Significance

by Shelly Crane

  “So, I can’t tell Rebecca?” I knew the answer but felt the need to ask anyway.

  “I’m afraid not. Sorry,” he said as he typed something into his phone and then slipped it back in his pocket. “Sorry. My friend, Vic, texts me like a jealous girlfriend.”

  I laughed.

  “No. It’s ok. And I kinda figured that I couldn’t tell anyone but it didn’t hurt to ask.”

  He stretched his legs out beside me, not touching me, and crossed his ankles, laying his head back against the seat. As if he was settling in for a long haul talk. I smiled to myself.

  “So, how long have you known each other? You and Beck,” he asked.

  “Birth.”

  “That right?”

  “Yep.”

  “And what about your brother? Where is he?”

  I told him about my parent’s adoption of Bish, how he moved to New York and I never see him anymore but we text all the time. That he left for school before mom left so he missed all the drama.

  “So,” I asked. “What about Jen? I didn’t remember seeing her husband there this morning. Where did she meet him?”

  “Uh,” he sat up slowly, setting his elbows on his knees and looking uncomfortable. “Well, remember we told you that no one has imprinted in a long time.”

  “Yeah, I remember.”

  He waited, watched me and I thought hard because it seemed he wanted me to figure something out. Then it clicked. His sister couldn’t be but a few years older than Caleb. So, she couldn’t have imprinted with anyone if no one has in twenty years. Yet she had a daughter. Hmm.

  “Yeah, I remember you said that. So, if she didn’t imprint, and didn’t get married what happened? If you don’t mind my asking is Maria adopted?”

  “No, she’s not adopted.” He turned to look at me and smiled sadly. “That sweet little girl is the product of a crazy end of the summer party and the date rape drug.”

  I gasped and covered my mouth with a hand.

  “It’s ok,” he assured me.

  “Caleb. Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry for her.”

  “Don’t be,” he scooted closer and placed his hand on my elbow to draw off some of the anxiety that had my heart racing. “She was angry. Extremely angry for a while. She was a different person, dropped out of school, which was understandable. You see, there is usually more than one of us from the family at Tennessee together, we watch out for each other. It just worked out that her first year she was alone. Remember I told you there is still a lot of family that you haven’t met. Well, we’ve never had any problems, except that one year. That one time. This is why we stay together. This is why they want us to go to school and work together and live near each other. Because things happen and it’s just easier if we’re all there to help each other or prevent stuff from even happening. I know it happens to humans too, but we have so much to hide. And things like that could expose everyone.”

  “Yeah. So, she had the baby anyway.”

  He scoffed and chuckled.

  “Of course she did. The police told her they couldn’t find out who did it and she should just have an abortion and even set her up an appointment at the clinic before telling her. Well, you don’t tell Jen what to do. She dropped out of school, came home and sulked and was a zombie for nine months. Then Maria was born and that was all it took, one look. Maria was born with a full head of dark curly hair.” He smiled remembering and I picked up bits and pieces from his mind but mostly just listened. “She was herself again after that. She said as morbid and twisted as it seemed, she was happy, because she wouldn’t have imprinted and never gotten a chance to have a baby otherwise. That she considered it a gift and wasn’t angry anymore.”

  “Wow.”

  I couldn’t imagine that. But Maria is pretty adorable. And I’m sure his close knit family made a huge fuss over her and cared really well for them both. It made me smile.

  “Yep. So, don’t feel sorry for her. She doesn’t regret it. In fact she went back to school two years later and finished her two year degree and then started work at the firm with everyone else. She loves it.”

  “Your parents didn’t try to make her have an abortion?”

  “No. They wouldn’t but I think they thought what she did. That she’d never get the chance for a baby otherwise and if that’s what she wanted, they’d support her for it.”

  “Wow.”

  “That’s like your favorite word, huh?” he teased and chuckled.

