Freeing Carter

by Nyrae Dawn

  Bill comes up to us next, then Mom's sponsor. Even after seven months clean, five months out of rehab, she's still doing her meetings, twice a week. She's gotten pretty close with her sponsor too.

  Mrs. Z is next. "Mr. Shaw," she smiles.

  "Mrs. Z," I throw back at her and she laughs.

  "Still the same kid. Don't change. And know I'm proud of you. For everything." I started letting her tutor me a little bit. And it actually helped. Helped me organize my thoughts and make sense of what Shakespeare's crazy ass wrote about.

  "Thanks. Probably won't be majoring in English or anything, but thanks."

  Shaking her head, she walks away.

  "Hey, Mom." Lana comes up behind us and she and Kira hug. She's called Lana "Mom" ever since they got back from LA.

  "Hey, you. Wow. I can't believe you graduated." She wipes her eyes and they hug again. "I'm sorry we couldn't find Caroline again. I'm sure you wanted her here."

  Caroline is Kira's biological mom. They talked for a little while, but she falls off the map a lot. It’s hard for her to stay off the streets, which sucks. My girl's strong though. She knows she doesn't need her. She knows who she is without her. Having Lana helps.

  "I have everyone here that I need." Kira squeezes my hand, and then grabs Lana's. Right then, Mom walks up to us again.

  "Can you believe they're leaving us, Delilah? Fashion design school. Los Angeles better watch out for you." Lana's eyes don't leave Kira.

  Me, I'm watching Mom. Waiting for her answer. Seven months ago, I never could have left her. I would have felt too guilty, but now...now I know she'll be okay and if not, there's nothing I can do to change it.

  "Los Angeles better watch out for both of them. USC is inheriting one hell of a point guard." Mom's eyes are a little watery as she speaks, but I'm pretty sure they're happy tears.

  Then she's pulling me into another hug, her mouth right next to my ear. "I love you, Carter. Every time I don't think I can get prouder of you, you do something else remarkable."

  "Thanks, Mom. I'm proud of you, too." I don't say anything else, but I don't need to. We all know why I'm proud. We know how far she's come, but also that the road hasn't ended. She'll be a recovering alcoholic for her whole life, just like I'll be the son of one forever, too.

  "Okay, I'm stealing my girl now," I tease them. Kind of tease. Okay, maybe not, because I really want to get her alone. "Let's go."

  Lana and Mom laugh as we walk away. As we do, we see Travis talking to his mom in the corner of the room. "Has he decided where he's going yet? What he's going to do?" Kira asks. I shake my head. We'd always wanted to play college ball together, but for some reason, even though USC wants him, Travis hasn't finalized anything yet.

  "Sucks," Kira says when we get outside.

  "Yeah." But in a way, I think it’s okay too. He’s eighteen. We’re all still trying to find out who we are. I don’t think we can always have the answers. Or maybe some of us do and some of us don’t. That’s life. I have no doubt he’ll find his way and be okay. He knows I’m here for him and always will be.

  "Did you drag me outside to play basketball with you?" Kira crosses her arms as we step onto the small court in my driveway.

  "That depends. Do we get to play strip basketball? We'll have to go up to my room for that, but—ouch." She swats me.

  "I don't think you could handle that, Coach." Then she smiles and winks, "Maybe later."

  I like the sound of that.

  Instead of replying, I pull her toward me, wrap my arms around her, and kiss her. We stumble backward a little until I'm leaning against the garage door. I love kissing this girl.

  A minute later, she pulls away and sighs.

  Sensing something, I prod her with, "Truth or dare?"

  "You first," she replies. "Are you scared to leave her?"

  I think about everything we went through. That night, all the nights leading up to it, and all the good nights since. "A little." It's something I'd only admit to Kira.

  "Truth..." she whispers in reply. “No matter what happens with your mom today, or tomorrow, or next week or next year, you can't save everyone, okay? You shouldn't have to, but—"

  "I know." And I do. I really know that now.

  "But," she stresses, I'm assuming since I cut her off. "You did save me. I know who I am. I also know it's okay to have blue hair or whatever else I do because it is me. Now I know," she shrugs, "that I do it because I like it, not because I'm trying to figure out who I am. It is who I am. And even though things didn't work out with Caroline, I'm okay. I don't need her."

  Our foreheads come together. It's our way of being close. Of sharing something with each other and no one else. "I love who you are."

  "Awww, I love it when you're romantic when no one else is around," she teases, but right now, I'm serious.

  "I love you." My words earn me one of her huge smiles. She does it every time I tell her. Even though the first time I finally said it, we were on the phone because she was still in LA, I know she smiled then, too.

  "I love you, too."

  I try to hide it, but yeah, I smile when she says it.

  "So...after the party tonight, I was thinking a little breaking and entering for old time's sake?" We haven't been back to that Jacuzzi since our first night together. I'm looking forward to taking her again.

  "You've got yourself a date, Coach." Leaning forward, it's her who kisses me.

  About the Author:

  Writing has always been Nyrae Dawn’s passion. There have been times in her life where she wasn’t able to chase that dream the way she desired, but she always found her way back to telling stories.

  One of her loves has always been writing about teens. There’s something so fresh and fun about the age that she loves exploring. Her husband says it’s because she doesn’t want to grow up. She doesn’t think that’s such a bad thing and luckily for her, he doesn’t either.

  Nyrae gravitates toward character-driven stories. She loves going on emotional journeys with characters whether it be reading or writing. And yes, she’s a total romantic at heart and proud.

  Nyrae resides in sunny Southern California with her husband (who still makes her swoon) and her two awesome kids.

  When she’s not with her family, you can be pretty sure you’ll find her with a book in her hand or her laptop and an open document in front of her.