. Let her hear. “My sisters. In the Great Bear Wilderness Area.”

  He’d spent the weekend mentally trying to explain why he acted like a pit bull around Werner. He’d never thought it would come to this with anyone except Jake and Hunter. That he’d have to confess his failings. He could still get out of this without ripping himself open, but if he took the coward’s way out, he might never again talk to Amber.

  “My sisters are thirteen months apart in age,” Garret said as Amber struggled to keep her legs under her. “I’m four years older than Meri, five plus older than Liana. Maybe it was them being so close in age and Mom needing help riding herd on a toddler when Liana was born that made me feel responsible for them. I loved them from the moment they were born, and they saw me as the perfect toy.”

  She’d never heard that tone from Garret. In some ways it mirrored how her brother talked about his infant daughter. She hadn’t wanted to come here tonight, but when Jake told her where Garret would be and what he’d be doing, she couldn’t face herself if she didn’t listen to a few minutes of what he had to say. Once she had, she’d leave.

  “Our old man took off when we were young,” Garret continued. “In some respects, I stepped into that role. When I was a teenager, I met a man who became the greatest influence in my life. I mentioned that a friend is a Salish Indian. The man is Hunter’s grandfather. William encouraged and challenged Hunter and me to accompany him into the wilderness. It spoke to us, and we spent every possible minute there.”