  “Oh yeah.” I bet I sound so young and stupid. “I just can’t believe that she-”

  “I was just joking.” He put his arm around my shoulder and squeezed me to him. “It’s cute. I like it, a lot actually.”

  “Cute?” I said playfully incredulous.

  “Yep. Cute.”

  “I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not,” I said and leaned away in mock distress.

  He grinned and followed me as I inched away laughing, he inched closer.

  “Oh, it’s a compliment.” I came to the edge of the seat and stopped. But he didn’t. He smooshed right up next to me and smiled deviously down at me. “Where you gonna go now, cutie?”

  “Um. Away.”

  I bolted from him and took off down the boardwalk.

  I heard him chuckle and then footsteps pounding behind me on the wood planks. The moon was bright and there was plenty of light to see him. He chased me and was fast but so was I. I was on the track team for crying out loud.

  “Hey! Jeez, you’re fast.”

  “I’m sorry you can’t keep up,” I yelled as I ran backwards. “I figured a big bad swimmer could handle a little jog.”

  “Ooooh.” He feigned anger. “You are so gonna get it now!”

  “You have to catch me first, slow poke!”

  “Ok! Ok. I give!” he called out and bent down to rest his hands on his knees.

  I came back to him slowly and stood next to him.

  “Hmm. I’m not sure I can be seen with you anymore. I’m thoroughly disappoint- Ah!” He grabbed me around my stomach from behind and lifted me, swinging me around. “You tricked me!”

  He pressed his face to my ear.

  “And you totally fell for it, too.”

  This savored strongly of the vision I had had of us when we imprinted. His breath on my ear, so close to my neck... I felt goose bumps glide down my skin rapidly and instantly blushed because I knew he could feel them too.

  “Yeah, I guess I did,” I said but it was all wrong and breathless.

  He set my feet to the ground but didn’t let me go, his hands moved to my upper arms. We stood looking out at the lake for a minute. I could feel every breath he took behind me. I pressed into his mind, focusing on him, to see what he was thinking. He was wondering the same about me. I could feel his pulse in my veins and it was faster than normal. I took some comfort that he was just as affected by my presence as I was by his.

  “I think I’m more affected if you ask me,” he said suddenly.

  “You are getting really good at that,” I said dryly.

  He laughed softly.

  “You get better at it the more time we spend together. You’ll only block me when you’re trying to. Soon, you’ll be able to pick up exact thoughts too, not just my feelings.”

  “Are you nervous about your ascension? Getting your abilities?”

  “Nah. I’ve waited for this all my life. Are you nervous?”

  “Terrified,” I breathed truthfully.

  He turned me in his arms to look at my face, his arms held me firmly to him.

  “Don’t be. It’s not that painful.”

  “Not that painful?”

  “Yeah. And the chills, fever and convulsions only last a couple days.”

  “What?” I said and even though he was touching me, I felt a spike of terror.

  “Yeah, but don’t worry. The little green spots that appear all over are mostly under your clothes.”

  I gaped at him and he smiled widely and cockily.

  �
�Caleb!” I pushed at his chest playfully. “I believed you.”

  “I know, I’m sorry.” He hugged me to him so I couldn’t see his face as he spoke into my hair. “You really think I’d be so happy about something that would hurt you and I couldn’t fix it?”

  “I don’t know what to think.”

  “I don’t want you to be scared about it. It’s a good thing and it doesn’t hurt at all. And it won’t happen if I’m not around.” He pulled back to look at me. His hands moved down, slid really, to rest on my lower back and I thought my pulse couldn’t possibly race more than it was already. “We’ll be together and I’ll know exactly what’s happening so don’t be scared. My parents said it feels kinda like the imprinting. You feel hot and cold, your heart races. Our abilities will compliment the other’s so we’ll be even more in tune and drawn to each other after that.”

  “I don’t see how that’s possible,” I muttered and then realized I’d said it out loud. I pressed my lips together and he smiled. “So, you’ll be with me when it happens and it won’t hurt?”

  “I’ll be with you and it won’t hurt,” he assured and his hands flexed on my back.

  “Ok. So what do you think you’re ability will be?”

  “No clue. But none of us have the same ability. So it will be something that no one else in the family has.”

  “Can it be something like making honey buns appear out of thin air, because I could get used to that.”

  He laughed and pulled me closer, pressing his forehead to mine.

  “I don’t think so, cutie.”

  “Dang,” I whispered.

  We sat for a few minutes just like that, eyes closed. I breathed him in and enjoyed the feeling of clarity and calm from his touch.

  “Are you ready to go home yet?”

  “No. But I guess I better. It’s getting late.”

  “Here,” his hands went inside my jacket and he pushed my arm through the sleeve. “Better zip this up. It’s dark so it’ll be even colder on the bike.”

  I let him pull both my arms through and zip my jacket up before he took my hand and we made our way back to the parking lot.

  “I picked a good day to wear a dress, huh.”

  “It may not be practical but you look very pretty.”

  “Thanks. So, um.” I had wanted to ask him this question since I first found out about all this but couldn’t get up the nerve. “Do you-” I sighed.

  “What is it?”

  “Do you, uh, feel withdrawals like I do?”

  “Of course, yeah. Significants always feel withdrawals for each other, especially in the beginning.”

  “But are they like mine? I mean, this morning I thought I was having a heart attack or something.”

  “Well,” we made it to the bike and he leaned against it, “no, from what Gran says, humans feel it a lot more than we do. This morning I felt sick and sore, just like you said, like I had the flu. It sucked but I knew what was going on and got to you as soon as I could but I wasn’t in pain. I’m really sorry about that. I’ll be there sooner tomorrow.”

  “It’s ok. I think it’ll be better tomorrow now that I understand what’s going on.”

  “So, that’s what you wanted to ask me?” he asked and looked unconvinced.

  “Not all of it. I-” I so didn’t want to say the words.

  Then a thought hit me. He could read my thoughts earlier, my actual thought. I decided to try it again. I thought about how I feel when he touches me. How I feel calm and collected and have no worries. I wondered if he felt that way with me. If my touch calms him and makes him feel better like his does me. Like a balm to soothe and comfort.

  I pushed my thoughts to him and watched his face to see if he heard me. He looked at me expectantly and then his mouth opened. He looked shocked and surprised. He smiled and laughed.

  “You did that all by yourself. I wasn’t even trying to read you!” I smiled too, enjoying his happiness as he moved to stand in front of me. “Wow. You are amazing, you know that? You’re constantly surprising me. But even with that, I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.” I stood listening and looking at him in complete agreement of what he was saying and complete awe at how we seemed to always be feeling the same thing. Then he pushed my hair behind my ear as he stepped a little closer. “And to answer your question, yes. Every time I touch you, it’s like a switch is flipped. I do touch you a lot when I feel your anxiety, but I do it for me too. It’s like everything that was wrong is right and it’ll all be fine if I can just touch you. It takes everything away that I don’t want to feel. I could touch you all day long.” And as to demonstrate, he let his fingertips coast down my cheek. “I can’t believe I only met you yesterday.”

  “Me neither,” I breathed and then sighed. “And you won’t see me tomorrow if we don’t get me home before midnight.”

  “Right. Yeah, let’s get going,” he said hurriedly, not liking the outcome of that.

  He put on our helmets and climbed on, then I hopped on behind him.

  “Hang on, gorgeous. I’m not taking it easy on you this time,” he said, my heart flipped and I heard him laugh trough the helmet.

  Whether it was because he could hear my thought or he could feel my excitement through my heartbeat, I didn’t know but didn’t care.

  “Ok.”

  “You trust me?” he asked as he cranked it up and I gripped him tight around his stomach. I could feel his muscles were hard and bunched through his shirt.

  “I trust you.”

  We rode in almost silence the way home, except for the occasional squeal from me. I let him ride as fast and as crazy as he wanted to. I was scared sometimes, especially on the curves where we leaned the bike into them, but I was having just as much fun too. I’d laugh and I’d hear him laughing too, through the helmet mics. He’d reach up and grip my hand or sometimes he’d reach back and rub my knee to soothe me and I felt instantly calm yet excited at his touch at the same time.

  We pulled up in front of my house with twenty three minutes to spare. I got off and handed him his helmet and jacket. He took his helmet off too and we stood by the bike for a minute as I thanked him again for dinner and he thanked me for going.

  I wondered again if he was going to try to kiss me.

  “Alright, I better let you go. I’ll be here first thing in the morning.”

  “Ok. I’ll see you then.”

  I started to go but he stopped me by grabbing my hand.

  “Maggie. I just need one more thing.” He pulled me close and I knew this was it. He was going to kiss me, but he didn’t. He pressed his forehead to mine and his arms went around me. “I just needed to touch you one more time,” he confessed softly, kissed my cheek and ran his hand down my arm. “You’re so soft,” he said too quietly, more to himself.

  “Thanks,” I muttered breathlessly and lamely.

  “Bye, Maggie.”

  “Bye,” I said but couldn’t take a step to go. “Caleb.”

  He glanced at me.

  “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “It’ll get easier, I promise. Maggie, I want you to go inside and get some sleep. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll see in the morning, I promise. And I can’t wait.”

  Then somehow I turned and made it to the steps, albeit wobbling and stumbling in my stupor. It was actually painful to watch him mount the bike and drive away. My gut twisted and pulled as I closed the door and leaned my back against it. My feet tingled and begged to take off running after him. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, smiling and remembered his words to me about seeing me in the morning.

  I pushed off the door and stepped into the foyer and saw my dad, sitting at the kitchen table.

  “Did you have a good time?”

  I was flabbergasted. What was up with him?

  “Uh, yeah. Sure, dad.”

  “Not too good I hope.”

  “Dad. Eew,” I said as I poured myself a glass of water.

  “I’m still your father, Maggie. Yo
u may not like it but you are not an adult yet. I want you to be careful with that boy. And I don’t remember you getting permission to ride on a motorcycle.”

  “I didn’t think I needed permission. He had a helmet and jacket for me. He’s very responsible.”

  “I’m sure, but that’s not the point.”

  “What is the point, dad?”

  “That you’re seventeen and still live under my roof. You can’t just do whatever you want to do.”

  “I’m not. I told you I was going out and you said it was fine.”

  He grunted and ran both his hands through his hair.

  “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked exasperated.

  “Look, I-” He choked on his words.

  Like really choked up. His head bowed and he sniffed. I saw his shoulders shake. His hand came up to swipe his face and I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked swiftly to him and knelt down in front of him.

  “Aw, dad. What is it?”

  “Maggie. I am so sorry.”

  “What for, dad?”

  He looked at me closely.

  “I did everything I could for your mother. She was everything to me. And then you came along and you were everything too. My girls. Then your mom left for no reason, out of the blue and took everything with her. She was spiteful and hateful. She didn’t care what happened to you or me and I couldn’t handle it. I loved her with everything I had and she gave me no reason, no real reason, for leaving. Just that I held her back. I don’t know what I did to her and I know that I’ve been a horrible person, let alone father, to you lately. I was bitter and nasty. I know you’ve been angry with me- for good reason. You just look so much like her and are so independent, I just assumed you didn’t need me or didn’t want me like she didn’t.” He took my face in his hands, the first time he’s touched me at all in almost a year and I saw another tear roll down his chin. “But I love you so much. It took me seeing you walking out that door with someone who could actually take you away for me to remember that. I’m so sorry, Maggie.”

  He hugged me to him tightly, crushed me to him really. My body was rebelling. It wanted to remind me of all the things he had said to me. All the things he needed to have done or said and didn’t. He let his grief over my mom ruin his life and I let my grief for him ruin mine.